Generations: Birds of a Feather
by Lakritzwolf
Summary: Twenty years after AWE. Doubts, regret, despair and the pain of missed chances and wrong choices come back to haunt you. But you can't turn back time. The only thing left now is what comes after you. Coming of age, and all that comes with it. No fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Insert standard disclaimer here.

This started off as a one-shot, but thanks to Florenca7, it has now turned into a full-fledged story. Thanks for that, Flor!  
Events happen roughly 20 years after AWE. And, as the title tells ye, there's the second generation of our favourite heroes taking part. I skipped the part with the nappy changing, though. Enjoy and please review!

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**Chapter one**

Imogen stood at the helm and remembered.

Until she was four, she had never set foot on land, had learned to walk on a ship.  
When she was five, she could do all the knots a sailor must ever know.  
When she was seven, she knew all the commands to steer a ship. (She had known the swearwords a lot earlier.)  
When she was ten, she had learned to use a cutlass and a sword.  
When she was fourteen, she had emptied her first bottle of rum. (Alone, that is. She had had tastes of that stuff long before that.)

With seventeen, she had been jailed for the first time, for several months, in fact. They had brought her into a convent after that, to save her soul, to turn her into a honourable girl again. This hadn't worked, of course.  
She had managed to flee after two years and now, with twenty, she had commandeered her first ship by the simple means of seducing the captain and then getting rid of him.

The crew hadn't resisted. Why should they have? Their old captain had been a mean, grumpy bastard, and Imogen was young, laughed a lot and was (which was probably what made her so popular) much more generous with the rum.

A wave hit the bow, spraying her with salt and water, and she licked her lips and turned the wheel. The sail at the horizon turned, so they finally had seen them. She had been chasing that ship since the morning.

"Man the canons!" she yelled.  
The other ship had turned and now seemed ready to stand a fight. They certainly were not fleeing.  
A canon shot roared, and the ball hit water some yards away from their bow. The Albatross turned, crossing before the wind, and another salve fell useless into the sea.  
Imogen measured the ship with a calculating look, then took out her spyglass.

She knew this ship… coming closer, she looked again and then finally recognised it.

The Black Pearl.

And at the helm…

Two captains stared at each other's lenses and both let their spying glass sink slowly.

"Stop!" Imogen yelled. "Hold the fire!"

At the same time, the hatches closed on the other ship. Slowly, the ships cruised against the wind until they were lying alongside, and Imogen swung herself across the gap between them and landed on board of the Pearl with a graceful thud.  
The captain swaggered across the deck towards her and she flashed him a grin, thumbs hooked into her belt.  
"I see ye finally managed to get a ship", he said. "How did ye do that?"

She grinned. "Seduced the captain, then slit his throat when he slept."  
"Oh. Not very nice."  
"No, but very effective."  
"Where do ye have that nastiness from, Imogen?"  
"Birds of a feather", she said and took a few steps toward Jack Sparrow. "The apple, and the tree and so on."  
Jack shook his head but flashed her a grin before he embraced her. "Welcome aboard again, Imi. Fancy a drink?"  
"Rum? Always. Thanks, dad."


	2. Chapter 2

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 2**

"So what've ye done with yerself, then?" Jack asked as they sat down in his cabin. Imogen grinned and accepted the bottle with a gracious nod.  
"Commandeered me a ship", she said.  
"Well, that's obvious", Jack remarked and took a swig from his own bottle. Imogen lifted hers into his direction and had a healthy gulp.  
"Oh, nothing much, really. Been to jail, got out of jail, been sent to a convent, got out of the convent, picked a few pockets, got me a man, got rid of him and then got his ship."  
Jack leaned back with a grin. Even had he tried it, there was no denying that Imogen was, indeed, his offspring. But he didn't, and looking into those dark, brown eyes, he could almost see himself as a young cub.

"So how is everyone?" Imogen asked, crossing her legs. When she leaned forward, Jack realised that while she wore a shirt and a waistcoat, the shirt was rather deep cut. And the way she sat and held her head, the way she smiled and winked at him made him realise why it had been so easy for her to get the trust of a pirate captain.  
Jack crossed his legs as well "Oh let me see." He took a swig of rum. "Cotton is still around, him and the bloody parrot, as well. Never guessed parrots could grow that old. Or maybe it's the second or third one."  
Imogen grinned and listened to her father gong through the list of the crew of the Pearl. Mostly, it was still the old crew, but after twenty years, a few of the older ones, like Master Gibbs, had died.

"Ye seem to be doing well, Jack", Imogen said and he smirked.  
"Not too badly, I must say. I'm planning on hitting Tortuga shortly, within the next few months."  
"Tortuga", Imogen said flatly and Jack raised his brows.  
"What's wrong with that?"  
Imogen bit her lower lip. "How long has it been since you were there, Jack?"  
Jack slowly sat up straight and leaned forward. "Imi… Is there a problem with your mother? How is she?"

Imogen leaned forward and took Jack's hand. "Dad", she said, and he was instantly worried. She only called him that when she was deeply moved or troubled. Imogen swallowed and then sighed. "She died almost a year ago."  
Jack slowly stood up and walked towards the window. Strange, he thought. Strange how he should feel grief, sorrow, pain and regret. Well, he felt sorrow. He felt regret. But grief and pain were strangely absent.

"Dad?"  
He shrugged.  
"I know you weren't…" Imogen began, and Jack slowly turned around again.  
"What? Weren't very fond of her? I was. I was very fond of her."  
"I know", she replied and got up. She slowly stepped beside him and laid a hand on his arm. "But ye didn't love her, did ye?"  
Jack stared out of the window again. "What makes ye think so?"  
"Because I've got eyes in me head?" she squeezed his arm. "Jack. Please. Now, at last, ye can be honest. There's no need in lying any more for her sake."  
"No, there isn't, is there", he said softly and looked at his daughter again.

"Is that why ye never married her?"  
Jack smiled sadly. "No. I've asked her several times. It was her who didn't want."  
"I see."  
"Do ye?"  
"I do", she said and squeezed his arm again. "She knew ye liked her well enough and was grateful because ye would marry her, just because ye'd impregnated her. But she knew ye didn't love her."

"How do ye know all that?", Jack said, suddenly feeling the need to defend himself.  
Imogen narrowed her eyes. "Because I was there when she died, Jack", she said in a cool voice. "She told me these things."  
Jack stared at her for a long while before recovering his wits. Then he slowly turned around again and continued to stare out of the window.  
„I should've been there, as well", he said after a while.  
"No", Imogen replied. „No, ye shouldn't."  
He turned and narrowed her eyes. She smiled slightly. „Believe me. She said that she was glad you weren't there. She said she was sick of you lying to her about you loving her."

Jack blinked slowly and Imogen shrugged. „She said she was glad you weren't there because ye would have lied to her one last time, pretending to grieve her passing. His need to lie is over now, she said."  
Jack took a slow, deep breath and stared out of the window again.  
„She also said she didn't know what made her fall for you in the first place, she had known all along ye were a lying, decieving bastard."  
„You are making that up."  
"I'm not."

Feeling like he was about to suffocate, Jack stormed past Imogen and out of the cabin onto deck.  
Yes, he had lied. He had never been in love with her. But when she had told him she was pregnant and swore it was his child, he had taken care of her. But not because of her. Because of the child. She had known, of course, had known all along, pretending to believe him.  
In retrospective, it would have been easier if she had kept yelling at him, slapping him, calling him names he cared not to remember. But she had smiled, had waited for him, and had all along known he had never loved her.

Jack gripped the railing and shook his head. The he heard her steps behind him and grimaced into the wind.  
„Why did ye take me, then?"  
He slowly turned.  
„Why did ye take me? Was it because of her, or because of you?  
"I don't know what ye mean." He was seriously upset by now. Was she actually blaming him for her mother's death, or for the fact he hadn't been there when she had died?

„Ye know what else she said? She was glad when ye took me away onto yer ship. She said she had hoped she would never see ye again. But ye kept coming? Why?"  
„Why? For Christ's sake, she was yer mother!" He didn't know what else to say.  
„Ye didn't really care for her, one way or another. But because she has born me, ye felt obliged. Is that true? Is that it?"  
„In plain words", Jack said, feeling a bitter taste on his tongue. „It is. Yes."  
„And why? Why is that so? Why did ye never have the guts to just tell her ye don't love her? Never had? You knew perfectly well she knew that, and yet kept on telling her that. Thought by telling it often enough it would come true? She hated ye for that. In the end, Jack, she hated you."

Jack kept his silence. He felt like defending himself, but then, what was there to say that wouldn't make it worse?  
„Ye're one sorry bastard, Jack Sparrow." She hooked her thumbs into her belt.  
„That's no way to talk to yer father, lass, pirate or no."  
„That's a way to talk to a lying bastard who thinks a woman is stupid enough to believe a lie for twenty years."  
„Do you want to know what a bastard I can be, lass?" Jack snapped at her. „I still can whack yer arse, ye little snotnose!"  
„Come and try it, old fart", she said, and made a jump backwards as Jack pulled his sabre. She grinned like a cat and unsheathed hers.

Around them, the crew of the Pearl slowly looked for coverage or disappeared under deck.

„I'm going to give you the whacking of yer life", Jack said with a bright smile.  
"If you catch me, ye're welcome", Imogen snapped back and jumped over Jack's blade as it swished at her knees.  
„Sorry old bastard."

Thrust. Parry. Duck. Thrust.

„Lousy bitch."  
Steel hit steel as their sabres interlocked in a parry and they both stared at each other, teeth bared in a grin. „Don't make me seriously hurt ye, lass."  
„I couldn't if I tried", she snorted.  
The broke free and Jack swung, but Imogen ducked easily under the blade with a speed that surprised even Jack. The clanging of parrying weapons wandered across the deck towards the helm.

„"Getting out of breath already, old fart?"

Thurst. Parry. Thrust. Parry.

„I wouldn't waste so much breath on mocking", he said, caught her wrist with the hilt of his sabre and with a round, twisting movement, made her sabre flying across the deck.

He smiled sweetly and made a step forward only to freeze in midmove, slightly paling. Imogen had moved ever so slightly, but fast as a snake, and now Jack felt something decidedly pointed and decidedly metallic pricking him where he really, really did not care for a pricking, metallic sensation. He slowly looked down and slowly dropped his own sabre.  
Imogen grinned sweetly and removed the knife with a swift move. They both looked at each other, then both simultaneously burst out laughing.

"Ye know, that's the first time in yer life you actually got the better of me", Jack said, draping an arm across her shoulder.  
„Ye're getting old."  
„Am not."  
„Is that grey in your hair twinkling in the sunlight?"  
„I am not getting grey."  
„Oh, no, sorry." She flashed him a sweet grin. „It's the skin of your skalp."  
"And I am Not. Getting. Bald."  
Cautiously, heads peeked up from under nets and behind barrels as their voices disappeared under deck.  
„Old fart."  
„Annoying snotnose."

x x x x x x x x

In the end, Imogen had talked him round in going to Tortuga after all, and now he stood there at her grave, hat in hand. Imogen stood beside him and tried to smile at him.  
„Well, farewell then", Jack said softly. „And sorry, Heather. I shouldn't have lied."  
He sighed and put on his hat. Imogen slipped her arm through his and they both left the little graveyard at the northern edge of Tortuga.  
„I was lying, as well", Imogen said after a while, as they were nearing the town center and harbour. He shot her a glance and she shrugged.  
"She didn't curse ye with her last breath. She did that directly after I came into her bedroom."  
„How… comforting, dear."  
„No, seriously", she said. There was no glint in her eyes and Jack looked at her.

„Jack. Dad. Her last words were that now you could stop lying to yourself and look for her."  
„Whom?" he asked, and Imogen thought that this answer had come far too quickly.  
„Ye're lying again. I don't know. I think she didn't. But she would've been pretty stupid if she hadn't known there was another woman. And while she was many things, being stupid wasn't one of her traits."  
„No", Jack said. „Surely not."  
„So where is she? Is she dead?"  
„There is no…" Jack began, but looking into her narrowing eyes, he sighed in resignation.

„I don't know if she still lives", he said at last. „But if she is, she's as good as dead to me, because she is a honourable, rich, wealthy, married woman. And she despises pirates in general, and me in particular."  
„Oh." She patted his arm. „That never stopped ye before…"  
„It does now", Jack said pointedly and walked off, leaving his daughter staring at his back.  
She shook her head. „And here I'd never guessed a man like him could ever be in love…"

x x x x x x x x

Later that day, Imogen made a round through Tortuga, looking for pockets. Having exchanged her breeches with a long skirt and removing the bandana, she looked like any wench walking the harbour quarters. Pirating was allright and exciting, but picking pockets, she had learned, was a very reliable source of income. She stood at a corner the smaller marketplace and looked for a possible target. And there was one, coming into view.

A lady, wearing a simple, plain dress. A way of simple and plain that bespoke clearly of a quality that only the very rich could afford. She grinned. This looked promising.

Imogen followed the woman around for a while and had to admit by then that she wasn't as naive as she had looked. She watched herself. But right now, she was watching the wares of a cloth merchant. Maybe…Imogen walked over and halted next to her to look at the cloth on display.  
„Get yer dirty paws of me silk, ye filthy whore!", the vendor yelled at her and she took a step back. The lady looked up to see what had caused the commotion and Imogen cursed inwardly. But instead of shouting at her, the woman stared at her wide-eyed and confused, for about five seconds before snapping her mouth shut with a wrench.

She smiled weakly. „There, for a moment I thought I… knew you."  
Staying in her assumed role, Imogen curtsied inaptly. „But madam, how could someone as you know the likes of me?"  
The woman didn't say a thing and hastily walked away, but Imogen set off after her and caught up with her between two houses, begging for a coin.  
The woman gave her a long stare. „I feel as I should know you, child. But maybe…" she shook herself and Imogen watched the woman slam a door into her face behind those honey-coloured eyes. „Maybe you've only got someone's eyes", she said coolly and smiled.  
„Oh, I definitely have someone's eyes, madam. My own, in fact."  
The woman, oblivious of doing so, started wrenching and kneading her hands. Imogen watched her face and saw a question hanging there.

„Is something wrong, ma'm?"  
„No… no I was just…" She took a breath. „What's your name, child?"  
„Imogen."  
„Imogen…?"  
_Careful. Where's that going to lead?_ " Imogen, ma'm. Just Imogen."  
The lady nodded. Then she asked, hastily as if afraid someone might overhear her: „Say, have you ever heard of a Captain Sparrow?"

Imogen wrinkled her brow. „Sparrow?" _What the hell_…  
„The name rings a bell", she said cautiously.  
„The famous, infamous Captain Jack Sparrow?"  
„Well, I've heard the name, ma'm…"  
„Who hasn't", the lady replied, looking so sad that Imogen almost laid her hand on the lady's arm.  
Then woman shook herself, straightened herself up and produced a large gold coin out of her pocket. Suddenly, Imogen was all ears.

„He isn't your father, by any chance? You seem to have his eyes. I'm sure there's enough women in Tortuga who qualify as…" She broke off, seeing Imogen's face. She hadn't liked the way the posh wench had said the word women. It had sounded like whore.  
Not that most women in Tortuga weren't whores. But that was… _something different? Oh come on_.  
The gold coin shimmered. „Do you know where he is?"  
„I might find out." Imogen said, assessing the women's face again. „What would a lady like you want from someone like him?"  
„Nothing that concerns you." She produced another gold piece. „Found out yet?"  
„I seem to remember", Imogen said carefully. „But I'm not completely sure yet."

A third gold coin joined the crew between the woman's fingers.  
„How do I know you won't have him arrested and hanged?" she said bluntly and crossed her arms. If someone was desperate enough to bribe a street whore with gold, there must be a serious problem.  
„I won't. Listen. I lodge in the Golden Anchor. If you find him", she said pointedly, „or remember where he could be, tell him to meet me there."  
Imogen raised one brow. „And who, pray, whoud the ‚me' be he's supposed to meet?" Cautiously she reached for the coins, and the women dropped them into her hand.  
„A widow", she said with a tightlipped smile, turned on her heel and walked off.

„Now will ye look at that", she murmured, looking at the coins, and then back at the place where she had seen the lady vanish into the crowd. „Will ye look at that."


	3. Chapter 3

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 3**

An hour later, Imogen found her father in the Drunken Rat. He sat in a corner, slumped across the table, head buried in his arms. Several empty bottles standing on the table told a story of their own. „Oh for heaven's sake…"  
„Jack", she said, sitting down next to him. She had changed back into breeches and boots, wearing belt, sabre and pistols again, as well.  
„Jack! Wake up and get off yer backside, ye drunken lout!"  
He grunted and lifted his head. „What d'ye want, ye annoying pest?"  
„You've a tête-à-tête, rum-snot. Get up."  
„I've got what?"

Imogen sat down opposite of him, resting her chin on folded arms on the back of the chair. „I've tried to pickpocket a fair, fine lady", she said, and Jack groaned. „And now ye need me to beat ye out of trouble?" He shook his head, and Imogen snorted.  
„Nothing of the sort. She looked at me when she saw me as if she had seen a ghost. To cut a long story short, she asked me if I knew where a certain Captain Jack Sparrow was to be found, believing him to be my father."  
Very slowly, Jack began to drift back into full consciousness again. He stared at her for a long while until realisation trickled into his rum-muddled brain what the… no… better, one possible meaning of that was. He swallowed.

„And she asked me to tell ye, well actually she paid me to tell ye, and in fine, gold coins that is, and three…"  
"Get to the point, lass." Jack sat straight up now and stared at her intently. Imogen smiled.  
„She wants to see ye. In the Golden Anchor."  
He took a deep breath. „Did she say who she is?"  
„Sort of", Imogen said.  
„Sort of?"  
„She said she was… well… When I asked who send the message she said: A widow."

The effect was unforeseen and astonishing. He went as pale as a shroud in a second.  
„Jack? Dad? You all right?"  
„Never been better", he replied with a toneless voice as he slowly got up. „Never been better."  
„What the…" She began, but then jumped up from her chair with a curse to follow him, for he had stormed out of the tavern in what was almost a run.

She caught up with him outside. „Care to tell me what this was about?", she asked, but Jack just rammed the hat onto his head and walked on.  
"Jack…"  
He stopped, took a breath and stared at her. That stare, she realised, was so intense, and so unfamiliarly aggressive that she suddenly felt six years old again.  
"Once, just once, do please as I tell you: This is of no, I repeat, no concern to you. Hold your gob."  
Imogen had to swallow as she watched him walk on.  
She had never seen him like that. He had never talked to her like that before. She followed him nonetheless, but kept silent for the rest of the way. They reached the Anchor, and suddenly, Jack seemed hesitating and thoughtful.  
What was the matter?

She patted his shoulder and he looked at her, moving not a muscle in his face. Then he opened the door, and Imogen followed him in two steps distance.  
The landlord of the place looked up as they entered and wrinkled his forehead. „Whadya want, scum?"  
„I have been summoned here", Jack said as nonchalantly as he could.  
"Oh yeah? And by whom?"  
„By…"  
"Me."

„That's her", Imogen whispered, unnecessarily, she realised as she looked at him. Now, it was him that was looking at a ghost, and for the third time, Imogen wondered who she was. The landlord vanished with a grunt.  
Smiling faintly, the lady gestured at them to follow them into the guestroom. There was no one else in at this time of day.  
„So I was right, wasn't I", she said with a smile. „She is your daughter, Jack, isn't she?"  
„She is", Jack said after a moment. „Elizabeth…"  
Imogen looked back and forth between the two, and suddenly her brain made the connection. This must be the woman her mother had been referring to, the one Jack had said didn't exist…

"I'd guess I'd better go then", she said, but Elizabeth stopped her. „Oh please, do me the honour of your company. Won't you introduce her, Jack?"  
Jack shook himself and seemed to wake from a trance.  
„Elizabeth, this is Imogen. My, as you diagnosed so sharp-sightedly, daughter."  
He turned and Imogen saw his eyes were widened in… what? Confusion? Despair? Fear? She was deeply worried and did not know what to do.  
"Imi, this is lady Elizabeth Turner."  
„I am charmed and absolutely delighted", Elizabeth said, then turned to Jack. „You know, there was no mistaking her for someone else. She's got your eyes."  
„Has she", Jack said weakly and tried to smile.

There was silence for a while, a heavy silence, a silence that hung in the air like a foreboding.  
„Jack", Elizabeth said after a while. „I need your help."  
He looked up at her and she chewed her lip for a second before attempting a smile. „Jack, please, I know you have every reason to hate and despise me, but…"  
Jack cut her short with a flick of his hand. „Spare us that. Lizzie. Us both. That was more than twenty years ago."  
She took a deep breath and nodded. „Still, I never…"

"Past", Jack said rather sharply. „I care not to remember it too much, if ye please. What's yer problem?"  
„Billy", she said simply after a moment. „William Turner junior, that is."  
„Turner junior", Jack said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. „And what can I help ye with, then? Has he got lost?"  
„Indeed he has", Elizabeth snapped back, then shook her head. „Jack, please, I know there's a few unresolved issues between us, but I beg you: Help me find him."

Seeing her with that sad, desperate pleading in her eyes, Jack took a deep breath and wondered for a second how his feelings, almost giddy at the thought of seeing her again, had turned into deep distrust and aversion at actually seeing her. Still? After all that time?  
„What's the problem?", he asked, trying to keep his voice more neutral and less hostile.  
„He sailed off almost a year ago", Elizabeth said, staring at her hands. „I begged him not to go, because I was afraid the sea would claim him, as well. Everyone I ever loved in my life had been…"  
"Get to the point", Jack said, but managed to say it gently. Elizabeth sighed and wiped her eyes. „The ship was loaded with tobacco, rum and other wares and bound for New Amsterdam. He was due back six months ago."  
„You do know that the sea…" Jack began and she looked up. The way she stared at him brought him short.  
„I know perfectly well, Jack Sparrow. His ship was due back in time. With half the crew. The other half had been kidnapped during an assault by pirates."

„Oh." Jack leaned back. „I'm beginning to see why ye came to Tortuga, luv."  
"Do you?", She sat upright and swallowed. „Jack. You were the only man I could think of that would be able to find him and bring him back. Please. I beg you. And if that's not enough, I will pay you, as well."  
Jack slowly crossed his arms. Seeing her again after so long a time was a strangely bittersweet experience. Sweet, because he had missed her, actually missed her, although he had never admitted as much, not even to himself.  
And bitter, because of what had happend, and what it had cast between them. Quite often he would have given an arm and a leg to have the easiness back that had been between them on the little island, when it had only been them and a bonfire of rum.

He sighed. A part of him wanted to slit her throat, or at least whack her backside with a belt for what she'd done and had made him do, while another part wanted to throw his arms around her and kiss her until she begged for mercy. With a mental wrench, he slammed a door in the face of these feelings and leaned back.  
„Any useful hints? What was the ship's name?"  
Elizabeth had seen a turmoil going on behind his eyes and for a while, was not sure if he might help her at all. She had never been too sure about it, they never had seen each other again after these fateful events all that time ago.

„The ship he sailed off with is named Pride of London and is a heavy frigate sailing under the English flag. About the pirate ship that attacked them I only know that it had been a man-o-war with a shattered, evil-looking Neptune as a figurehead."  
"Can't say that rings a bell", Jack said, pursing his lips.  
„Please, Jack. Will you accept?"  
"Accept what?"  
„The gold and help me?"

He stared at her under narrowed brows. She must be absolutely desperate if she begged like that. Begging and humbling herself wasn't her style, never had been, and he could see how much it was costing her.  
„All right", he said after a while. „All right, Lizzie, ye got yerself a deal."  
She swallowed. She hadn't even told him off for calling her that, she just forced out a smile and nodded. „Thank you, Jack. I… I can't stay in Tortuga for much longer, but I suppose you will find a way to bring him to Port Royal, somehow."  
"Leave that to me, luv", Jack said and got up. She got up as well and picked up a small bag that was lying beside her. It made the heavy clinking sound of gold.

He raised his eyebrows and was about to reject it, then his pride got the better of him. Not taking the gold would have meant he was risking his neck (again!) to help her just because she was so damn sweet and had these damn beautiful eyes… and he wasn't ready to admit that. He took the gold with a flourish and a grin before waving at Imogen to follow him outside.  
Outside, however, he felt the nagging feeling of having to add something, but in private. He looked up and told Imogen to wait for him.  
"Forgot me hat", he mumbled and went back inside, throwing the gold at Imogen. She caught it, stowed it away and shook her head.

When Jack stepped into the guestroom again, he stopped in the doorframe and cautiously made a step back, peeking round it into the room. She hadn't heard him coming back and was standing next to the table they had been sitting at. She was holding his hat in her hands, turning it endlessly around between her fingers. He lifted one brow, then he realised that the soft noise he had been hearing was coming from her. She was crying.

Jack pursed his lips, thinking of what to do, when she surprised him by putting his hat down on the table and so tenderly running her hand across the rim as if she was caressing a baby. He swallowed as she softly sobbed and wiped her face. Then she turned, and he stepped boldly through the doorframe with a decidedly uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Oh, Lizzie", he said with a forced grin. „I forgot me hat."  
She tried to smile, but wasn't attempting to hide her tears. He walked slowly towards her.  
"Lizzie", he said, much more gently than he had planned to. Damn you. Soft-hearted git.  
She shook her head and looked away. Jack shot a look at his hat, then took a deep breath and stepped around her to look into her face again.  
"A widow?", he asked, and she nodded.  
„Yes."  
"I… I'm sorry to hear that."  
"No, I think you're not, but thank you for trying to be polite."

He was at a loss what to say next and chose to ignore her last remark.  
„When?", he asked. „How?"  
She looked up with haunted eyes. There was a deep, mature, prolonged sorrow in those eyes and Jack had to swallow. „A long time ago", she said, and turned around.  
Jack watched her walk to the window and, trying to keep himself together, crossed his arms and leaned against a wooden partition separating two tables.  
„I waited for him, ten years did I wait. And then, when he finally came back, the curse was broken and he came back to me. The sea had given him back. Or so I had thought."  
She turned around again and Jack felt a little twanging pain to see her look at him like that.

„He died a year later", she said. „He was about to make a trip to England. The ship got into a storm and sank. Everyone on board died. Will died."  
Jack took a deep breath. Suddenly, all the hate and despise that he had felt for her, in addition to anything else he might have felt for her that he didn't care to admit, seemed to be strangely out of place.  
She had made him suffer, true enough. She had driven him insane, had rejected him, and yet had made him help her and sacrifice what he had desired most. And, not to be forgotten, she had killed him. Trying to suppress this particular train of thoughts, he shook himself and made a few steps toward her.

She shrugged. „I guess it seems a fitting punishment. For I killed a man, a friend, out of sheer cold-bloodedness, to save our sorry skins. And so the sea took a man from me in return."  
Jack swallowed. „I don't think it really works like that, Lizzie", he said in a low voice. She looked up and gave him a bitter smile. „Doesn't it? I made a choice in killing you, and while it seemed right at the time, it was wrong. I made another choice later, and…" she broke off.  
"He is dead", she said again. „I waited for him for ten years, and less than a year later, the sea claimed him back forever. And this time, there was no Captain Jack Sparrow around to save his skin again."  
"Indeed not", was all Jack could say.

She didn't answer and turned around again to stare out of the window. Neither of them spoke for a while before she wrapped her arms around her and went on in almost a whisper.  
"I've been suffering for the last ten years, Jack, for I had finally lost the both of you."  
„The both of us?", Jack asked, not sure if he had heard all right, He took two steps towards her but she didn't turn.  
„There have been two men in my life ever since I fell from that fort in Port Royal", Elizabeth said so softly that he had to strain his ears to hear her.

„Two men, like two sides of a coin, Jack. One standing for everything I desired, everything I wished for, untamed wilderness, the sea and freedom. And the other stood for security, for safety, for everything I knew I should be. And I loved Will."  
She turned around again, tears streaming down her face. She wasn't even crying, as such. Her face was a stony mask, but tears were running down her cheeks and dripping from her chin. Jack swallowed again and fought the urge to wipe then back with his hands.  
„I loved Will because he meant these things for me", she went on. „Because I was too afraid of letting go of them to reach for what I so desperately wanted. I loved Will because I didn't dare to love you, Jack."  
Taken completely aback, Jack stared at her for a second before the meaning of her words reached his brain. He took a breath, shook his head, tried to think of something to say and shut his mouth again. She shrugged and walked past him without another word.

Ten minutes later, Jack still stood there and stared at the door that had closed behind her, feeling like a lack wit. Then he finally managed to unfreeze himself, grabbed his hat, rammed it on and walked out of the door.

„So", Imogen said. „What was that all about?"  
„None of your business, Imi."  
„Who is she?"  
Jack stopped and looked down at her. „You want to know who she is?"  
„Indeed I do."  
He nodded and lifted his brows. „I think ye might. I've told ye about the brethren court of the pirates, didn't I?"

Imogen nodded, and watched his face. He grinned sweetly, a sure thing he was going to say something nasty or sarcastic. "She, Imogen Sparrow, is the queen of pirates."  
She furrowed her brow. „Are ye taking me in, Jack?"  
„Why should I try such a flat, obvious bullshit on someone as bright as you?"  
„She is…?"  
"She is."

Imogen shook her head. „What lack wit of a fish head voted for her?", she asked him and Jack's face was suddenly as tight as a soldier's arse.

„That would've been me", he said and set off.


	4. Chapter 4

Insert Standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 4**

Imogen stood there and blinked as she stared after him. Then she shook herself into motion and broke into a run to follow him. „Hey!"

„Jack!", she called, and while he did not stop, he slowed down somewhat so she could catch up. „Sorry Jack, I was… surprised."  
„Yes, and watching yer mouth before something comes out has never been yer strong point."  
"Now guess who I've got that trait from", she snapped back and Jack stopped short, staring down at her.  
Imogen half expected him to slap her, or at least yell at her, but he just stared at her, then shook his head and walked on. Imogen swallowed. "Sorry Jack", she said again. „I didn't mean to…"  
"Forget it", he mumbled.

They settled down in the Drunken Rat again, choosing a table at the rear of the taproom.  
„So what's yer plan, then?", Imogen asked and Jack took a swig out of his bottle and shrugged. „Ask around, to start with. Someone must have heard about a man-o-war with such a figurehead. Once I know the name of the ship, I can find out the captain."  
He leaned back and crossed his legs. „Then it depends", he said, staring thoughtfully into nothing. „Maybe I can buy him off. Maybe I have to think of something. But what I definitely can't do is use force. The Pearl, as lovely and strong as she is, can't take it up with a fully manned man-o-war."

„No", Imogen said. „But what if the Pearl and the Albatross would go together?"  
Jack straightened up again. „Why would ye help me?", he asked and Imogen shrugged with a grin. „'cause I've got a soft spot for ye, Jack", she said, and both grinned.  
„I won't say ye nay", he said. „I'll split the pay with ye."  
"I didn't expect any less", she replied with fluttering eyelids and Jack shook his head. „Sometimes, lass, I realise that ye resemble me more than I care to admit."  
Imogen had to laugh. „Doesn't that make it easier to deal with me? Ye'd know all the time what I'm going to do or say."  
Jack smirked. „Sometimes even works."

„Right then." Imogen leaned back and crossed her legs, a gesture so like one of his that they both grinned again. „Tell me, how did ye come to know such a lady?"  
Jack shook his head and took a rather large swig out of his bottle. „Long, long story."  
"Well, I've got time", she gave back. „I'm dying of curiosity."  
Jack snorted and stared at the ceiling. „It started with me saving her life, and ended, more or less, with her killing me."  
When Imogen lifted one brow, Jack shot her a look with a queer grin. „The bit in between is a bit more complicated", he added and started to tell Imogen of the treasure, the mutiny, the curse, of all the things that had happened.

Around them, the taproom slowly emptied of customers, and even when the landlord closed the bar, Jack and Imogen were still sitting there, the candle on their table the only light in the room.  
When Jack got to the chest of Davy Jones, the rum was gone, but neither of them could be bothered right now with going where they might still get some. It was only when he got to the part with the kraken that Jack faltered.  
Imogen patted his arm. „There's a happy ending coming, isn't there? I mean, here ye sit, telling me all that…"  
"I'll get to the ending, lass. If it's happy or not, albeit, is open to definition."

The brethren court, the battles, the final stand up. William Turner's death. The wedding, and then, the ending that hadn't even concerned him any more.

„He came back, and then died at sea", Jack ended, shaking his head. He was hoarse after so much talking. Imogen stared at him with wide eyes.  
Neither of them said something for quite a while before Imogen cleared her throat. „And that… that lady, Elizabeth…"  
"What about her?"  
„Why…", she tried to form her thoughts into words while chewing her lip. „She is the queen of pirates, and yet she hasn't been at sea since then, has she? Why? Why did she waste her time with sitting in a house like a common… woman?"

A sad smile flickered across Jack's face. „I don't know. But my guess is that she never cared to admit how much of her actually was a pirate. It was more than she wanted to accept. So I guess she tried to turn back into the woman she was before all that happened."  
„That doesn't make any sense. How…"  
"I don't know, Imogen", Jack interrupted her. „Ye'd have to ask her that yerself."

They both fell silent, lost in thoughts. After a while Jack got up and stretched himself. „Time to get some sleep, for what it's worth with the rest of the night. We start asking around tomorrow."  
Imogen agreed and they went upstairs. They shared a room with two beds at opposite ends.  
Jack laid down, but even as he was listening to Imogen's breathing slowing down and deepening, sleep eluded him. All the remembering had agitated him and ruined what little peace of mind was granted to him these days.

So Turner was dead. And had been for a decade. And they had had only that one child, that one boy who was, by now, a man. And she had spend all that time locking herself up in that house of hers, never setting foot on a ship again. Her paleness bespoke all too clearly of a woman who practically never left the house.  
And why? Even if he could guess why, he couldn't understand it.  
And now, today, after having seen her again, he was in turmoil. He wanted to hate her, as he had done for the last twenty years. Or tried to, he corrected himself.

He had talked himself into despising her for what she had done, and now he couldn't hold on to that feeling any more. And it made him livid. He despised himself for that. One smile of her, and here he was back to square one again, thinking of a way to steal another kiss of her.  
Jack tossed around, staring at the wall. The truth was, he had spent as many nights imagining himself killing her as he had imagined himself kissing her. Kissing and…  
He sighed and tossed again. What was the point? She had made it clear once again, today, that there never would be anything to build any hopes on.

Turning on his back, he folded his arms under his head. Hopes. Had he really had hopes? Hopes of changing her mind? Maybe he had. And yet, at the same time he had felt the rage and the frustration of having lost everything he ever wanted when he thought of her.  
And yet, he could never blame her.

She had never forced him. It had always been him making an arse of himself, and the one moment when he should have been wary of her, he had been all too welcoming. Because he had wanted it, that was the point of it all. He had wanted her to kiss him so much that he hadn't lost a second's thought as to where that sudden change of mind had come from.  
So there hardly was anyone else to blame but him, wasn't there? And so it always ended. With him being the idiot. With him making an arse of himself.  
_Maybe instead of thinking about shooting her, I should've been thinking about shooting me all along,_ he thought with a sneer.

He turned again, but by now he was so tired that he slowly sank into oblivion. Yet her face, her grief-stricken eyes and her face, covered in tears, did haunt him in his dreams.

x x x x x x x x

The next morning they agreed to meet again in the Drunken Rat come nightfall and went different ways for the day to try and find something out about the ship.  
Jack was already there and waiting when Imogen came in, dressed as a wench, as he used to think about it. She hurried over and sat down.  
"Neptune's Revenge", the both said simultaneously, and then rolled their eyes.  
„Did ye find out something else?", Jack asked and Imogen shrugged with a grin.  
„Her former name, if that's of any help."  
Jack lifted his brows.  
„I spoke to a crewman of Revenge", Imogen said. „He got off in Tortuga last month and told me he had been a crewman on her when she was still the Jura, he managed to escape and is now trying to get away. She was captured by a crew of pirates and renamed into Neptune's Revenge."  
„What a useless name", Jack said, taking a sip from his bottle.  
"And the name of her captain is Barbossa."

Jack almost spat the rum out again. He stared at her, then remembered to swallow, coughed and swallowed again and slowly straightened up.  
„Tell me you're joking", he said and Imogen shook her head.  
With a groan, Jack buried his head in his arms and sighed. „Why is it always that idiot who crosses my path?" He straightened up again and pursed his lips.  
„To be honest, I think this is causing a major problem", Jack said after a while. „Barbossa is never going to sell that Englishman, and even if it's just because it's me who's doing the asking." He took a swig of rum and shot Imogen a long, thoughtful stare.  
„I could", she said after a moment. „If ye think it's going to help then I'll do the asking."  
„It's definitely not going to help if I do the asking, luv", he said, and Imogen winked at him.

x x x x x x x x

They set sail on the Albatross the next morning, leaving the Black Pearl behind. Barbossa knew that ship, but he wouldn't think anything about the Albatross, so there was a chance they could get close enough to parley.  
„Nice ship", Jack said casually as he sauntered across the deck towards the helm.  
„Thanks", Imogen said. „She doesn't look much, but she has that kind of sleek hull that makes her as fast and nimble as a seal."  
"Could come in handy."  
„I hope it's not necessary", she gave back. „I hadn't had the resources yet to equip her fully with canons."  
„That is definitely not coming in handy", Jack remarked dryly, and Imogen shot him a glance.  
"Don't worry", he then said with a bright smile. "We'll think of something."  
Imogen cocked an eyebrow and looked at him. Jack shrugged and smiled.  
„We have to find them first, anyway", she said and went to take the helm. Jack followed her and stood behind her, watching the deck.

„So which one of these bloody heathens if yer first mate, luv?"  
Imogen smirked and shot him a look over her shoulder. „I don't have a first mate at this precise moment."  
„Why is that so, pray?"  
„Unfortunately", Imogen said, turning the wheel slightly, „he had an unhealthy notion about making advances on his captain."  
„No way."  
„Oh yes. He kept coming into my cabin at night. I told him off two times."  
"And the third time?"  
„I shot him dead."  
„Oh."

Imogen flashed him a grin that could be called sweet, if you didn't look too closely. Jack did, however, and the first thing that came to his mind was a shark. A shark kind of grins, as well. Shortly before he swallows you, you see all his shiny teeth.

„And it happened to happen a day before I ran into you", she went on. „So I haven't appointed a new one yet. Fancy the job?" She winked at him and Jack lifted one eyebrow.  
„And take orders from you?" They both laughed and Jack slapped her back. „I'd rather be a captain in me own rights and remain an honoured guest."  
Imogen chuckled. „Why are ye not in yer cabin, then?"  
„I need the fresh air."  
"Waiting for the moment where ye can point out what I'm doing wrong?"  
Jack flashed her a grin. „Oh, darling, I think ye're past that age now."  
She turned and lifted her brows. „D'ye think so?"  
His eyes glinted and he winked. „At least where I can say that without clutching a part of me body in pain afterwards."  
Imogen threw her head back and laughed. Still grinning, Jack walked down towards the bow and left the helm to her.

Staring into the waves under him, he realised that indeed, his baby was a grown woman now. Time had passed so fast, in a way. She had just been weaned when he had fetched her from her mother's house, and he still could vividly remember the first wobbly steps she had taken on deck. It seemed strangely unreal that she should, all of a sudden, have turned into a murderous pirate as he was, but the evidence was clear before his eyes.

_Well, what did ye expect would become of her, growing up on a pirate's ship_, he told himself. But he had to smile nonetheless. He felt much more comfortable in her presence as it was than he would ever have been able to if she was a… a woman like… He sighed angrily.  
A woman like any woman living in Port Royal, for example. Just a woman like any woman. _She_ certainly wasn't like any other woman, although, for some reason, she tried all she could to seem like one. But now, watching Imogen stand at the helm swearing at her crew, he began to see why. She could never have led these lives together.

She was a woman, had that house, that husband, and at the same time, was a pirate. Two lives indeed. Faced with a choice, she had chosen the life she was leading now. She had promised Will to wait for him and had, meekly and numbly, sat in that house for ten years for him to come back. And later?  
He propped his elbows onto the railing. He doubted that with Will still alive, she would have turned back. He would have made sure she wouldn't. And with Will dead, she had grown bitter and turned away from the sea forever.

And here he was now. Hadn't he always wanted for a chance? For Will stepping out of the picture to have his chance? It seemed far too late for that now. Maybe it was. But thinking of all that had happened, it could well be it had always been too late.

Two sides of a coin. So he and William Turner were two sides of a coin for her. She had chosen one side of the coin, and it hadn't been his.

But what do you do when you choose the side of a coin and find out, after flipping it, that the side it's coming up with is blank?


	5. Chapter 5

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 5**

It took them almost a month before their search was rewarded with success. They had cruised the Caribbean Sea in a wide zigzag for weeks, always in search for the man-o-war on the horizon.

Jack stared through the spyglass and finally could make out the bow. He couldn't quite clearly see the figurehead yet, but it might have been a Neptune. He slowly let the spyglass sink as the ship suddenly turned and headed towards them.  
„They've seen us", Jack said to Imogen. She nodded and spun the wheel to bring her full into the wind, heading for a rendezvous, while Jack, as had been agreed, went under deck. He didn't want Barbossa to see him as not to ruin their chances of success. With Barbossa, they were as meagre as it was to begin with.

When they were close enough to make out details of the ship, Imogen had the flag of parley flown on the top mast. She watched the man-o-war with clenched jaws, hands tightly gripping the spokes, until finally, they responded by flying the flag as well. She let her breath out in a long huff. They would never have survived a stand-off.  
Bringing the Albatross alongside the Neptune's Revenge, Imogen send out one last prayer to whoever would care to listen that Barbossa would take the parley seriously.

A rope ladder was thrown down from the larger ship, and Imogen looked up, saw a sailor wave at her and started to climb.  
She had a look around when she jumped down on the deck of the man-o-war. She was more than twice the size of the Albatross and likely had three times as many canons. She definitely had three times the crew, Imogen realised.

„Welcome aboard", a voice boomed out behind her and she turned to look into the bearded face of the captain. „Barbossa's the name."  
„Captain Barbossa", Imogen said. „I'm Imogen. I'm the captain of the Albatross."  
"Captain?", Barbossa said, and when Imogen narrowed her brows, he chuckled.  
„Captain ye are, lass", he said with a feisty grin. „Charmed, I'm sure. What brings you onto my ship?"  
„I'm looking for a man."

He lifted one eyebrow and Imogen rolled her eyes. „I'm looking for a specific man. I heard he was… hired by you a while ago from an English merchant."  
„Hired", grinned Barbossa. „Nicely put."  
„I'd like to have him back, if ye please, captain", Imogen said, trying to keep calm. This man was making her livid.  
„What makes ye think I'd give him to ye?"  
„Well, I believe every man has his price", Imogen said slowly and crossed her arms. Then she lifted her eyebrows with a smile and waited.  
„We'll talk about the price", Barbossa said. „What's his name?"  
„Billy Turner", Imogen said and hoped he was still alive. Barbossa waved at two men of his crew who were standing beside her. They walked off and shortly after that came back with a young man between them. He was walking with a heavy limp and had the unhealthy colour of a man in fever.

„Billy!", Imogen cried and ran towards him, threw her arms around him and kissed him. „Oh Billy, thank god ye're still alive!" She kissed him again and pressed her cheek against his. „Don't be stupid, I'm here to get ye out."  
She leaned back and smiled at him, and he stared at her, stupefied, his hands on her hips. She smiled and kissed him again.  
„What about the others?", he whispered and she pressed herself closely to him. „No chance"; she whispered. „We've been send to get you. Ye can come back for them if ye like, later." She broke free from her embrace and turned around to face Barbossa again. „I'd like to have my man back, if ye please. What's the price?"

Barbossa put one forefinger across his lips. „How much is he worth to ye, lass?"  
Imogen stemmed her fists into her sides. „Quite a lot", she said pointedly, and Barbossa grinned. „That much?"  
"I'll not say gladly", she snapped back. „But I'll pay any price ye set me."  
Barbossa shot her a long, thoughtful stare, then waved her over and beckoned her to follow into the cabin. Shaking her head, Imogen followed with a sigh.  
He gestured towards a chair and Imogen sat down, watching uneasily as he took a flagon of wine and two glasses from a cupboard, then he filled both glasses with a flourish and offered one to her. She took it with as sweet a smile as she could muster.

"Let's discuss the price without being disturbed", he said slowly and took a sip. „But firstly, let me say that you look oddly familiar, have we met before?"  
Imogen groaned. „Not again", she said, and Barbossa lifted his brows.  
"Whad'ye want?", she asked. „If I look familiar, then ye must know why, no?"  
„Do you know a Jack Sparrow?", Barbossa asked and Imogen rolled her eyes.  
„Yes. Have a guess."  
„He's yer father."  
„Sharp-sighted."  
„Where is he now?", he asked, leaning forward.  
„I don't know. Where should I know that from?"

He gave her a long look and weighed his head. „You know", he said conversationally, „I seem to have made a lucky grab in recruiting from that precise ship. Don't think I wouldn't ask my crew for their names."  
„Ye've lost me there", Imogen said, feeling something cold crawl down her spine.  
"Ye see, I've got eyes in me head, lass. So I had a closer look at this crewman William Turner, and ye know what? He looked oddly familiar as well. Just like you did."  
Imogen raised her brows, taking a sip of her wine. _Damn it all. Damn it damn it damn it._  
„Ye seem oddly untalkative, lass. Nothing to say?"  
„Nothing of use."  
„Wisely. Ye're not as alike to yer father as I had thought, then."  
„What d'ye want?", Imogen asked again.  
"She did send ye to bring him back, didn't she?"  
„No idea what ye're talking about."

„Stop playing silly buggers with me, lass", Barbossa said, raising his voice. „He is on your ship, and ye can either bring him over, or I'll sink her and wait till he comes afloat." Then he grinned. „And if he doesn't, I'll apologize and ye can join my crew."  
Imogen clenched her jaws, but she was clearly at a disadvantage.  
„I'll wait here", he said jovially and folded his hands across his belly.  
Imogen put down her glass and got up in one motion, then stormed out of the cabin. She was sure she heard Barbossa chuckle behind her back.  
_Damn it all to hell._

x x x x x x x x

„So, Jack, my old friend, we finally meet again."  
„The pleasure is all mine", Jack said with a bright grin.  
Barbossa grinned and gestured at a chair. Jack said down and watched Barbossa walk around the table and rummage around in a chest.  
„Ah, here it is." He turned and came back to where Jack was sitting, slamming a piece of parchment on the table before him.

"Ah, that looks familiar, it does", Jack said with a sinking heart.  
„I thought it might", Barbossa replied. „Where's the real map, Jack?"  
„That, believe it or not, is the real map."  
Jack had underestimated him. Before he had even time to blink, Barbossa had jerked him out of the chair and was pressing a knife to his throat. „Stop bullshitting with me, Sparrow. I never should have made the deal with you in the first place, knowing you. A ship against a forged map… ye must've laughed all the way home."

„It's not forged", Jack croaked, trying not to swallow. The blade of the knife was already nicking his skin. „D'ye think I'd think ye such an idiot? I thought ye knew I'd knew ye better." Barbossa stared at him for a second before slowly removing the knife. „I want the map. And I want it now."  
„Ye already have it, mate", Jack said.  
Barbossa took a deep breath, grinned sweetly and then rammed his knee into Jack's lower body. He doubled over, gasping for air, and Barbossa let go of him to watch him slowly topple down to his knees.  
„That… wasn't…. called for…", Jack gasped, trying to keep upright. He looked at Barbossa who grinned and rammed his fist into Jack's face, making him fall over. Cursing, Jack tried to scramble to his feet again and froze in mid-move when he heard the sound of a pistol being cocked.  
„Barbossa", he said slowly without turning. „This is the real map, I swear. And if ye had let me finish talking before kicking my balls out of my ears, I could've told ye how to read it."

„Why didn't ye say so?", Barbossa said with a hearty grin and stuck the pistol back into his belt again. Jack slowly laboured himself onto his feet again and gingerly touched his temple. His fingers were sticky, the eyebrow was split. Already he could see and feel the swelling.  
„Yea, sorry 'bout that", Barbossa said. „Now, back to the map."  
Jack sighed and shook his head. „D'ye have a mirror?"  
„A mirror?" Barbossa slowly walked round the table again to stand before Jack. „What'dye need a mirror for? See if ye're kohl is still in place?"  
Jack flashed him a grin and snorted. „Ye need a mirror for the map, mate." Barbossa lifted one eyebrow. „Ye see, I thought since I figured it out by meself that ye must look at the map in a mirror then you would, as well."

„Ye could have told me that, ye double-crossing bastard."  
"I forgot", Jack said, trying to grin. Barbossa sighed, shook his head and planted his fist right into Jack's face. He could see it coming, but being a bit groggy from the two hits before, he couldn't react. Barbossa's fist met his nose with a crunch and a splatter of blood and Jack stumbled back with a groan, clutching his face with both hands. „Will ye stop that", he growled in a muffled voice.  
"Just you stop trying to be clever", Barbossa said coldly. „A mirror, yes?" He went over to another chest, opened it and took a small mirror out. He came back to the table, ignored Jack's quiet swearing and held the mirror over the map.

„I see", he said then. „Clever." Then he straightened up again with a friendly smile that didn't reach his eyes. „Well, I do apologize, Jack. It seems I had the real map all along, just due to a minor oversight on your side, I couldn't read it properly. Sorry about yer nose."  
Jack shot him a poisonous glance and took his hands from his face. They were covered in blood, as was half of his shirt. „Silly ol' me", he muttered. „Forget me own head next."  
„Don't forget yer hat, neither", Barbossa said and picked it up. Jack wordlessly jerked it out of his hands and walked past him towards the door. But as he laid his hand on the handle, Barbossa called out to him again.

„Sparrow."  
Jack stopped. „What is it, mate?"  
„It's twenty doubloons."  
Jack stared at the door, then blinked. „For the whelp?"  
„The very same. That's my price."  
With a sigh, Jack turned and looked at Barbossa sitting at the table, filling a glass of wine from the flagon. „Or, if ye prefer, I accept payment in kind. Yer daughter certainly is a sweet lass, and such a spirited creature…" He broke off as he saw Jack's face go white with fury and grinned.

„Don't ye dare", Jack said. „Keep yer filthy paws off her."  
„Protective, are ye? Well, I am sure in that case, ye've made sure that I indeed, have the right map with complete, and I repeat, complete instructions as how to read it. I might be inclined, otherwise, to ask her about it, just to make sure."  
"She knows nothing about the map", Jack said, feeling his heart start to race.  
"No, she doesn't likely know anything about the map", Barbossa said coldly. „But you do, Sparrow, and I am just making sure that you do, indeed, remember everything of relevance. Aye? Forgotten anything by chance?"  
Jack swallowed. _Bastard,_ he thought_. I'll get ye for this, one day_. „No", he said.  
Both men stared at each other, then Barbossa started to grin. „Brilliant. Would be a shame if I'd have to break yer daughter's nose as well to make ye remember a deal."  
„Not necessary", Jack said toneless and opened the door. „I'll get yer money."

Imogen stood on deck, flanked by two burly men holding on to each of her arms. She gasped when she saw him. „My god, Jack…"  
„Could've been worse", Jack mumbled and took the bag from her belt that she had stored there. She wasn't too sure what to reply to this and watched Jack walk back towards the cabin. Babrossa came out before he reached the door and hooked his thumbs into his belt.  
„Here", Jack said, throwing the bag at his feet. „It's more than twenty, but I can't be bothered counting right now. Permission to go from board, captain?" He spat the last word out and crossed his arms. Barbossa grinned and indicated with a movement of his head at his guards to step aside. „Granted", he said. „Let them go. All three of them."  
Imogen let her breath escape in a long huff. „Come on", she said and grabbed Bill by the arm. He followed her reluctantly, glancing back across his shoulder several times before he was, due to the bandage around his calf, manhandled down the rope ladder.

As soon as they were back onboard the Albatross again, Imogen gave orders to set full sails and told one of her crewmen to take the helm and head for Port Royal. The Albatross leaned gracefully into the wind and set off, leaving the hulk of the man-o-war behind. Everyone breathed in relief when it was clear that the other ship was not going to follow them nor see them off with a farewell present of a dozen cannonballs.  
„But… but what about the others? We can't just leave them there!", Bill Turner cried as they sailed off. Imogen shot him a look.  
"We can, and we will. How's a ship like the Albatross going to take it up against a fully manned and armed man-o-war?"  
„But…"  
„No but, mate. Be serious. Man a ship and come back with a navy fleet, if ye like."  
Bill shook his head and sat down on a coil of rope, grimacing with pain.

Imogen looked at him, then at Jack who was still gingerly clutching his nose, then back at Bill again. „Come with me, the both of ye", she said to Bill as much as to Jack. „I'll patch ye up."

x x x x x x x x

In her cabin, she told Bill to lie down on the bed and her father to sit down on a chair. She fetched a bowl of water and some cloth, sat down opposite Jack and started with washing the blood from his face. „What a bilge rat. What did he have to go and do that for?"  
Jack grimaced as she cleaned the gash in his eyebrow. „I forgot a detail of a thing I sold him."  
„Did ye?", she replied and leaned back to look at him. He avoided her eyes and she narrowed hers.  
„He stole me ship, and I had the map", Jack said after a while. „When we met again, I traded him the map for the ship, but forgot to tell him ye'd have to look at the map in the mirror."  
„What map?" She took his chin and turned his head to look at the cut. „Doesn't need stitching."  
„The map", Jack said reluctantly, „that shows where to find the aqua de vida."  
Imogen raised one brow. „You have…"  
„I had."  
„Ye've traded… the aqua de vida… for a ship?"

„No." Jack looked at her again through half-closed eyes. The black eye that was beginning to show made this look rather sinister. „I traded a map about the whereabouts of aforementioned aqua de vida for a ship. My ship."  
Imogen was silent for a time while, looking at him. Then she took up the cloth again and wiped it gently across his nose and chin. „Did ye find it?", she asked, and a corner of Jack's mouth twitched. „Ye know me well, lass."  
„Did ye?"  
„Yes, I did."  
She let her hand sink again and stared at him, but he just shrugged. „I didn't drink it, though."  
„Not?"  
He shook his head, and Imogen blinked. Did he look… remorseful? Or just sad? „Why?"

Jack shrugged. „I was about to. But then I heard a voice, and it told me that everything has a price. And it asked if I was sure I was willing to pay the price for what I wanted." He fell silent, and Imogen watched him closely. „Did it say what the price was?", she asked softly, and without looking at her, Jack smiled ruefully.  
"No", he said after a moment. „It didn't. And there I was, and didn't dare. All of a sudden, after I had been so sure I would give everything and pay everything to get my hands at it… I couldn't. I was a coward. I couldn't imagine what the price for something so valuable must be. Yes", he added and looked at Imogen again. „I'm not only a double-crossing, deceiving, lying bastard, I'm also a coward." He looked dow again and Imogen sighed. She put a hand under his chin, lifted his head and gently wiped her cloth across his nose and lips.

„Maybe ye were, just once in yer life, being a wise man, dad."  
„D'ye think so?" He looked up and she shrugged.  
„I do. It's a bit risky to agree to pay without knowing the price. And in this case, ye can bet yer arse that it's going to be a high price, indeed."  
Jack nodded, looking relieved. „And no turning back on that deal, either."  
Imogen smiled as she ran a finger down the bridge of his nose. „Not broken", she declared. „Do you regret it?" She looked into his eyes and this time, he didn't look away.  
„No", he said. „For some reason, I was, and still am, pretty sure that the price is one I'm not willing to pay, no matter what it's worth."  
With a sigh, Jack stood up, and Imogen put her bowl down and stood up, as well.  
"Thank ye", Jack said. „Ye've got some gentle hands for a woman who shoots her suitors dead." He winked at her, making her grin.  
„Oh, I don't know", she said. „I seem to have a soft spot for ye." They exchanged a smile, then Jack leaned forward and pulled her into an embrace.  
„Getting soppy with yer old age?", Imogen asked and he stepped back and shook his head with a half-way grin. „Annoying pest."


	6. Chapter 6

Insert standart disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 6**

Imogen shook her head with a grin as she stepped back and turned around to have a look at Bill Turner's leg. He stared at her uncomfortably under narrowed brows.  
„Why me", he asked as she sat down on the bed next to him. „Why no one else?"  
She shrugged. „Because we've been send to get you, lad, not the whole crew. No way we could've bought half the crew of Barbossa."  
He shook his head and swallowed, closing his eyes as if the effort of shaking his head had worn him out already. „We can't just leave them there", he said again. „We can't! We have to go back and find a way…"  
"Will ye stop that?", Imogen interrupted him. „Stop ranting and start seeing sense, mate. That ship is twice the size of this, has three times the crew and three times as many canons."  
"But…"  
„Stop it, mate", Jack fell in, walking up beside Imogen. „Once ye're back, go to the navy, man a fleet, and go after them. We can't. We'd be sunk as soon as we get into her sight again." He gave Bill a long stare and the young man fell back with a groan.

"Why me", he said then. „Why just me?"  
„Because we've been sent to get ye", Imogen said again.  
"By whom?"  
„Yer mommy, lad", Jack said, feeling irirtated. „She's afraid ye might get yer breeches dirty."  
Bill narrowed his eyes and looked from Imogen to Jack and back. „My mother?"  
„Something wrong with yer ears, lad? Yes, yer mother. She's asked me to bring ye back home." Jack flashed him a grin that was as much ironic as it was unpleasant.

With his eyes still narrowed, he tilted his head. „Sir, I'm sure it's not my fault that you have received a beating from that vile man. I neither know you nor have I ever asked to be rescued." He crossed his arms and Jack's smile vanished.  
„No, ye're probably right", he said. „But it would suit ye to employ a bit more brain before talking. Ye seem to have the same stupid streak of silly so-called honour in yer soul than yer father had. Ye'd never knew when he was going to do something incredibly stupid."  
„I thank ye not to insult my father, sir", Bill said, trying to prop himself up. „Who are you, anyway, to speak to me in such a manner?"  
„It would suit you, as well", Jack said, crossing his arms, „To remember who got you out there. Want me to bring ye back?"

Bill fell back with an exasperated sigh. „I don't know what happened between you and my father, since you seem to know him. But I can assure you, that wasn't my fault, either. And besides, you could let the matter rest my now. Whatever grudge you bear against him, and the way you talk, I am sure he had every reason to upset you, you can now forget it. He's dead."  
„I know he's dead, whelp", Jack said with a sneer. „But he surely left his imprint on his offspring."  
„What are you? One of the pirates he fought against?"  
„Against and with, whelp", Jack gave back.

Bill paled visibly and shrunk back. "A pirate? Why should my mother even speak to someone such as you? Who are you, and what do you really want of me?"  
„I am Captain Jack Sparrow. Has she ever used my name in your presence?"  
„No, she hasn't. And I can't say blame her. What have you done to her?"  
"It it so", Jack said with ice in his voice, „that I happened to have saved her life. Strangely, all she had ever for me was contempt, but that seems to be a family trait, since you happily carry on with that glorious tradition!" With these words, he stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door shut behind him.

„A pirate ship", he muttered, and looked at Imogen again who still sat on his bed, pinching the back of her nose in exasperation. „So what are you going to do with me?"  
Imogen sighed. „At first, I'm going to have a look at yer leg. Then I'll probably be pretty much occupied with keeping you two from each other's throat." She leaned over Bill's leg and had a look at the clumsy, dirty bandage.  
"Where are we heading?", Bill asked, and Imogen picked at one edge of the grimy cloth. „Port Royal", she said.  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
„Why should I?", Imogen gave back. „That was the deal. Find ye, bring ye back home. That's all there is to it."  
"But why? Where does my mother know such a vile scumbag from?"

Imogen slowly lifted her face to look at him. „He told ye that, mate", she said coldly, but her expression seemed lost on Bill. „I still don't believe you", he muttered. „My mother is a honourable women and would never consider talking to such as him…"  
„Maybe she was desperate enough and didn't trust the navy to have enough success. Or the navy didn't think one man worth rescuing." She inspected the bandage again, it didn't come loose. Maybe soaking it would help… or maybe she should just let him rot.

Bill was silent for a while and then sighed. „Well, in any case, you can tell your captain that I am more than glad he rescued me and will be even more glad when I can get of his ship in Port Royal, if that is indeed where we are headed."  
„We are", Imogen said, getting up. She began to understand where that aversion was coming from, if it had originated in the lad's father and he was alike to him. „And he is not my captain."  
Bill gave her a puzzled look and blinked, and Imogen flashed him a sweet smile. „I am the captain of this ship, and I offered him my ship to look for you because Barbossa knows his. But I will certainly tell my father you changed your mind about thanking him."  
At least now, he had the decency to blush. His face went crimson and he swallowed. „Your… father?"

Imogen smirked.  
„I… I am sorry, I didn't…"  
„Save yer breath", she said. „We're both pirates. Scumbags, if ye like. Peas in a pod, aye?"  
With that, she got up to get some more water and left him lying on her bed, wincing in shame.

x x x x x x x x

Elizabeth stood on the balcony that overlooked the city, the harbour and the whole bay beyond. She hadn't done so in years and realised that some things had changed during that time. Some buildings were gone, others had been erected. But the harbour and the bay still looked the same.

She held on to the rail made of finely wrought iron, staring out at the sea beyond the bay. She hadn't been on a ship ever since she had stepped ashore twenty years ago. Never again had she been at sea. She had tried to forget about it, but looking at it now, at the endless blue waves lapping at the shore, she had the feeling that the sea had not forgotten about her. She should never have sailed to Tortuga, she thought. She should never have gone back on a ship, feel the wind again, smell the salt and feel the spray on her skin. She should have let the feeling buried, but now she had rekindled a longing that she had managed to suppress for two decades.

Yet she had seen no other way. No captain she had spoken to, navy or merchant, had had anything other than contempt or ridicule for her plea, so she had finally accepted the fact that she had to try and find Jack, not even knowing by then if he was still alive. She admitted he had been her last choice. The last thing she had wanted was to encounter a living, vivid reminder of her own past, but she hadn't had a choice. Get a thief to catch a thief, she thought. Get a pirate to catch a pirate.

With a rueful smile she shook her head when she thought about the weird twist of fate that had made her run into his daughter instead of him.  
His daughter. That had been her first, instant thought when she had seen that woman, there had been no mistaking her for something else. There, for a split second, she had actually thought she had found him before her brain registered the female clothing.  
She had not really quite believed she would truly see him again, and had been surprised when he had actually stood before the door of the inn. She had even been more surprised at her own reaction to this.

_I have made the wrong choice._

That had been her first thought at the sight of him. All the time during the last twenty years, she had dutifully led her life as she knew she was supposed to and had even made herself believe it was what she had wanted. Had spend the first ten years in waiting, the next ten years in grieving. She had made an oath to Will to remain true and had meant it. And now, with seeing him, she suddenly didn't mean it any more. Suddenly, all the carefully arranged and nourished beliefs of her life had crumbled to dust in one, single moment. In a blink of an eye. His eyes.

He had not changed at all. All he seemed was a bit matured, although not necessarily more mature. His eyes were still the same, and suddenly, looking into his eyes again, she had looked into a window into the past and seen all that that could have been, had she made different choices. Choices she had never thought of again came back to haunt her. So many moments where she could have done one thing but had done another. So many moments where she should have said something and remained quiet. So many countless moments where she should have been quiet and said something wrong.

All that had suddenly sprung back to life in her mind at seeing him again. But that was all so long ago now. Twenty years or more. There was no undoing of what she had done, no unsaying of what she had said. She wiped a tear from her eye. Regret. No longer crying from grief and loneliness, she now cried from regrett.

Seeing him again had unearthed so many dreams that had been buried deep in her soul, but it had unearthed them shrivelled and dead. It was too late. Thinking back on what had been, it could well be it had always been too late after that first chance of...

It had certainly been too late after…

_After I killed him, face it. No denying that._

And now, twenty years later, without a so much as a by-your-leave, she had come as suddenly back into his life as she had left it. She had seen the turmoil of feeling in his eyes as she had asked him for help, and for a while, had not been sure if he would help her at all. Why he had, in the end, was something only he knew. It was certainly not for good old times' sake neither was it because he needed to return a favour.

Well, he had taken the gold. At least she wasn't so much out of his favour that he didn't considered her worth making a deal with.  
_Which puts you into the same category as Barbossa and Davy Jones, isn't that nice,_ she thought with a wry smile.

She would only know if she ever had the guts to ask him. If she would ever see him again. He hadn't looked as if he was particularly delighted in seeing her in the first place. He would likely just drop Billy off at the shore and be on his way again. But maybe he wouldn't. She remembered all too well how he had looked at her when she had told him she had never dared to love him.  
Shaking her head, she gripped the railing so hard that her knuckles went white. Where on earth that had come from was a complete mystery to her. She hadn't even consciously thought that phrase through before her ears had heard her saying it.

She stared out at the sea, letting the breeze dry her tears. Maybe he would come back. Maybe he would come back if only to ask her again what that had been about. He was that kind of man. Or he had been, at least. Time changes many things. Time heals many things. And time brings out so many things that you never knew existed. She closed her eyes and conjured up a memory from long ago. Two men, as differently as they could be. Two sides of a coin, indeed. A coin always has two sides, and you will always have to choose one.

But what if you discover after flipping it that both sides show the same?

x x x x x x x x

Bill was still glowing red when Imogen came back with another bowl of water. He propped himself up when she entered the cabin.  
"Look, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to insult anyone…"  
"Ye were very successful, nonetheless"; Imogen said dryly as she put down the bowl next to his leg. He winced again.  
„Look, please, I know I shouldn't have said that. I know you saved me and I am grateful beyond words to express it. It's just…"  
Imogen raised her brow and he swallowed, then let himself fall back.

„I'm in a hell of pain", he said softly. „My leg's on fire, has been for weeks. It's just… sometimes… sometimes I just can't think straight…"  
Imoge sighed. He really meant what he was saying, it seemed. Pursing her lips, she put a moist piece of cloth on the bandage to soften it up, and even that light touch made him wince. She looked at his face, at the leg, and back at his face again.  
"How did that happen?" she asked and he took a deep breath. „It was the fight when we lost against the pirates", he said.. „It was a shallow gash, and it started to heal for the first weeks. Then the wound started to break open and the leg started to swell…"  
"I see", Imogen said.  
„I will loose the leg", he said in a hollow voice as he looked at her.  
„I'm going to be honest", Imogen said. „I don't know. I can try and help ye, but I don't know if what I know is enough."  
„I'll thank you even for trying", Bill said and tried to smile.

Giving him an encouraging smile, Imogen put another moist rag on the bandage and got up again. „I'll let that soak", she explained.  
He nodded and then looked away, licking his lips.  
„Is there something else?", she asked and he shot her a glance and smiled a little sheepishly. „I don't even know your name", he said.  
„Imogen."  
"Imogen", he repeated. „Thanks for getting me out of there. And if you could, maybe, ask your father to… to come and see me again, so I can…"  
"I'll get him", she said, and walked out of the door with a queer feeling she could not name. Maybe it was worry about having to cripple him in order to save his life. It seemed a shame. Under all that dirty, unkempt, unshaven appearance he seemed to be a nice enough guy.

If he made the effort of using his brain before speaking.

x x x x x x x x

Feeling uneasy about himself more than Bill, Jack slowly opened the cabin door and closed it softly again behind him. It had even surprised himself how strongly his feelings for William Turner had influenced his own behaviour towards his son. After all, he had to admit, a father's deed were not the son's fault. Something he was not accustomed to, gnawed at him. What was it? Regret? No, even if he regretted, in a way, what he had said, it didn't quite qualify. It was something different.

Shame. He was ashamed. Ashamed of himself at how he had used Bill as an outlet for all his frustration about the lad's father. He scratched his chin. And what had made him feel like this? He was not a man prone to feel such things. It was…  
He sighed as he walked up to the bed, looking in Bill's nervously smiling face. It was what Barbossa had made him see. Blaming Bill for his father's faults was not really better than breaking a girl's nose because her father had upset you.

He sat down on the chair next to the bed and stared down at Bill.  
„Captain", he began. „I'd like to tell you how much I regret my earlier words…"  
Jack waved that aside, not knowing what to say. Just a moment ago he had felt remorse for hating him, and as soon as the lad started talking he hated him already again, this time for making him feel like that. Bastard, he thought. It's no one but yerself making ye feel like that. Making an arse of yerself again, Jack Sparrow.  
„I can assure ye we both probably did not mean everything as it came out", he said at least. It was true, and it felt better than apologies. He hated apologizing. It meant actually admitting that he was wrong, and he was never wrong. Well, heck, sometimes he was, but he never cared to admit it.

Bill nodded. „I'm grateful you see it that way. And I am grateful you got me out of there. But let me be honest."  
"I ask ye to", Jack said with a cocked eyebrow. Bill smiled thinly.  
„I still feel uneasy in your presence. To be perfectly honest, the only time in my life I ever saw a pirate up close was to see him dangle from the gallows."  
"A place where, in your opinion, as I may guess, a pirate doubtlessly belongs", Jack gave back and Bill shrugged.  
„I was brought up knowing pirates are the bane of the sea."  
"Oh, but we are, Billy. We are", Jack said with a bright, glittering smile. „We capture ships, kill the crew, sink the ships, sell the stolen goods. Sometimes, we don't kill the crew but sell them as slaves. We're a dangerous lot."

Bill snorted softly under his breath. „Doubtlessly. But you, at least, mut be a bit of an exception to the rule, otherwise my mother would never have asked for your help."  
Jack gave him a queer look and crossed his arms. „Maybe." _You're a good man, Jack_.  
„Is it true that you saved her life?" _I am not sorry, Jack.  
_„Indeed I did", was all he wanted to say right now._ Pirate_.

Bill was silent for a minute, leaving Jack alone with unpleasant memories. When he spoke again, Jack almost flinched at the sound of his voice, so lost had he been in his thoughts.  
„Captain Sparrow, can you tell me something about my father?"  
Jack blinked. „Ye surely don't expect me to tell ye some fairytales from the past?"  
Bill shook his head. „No, I've heard enough of those for the whole of my life. You are the first person I've ever met in my life that didn't speak in praise of him. It had made me suspicious, the way people alway talked about him. As if they had felt the need to conceal something. What was he like? I mean, really like?"

Jack leaned back, taken a little aback. He couldn't possibly just tell Bill all he felt, all he still felt for William Turner although he was dead long since. What had he been like? Apart from the fact that… that he had won the woman they both had wanted? His mother?  
His mother. He had, in all his ranting about William Turner, simply forgotten the simple fact that while Bill Turner certainly was William Turner's son, he was although Elizabeth's. Which meant, of course, that Will, that stupid eunuch, no, that wasn't called for, was it, since here his son sat, all right, the whelp, had done to Elizabeth what he, Jack Sparrow, had never been allowed to do.  
Better not tell him that, he thought with a mental sneer. Better not tell him he had tried more than once advances on his mother. And had, once, actually kissed her… and she had gone with Will instead, which now had led to that whelp lying here on the bed, staring at him and wanting to hear tales about his daddy.

The whelp… he was a grown man, and here Jack was still thinking about his mother as the spirited, fey creature he had known all these years ago. He had to actually force his thoughts back from that particular topic. Thinking about Elizabeth happened on it's own, while thinking about the… about Will required some concentration.

„He was", Jack began, trying to phrase it carefully. „He was a simple mind."  
Bill raised his eyebrows.  
"He wasn't stupid", Jack quickly went on, crossing his arms. „He was rather clever. But he was a little too clever sometimes. He thought that all the while his way of thinking was the right one. Sometimes it was." He smirked with a shrug. „Sometimes, it wasn't." Jack stretched out his legs before him. „His way of thinking was very… simple, that was what I meant. He thought in black and white, in good and bad. There were good people and bad people, the right things to do and the wrong things to do. He never would accept that people were sometimes a bit of both, and that sometimes, you have to do a wrong thing to reach a good end."

He was pleased with himself. He had actually said his opinion about him without making it sound as if he still hated him. Which he did of course. Well, maybe not hate. Just dislike. He had never hated William Turner. The man had just exasperated him.  
„You weren't friends, were you", Bill said with a ghost of a smile.  
„No", Jack replied. „But he never tried to kill me, even after I had tricked him. He just knocked me out with an oar once."  
Bill fell back with a tiny smile. „Thank you", he said. „Thank you for making my father more of a human man than a glowing figurehead of prudence and virtue. In people's tales, he was always the perfect figure of gallantry and honour. Maybe as not to upset mother. But your tale has made him somewhat human to me."

Jack slowly got up. Having done ye a favour in telling yer dad was a stupid lout, yes?, he thought. And aloud he said „Well, nobody is all he first seems. But that was what yer father never accepted. That there's grey between black and white." With that, he left the cabin before he said something really stupid.  
Bill watched him leave and sighed. Maybe he could get on somewhat better terms with that man. Maybe he could learn what had happened. Maybe he could learn why his mother had never talked about his father to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Insert standart disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 7**

Imogen saw Jack leave her cabin and walk right away to the bow to stare straight ahead into the endless horizon. Shaking her head, she went back into the cabin, trying to make sense of all that. It seemed clear, to her at least, that Jack was absolutely torn. But torn between what, she could only guess. Yet as her eyes fell on Bill again, lying with a deeply furrowed brow and closed eyes on the bed, she had to shove these thoughts aside and concentrate on more pressing matters.

The lad was in fever, and might yet die of a blood poisoning.  
He did neither move nor open his eyes when Imogen sat down on the bed next to him and removed the moist cloth she had put on the bandage. She picked at it and discovered that now it would come loose, but when she touched his leg to lift it to unravel the bandage, he groaned in pain. She took a deep breath.  
„Sorry, mate", she said. „I'll have to."  
„It's all right", he groaned through gritted teeth, and Imogen nodded, lifting the leg. She heard him breath heavily through his teeth, every breath a laboured hiss, as she undid the bandage.

And having undone it, seeing the wound, she knew why. It was swollen, oozing and stinking terribly. „Oh shit", she murmured.When she carefully put a finger onto the hot, swollen flesh directly next to the wound he yelped in pain without being able to control himself. Imogen shook her head as she watched something yellow trickle out of the crack her light touch had opened.  
„That doesn't look good."  
Bill let his head fall back with a groan. „I knew it", he said tonelessly.  
Imogen gave his leg a long, considering stare. „I need more light", she said then. „More light and more room. We have to get ye on deck." She called for a few men of her crew who then carried Bill on deck while Imogen gave some more orders. „Get a kettle with water boiling. And bring me a pan with glowing coals. And be quick about it!"

Jack slowly sauntered over to see what this was all about, and when he saw Bill's leg, he pursed his lips. Imogen walked up beside him.  
"Doesn't look good", he remarked.  
„No", she replied, shaking her head. „And I don't know if I can help him at all."  
„The way it looks to me the only thing that can be done for him is take it off", Jack said. Imogen shot him a glance to see if he was just being nasty, but he was actually looking thoughtful. She sighed. „I'd like to not having to do that. Besides, I don't know how."

Jack shrugged and took a step back, leaning against the mast. He wouldn't admit as much, but he had the feeling he would rather bring back him in one piece, too. Elizabeth might be upset if Bill came back missing a limb and might get it into her head to blame him. Sneering at his own thoughts, he crossed his arms and watched Imogen kneel down beside Bill as everything was arranged to her satisfaction.

„You and you", she said to two crewmen. „Come here and hold him down." She looked up and waved two more over. „You as well. Arms and legs, and his head, as well."  
"What are you doing to me?", Bill asked, growing more and more pale by the second. Imogen shot him a glance as she was rolling up her sleeves. „Trying to save yer leg, Billy." Then she shifted her weight and took something from her pocket, looked at it and leaned over to him. It was a strap of leather, and he opened his mouth and let her insert the strap between his teeth. She patted his cheek and told the men to hold on tight.

Jack watched her face grow cold, bare of any feeling, as she inserted a knife between the glowing coals. He knew that face and that it meant she was concentrating, yet even knowing that, the expression made him worry. It made Bill worry. He looked as if he was about to wet himself and Jack felt it in his heart to pity him. Imogen turned around again and took another knife, inspected the blade and knelt down beside the injured leg again. She took a deep breath, and with one swift, ruthless move, cut open the wound again, making the cut slightly larger than the original wound was.

Blood and pus oozed out of the wound, and Bill's breath could be heard over where Jack was standing. Yet he somehow managed to hold onto himself and didn't scream. Yet.  
He only had a brief respite to take some deep breaths, however. Imogen took another breath and then pressed her fingers to the side of the wound, squeezing out all the pus and dead flesh and everything unhealthy and smelly.  
The moment she put pressure on his leg, Bill spat out the leather strap and screamed. And in that moment, it became clear why she had ordered four strong men to hold him down. All four of them had to lean onto his limbs with all their strength.

Imogen, however, seemed oblivious to his screams and went on cleaning the wound. When no more nasty stuff would come out, she flapped the flesh open with the tip of a knife and ordered the hot water to be brought. Jack felt himself grow a little weak in the knees. Bill had just stopped screaming, his hoarse, rasping, sobbing breath was the only sound that moment. Then Imogen took the kettle and poured the boiling water directly into the wound. Bill gasped and fainted.

One of the men holding him down jumped up and ran towards the railing where he violently threw up, but no one laughed, no one blamed him. Jack felt like joining him, but sheer stubborn pride made him swallow the bile that was rising in his throat.

The wound seemed cleaned to her satisfaction, and Imogen sat back on her heels and opened a little package with small items and Jack made a mental note to himself where she had all that stuff from and why she was as apt as any chirugeon he had ever seen in dealing with a wounded man. She swiftly threaded a needle and then turned around to pull the knife out of the embers. She inspected the glowing blade, then pressed it onto the raw flesh on the inside of the wound to make the bleeding stop.  
It stank of burned flesh and hot blood. It was almost unbearable and all of a sudden, Jack was very grateful that they were out in the open air. Inside a small room he was sure he would have shamed himself and puked his guts out. It was hard enough to keep himself together as it was.

Imogen wiped the rest of the blood away with a moist piece of cloth and began stitching the wound together. Finally she wrapped a bandage tightly around the leg and sat back again with a sigh. Bill had still not regained consciousness.  
"Bring him back into the cabin", she said and got up.  
Jack still hadn't moved and kept leaning against the mast as they carried Bill away. _Poor bastard_, he thought.

Imogen had emptied the rest of the water on the deck to rinse away the worst of the mess there and now was washing her hands and arms in a bucket. Slowly, he felt it safe to pry him away from the wooden support of the main mast and, composing his face into a grin, he swaggered over.  
„That was quite impressive", he said and she shot him a queer glance before getting up. "Were did ye learn that from?"  
„I told ye I had been sent to a convent after being jailed, haven't I"?  
„Ye did. That where ye learned that?"  
She nodded with slightly narrowed eyes. „About the only bloody useful thing I learned. Patch men up who have been too stupid not to get themselves hacked to pieces." She turned on her heel and went back inside, and Jack narrowed his brows and wondered what the heck he had said wrong. Feeling the need to know, he followed her into her cabin where Bill was lying on her bed, moaning softly.

She knelt down beside the bed to look at his face and he opened his eyes and licked his lips. "I… I'm dying", he rasped in a hoarse whisper. His voice was hardly audible and strained with pain. Imogen shook her head. „No, ye're not dying yet. Ye just don't feel like dancing a reel, mate. Have a rest."  
Bill shook his head in return. „Can't…" he muttered. „God forgive me…" He leaned back with a rasping breath and opened his eyes again. „Can't talk…"  
„Stop talking. Ye need a rest", Imogen said, feeling deeply worried at the way he looked at her. She touched his cheek, and it was not even hot any more. It was cold and clammy to the touch. She bit her tongue. That didn't look good at all.  
„Thank you for… trying to save me", he muttered. „Please…"  
"Oh will you…"  
"Please", he interrupted her with urgency burning in his eyes. „Please, say a… a prayer… with me while… while I go." He let his head fall back with a soft groan. „Can't… talk…"

Imogen stared at him for a few seconds, then ran her hand across his forehead and down his cheek. „I'm a bloody pirate", she whispered softly under her breath as she took both his hands in hers. He smiled, a strange, soft smile, and Jack was sure he hadn't heard her last remark. He himself felt strangely out of place all of a sudden and took a step back as he watched his daughter comforting a man who thought he was dying. Who maybe even was dying.  
_Oh damn it,_ he thought. What _am I going to tell Lizzie if he dies?_ Suddenly, he felt something cold crawl down his spine when he thought of him being the bearer of the worst news she could possibly expect. He shook his head and tried to get rid of that feeling.

What were they doing? He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, straining his ears, before he realised with a feeling of intruding in someone's utmost intimate privacy that they were praying. She was saying the Ave Maria with him. She had learned that in the convent, as well. Must have. She certainly hadn't learned it from him. And yet he failed trying to conjure an image of his daughter in the habit of a novice nun… it just wouldn't work.

Bill smiled softly, an eased, peaceful smile. Imogen swallowed and shook her head, then caressed his cheek again.  
"I'm so hot", he murmured.  
„It'll be better soon", Imogen whispered, and Jack realised with a creepy feeling that she was speaking nothing but the truth. One way or the other, it would be better soon. Bill sighed and didn't speak any more, and by now, Jack was more worried than he cared to admit. He walked over as silently as he could the moment Imogen stood up.

„Is he…"  
She shook her head. „No", she whispered. „At the moment, he's just asleep. But I don't know if he will wake up." She suddenly looked very strained and tired, and Jack gently laid a hand on her shoulder.  
„Ye've done well today, lass", he said in a low voice and she looked up at him.  
„He'll likely die yet", she murmured, but Jack shook his head.  
"Ye've done well", he insisted. „He has a chance."  
Mutely, Imogen nodded and let her shoulders drop.

„Ye know", she said softly, „All the time I have cursed the two years I've lost in that convent. I hated it. They cut of me hair and made me get up three times every night to bloody sing." She ran a hand across her face and dropped it again. „And today was the first time I've seen that there was some use in it, at least. I'd never have known what to do."  
He didn't know what to reply and instead gently squeezed her shoulder. She didn't move, and he gave in to the impulse and pulled her into an embrace.  
"I'm tired, dad", she murmured into his shoulder. „These things are pretty damn exhausting."  
"Here, and I thought ye were being pretty ruthless", he said with a smirk, trying to cheer her up. She stepped back and looked at him, but didn't smile. He had the sudden, unpleasant feeling that her eyes bore into his soul.

„I was", she said. „You have to be. You have to be pretty ruthless to clear out an old, festering wound. Otherwise it'll kill ye."

Then she walked past him and out of the door, and Jack stared after her with the nagging feeling that she hadn't been talking about Billy's leg.

x x x x x x x x

Imogen staid up all night to regularly check on Bill's fever and wipe off his limbs with a cool, moist rag to help keep it down. For the whole time she faced the fact that he could die under her hands any minute when finally, in the small hours of the night, he stopped tossing and started sweating again. The fever broke.

Bill slept most of the following day and woke up late in the afternoon to look around him, seemingly confused.  
„Where am I…", he asked softly and Imogen got up from the table where she had been studying charts. „On me ship. How do ye feel?"  
He stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, then recognition dawned in his eyes. „You… you got me away from that ship…", he said, and Imogen smiled.  
Bill swallowed. „I remember… I remember having an argument with a man... and I remember horrific pain in my leg… it still hurts…" He looked at her.  
„I've cut the wound open and cleaned it out", she said. „It seems to have worked, since the fever seems to be gone."  
He nodded. „I must admit my memory of the last few days is somewhat muddled. I remember this man telling me about my father…"  
"He probably did", Imogen said carefully.

Suddenly, he went even paler as before and swallowed. „What is it?", she asked and he flashed her a nervous, wavering smile.  
„I… I just remembered who you are", he said in a low voice. „Pirates."  
"Right. But we've made a deal to bring ye back."  
Bill fell back into the pillow and sighed. „Since you've saved my leg and even my life, I see no more reason to doubt you. You have my heartfelt gratitude for that, be assured."  
Imogen nodded with a smirk and stood up. „I recommend ye rest a bit more. Come tomorrow, we'll be on our way again."  
He nodded and took a deep breath, smiling at her. Smiling back at him, Imogen left the cabin with the strange feeling that his eyes were following her through the whole room and out of the door. She closed the door behind her and shook her head.

She found her father sitting on a coil of rope at the bow, staring at his hands. He must have heard her steps yet made no move nor showed any sign he acknowledged her presence, not even as she sat down right next to him.  
„Jack?"  
Finally he could no longer ignore her and looked up with a lopsided smile. „What is it?"  
„What's wrong with ye?"  
He cocked an eyebrow. „What d'ye mean? What should be wrong?"  
„I don't know. You tell me. Ye've been acting strange these last days."  
He was about to snap a smart reply, then he looked at her, into her piercing eyes that knew him so well, and shrugged with an apologetic smile.

„These last days stirred up a lot of memories, and not all of them pleasant ones", he finally admitted. Imogen tilted her head and Jack looked past her, across the deck and at the horizon. He was silent for a while, then slowly got up and looked past the bow, hands gripping the railing. She got up and stood beside him, but as he spoke again, he didn't look at her.  
„I've never let my past haunt me", he said. „If I could avoid it", he then added with a half-way grin. „I was never prone to regret. But now, the past comes back to haunt and taunt me. I never used to think twice once I had made a choice, and now I'm drowning in ‚what-ifs'. I'm not used to that." He sighed. „Maybe I'm getting old."

Imogen was at a loss as what to say. Sensing her confusion, Jack looked up with a rueful smile. „I've been trying to deny I want that woman, for twenty years and more now. Maybe it gets easier to deal with it if I just admit it and get on with it."  
Imogen laid a hand on his shoulder and stood a little closer to him.  
„Ye were right, ye know", Jack said after a while. „We both inflicted some serious wounds on each other and never treated them properly." He fell silent again and Imogen kept her silence with him. There was nothing, in any case, she could say that would be of use, wouldn't play it down or even make it worse.

„Maybe it's time", Jack said after a while, „To open these old wounds to treat them. No matter how, it'll be better. One way or another."

x x x x x x x x

She knew she had already begun to succumb to the longing that was twisting every fibre of her being. But even if she told herself so, she felt so much better here than she had ever felt before in the last ten years… it was liberating.  
Elizabeth was taking a stroll down at the shore, accompanied by two of her serving women.

The sand was brilliant white, the sea was brilliant blue and the wind was a gentle breeze that seemed to air out her soul. She felt a little like an old piece of clothing, hung out into the wind and sun after a long winter spent in a dark and musty trunk.

Right now, she stood on a little outcrop of the rocks that were scattered at the foot of the fort that overlooked Port Royal, watching a large ship with billowing white sails leave the harbour and head for the horizon. And even though she knew it was not possible and that this was not the way she should feel, she wanted to go with them. To leave this life behind forever. But it was too late for these kinds of thoughts now. She had waited for too long and now she would never set sail again.  
Smiling sadly to herself at her folly and foolishness, she turned and walked back to the beach.

They continued their walk and Elizabeth listened with half an ear to the gossip of the ladies walking three or four steps behind her. Taking in the fresh air in deep breaths, she closed her eyes for a few seconds and listened to the endless, beckoning song of the waves gently washing onto the sand. When she opened her eyes again to watch where she was going, she saw something shimmering, right at the water's edge. Careful, as not to ruin her shoes and dress and sneering at herself at the same time for this, she took two steps towards it and bend down.

It was a shell, a seashell, coloured in shining white and peach. When she turned it, the coating of mother-of-pearl reflected the sunlight in a glittering, iriscent spell of light and colours.

She picked it up and waited for a wave to come up the shore to rinse the sand off, and when she felt the wave washing over her hand it seemed to her almost like a friendly touch in passing. The cool softness of the water caressing her fingers evoked memories long gone, but still smiling, she got up and watched the seashell, turning it this way and that in the sun.

Another wave washed ashore, almost licking at her shoes, and when Elizabeth looked down, stepping back, she saw a small white crab sitting in the sand. She stared for a second at the little creature, feeling even more memories wash over her like the waves, then the crab scurried off, back into the water, and out of sight.

„Now will you look at that!", the older of her two attendants said. „A white crab!"  
„So?", Elizabeth turned and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. „Does that mean anything special?"  
„It means good luck", the woman said. „It means good luck to spot a white crab, and it means that your loved one will come back safely to your shores." Elizabeth lifted her brows and the woman looked abashed, muttering apologies.

Yet Elizabeth felt, strangely enough, not upset. She was not even bothered by the woman's blunder. Smiling slightly, she looked at the seashell again and turned to look at the sea again. So it was good luck to see a white crab?  
_I've seen a whole swarm once, it didn't bring me luck.  
_But then, of what help was all the good luck in the world if you made a wrong choice?  
_I thought it was the right one, at the time.  
_Then she looked at the seashell again and suddenly remembered something she had heard somewhere, or maybe read somewhere, quite a long time ago.

_„Mother-of-pearl is, by the common folk, widely believed to have magical properties. Especially, it is valued in it's essence of pureness, and so it is often used in charms that spot and unveil lies and deceiving. Women used to sew mother of pearl into the seams of their men's clothing to make them unable to lie to them or be unfaithful. It is also believed that if a person carries a pearl, it will tarnish when that person speaks other than the truth."_

Elizabeth stared at the horizon, her fingers slowly closing around the seashell.

Her father. He had told her that. Her father had said that, as if making a joke, on her fourteenth birthday when he had given her his present, a necklace made from pearls. It was in his voice that she had heard these words in her memory.

She looked down at the seashell and slowly opened her hand again.

_I have made the wrong choice._

The seashell sparkled in the sun.


	8. Chapter 8

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 8**

They would reach Port Royal the next day. Imogen stood at the helm, feeling sleepless. She had spent the last three days practically at Bill's side, checking the wound in hourly intervalls. But it had started to heal cleanly, and while it would form a ugly scar, the flesh around it was no longer swollen and hot.  
And still, despite the fact she had hardly slept in the last days, she felt sleep elude her. So she might as well do something useful with her time, she had thought, and had sent the night watch under deck and taken the helm.  
Not that there was much to do. There was hardly any wind, which was the reason why it had taken them several days to reach Port Royal in the first place. And with sunrise, they would drop anchor and wait for nightfall to go nearer to the coast so a longboat could drop Bill off.

Speaking of the devil, she thought with a grin as she heard the heavy steps of a limping man coming towards her. He looked up at her and smiled, then laboured himself up the stairs to the helm.  
„I heard the crew say we will hit Port Royal tomorrow."  
She nodded. „Tomorrow night."  
He looked across the deck and was silent for a while. Imogen wished for him go, to leave her alone with her thoughts while at the same time, she felt she enjoyed his company. Since he had recovered, he had made much more sense, and since he had had a proper wash, he was much more likeable.  
„I'd like to thank you again, Imogen."  
She shot a glance at him. He smiled softly, an expression strangely unfitting for a face completely overgrown with a fierce, dark beard. She had to grin.  
„No, really", he said, misjudging her expression. „I know what happened. Both you and your father have risked a lot for my life."  
„Pirates", Imogen muttered. „Scold women for being gossips, while all the time they can very well sew up the fly of their own breeches."

Bill laughed. Imogen looked at him with a grin, she had never heard him laugh before. It was a rather pleasant sound, and it cleared all the furrows and wrinkles from his face. He was much too young to have that many.He chuckled and shook his head.  
„Yes, you can't beat a ship full of bored seamen." Then he took another step towards her and stared in the direction she was looking. „And I'd like to thank you for saving my leg. It would have been hard on me to loose it."  
„Ye're welcome", Imogen said with a smirk. „Never helps if ye bring the merchandise back damaged."  
„Merchandise?" he chuckled again.  
„What else?", Imogen gave back with a lopsided grin. „We didn't do that to do ye a favour, mate."  
„No, but you did me a favour nontheless."

She choose not to reply and looked ahead again. He stood silently beside her, following her gaze towards the horizon.

Above them, the sky glittered like a diamond-strewn orb made from dark-blue silk, a perfect, cloudless, starry, mild, caribbean night. A gentle breeze sprang up and ruffled Imogen's hair. He came closer again, and as Imogen was about to tell him off, she discovered with a slightly fluttering heart that she didn't mind it at all.  
„Imogen", he said again, in a low voice. She let go of the spokes and turned to look at him.  
"Yes?"  
"You are the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on."  
She hadn't expected that and blinked, then had to smile. „Well, thank ye. I'd like to return the compliment, but ye don't exactly look like ye've been kissed by the golden morning, what with that shaggy beard and all."  
He stroked his beard with a thoughtful expression. „Well, it isn't my fault I wasn't even allowed a blade to shave myself with."  
„Oh, I didn't mean ye should shave", Imogen said with a smile. „Ye look good in a beard, ye just should shape it up a bit."  
„Do you think so?", he asked, and she nodded. Suddenly unnerved by his intense gaze, she stepped back and said brightly „Ye know, I've got a pair of scissors in me cabin. I'll patch ye up."

He tilted his head and watched her jump down the stairs on deck. Shaking his head with a grin, he followed her, watched her dissapear under deck and emerge somewhat later again with a crewman in tow who, yawning as if he meant to swallow the ship, made for the helm. Imogen gestured at Bill to follow her, cursing her very stupidity. _Unnerved by his closeness, so why do ye invite him into yer cabin to stunt his beard? _But on the other hand… He had a capturing smile. And since she had rid him of the fever he had even made more and more sense when talking.  
Maybe he wasn't too bad after all. He seemed to like her well enough.  
"Sit ye down, mate."

Bill sat down, and Imogen gave his face an assessing look, took him by the chin and turned his head this way and that. Then, with an nod, she brought the scissors to his chin and cut of a bit. And another bit here… and a bit more there. There. She took a step back to look at him with a tilted head, then bend forward again to clip away one final minor adjustment. It was only when she looked up that she realised how close their faces were. She could feel his breath on her lips.  
„There, that's better", she said with a slight smile.  
"I thank you again, Imogen", he said, captured by her eyes, so rich in contrast, shining white and deep brown. And as unfathomable as the ocean.

She didn't resist when he laid his hands on her cheek, and in turn ran one hand through his hair. Closing his eyes, Billy smiled and kissed her. Gently, and without using his tongue, and when he leaned back, she opened her eyes and smiled. Slowly, both of them got up and he pulled her into an embrace.  
„Let me bar the door", she said, and he smiled and let go of her. He wrinkled his brow when she came back and she tilted her head.  
„Isn't that going rather… fast?", he asked, and Imogen laughed softly under her breath.  
„What did ye expect?" She replied. „I'm a pirate. I won't wait for ye to marry me, Bill."  
He blinked and she laid her hands on his shoulder. „Stop gaping at me and kiss me, ye landlubber."

„I'm no landlubber", he said with a chuckle. „I've wanted to go to sea since I was twelve, but was not allowed to and had to learn a craft instead."  
„What craft?"  
„Blacksmith", he said. „Like my father had been before he started going to sea."  
Imogen ran her hands down his upper arms. „So that's where these nice muscles come from", she said in what was almost a purr. „So ye're no landlubber. Will ye kiss me now?"  
He smiled and kissed her again, this time with more passion. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close, opening her lips to him.

His left hand was at her back, holding her, while his right one was running through her hair. He rested his hand at the back of her neck when he withdrew slowly from the kiss and kept it there as he was planting careful kisses along her throat.  
„Billy", she said softly with half-closed eyes.  
"Hm?" He lifted his head to look at her.  
„Come to bed with me", she said and he swallowed.  
„But…"  
"No but. And yes, I am that kind of girl. I'm a pirate, aye?"  
„Oh, you are, but…"  
"No but", she repeated, letting her hands wanter down his chest and belly. „Oh… is that a hornpipe in yer pocket or are ye a happy I bolted the door?"  
He swallowed, but shook his head with a wry grin. „I… I am… Oh will you…"  
"What? Stop that? You don't mean that, do you?"  
He chuckled with an expression on his face that was torn between sheer disbelief and exasparation. „Imogen…"

"You." She said, grabbing his shirt with both hands and pulling him forward. „Breeches off. Now."

He blinked, and knew he had lost. Or won. Or both.

x x x x x x x x

Imogen's absence on deck the next morning caught Jack's attention, but wherever he looked, she wasn't there. The fact that he couldn't find Bill as well started to nag at him, suggesting something he didn't like and didn't want to accept, but when he found the door to her cabin bolted from the inside, he had to face the grim fact that his daughter had gotten up to something with the whelp.  
His first impulse was to ask if they could make a short detour to Tortuga to drop him off before delivering the whelp, but that would have been too obvious. So all that was left for him was to keep his posture, keep a straight face and stop himself from strangling that boy.

There it was again.

He walked to the bow and stared into the waters, but they were not underway, there was no bow wave. There was hardly any wave, the water was glittering like a cut and polished saphire. Yet even that sight could not ban the feeling, or rather the way he felt about it. Of all feelings he had to face the last days that were not only unwelcome but also unfamiliar, jealousy was the least welcome.

Surely he didn't begrudge his own daughter a little bit of happiness…?  
_But why him, of all men._  
Well, that was probably anyone's guess, and her own busines, at that. Still…  
_Ye're just jealous that she has someone to tumble around in bed with and ye don't._  
That was part of the problem, at least…  
_Sorry bastard._

That was what had become of him during the last twenty years. A bitter, sorry old bastard.

He wasn't going to Port Royal.

He'd rather die of his festering wounds. That pain, at least, was something he was used to.

x x x x x x x x

Imogen had shot him a queer glance but accepted his descicion to stay on the ship. She went with Bill into the longboat, and even as Jack watched her go, already he was eaten by doubts. Yet his ever present, stubborn, stupid pride kept him back from changing his mind. Bill waved at him and he leasurely lifted a hand before stepping back, thus vanishing out of their sight. She watched him with a strange feeling of regret and anger. He had told her himself it was time to treat those old wounds, and here he was, backing down on himself and his own words. Shaking her head, she gripped the oars and headed for the coast.

They landed north of Port Royal, a good distance, as not to be seen. It meant a long walk, of course, but Bill had insisted they'd bring themselves in no more danger. They, that had been Jack and Imogen, but now, it was only the two of them. And in a way, Imogen discoverd, that was fine by her. She slung an arm around his hip and he pulled her close, his arm around her shoulder, then kissed her hair. She flashed him a smile before they got on their way.

A casual observer would have seen nothing but a pair of staggering drunks, arms slung around each other, heading for lower part of the city. Once inside, Bill took the lead, as Imogen had never seet foot into Port Royal and didn't know her way around. She followed him through back alleys, down some sideroads and towards the edge of the city again. The houses here were large and pompously built and Imogen was not a little surprised when he headed for one of the larger ones, walked around the walls that fenced the garden off, and halted in front of a small, wrought-iron gate.

He turned and took Imogen's hands in his. „I'm afraid this is where we part", he said and she smiled despite feeling like complaining. Or maybe even crying, but she hated crying and tended not to do it. He kissed her forehead, but then dropped her hands with a sigh and pulled her into an embrace, kissing her fiercely.  
„Imogen", he said. „Give me some time to recover and heal. But once I'm sound again, will you take me with you?"  
She stared at him as if he had lost his mind. „Where?"  
„Anywhere", he said. „Away from here. I want to sail the seas, always wanted to cruise the ocean. Will you take me?"  
She smiled and shook her head, but as he looked at her abashed, she shook her head again.  
"Oh Billy", she said softly. „I'm a pirate. Ye know what happens to ye if ye sail with me?"  
„I'll become a pirate, too?", he asked, but it sounded as if he had thought about that already.  
"What if I tire of ye?"  
He shrugged. „Then I'd still be your crewman, wouldn't I?"  
„If ye won't give me reason to be too overly annoyed…"

He kissed her again. „Promised", he breathed into her ear, „Imogen. Please, I want to get away from here. I have dreamed about the sea since I was ten or so. Maybe even earlier. Please. Make me a pirate. Aye?"  
She chuckled and kissed his cheek. „We'll see what ye're made of."  
He leaned back and smiled. „I'll find you in Tortuga in two or three months time. I'll need that much to break it to my mother."  
Imogen tilted her head. „I think ye're doing her injustice, Billy. She's stronger than she seems. She's just lonely."  
He shrugged. „I know. But… I'm torn, you know. But still, I don't want to ruin my life just because of someone else's feeling. I know that does sound harsh… but it is my life…"  
„That it is, aye", Imogen gave back and kissed his other cheek. „See ye in Tortuga, love. In two months time or so."  
„Promised?"  
"Savvy."

Then she turned on her heel to hide the tear that was burning in her eyes, telling herself off for that. Grown soft and puffy, she scolded herself. Don't attach yerself too strongly to that lad. It's likely ye'll never see him again.

x x x x x x x x

Jack sauntered back to the table where she was sitting, industriously working on getting drunk. Well, to be honest, she was pretty drunk already, but she felt like that state could do with a little improvement. Jack sat down at her table, put several bottles down in fron of her and leaned back, cocking an eyebrow. „Can't remember when I've seen ye that rat-arsed before, luv."  
Imogen shrugged. „Mock me all ye like", she said in a slightly blurred voice, as she noted with satisfaction. She was getting there.  
„I'm not mocking ye, lass."  
„Then what's that supposed to mean?"  
„Nothing else than what I've said. Never seen ye that wasted before."

Imogen shrugged and reached for another bottle.  
"Haven't had enough yet?"  
„Mind yer own business."  
„Don't come running to me tomorrow complaining."  
„I'm not twelve years old any more, ye old fart."  
"I know that well."  
She squinted up at him, but his face was completely blank.  
"What d'ye want of me? I'm lovesick, and I intend to forget about it by getting drunk. Will ye leave me alone now?"  
Jack slowly got up and pursed his lips. „If that's what ye want…" He said and turned to walk away. Yet after two steps, Imogen called out to him.

"Jack!"  
„What is it, luv?"  
„When are ye here next time?"  
„Don't know. Next month or so. Why?"  
She grinned and leaned back. „Cause I've got a soft spot for ye, old fart. Like to see how ye're doing now and then."  
Jack grinned and left her to her rum, shaking his head. She would be fine, eventually. He felt he was loking forward to meeting her again soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Warning: There's short outburst of major violence (in my oppinion) further down in this chapter. Do not read this if you are upset by descriptions of blood and death.

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**Chapter 9**

The Black Pearl hit Tortuga roughly a month later, as Jack had promiesd Imogen they would. Well, he hadn't promised her that, as such, but he had said he would be here, and intended to be there if she was expecting him. He hadn't seen her for three years prior to their last encounter, and he had the feeling he would enjoy seeing her more frequently.  
_Even if she keeps on calling me old fart, the annoying pest._

Their hull filled with fine wares from a merchant that had been unlucky enough to cross their path, they docked in the harbour and Jack went to see where he could get the best prices. He sold silk to one merchant, and spices to another, making himself, as usual, quite unpopular as he haggled like an old fishmonger.

„If ye want that much for that stuff, Jack, ye can stuff it up yer arse."  
„Oh, I'm sure there's no need for that, Gavin, me charming friend. I think I've seen a ship in the docks that looked like they could use some bales of finest silk to fill in the gaps."  
„I'll give yer twenty each."  
„Fourty." He knew he was making Gavin livid, but that was part of the fun. It wasn't as if he really needed the money.  
"Ach, and the moon's fifty and a half!" Gavin spat out and crossed his arms. Jack opened his. „Thirty-five?"  
"Twenty-five and not a copper more, yer cutthroat."  
"Thirty. Will ye have a look at the borders here?" He flapped a piece of silk over to present a finely woven border inset with gold wires.  
„As if ye knew anything about weaving, ye crab-louse."  
"No, but I know gold when I see it, bilge rat. Twenty-eight, and if ye don't want it, I'll sell it somewhere else."

Gavin grunted, looked at the silk again and murmured something into his beard while opening his locker.  
„Take it and suff'cate."  
Jack took the gold and bowed with a florish. „I'll drink one to yer health, Gavin."  
Gavin picked up two bales of silk and spat out again. „Make that two", he said before dissapearing into his shop.

Jack counted the doubloons into his hand and licked his lips in amusement. This was going nicely. With his pockets well padded, he made his way down to the market where he intended to buy a little something for Imogen to make her embarrassed when they would meet again. Choosing a necklace made from finely woven gold with a pendant of red coral, he sauntered off, whistling under his breath, and headed for the Drunken Rat.

x x x x x x x x x

A couple of days later, he was still waiting for her and started to think about setting sail again, for it seemed obvious that she wouldn't come any more. Whatever the reason for the delay, it need not delay him. He wasn't in the mood to hang around just to wait for her. They would meet again, eventually, he just had to make sure to hit Tortuga more regularly in the future.

Having made up his mind, he thought he could well leave tonight with the evening tide. He took his hat, stood up and headed for the door, but just as he was about to leave, the door opened and a man from Imogen's crew walked in.  
Jack grinned. „Elmer", he said, but he stopped grinning when he saw his face. The man was a bearer of bad news, of he wasn't Jack Sparrow. "What's the matter?", he asked, feeling a dark foreboding creep up on him.  
Elmer swallowed. „Ye see, Cap'n Sparrow, we were heading for Tortuga, but we ran across that man-o-war again."

Jack felt his face drain of all colour. The fact that Imogen wasn't here to tell him that herself allowed only one conclusion, and he was proven right when Elmer cautiosly went on. He had seen Jack's expression and didn't want to be in the way of his wrath.  
„See, they caught up with us, having more sail and all, and then they boarded us. It was just too many of them. And then they took Cap't Sparrow, that is, our Cap'n Sparrow, well he took her on his ship and told us to find ye, Cap'n Sparrow, to tell ye he's waiting to see ye again. We're to bring ye there to meet him."

Jack's mind raced, yet there was no clear thought coming to his consciousness. The only thing he could think of was that Barbossa held Imogen as a hostage to get hold of him again. And this time, he had even no idea why that was the case. He had shown and told him everything he knew of the thirce-cursed map. „When was that?" He finally managed to ask.  
Elmer stopped picking his nose. „Say, two weeks ago. But he said he'd sail rendevouz with us, like."

Too much time. Jack ran a hand across his face. Already, he was running out of time. He knew Barbossa, and Barbossa knew him. Barbossa knew he would not need to utter threats, because he knew Jack would be fully aware of the fact that each passing day brought Imogen closer to death. He wouldn't even need to pray she wouldn't be hurt. He could only pray she was still alive when he found her.  
He had no time to loose. „Let's go."

Rounding up the crew of the Pearl took them a while, but they still managed to get on their way with the outgoing tide. The Albatross set the course, and the Black Pearl followed with Jack at the helm, feeling his heart being eaten inside his chest by worry.

_I'm coming, Barbossa,_ he thought grimly. _And this time, I swear I'll kill ye_.

x x x x x x x x

The journey took them four days until they spotted the man-o-war at the horizon, heading towards them. For days and three nights, to be precise. Three days and two nights in which Jack had been unable to do anything but stand at the helm and rein in his growing fury. He had warned Barbossa. He had warned him to keep his filthy paws off her. And now he would pay. He would make him pay.

_By god, if ye harmed her, I'll swear I'll hack ye into pieces._

But even in his present state of mind, glowing with barely surpressed rage, he had thought of a plan that might deliver the man-o-war into his hands. It was a simple one, almost too simple, which maybe was the reason they hadn't thought about it the last time.  
But this time, he did. And this time, he was coming with two ships. He didn't even waste time to think about what would happen if it should fail. He simply did not dare.

Coming closer, Jack had the flag of parley flown, as did the Albatross. The Neptune's Revenge answered with the same signal, and the two smaller ships slowly cruised in alongside, anchoring midships on each side of the man-o-war. Jack slowly let go of the helm and walked across the deck, waiting for the rope ladder to be thrown down from the railing of the larger ship.

As he did so, his eyes fell on his latest crewman.

Aaron was a tall, burly muscled negro with a face full of regular scars. No one knew his real name and he could tell no one, since he had no tongue any more. It was clear he was an escaped slave, and african born, but he understood what you told him and let himself be called Aaron, since they needed something to call him.  
Right now, his burly frame provided Jack with exactly what he wanted, so he walked over to him and with a grim, tightlipped smile, slipped Aaron's long and heavy cutlass out of the scabbard. „I'll borrow that, Aaron me mate", he said. As usual, Aaron didn't move a muscle in his face. He had another two blades across his back.

Slipping the cutlass into his belt, thus hiding it under his long coat, he seemed, after getting rid of his pistols, scabbard and sabre, unarmed to the unobserving eye. Smiling grimly to himself, Jack now mounted the ropeladder that a crewman of the man-o-war had just thrown down.

A look around on deck told Jack what he wanted to see. He could still make out the crew of the english fregate, although by now, their clothing and appearance was hardly and different from the rest of the pirates. But distinctive enough. Half the crew, yes? The crews of Albatross and Black Pearl together would just about match the crew of the man-o-war. As it was. With a forced grin, Jack looked around.

"Where's Barbossa?", he asked, and one man pointed at the door to the captain's cabin. Jack walked towards it, hesitating shortly, then braced himself for what he would see. The door opened with a creak. There was a strange, foreboding silence in the air. Jack clenched his jaws and closed the door behind him. „Barbossa. Show yer ugly face, ye dirty coward."  
„Coward? Ye hurt me, Jack."

Jack cautiously took two steps forward. Barbossa was standing at the far back end of the cabin, his left thumb hooked into his belt. The right hand held a pistol with the muzzle pointing at… someone crouching at his feet.  
Jack felt his stomach turn, then the cold rage that had kept him going the last few days came back. He took another step and now saw that it was indeed Imogen who was crouching in a heap at his feet. Naked, bound and gagged.  
She stared up at him, but she seemed not to see him. Her eyes were, while wide as if in terror, strangely blank.

„What have ye done to her?"  
„Nothing much yet. So far, I have just given her a bit of opium to make her enjoy what I've been doing. Too bad ye came so fast. I was just about to start having fun."  
Jack fought his fury, trying to keep a rein in himself. One false move, and Imogen was dead. „What d'ye want, bilge-rat? I gave ye the map, and I told ye all I know."  
„Oh, ye did, Jack. Ye did."  
„Then what do ye want?"  
Barbossa's smile slowly spread into a grin. „How d'ye get in, Jack?"

Jack blinked. „In where?"  
„Into the cave, man. Don't start messing around with me!"  
"Cave?" Then it dawned on him. „That cave…"  
„That cave. I assume ye've been there as well?"  
"I have…", Jack said, still at a loss. What was he going on about? „What d'ye mean, how do ye get in? Ye just go in?"  
„Just go in?", Barbossa said, aping him. „Go trough solid rock?"

Jack slowly shook his head. „Mate, ye've lost me", he said, still clenching his fists to keep himself still. „I came there, walked up the beach, faced the rocky hill and walked around until I found the entrance. A big, gaping hole."  
„There was no entrance.", Barbossa said and cocked the pistol.  
„There was one when I was there", Jack said, summoning all his strength of will not to move. „I swear", he added. „I didn't do anything other than just walk there, and there it was."  
Barbossa slowly lifted one brow. Then he reached down with his other hand, buried his fingers in Imogen's hair and jerked her head aroung so that she was staring directly into the muzzle of his pistol. „Yer tricks won't help ye any more, Jack. I'm fed up with ye. Time's over."

Jack's heart skipped a beat, then his instincts took over. He moved fast as a snake, as if all the pent-up fury inside him made him uncoil like a striking rattlesnake. But he didn't attack Barbossa, which was something he'd have expected. He did something completely unexpected.  
Instead of kicking the pistol out of Barbossa's hand, which would have been of no use since he pulled the trigger the same moment, he kicked Imogen instead.

Yes, as she had pointed out to him once, sometimes you have to be pretty ruthless to save someone's life. He kicked her in the head, and instead of hitting her face, the bullet only grazed her shoulder. Then Jack threw himself forward at the startled Barbossa and planted his fist into the ugly, grinning bastard's face while pulling out his cutlass with the other hand.

But before he could make another move, Jack suddenly stared into the muzzle of another pistol.

"Stupid bastard. Think I'd face ye with only one shot?"

No one moved, for the span of two heartbeats, then Jack's fury broke free. He jumped forward and swung the cutlass with an angry roar, and the pistol fell down with a clatter, the hand still attached to it. Barbossa gasped and grabbed the stump of his arm from which blood was oozing, but Jack didn't even falter.

Screaming in fury, he swung the cutlass and hacked at Barbossa as if he was trying to hew down a tree. Barbossa was too shocked even to make a noise as he went down under Jack's raging attack, and Jack was so blind with fury that he only stopped when he realised that his opponent wasn't even moving any more. He dropped the cutlass, his breath escaping his lips on long, hoarse gulps as he realised what he had done.

The cabin around him looked horrifying. There was blood everywhere. He looked down at himself and realised that he was splattered with blood, as well. Shaking his head, he slowly sank down on his knees. But that had been a mistake, since it brought him closer to… what was left of Barbossa. He stared at the mutilated body for a second and then violently threw up.  
It took Jack several minutes to get a grip on his body again and manage to force himself upright and back onto his feet. He was shaking, and he was suddenly terrified of himself. He had never thought any man capable of doing something like that… and certainly not him.

He had hacked him into pieces, and must have hewn and hewn into the body when Barbossa had long been dead.

„God forgive me", he muttered weakly, even knowing as he said it that god would have better things to do than listen to a pirate and that he certainly wasn't inclined to treat such a behaviour lightly. It was as if a demon had been taking posession of his soul. He turned with a shudder and tried to shove these thoughts aside. There were more important things right now than his sensitivities, he thought grimly.

„Imogen", he said softly as he knelt down beside her, yet she was still unconscious.  
_God, I've killed her…_  
But she was still breathing. He cut through the ropes that bound her wrists and ankles and gently removed the gag from her mouth. She groaned with fluttering eyelids.  
„Imi, luv. Look at me." He patted her cheek and she did indeed open her eyes.  
Jack felt his heart sink. She stared at him, but her eyes were so wide they were almost completely white, then she made a sound that could only be called a whimper  
„Imogen…"

Her head lolled from one side to the other, and Jack put his hand on her cheek to support it. Her eyelids flutered again, then she stared past him, but blinked.  
„Daddy", she said in a hoarse whisper. „Daddy?"  
„I'm here, luv. I'll get ye home."  
"Daddy", she said in a tiny voice. „Where are ye? Where are ye?"  
Jack swallowed. She hadn't seen him at all nor registered his voice. She was calling for him, and the way she did it was sending shivers down his spine. That wasn't his Imogen. That wasn't the girl he knew. Barbossa had broken her.

„I'm here, luv. It's allright." But it would never be allright again, would it? He held her close and pressed his face into her curls, huggin her to his chest.  
„Where have ye been, daddy?", she suddenly asked, and he realised with dread that she was sobbing. He leaned back to look at her. Tears were streaming down her face. "Where have ye been? Why didn't ye come?"  
He felt his stomach turn as he wiped a tear from her cheek. „I came as fast as I could, luv."  
"He said ye wouldn't come."  
„Here I am."  
She closed her eyes and let her head fall onto his shoulder again.

Again, Jack was fighting with himself as he shrugged his coat off his shoulders without letting go of her. While he had been fighting his rage before, he was now fighting his tears. He wrapped Imogen in his coat and gathered her up into his arms, then slowly got up. Her head flopped down, she had lost consciousness again and gritting his teeth, Jack kicked open the cabin door and walked out.

And again he looked into the muzzle of a pistol.

„Where's the captain?"  
"Inside", Jack said darkly. „We had a little argument, but now I'm free to go."  
Then sailor stared at him, then suddenly his eyes widened. „Yer covered in blood, man!"  
"Yes, but it's not mine."  
The man blinked, then rushed past Jack to look into the cabin. „Heaven and hell!", he exclaimed, and Jack took a breath.

„We have come to set the englishmen free!", he yelled across the deck. „Fight with us and we'll get yer home!" Then he turned and jumped down the railing, landing on the deck of the Black Pearl with a heavy thud and a curse. He had twisted an ankle, but ignored the pain and hurried away from the railing where his men where now throwing hooks over to the other ship.

Kicking the door of his own cabin shut behind him, he listened to the sounds of fighting men, screams, clanging and the occasional shot, going on on deck of Barbossa's ship. He gently laid her down on his bed and sat down next to her, taking her hand in his. It was cold and moist, and her breathing was shallow and fast.  
Then Jack remembered that Barbossa had said he'd given her opium, so she might come around better then he had initially feared.

She hadn't regained consciousness, though, and he began to worry that it was the kick he had given her. Yet it was either that or watch Barbossa shoot her. At least he hadn't broken her neck, so she hopefully could recover from the blow. But he had to get her somewhere safe. He had to get her somewhere where someone could care for her and she could heal. Where there was someone to protect and nurse her.

Somewhere safe...

Jack slowly got up and left his cabin. The noise of the battle had subsided, the crew of the Neptune's Revenge had been overcome. Jack gave order to sink the ship.As he stood at the bow and watched the explosion of all the powder they could find tore her hull apart, he felt a grim satisfaction, despite the memories of what he had done.

_Good riddance_, he thought. _May ye burn in hell. And if I join ye, I can always tell ye how I finally got the better of ye. Meanwhile, I enjoy breathing air that is so much cleaner than it ever was when you were still breathing it. Bastard. _But even his righteous fury could not conceal the absolute horrified loathing he still felt for himself for letting his fury turn him into such a senseless, bloodthirsty beast.

Shoving this feeling aside, or at least trying to, he walked across the deck, looking into the expectant, yet slightly frightened faces of the freed crew, then headed for the helm.

Gripping the spokes, he told his men to set all sails and headed for Port Royal.


	10. Chapter 10

Insert standart disclaimer here.

Author's note: This story is beginning to develop a darker side. And I don't want you to sue me when you've reached the end of this chapter. You have been warned.

--------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 10**

They hit Port Royal shortly after sundown. Jack had timed their arrival in the hopes of making it undetected into the harbour and away again out of sight before the morninglight, for while they could fly the english flag and pretend of being a merchant, someone might recognise the ship, or maybe even the captain. Jack Sparrow wasn't precicely an unknown person around the isles.

„Get yerself on land", he told the rescued men. „And do us the favour of not making a fuss." Then, following a sudden impulse, he added „And thank yer friend Billy Turner for that. Without him, I wouldn't have thought of taking ye with me." Leaning onto the wheel, he watched them go from board, one by one, and dissapear into the darkness beyond the docks. Only when he was sure they all were gone, he went into his cabin to fetch Imogen.

She had hardly woken up during the last few days. Occasionally, she had opened her eyes, surfacing into half-consciousness, and Jack had managed to get some rum and water into her then. At other times, she had awoken only to scream, and he could do nothing else than hold her, stroke her hair and wait for her to pass out again.  
He could find no words for his feelings as he watched her face when he gathered her up into his arms, wrapped in a blanket. He could not name it, but he knew it was causing him physical pain to see her suffer so much.

But she was strong, he kept telling himself as he walked down the quay to head for the upper city. She was so strong of will and body and spirit, surely she must recover? Maybe not in a couple of weeks, but given time…?

He had to keep shoving these thoughts aside to concentrate on the task ahead, and that was not being seen. The last thing he wanted right now was someone seeing him, a known pirate, carrying an unconscious girl through the back alleys of the lower city. So he walked softly, making hardly any noise, ducking into doorways, sneaking down sidewalks, and made his way towards the only safe place he could think of.

Yet as he was almost there, he suddenly heard a groupf of men running down towards the harbour, down the street where he had just turned away from. He ducked into the shadows and carefully peeked around a corner.

Redcoats.

_Damn it all to hell._

He hurried his steps, straining his ears for the sound of boots on the cobblestones when he suddenly heard shots from the direction of the docks. They had been found out. Yet with luck, the Pearl would be able to escape. They had orders to stand ready to set off with the slightest sign of trouble. Muttering a heartfelt curse under his breath, Jack hurried even more. He was almost there, and as long as he managed to get her into safety, everything else was secondary. He could think of his own safety as soon as she was safe.

„Halt! Who goes there!"

Jack didn't waste a second and started to run. Any second now could mean the difference between life and death. Her death.

He ran down two sideways and squeezed into a gap between two sheds, closing his eyes in desperation. But the running soldiers didn't see him and ran past his makeshift hideout, yelling curses as they passed him by. Jack let his breath escape in a huff and stepped out again, shook himself and ran into the opposite direction. He ducked into another little back alley, crossed a little plaza, praying under his breath, and reached a gravelled path running along a wall about seven foot high.

He wasted no time in looking or listening for his followers. He only allowed himself a pause to breathe when he finally reached the wrought-iron gate he had looked for, but at the same moment, he realised the flaw of his plan. He couldn't just knock at the back door. A servant would open, make a fuss, alert the guards, and everything would be lost. He had to see _her._

_She_ was the only one he could trust. Even if she had betrayed him, he suddenly was completely sure that whatever his fault, or hers, if he asked her to, then she would help him. But to ask her, he would have to get inside and find her without being noticed. Too feeble a chance for even him to try it.

As he was still staring at the back door, he heard a window open above him. He ducked into the doorway, straining his hears, and almost laughed out loud with relief when he heard an all-too familiar voice softly call out.  
"Is there someone? Hello?"  
He took a step forward and tilted his head. „Lizzie. Let me in, I beg ye. Help me."  
She froze for a moment, then hastily shut the window. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Jack looked down at Imogen's pale face again and prayed he hadn't been mistaken and she really would help him.

The door opened.  
"Jack, what in the name of all…"  
"Help me", he interrupted her, stepping past her. A big armchair was the only thing available where he could put her, and he sat he gently down, brushing a few hairs out of her face. Elizabeth was at his side in two steps. „What on earth has happened?", she asked, and Jack straightened up, jaws tightly clenched.

„Barbossa got her", he said, trying to refrain from shouting. „He wanted to get at me and had his fun with her while I tried to catch up with him, the dirty bastard. He drugged her and raped her and what else I neither know nor do I ever want to." He ran a hand down his face and dropped his posture, his coolness, his reserves, and stared at her in desperation. „Lizzie, I beg ye, take care of her. I can't, she needs a safe place with someone to look after her. I can't. This is the only safe place I could think of. Please, tell me ye will take care of her."

Elizabeth swallowed. She was still trying to keep up with events, with his tale, the fact that that little heap of misery was the malicious, wild-eyed girl she had met a couple of months before, and a begging Jack, but she certainly couldn't refuse him an answer. „I will", she said. „I'll take care of her." And with every word she heard herself say, she grew more assured of the fact she meant it. „We'll take care of her. Billy and me, that is."

„Thank ye", he began, taking her hand. „I knew…"

„He must be here!"

Jack's eyes widened.

„There's an open gate!"

Jack and Elizabeth exchanged a terrified, wide-eyed glare. „Oh Bugger", Jack muttered, and never before had he felt so utter desolation and horror when saying these words. Then he shook himself out of his stupor. „They must not find her", he said and grabbed Elizabeth's wrist, dragging her out with him. He shut the door and let go of her hand.

„Scream."  
„What? Jack they'll…"  
"Scream." He suddenly pulled her close, yanking her head backwards. „Scream, for god's sake. They must not go into the house. They must not find her!"  
Feeling sick with fear, Elizabeth took a deep breath and screamed. Jack gritted his teeth and clamped a hand across her mouth, stiffling the scream, then pressed a knife to her throat. „Sorry", he whispered into her ear, but before he could say more, the soldiers came running through the gate, yet stopped when they saw him.

„I'll intend to get away, if ye please", Jack said in a cool voice. „I'll really hate to harm a helpless lady, but I do value my skin a little higher than hers, since that is not attached to my back. I'd rather ye let me go, if it's all the same to you."  
„I'd hate to harm a helpless lady as well", the leader of the group said, aiming a pistol at him. „But tell yerself, how high is your chance of hiding behind her when I fire at your ugly face? And how big is it to escape once she's dead? Let her go, scum, and you might make the difference between being flogged to death or hanged."

Being pressed so closely to his body, Elizabeth could feel the tension in his muscles. He wouldn't… surely he wouldn't? He wouldn't harm her, or take the risk of her being shot, not after she had promised to…He gave her a push. Stumbling forward, she was just about able to keep herself from falling, and when she leaned against the wall for support, she saw he was trying to run away.

He didn't get far, though. And for some reason, she had the impression he didn't truly mean to escape. Still clutching her throat, she watched the soldiers assault him and knock him half-senseless before locking him up in chains. The captain of the troupe walked over to her and gave her a uncomfortable, assessing look. „Is everything allright, ma'm?", he asked, and at that moment the door behind Elizabeth opened and Bill stepped out, carrying a candlestick.

„What in god's name is going on here?", he asked and looked around. „Mother?"  
Elizabeth could see it very clearly in the captain's eyes: A man in the house. Good thing then, he wouldn't have to concern himself with the woman.  
"Your mother was assaulted by a criminal trying to hold her hostage", he said to Bill, completely ignoring her. „She was not harmed, though, and be assured, the villain will not live to see another sunset."  
Blinking in confusion, Bill looked around and finally spotted Jack, kneeling between two soldiers with his hands in shackles. The barest flicker of emotion showed in his eyes, and only the slightes move of is head indicated that he didn't mean to be recognised. Bill, although being just awoken, nontheless seemed to understand, for he wrenched his eyes away from him and looked at the captain again.

"Well, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, then, for saving my mother's life. I hope your superiors will acknowledge your merit of this night."  
The man saluted, Bill bowed his head, and the two soldiers beside Jack dragged at the chains to make him stand up. He didn't look back, and seemed to completely give in to his fate. Elizabeth watched him go with a growing sense of dread, and only when the soldiers were not only out of sight but also out of earshot Bill did speak again. „What by the devil's hairy arse is going on here?"

Elizabeth swallowed and wordlessly beckoned him inside.

When Bill saw now what he had not seen before, that is, the big armchair being occupied, he furrowed his brow and shot his mother a glance, but then he suddenly went pale as his brain connected this fact with the sudden presence of Jack Sparrow. He took another step forward, candle extended before him, and almost dropped it when he recognised her.

„Imogen!" He was at her side within a second, setting the candle down on the table next to the chair. He took her hand, sensing and seeing that she was not allright, but she showed no reaction, neither to his touch nor to his voice. „Imogen", he went on, running his hand down her cheek and brushing a few hairs behind her ear. „God, what happened?" He turned around to look at his mother again. „What happened?"  
„Jack brought her here", Elizabeth answered, crouching down at her other side. „Jack had upset Barbossa again, and he had kidnapped her and held her hostage to get his hands at Jack. Obviously, he has not been content with only having her and tying her down."  
Bill shook his head in horror, then slowly looked at Imogen's pale, expressionless face again. „What has he done to you", he whispered, caressing the conture of her face. „Imogen, love, what has he done to you?"

Love?

Elizabeth stared at her son as the realisation hit her like a fist. While being rescued by Jack and Imogen, he had fallen in love with her… And he had never even bothered to tell her.  
Yet could she blame him? Could she really blame her son for not telling her he had fallen in love with a pirate? She, of all people?  
The bittersweet irony of it all almost made her sob as she realized how the circle had suddenly closed. The only difference now was that she was the pirate while he was the sweet, innocent boy dreaming of the freedom of the sea.

Elizabeth closed her eyes for a second but could not stop the pandora's box from spilling out all the ghosts from the past. He looked so much like Will, the way he tenderly looked at Imogen. So much like Will, so much like he used to look at her. So long ago, she realised, and yet it still hurt. Yes, he had loved her so much, and now she recognised that look of love in his son's eyes resting on the woman he loved. And that woman was the daughter of…

_Don't go down that road_, she told herself. _Whatever you are, whatever he is, whatever is, was and could have been, she is as much a person in her own right as he is._

They were themselves, and had a right to their own lifes, no matter whose children they were. She had no right to hinder nor discourage them from doing things or avoiding things just because she herself should have done these things. She had no right on their lives.

But she had a duty, she old herself grimly. She had to keep her safe, and she would do so for her own sake, not because she was the daughter of a man who meant so much to her. When she got up, Bill gathered Imogen into his arms and she took the candle, then they made their way upstairs to settle her down in one of the unused chambers.

x x x x x x x x

Bill spend the rest of the night sitting at her side, holding her hand, and trying to get to grips with what had happened. It had happened so fast, he still had the feeling his mind was trying to catch up with events. He knew Barbossa. He knew he was a ruthless, cold-blooded man, but to do that to a woman?  
And what exactly was „that"? For the life of him, Bill could think of no physical discomfort that Imogen wouldn't be able to deal with.  
Non-physical, however… He knew that any kind of torture was not about inflicting physical pain in the first place. Pain was only a means of achieving the actual goal, and that was breaking someone to one's will. But what had he wanted of her?

Nothing.  
His mother had said that he only had wanted to get at Jack. So he must have done this purely for his own amusement, and to hurt Jack. He could hardly believe that anyone, pirate or no, was capable of doing such a thing, but he was faced with the proof before his very eyes. Cold fury slowly began to built up in him, and as he carressed Imogen's cheek with one hand, he swore tom himself that he would find Barbossa and kill him. Yet at the same time it dawned on him that the fact that Jack had brought her here meant that he had encountered Barbossa. So it could very well be that Barbossa was dead already.

Loosing himself in endless spirals of thought, he didn't realise how much time had passed until his mother came in to draw back the curtains. Bright sunlight flooded into the room and made Bill close his eyes and blink a few times before looking at Elizabeth again.  
„Billy", she said, nervously clenching her hands. „Please, can you not go and see if you can do something? They'll hang him. They'll hang them all. Please, try and do something. Maybe you can at least buy a little time?"  
Bill slowly got up. „I doubt they will listen to me", he said slowly and took one of her hands in his. „But I will certainly try."

_„The villain will not live to see another sunset."_

Unspoken words hung in the air when Elizabeth just nodded, and Bill went off to get his hat and coat. She watched him go from the balcony of her bedroom that overlooked the city, trying to keep these words at bay and silence them.

But they were there, nontheless.

_Maybe you can at least make sure he sees one last friendly face before he dies._

x x x x x x x x

Will made his way down to the main square, facing similar worries as his mother. He knew he wouldn't be able to do a thing. He couldn't say a word that would help him, nor do a thing to save him. What made him go was the pleading in his mother's eyes. He had seen the awareness of the senselessness of her pleas, yet had pretended not to see it and do as she had asked. She knew he could do nothing but be there.

So he was here, keeping his place at the edge of the slowly gathering crowd. People never missed a good opportunity to have some entertainment, and a hanging was definitely something not to be missed.

The drums rolled and the soldiers marched up, clearing a path for some officers of higher rank and behind them, two guards flanking a prisoner in shackles. They walked him up onto the gallows, put the noose around his neck and stepped back while the governour of Port Royal read out the charges against Jack who listened to them with a stoic face.

His crew and ship had escaped, at least. With the first signs of trouble, they had, as agreed, set sails and left the harbour as fast as they could. He didn't know if the navy had set off after them, but the way things looked they had rather preferred to go after him instead. All ships that had been there last night were still here, as far as he could see.

So someone must have seen him come down from the ship and alerted the guards. Maybe even one of the men he had saved. That's what ye get when ye're start being nice to people, he thought with a wry smile.

„Do you have any last words, pirate?", the governour asked and Jack had another look around. Then he spotted Bill, standing at the edge of the crowd, and flashed him a lopsided grin. „Hey, you", he called, and Bill raised his eyebrows.  
„Yes, you, the one with the black hat there. Come over here, if ye please."  
The crowd parted, eager to see something more exciting happen than a man just being hanged as Bill walked up to the gallows with a dry mouth.  
„Here, lad, do us a favour. Take ye one of me rings and give it to yer sweetheart. Tell her it was a pirate lord's treasure, aye?"

Bill tried to keep a straight face as he walked up the steps to the gallows after exchanging a look with the governour and recieving a nod in return. He was feeling generous after finally having caught Jack Sparrow, and he knew this was what the people liked. And he intended to remain popular with the good people of Port Royal.

Bill walked around Jack and randomly pulled off one of his rings, then swallowed and took another one. „I'll just take two", he said, making the people close enough to hear snigger. „You won't likely need them anymore where you're about to go."  
Jack gave him a nod and a grin of appreciation, but Bill himself felt like he had drunken a barrel of ice. He didn't know why he could so coldheartedly joke like that, but seeing that Jack appreciated it, he shrugged the feeling of and, clenching his fingers around the two rings, walked back through the crowd, avoiding everyone's eyes.

The drums rolled again.

x x x x x x x x

Hours passed. Elizabeth spent this time between checking on Imogen and walking towards the balcony, staring down at the city as if she could will the houses to become transparent to enable her to see the main square down at the docks.

She should go. And she knew she couldn't. She should go and have one last look at him, but she couldn't. She couldn't watch him die.

Behind her, the clock struck noon.

Wrenching her hands and unable to hold back her tears any more, she stood on the balcony and stared down towards the docks. She knew what would happen. She knew the sounds, she had heard it all too often during all the years of living here. She had never given it much thought, yet today, she could only grip the barrister in front of her and listen to the drums.

The drums would stop and the trapdoor would open. She would hear the people watching the hanging cry out in excitement, and then there would follow the heavy silence of death before the mass of people would disperse again and go back to their daily traits.

It was always the same, and Elizabeth closed her eyes to keep her tears from falling, but of course, it didn't work. Throwing back her head, she send a desperate prayer to god, begging him to take care of the soul of Captain Jack Sparrow.

„He was a good man", she whispered.

The drums fell silent.

The crowd jeered.


	11. Chapter 11

Insert standart disclaimer here.

------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 11**

The soft chiming of the clock dragged Elizabeth back into the here and now. She counted the strokes and was rather suprised it was already midnight, lost in her thoughts, she had not realised how much time had passed.  
_So much time has passed,_ she repeated in thought._ So much time wasted. So much time. _Years spent in denial of a feeling that would not let surpress itself. And today, hours in misery at the fact that by now, when she had finally admitted it's existence, it was no longer appropriate.

Elizabeth brought her hands to her face and covered her eyes. To think of it, to even imagine it caused her almost physical pain, but there was no denying the grim truth. She herself had listened to the execution, and Will had even been there.

_„I could do nothing. There were too many people, too many soldiers."_

She slowly got up and started to pace back and forth in her room. But no matter what she did, she could think of nothing else.

_„He died with a smile on his lips."_

He had told her about the rings, and in the dim moonlight filtering through the open window, Elizabeth looked at her hands. Small, slender, elegant hands they were, the hands of a lady who never in her life had worked for her living. And on these hands, pale and looking almost like marble in the moonlight, the golden ring in the shape of a dragon with an emerald for an eye seemed oddly out of place.

Yet she had not hesitated for a second when Will had given her this ring, although she had hardly been able to slip it on her finger. Will had not questioned her tears but had, instead, wordlessly taken her into his arms and held her for a while until she had calmed down. Then he had sat her down in an armchair, had fetched a bottle of wine and two glasses, poured a glass for each of them and had sat down opposite of her.

And finally, after almost twenty years, Elizabeth had broken her silence.

During the following long, painful hours she had told Will the story of her life, of Will's life, and of the role Jack had played in their lives. And they, in his. He had listened stoically, neither saying a word nor moving a muscle in his face, and only moved at all to refill the glasses. And after that, he had left her alone, telling her he needed time to think about all this, but before leaving her, he had thanked her that she finally had told him about his father and why there seemed to be all these strange myths surrounding his remembrance.

This had been hours ago, and Elizabeth had spent them sitting in that armchair, reliving all the moments she could remember, trying to find the day, the hour, the moment, the word, where it had all gone wrong. But all the ‚why's and ‚what-if's did not change the fact that he was gone and could not douse the fires of pain and guilt devouring her soul.

Turning her back to the window, she covered her face with her hands again and let her tears flow, for holding them back seemed just a waste of strength and didn't have any effect, in any case. So it was that, as she stood there, sobbing softly into her hands, she did not see the hands grabbing the barrister in front of her open window, nor did she hear the sound as someone pulled themselves up onto the balcony.

Elizabeth dropped her hands and stared at the wall. „Why did I have to watch you die twice, Jack", she whispered between sobs, clenching her fists in agony.  
„Three's the charm, Lizzie", a hoarse, rasping voice sounded out behind her, and feeeling her heart skip a beat, Elizabeth spun around and almost fainted.

Crossing his arms with a lopsided grin, he took a step forward so that the moonlight coming through the window shone on his face. Frozen in horror, Elizabeth swallowed and clutched her throat with one hand, using the other to support herself by holding on to the back of a chair. After what seemed like an eternity, Elizabeth finally managed to speak. „I promised", she whispered. „I promised to take care of her, and I will do so. You can rest in peace, Jack. We will let no harm befall her."

„Oh, I didn't doubt ye would", he rasped, making her wince at the sound of his voice. Even in the moonlight, she could see the marks of the rope around his neck, dark bruises and scraped skin.  
„Then why did you come?", Elizabeth forced out, her voice almost inaudible even to her own ears. He smiled wryly and took another step forward.  
„I forgot me hat", he said and reached for it. It was lying on the bookshelf next to Elizabeth, and she felt her knees go strangely weak as she watched him putting it on. „And I hate to tell ye that I am, in fact, not dead, Lizzie."

Elizabeth had to lean back against the wall for support. She desperately tried to think of something to say, but the only thing she could drag out of her racing mind and form into words was stating the bloody obvious. „But… but they hanged you…"  
Jack adjusted his hat and looked at her again. „Aye, that they did. But it so just happened that they didn't kill me in the process."  
She shook her head in what was a mixture of confusion and fear and even a flicker of hope. „But… how?"

Jack shrugged and immediately winced in pain. He let his shoulders drop very slowly before he spoke, making her shudder again at the labouring, rasping way he spoke. „With the help of a little, inconspicious item that I obtained, quite a while ago, from a mutual friend whom you might remember as a lady once living in a swamp", Jack said and cleared his throat a couple of times. „Yet I never used it until a couple of years ago."

Elizabeth swallowed and cleared her throat in sheer sympathy, shaking her head as she still did not understand what he was going on about. She remembered the woman called Tia Dalma, and also what she really had been, or rather, what she was. Only what she would have to do with…  
Jack grinned weakly and took another step towards her. „Try and strangle me, luv."  
Elizabeth blinked.  
"Oh will ye. I'm sure there was a time when ye've wanted to do it badly enough."

Hesitatingly, her hands trembling like dry leaves in the wind, Elizabeth reached out and closed her hands around his neck. Yet while the fact that she felt neither nothing nor coldness, but warm, living flesh was reassuring, the sensation under his skin, however, was not. She flinched back as if she had burned her fingers. „Holy god, what is that?"

Jack cleared his throat again and winced before he spoke, lowering his voice into a hoarse whisper. Talking obviously caused him pain. „A small brass tube in my windpipe, luv."

Elizabeth stared at him with a blank feeling of incomprehension.

„I rammed it down me throat", Jack explaiend patiently. „Not very nice, though. I puked me guts out and coughed blood for a couple of weeks. But it's handy, ain't it? Prevents me suffocating to death as long as I manage not to break my neck while falling. Although it isn't very pleasant to dangle there without moving, and they took their bloody time getting me down there this time."

„This time?", was all Elizabeth was able to say. This time?  
„Oh, aye", he gave back with a rueful smile. „I've been hanged two times so far."  
„Two… times", Elizabeth said weakly and watched his face transform into that exasperating grimace of self-righteousness she had loathed so much… but right now, it almost made her cry with relief to see him look at her like that. He lifted one brow when he looked at her but seemingly wasn't able to identify her feelings.  
„Oh, aye. Ye can't kill Jack Sparrow with a rope, luv."  
Elizabeth felt a smile spread on her lips despite herself as she watched him starting to pace back and forth. „Then how can you kill Jack Sparrow at all?", she asked.

He stopped pacing and slowly turned around again. The smile was gone from his lips as well as from his eyes when he stared at her, and Elizabeth felt something cold rund down her spine. „By betrayal", he said darkly, and she took another step back, bumping into the wall again.  
„Ye killed Jack Sparrow by betrayal", he added, and it took Elizabeth a few seconds to realize that he had used the past tense. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling, desperately trying to think of something to say.  
„I'm sorry Jack", she said finally. The only thing that came to her mind, and the only thing he would maybe, just maybe, be able to believe. „I'm sorry. I was sorry all the time. I was haunted by it, directly after I did what I did, and all the time, all the years, that followed."  
„Haunted, were ye", he whispered. „Haunted."

Elizabeth tried to straighten herself up. „Is that why you came, Jack? To accuse me of my betrayal? After all those years?"  
„Sounds silly, now that ye say it", he muttered, then crossed his arms and stared at her. „Yes, that's why I came. To accuse ye of betrayal and await what ye would say."  
She stared back at him for a while and then took a step forward again. How many times had she imagined herself in this situation, or at least similar to this one? To be able to say it, to finally say it, maybe even in the hopes he would eventually believe her?

„I'm sorry, Jack", she said again. „I am sorry, and was it ever since."

Neither of them moved nor spoke for a while, but Elizabeth could see a turmoil of feeling behind his eyes. But overlaying everything she saw a coldness, a harshness, the bitternes of being betrayed along with the pain of being betrayed by her.

„Can I ever make you forgive me?", she asked in a whisper, her vision blurring with tears. He didn't move nor speak, and Elizabeth slowly went down to her knees before him, grabbing the hem of his coat. „Can I ever make you forgive me?", she asked again, staring up at him, into his unreadable face and unfathomable eyes. „Jack", she whispered. „I beg you to forgive me."  
He stared down at her for what seemd like an endless moment, then suddenly his face grew soft and he sighed. „Get ye up, Lizzie. Don't ye kneel in front of a scumbag like meself." Then he took her hands and helped her up, shaking his head. „Bloody, stupid, touchy, softhearted, silly old…"  
„Pirate?"  
He cocked an eyebrow and she flashed him a tiny, hopeful smile. He stared at her for a second, then snorted and grinned. „Aye, that's what I am, luv. A bloody, stupid, touchy, softhearted, silly, old pirate."

After a few moments of silence, he sighed and held out his arm to her. „Take a walk with me, Lizzie", he said, and despite feeling afraid of him being caught again, she slipped her arm through his and walked with him down the stairs, out of the backdoor and along the path that led down to the beach.

It was a cloudless, windstill night and the full moon, a huge, silvery orb, hung low in the dark, silken sky. They walked down to the water's edge and Jack pointed at the moon and the reflection of her light on the water, a long, flickering band of light, reaching for the horizon.

„See that, Lizzie?", he asked softly, and she nodded, looking up at him. „That's the stairway to heaven, Lizzie. Ye only see it when the moon's full and hanging low, and only when there's neither wind nor waves."  
Elizabeth moved her eyes away from Jack's face and looked at the water again. „Stairway to heaven?"  
„Aye", he whispered. „Ye can't go there if ye're still alive, ye know. Being heaven and all. But the stairway, ye see, holds a bit of the heaven, and of all it's magic."  
She looked back at Jack again. „I never knew you could be that romantically poetic, Jack."  
He didn't look at her but stared out at the silver ribbon of moonlight again. „I'm a sailor, luv. We all are. We just prefer not letting it be known, lest someone laughs at us." He shot her a glance with a half-way grin. „Be a shame if we'd have to go shooting people all the bloody time, savvy?"

She had to smile at his words as well as at his expression, so familiarly half annoying, something she had missed more than she had even realised herself before seeing it again. He let go of her arm and fully turned around to look at her. She studied his face, half iluminated by pale moonlight, half cast in shadows, as he spoke again.  
„And do ye see how it never touches the shore?"  
She nodded, unable to speak.  
"No matter how far ye swim, ye'll never reach it. But with a ship… aye, with a ship, ye can. And while ye never can go there while still alive, with a ship, ye can touch at least the stairway to heaven."  
„Why do you tell me these things?", she whispered, captivated by his words as much as by his eyes. He smiled softly and took both her hands in his. "Sail away with me, Lizzie."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, feeling pain sear through her heart as if it was being pierced by a dagger. She didn't even try to stop the tears that flowed out from under her closed lids and only opened her eyes when he put a finger under her chin and lifted her head, giving her a questioning look. "I can't", she said simply. „I'm sorry Jack. I can't say how much I'd love to, but I can't."  
„Why?"  
„Why? God, Jack, look at me. I never did anything else in my life than sit around and do needlework or read a book. I can't live on a ship. I'd die of either scurvy or bilge-fever, unable to drink the water or eat the food. What would you do with me?"

Jack slowly leaned back a little and shook his head. „Lizzie... I've seen ye overcome monsters, shoot men, fight with a sword and sail a ship yerself through a storm. Ye're strong, Lizzie. Ye're a strong woman." But it sounded more like a plead than a statement and Elizabeth tried to swallow the lump in her throat and shook her head.  
„I was", she said. „I was a strong woman. Twenty years ago, Jack, but not any more. I am too old. It's too late."  
„Ye're not old", Jack croaked, then cleared his throat. „Ye're younger than me!"  
She shrugged, and he took her hands in both of his. „But you have never left the sea in all those years, while I tried all I could to forget about her."

He mutely looked at her for a while, then let go of her hands and slowly turned around. Feeling her own heart break for him she watched him walk a few steps and sit down on a rock, staring motionlessly out across the sea. She walked up behind him and saw him hunch his shoulders ever so slightly.

„I just remember what ye've told me in Tortuga", he said. „About how ye never loved me."  
„No", she said, but he didn't turn around. „No, Jack, I said I had never dared to love you."  
„So what's the difference?" He still didn't turn, and Elizabeth finally gave in to the urge to touch him and took his hat off, dropping it beside her. He still didn't move, but sighed as she gently started kneading the cramped, knotted muscles in his shoulders.  
„Two sides of a coin", she said as she ran a hand down a strand of his hair. „The gentle man I loved." Then she sifted three of his dreadlocks through her fingers. „And the wild man I desired."

He chuckled softly and got up, turning around very slowly. „Isn't love and desire usually coming together?"

Elizabeth shrugged and reached out for his face. He didn't move to prevent her touching him, nor did he lean any closer. He watched her with an almost expressionless face as she caressed the contures of his face with her fingers.  
"I thought so. Love and desire. They come together, like two sides of a coin." A ghost of a smile flickered on his face and Elizabeth smiled and wound one of the braids of his beard around her finger.  
„And then ye flick it", he whispered. „Ye flick it and see that one side is empty."

She blinked and let go of his beard, and when he looked at her, she was suddenly as captured in his eyes as he seemed in hers. She slowly shook her head as he put his arms around her waist. „No", she said, in a whisper, as well, resting her hands on his shoulders. „Both sides show the same."  
„Do they? Bit obvious and rather stupid, producing a dud like that." He grinned at her and she shook her head with a sigh that was half-amused, half-annoyed.

„Ye know", he went on, leaning slightly forward. „All those years I was torn between shooting ye dead when I'd see ye again or…"  
„Or…?"  
„Or stealing another kiss of ye, luv."  
She chuckled softly. „You wouldn't have to steal it, Jack. I'd give it freely."

He bowed his head forward and searched her eyes, and even though she was smiling, she was certainly not joking. Her face was so close he could feel her breath on his skin, escaping from her slightly parted lips. Bringing his face even closer to hers, he could feel the warmth of her body emanating from her skin and for a second, drank in the vision of her face, eyes closed and lips parted, before he closed his eyes and met her lips with his.

She responded almost instantly by burying her hands in his hair and opening her lips to him. He pressed her body close to his own as he kissed her, tasting her lips, her tongue, and only realising after some time that the salt he was tasting must be her tears. He slowly leaned back, parting from her lips only very reluctantly, to look at her.  
She was crying. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and yet she was smiling so sweetly and so happily that he had to kiss her again, to taste her again, to feel her again, and maybe even to stop her tears. She responded to his kiss with a passion that suprised him, and she clung to him with what seemed desparation.

He leaned back again to take a breath and to see if she had stopped crying yet, but she hadn't. Yet she smiled at him, and the way she did it plugged his heartstrings. She had never smiled at him like that before and suddenly, the agony of being hanged seemed a small price to pay if this was what he got in return.  
"Sail away with me, Lizzie", he said again, feeling he knew the answer he would get but also feeling he had to ask, nontheless. And as he expected, she shook her head.  
„Why?", he asked. „Because love and desire are not the same?"  
„Love and desire", she said, running a finger down his cheek. „Love and desire are two sides of a coin. And I flipped it and I made the wrong choice."

„Ye said ye loved him."  
"I did."  
"Say it or love him?"  
„Both."

Elizabeth laid her hands on his shoulders again and he couldn't possibly not put his arms around her waist and back as she did so. She smiled softly at him and he cocked an eyebrow in expectancy. „I have made the wrong choice", she repeated. „But no matter what I do or what I wish for, It won't bring the time back I've lost. But at least I can admit it now. I've made the wrong choice."  
"In marrying the… Will?"

„You know", she said almost leisurely, playing with one of his dreadlocks. „I almost expected, indeed, maybe I almost hoped you would intervene."  
"What… the ‚or-remain-forever-silent'-bit?"  
She nodded.  
He gave her a long stare under raised eyebrows. „And what would ye've done if I had? Ye'd probably only have slapped me and married him all the same."  
„Do you think so?"  
„I don't know, luv. Would ye?"

Elizabeth shrugged and rested her head against his shoulder. „I certainly wouldn't have married you, you insufferable pirate. But maybe I wouldn't have married Will and stayed onboard of my ship instead."  
„And let him die?"  
She looked up at him, into his dark, brown eyes that, at this moment, seemed to try to look into her deepest soul. She took a deep breath. „Let him die?"

Jack tilted his head. „Were you ever aware that I only gave up the heart because I didn't want to see yours broken?"  
„You did it for me, not for him", she said, and it didn't really sound like a question.  
"Have I ever done something for him?"  
„If I asked you to…"  
„Precisely."

Elizabeth swallowed and tried to hold on under his gaze and not look away. „And have you ever done something because he asked you to?"  
A corner of his mouth twitched and he gave her a small, bitter smile. „Yes. When he told me you were facing the gallows."  
„You wouldn't have helped him if it had been only him?"  
"I doubt it."  
"Not only if ye would have thought about how it would affect me?"  
He sighed. „Probably then", he said.  
"I see where this is going", Elizabeth whispered after a while and caressed his eyebrow with her thumb. „All you ever did and went through was, to some extend, for me."  
"It looks like it was." He closed his eyes.  
„But why?"  
„Because I wanted ye?"  
„I realised that, but it only upset me at that time."  
"Can't for the life of me think of a reason why", he muttered and opened his eyes again. „But if ye knew, then why do ye ask?"  
She shrugged. „As likely I ask myself as much as you. But the plain truth is, I couldn't admit to myself at loving one man and desiring a pirate."

„I should've kissed you on that island", he mutterd and leaned forward, planting a careful kiss on her forehead.  
"I'd have slapped you", she murmured and closed her eyes.  
"Ye were too drunk to hit anything smaller than a barn door, luv"  
„So I wouldn't even have remembered." She smirked and Jack grinned.  
„Oh, I'd have made ye remember, luv."

They both looked at each other for a while. A lot had been said tonight, and a lot was still being said in this long silence that now hung between them when it was only their eyes that spoke. Finally, he gently kissed her and then shook his head. „Ye should've stayed on a ship, luv."  
"I should have. But I didn't."  
„What a waste."  
"Waste indeed."

He looked at her again, and felt his own sadness being reflected in her eyes. What a time it could have been, what a glorious time, two pirates sharing the sea between them alone. But it had never come to pass. It had never been meant to be.Ot maybe it had been meant to be and only their petty human feelings, fears and resentments had destroyed what could have been. With a sigh, he took a step back and dug a hand into one of the bags hanging from his belt.

„Here." He extended a hand to her and dropped something into her hand. „A present", he said. „Open it when ye're at home."  
"Will you stay here, then?"  
"I've got an appointment", he said. „Hopefully. But if they managed to hold on to our agreement, they should be here any minute."  
„They?"  
„My crew, luv. They had their orders. They'll come and pick me up."  
Elizabeth closed her fingers around the little packet and nodded. „I see."

„Farewell for now, Lizzie", he said and kissed her again. „See that ye're home before anyone notices yer absence, it would tarnish yer reputation." He winked at her when she rolled her eyes. „Think of me now and then, and I'll promise, it won't be as long as the last time when next we meet."

She took a few steps backward and tried to smile, but the bittersweet feeling of finally having tasted the forbidden fruit only to be forced to let go of it again made her hesitate.

„Off ye go", Jack said gently. „And tell Imogen I'll be back for her."

Elizabeth nodded and turned around, leaving him, the shore and the sea behind. _For now,_ she told herself firmly. She would see him again. She would kiss him again. And while that might well be all she would ever do, it was more than she had ever hoped for.

One more kiss… and once was never enough, but she couldn't take more than was due to her. She slowly walked up the path, and when she turned and looked back, she saw a ship with dark sails leave the bay and head for the horizon that was glowing softly with the first light of breaking dawn.

Bidding him a safe journey wherever he might go, Elizabeth swallowed her tears and opened the package in her hand. In it was a small, rather non-descript round locket with hardly any decoration apart a carved motif of a ship on the front. She cautiously opened it.

Taking a deep breath to calm her soul and keep the freshly welling tears at bay, she stared towards the horizon again where the ship was growing smaller and smaller against the golden dawn. Then she looked down again, at the locket padded with a lining of white silk, containing the treasure Jack had given her.

A black pearl.


	12. Chapter 12

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Author's note: I've never experienced opium, but I've read about it. It's supposed to induce nightmares and very unpleasant hallucinations if you overdose it, but basically, I'm making everything up. I'm no medic.

------------------------------------

**Chapter 12**

The world is black and grey, and red and fuzzy around the edges. Her head hurts. Words rise from somewhere_… knocked out…_

„…payment…."

She can do nothing. Not even say it isn't her fault… her mouth is clogged…

„…get my repayment… make him pay…"

He wasn't talking to her…

„I'll get my repayment. If he thinks he can do this as often as he likes I'll have to prove him wrong. Thank him for this, lass. It's his fault I had to resort to such means to get of him what is mine. I'll make him pay."

_Whose fault? _

„He knows me, lass. He knows I'll not tie ye up and watch ye."

_What is he going to do with me?_

„But don't ye worry. I'll leave ye in one piece. For now."

He hits her with the back of his hand. It stings, but it is more annoying than it is painful. What is frightening is the expression on his face. Blank. Emotionless. As if she was nothing more than a fly.

„We've got some time to pass, lass. Might as well have some fun."

He rips the gag from her mouth and the corners of her mouth tear and start to bleed, but he ignores this and presses a small bottle to her lips. She does not want to swallow, but her hands are tied and he holds her head down. Her mouth is full of bitter-sweetish, sticky syrup. But she can't do anything. She can swallow or suffocate. She swallows, almost throwing it up again. His hand is pressed on her face, if she throws it up, she'll suffocate as well. She has to keep swallowing it, and suddenly, her mouth and stomach go numb. The hand is gone.

„Good girl."

Her body grows numb.

„Let's see how you enjoy that. Maybe he can patch ye up again when he comes for you."

_Bait. I'm bait._

The last thing she registers is that he is tearing off her clothes. Everything else dissapears into a slowly dispersing haze that clouds her mind.

_Jack…_

x x x x x x x x

Eyes stare at her. Big eyes. Blue eyes, or are they green? Huge, huge orbs of sheer malice.

Laughter. Coarse, rough laughter.

Pain. Her body screams in pain. Her mouth can not. She is numb… she can not make a sound. Her body screams in pain.

Hands grabble at her. Hundreds of hands reach for her and touch her, grab her, squeeze her, pinch her. Everywhere. There is not one spot on her body where they aren't. They are searing cold and they are scalding hot. She burns with cold or heat. She does not know. She only knows the pain. And she can not scream.

The voice.

"He won't come any more. He's left ye. Ye'll have to stay with me, then."

„I thought he'd care enough about ye to come and bargain. But it seems his skin is more worth to him than yer life."

„He's a coward. Dirty, selfish coward. He won't come any more. You're all alone now."

There are bits in between, she knows. She thinks. But she can not keep hold of them.

Only that someone is supposed to come for her…

And that he does not come.

She drowns. Keeps drowning. She tries not to breathe... Then she suddenly surfaces, and there are more words. That cold voice. That voice. And those eyes. And then she sinks again. Only to be dragged up again.

Time's over."

She stares into the maw of death, in a big, black, gaping hole. She is afraid, and she know that she is looking death into the face. He has not come.

Blackness.

Someone calls her. Calls her… calls her name. She has a name… „Imogen." That voice… is not _the_ voice. It is another voice. A good voice. She knows that voice. She knows him. He will not hurt her. Never. He is… „Imi, luv. Look at me."

„Imogen…" She has a body again. A body full of pain… but there is air. She is no longer drowning, and there is that voice. The good voice… „Daddy?" _She_ has a voice again. „Daddy?"

„I'm here, luv. I'll get ye home." Home…The voice fades. Silence… and blackness. The void! She drowns again! No… No! „Where are ye?" He is gone! He must come back! „Where are ye?"

Air. A hand. A gentle hand. No pain. No grabbing. No fire, no ice. There is light around her vision… there is a world around the blackness. And a voice…. That voice! The good voice… her father's voice! „I'm here, luv. It's allright." It's over. The void has spit her out… Or has it? Is he here? Was he ever here? How long… He should have been here… She was told he should… he will come for me… but he didn't come… „Where have ye been, daddy? Where have ye been? Why didn't ye come?"

„I came as fast as I could, luv." His voice brings light into the blackness and warmth into the cold void. She tries to cling to it. She does not want to drown in that void. It still sucks at her, pulls at her, drags her down. She must not let go of that voice. But there is that other voice. It shouts. And this voice is only a whisper. _He's a coward._ _Dirty, selfish coward. He won't come any more. You're all alone now._

"He said ye wouldn't come."

It is a whisper, but she clings to it. „Here I am." She clings to it. Far away, there is a rhythmic sound, coming closer, then the world shifts. The sound… A heart. It is a heart. She can hear a heart beating. He has come. Her father has come. But the void sucks her back, she can not fight it.

Pain. Pain filling her soul. Screaming at her from the inside of her body. Bright, blinding light, it hurts, it hurts!! But there is something warm flowing into her body. Soothing warm. The pain subsides. For now.

Hands, grabbing her. Eyes… huge… evil… huge, evil eyes. Staring! They are searching for her! They find her!! She can not hide, and the eyes see her! No… please, no, go away, I don't want to, go away… but there are the eyes. They have found her. The eyes fill the world. There is nothing else apart from these huge, evil eyes until the void sucks her in again.

x x x x x x x x

Two voices.  
One is evil, harsh and frightening. It is screaming at her.  
The other is warm and friendly. It whispers.

It fades.

_Don't go away! Stay! Don't go! Jack! Don't leave me! Jack! Daddy!_

„Don't go away!"  
„Imogen…"  
"Stay!"  
Billy leaned over her and wiped her forehead with a moist rag. She had stared to toss and turn, and suddenly, she had uttered the first coherent words he had heard her say since Jack had dropped her off.  
"Imogen, love…"  
„Don't go!"  
„I'm not going anywhere", Billy said, holding on to her hands. „I'm here…"  
„Jack!"

Bill suddenly grew cold. She wasn't calling for him. She was calling for her father… he had to swallow heavily. What on earth could he possibly tell her? That he had watched her father hang? He shook his head in mute denial, what the hell was he supposed to do now? He couldn't tell her that her father was dead! He couldn't… and he knew very well he had to. What could he do? Jack wasn't here and never would be again…"It's Billy, Imogen, I'm here. Billy."  
„Don't leave me!"  
He realised with a growing sense of dread that with every word, her voice held more and more anguish.  
„Jack!"  
„Imogen…" He gathered her up into his arms and pressed her head against his chest. „Imogen, wake up, love. Please, wake up…"  
„Daddy!"  
His stomach clenched and he gritted his teeth. „Shh, it's all right, love. He'll be here soon." But it wouldn't be all right, would it? It would never be all right again. He would nurse her and care for her, and as soon as she was strong again, he would have to break her heart.

He rocked her back and forth, almost crying himself when he thought of her anguish, and suddenly he realised that she had fallen silent. He slowly leaned back a little and looked at her. She had opened her eyes and stared straight ahead, but her pupils where finally normal-sized again, not the pin-point tiny dots he had seen with people using opium, like hers had been last night. She gasped, and tears were streaming down her face. Could she see him? Could she hear him?  
"Imogen?"  
She blinked and gasped for air again, then her eyes slowly focussed and she turned her head to look at him. She actually looked at him. „Billy?"  
„Imogen", Bill said softly. „Thank god you're awake."  
„Where's Jack?", she asked hoarsely, and Billy swallowed. But as he was about to think of a convenient lie, he heard steps and turned his head. His mother had come in, god knows when, he hadn't even realised.

„He's on sea, Imogen", Elizabeth said gently. „He risked his life bringing you here and had to leave as fast as he could. He sailed away, but he asked me to tell you he will come back for you."  
Imogen swallowed and nodded. Bill looked at his mother, but she just returned his gaze, her face unreadable. He had never guessed her capable of lying in such a manner, but then, he had learned a lot about his mother the day before. It certainly was better for Imogen right now. And it was a lie that was easily believed.  
He took a deep breath. Until she would overhear some servant or another gossiping about the hanging of a pirate captain who had been giving the navy the slip since more than twenty years. And about the young blacksmith who had taken two of his rings.

A heavy silence hung in the air for a while and suddenly, he felt Imogen grow stiff in his arm, then she squirmed and wound herself out of his embrace. He looked at her, blinking in confusion, but she stared at him as if he was covered in bile. He had never seen such a look of revulsion and felt almost as if she had run him through with a sword.  
„Imogen?", he asked with a slightly shaky voice.  
"Don't touch me", she said coldly. „Don't ye ever touch me again. I don't ever want to be touched again! By no one! Go away! Leave me alone!" She let herself fall back and pulled the blanket up under her chin.

Bill swallowed and exchanged a glance with his mother who dropped her hands with a sad sigh and nodded. Feeling strangely numb inside, he slowly got up and left the room, feeling like a dog that has been kicked by his master without knowing the reason why. How could she look at him that way? He had never done anything to harm her!  
He slowly closed the door behind him, and the last thing he saw of her was her cold and hateful stare into his direction as his mother sat down on the chair beside her.

Bill shuddered. What had he done to deserve that? He only wanted to help her… and now she looked at him as if he had been the one responsible for all her suffering. He slowly walked down the stairs and left through the backdoor, walking down the path through the garden to the far end where a small bench stood under a large and leaning tree he didn't know the name of. It was in bloom the whole year through, sprouting green, tiny leaves and white, tiny flower that emanated a lovely fragrance. But neither flowers nor fragrance was what made him slump down on the bench; it was the fact that the hanging branches shielded him from any eyes who might look into his direction.

For when he finally slumped down with his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands, he could face the anguish at her sudden hate for him.

It had almost made him cry to see her so weak and broken, and the tiny bit his mother knew and had told him had done the same to him. She had tossed and turned and moaned and screamed, clearly haunted by nightmares and memories and drug-induced horrors and it had almost made him cry. Almost.

But now, seeing her stare at him with unmasked revulsion and hate, now Billy could no longer hold back his tears. He tried focussing on the shame about the tears rather than on the pain that caused them, but to no avail.

x x x x x x x x

It was a cloudless, wind still night. No breeze stirred whatsoever, so they had decided to just drop the anchor and wait for the wind to come back. While his crew had occupied themselves during the day, doing all the odds and ends that need doing on a ship, all the smaller and larger repairs, Jack himself had never left the helm, not even when they had dropped anchor. Now it was dark, the moon was a fine sickle hanging high above him, and Jack stood at the bow of the Black Pearl, leaning on the railing. He stared out into the star-dusted infinity above him and tried to sort out the turmoil in his soul.  
He thought of Imogen. It was so easy, sometimes, to think of her as a woman, a random acquaintance, a close friend who knew him well. Yet it was a lie to himself, and a very ineffective one, at that. She was far more than that.

Why had he taken her? She had asked him that herself, and he couldn't have answered her that question. Maybe he could have. But facing that particular emotion… he hadn't quite felt able to do so. Then.  
Now, after almost having lost her, he was faced with another missed chance in his life. A near miss. A damned close shave. And he swore to himself as he stood there that he would tell her when he would see her again, no matter who was watching or listening.

The fact was, he had never cared much about people around him, for most of his life. And while there had been some of the whores in Tortuga (and in other places, occasionally) who had meant a little more than just a random few hours of fun, he had never been particularly fond enough of one specific lady to call it a feeling worth mentioning.

And then he had met Elizabeth Swann, daughter of the governor of Port Royal.

She had fascinated him. She was as iridescent as the shining inside of a mussel, like a pearl shimmering in all colours of the spectrum.

She had vexed him, because of her denial of what she could be, maybe even should.

She had attracted him. She was a beauty, and proud in a way that no whore could ever be, and he had wanted her very, very badly. And he had never stopped wanting her… not even after her ultimate, bitter betrayal.

And she had even killed him, too.

Maybe he shouldn't think of Will as a betrayal. At least, not for himself. For her, more likely. She had betrayed herself. She had, finally, admitted as much. She had made the wrong choice, she had said. And he had, after all, stolen another kiss of her rather than shooting her dead. Which would have been pretty stupid after giving Imogen to her to take care of…

With a mental wrench, he dragged his thoughts back onto the track he had meant to take.

He had never particularly cared for anyone before he had met Elizabeth, and from that day on, his life had seemed to be slowly thrown out of joint. And the more he had wanted her, the more she had shied and turned away from him. Maybe his wanting her so much had driven her into Will's arms, maybe it was her fear of what she wanted that had done it, or maybe she had loved Will after all. Which was what she had said. She had loved Will. And she had desired him, Jack Sparrow.

He smirked. And here he'd never even guessed that. And if he had, would that have changed anything? Would he have tried harder for her to acknowledge him? He might. And it would, most likely, have had the contrary effect. But then, all of a sudden, all that had been taken care of, and she had vanished out of his life. So he had tried to forget about her, and what better to forget a woman than another one? And another… and another. And had it helped? Of course not. He shook his head with a bitter smile. Of course he had never been able to stop thinking about her.

And Heather had well known that. He couldn't say what had made her special. Maybe it was just that he felt lonely since Elizabeth had left his life. Maybe it was the way she smiled at him. She seemed to be genuinely fond of him and he had the feeling of deserving someone, at least for a while, who didn't look at him in despise. She was only a whore. But she was a pretty thing, had something other between her ears than hair and… yes, perfectly well yes, admit it you bloody fool, she had very well known what to do to a man's body to make him feel like the king of the world. So he had started telling her he loved her. And she had pretended to believe it.

And then came the day that had changed his life more dramatically than the day he had met Elizabeth… Or at least to the same degree. He had come back to Tortuga after a couple of months and had found her with a swelling belly.

She was a whore, but he had seen to it that she, since she was his for the time being, would not necessarily have to take on other customers. It was a nice thing to have a woman all for your self…

And this had made it slightly more credible when she had told him the child was his.

„_It's yours, Jack, I swear."  
_„_Sweetheart, by all means… not to insult ye, but ye're a whore, remember?"  
_"_I do remember." Her voice was bitter. „I remember very well. But do you remember you paid me not to be a whore for a while until ye tire of me?"  
__He crossed his arms, but could not deny that. „Very well. So it's mine. Why didn't ye go and get rid of it, like ye all do?"  
__She avoided his eyes and shrugged. „I wanted to ask you first, Jack."  
_"_Me?" He started pacing back and forth. „Me? What by the devil's hairy arse and his grandma's knickers should I care?"  
__She looked up again. „Because it's yours? Your flesh and blood? Maybe your son, even?"  
__He grunted. But now it was too late, there she was, heavy with child because he had taken his bloody time in coming back… or maybe because she had been stupid enough to believe he cared… which he didn't… but…  
__But…_

But he had.

All of a sudden, he had cared. Looking at her, at her belly that held his child, he suddenly felt he cared. And for the first time in his life, Jack Sparrow had accepted to bear the responsibility for his actions. He had bought Heather a little house. He had given her money to provide for her and pay for a midwife. But he had left her again shortly afterwards because he could not bear to be near her any more. Not because he had disliked her or despised her. Because he had been afraid.

He cared. He cared while he really, really shouldn't. It made him vulnerable. He had been afraid it would make him vulnerable, but how vulnerable it had made him, he had only realised a couple of days ago.

He had come back to Tortuga months later, and when he had hesitatingly loitered outside the little house, Heather had suddenly stepped out with a basket in one arm and a bundle of cloth in the other. He had given her a little present, a necklace made from carved wood and small, polished seashells. Heather had accepted it with a smile and had pressed the bundle of cloth into his arms.

The bundle had looked at him.

And at that moment, a small and cruelly sharp knife had slowly inserted itself into Jack Sparrow's heart. He had hastily given the child back to her and walked away in what was almost a run, not even bothering to ask if it was a boy or a girl. But it was too late. No matter where he would ever run or sail, it was too late.

He had cursed himself. He had cursed himself for a soft-hearted fool. He had drunk himself senseless to make himself forget that face and the feeling it had invoked.

And the next day, he had found himself in front of her door again.

"_I'm sorry, Jack, it's not a son. It's a girl."  
_„_No help for that."  
_„_I named her Imogen."  
_"_It's a nice name."  
__She sighed angrily. „Is there something else ye want?"  
__He stared at her. „Will ye marry me?"  
__Heather took a deep breath and shook her head. „No."  
_"_Why?" Taken aback, he crossed his arms. _

"_Because you know, and I know, that I'm a whore and naught more. I'm grateful for ye generosity because of the child. It's more than the likes of me can hope for. But I'm not going to bind ye to me and make ye hate me."  
_"_I…"  
_"_Jack, no."  
__He fell silent, knowing she was right. He couldn't even say why he had asked her. „I love ye, Heather."  
__She stepped forward and kissed his lips. „Aye, I love ye too, Jack."  
__He lied. She lied. And he knew she knew he lied, and she knew he knew she lied. __They kissed again, and Heather told him to sit down on the bench and pressed the baby into his arms again while she would be doing the washing._

_So he sat there, staring at the sleeping face of his daughter._

_His daughter. His child. _Damn ye, ye cursed fool. Damn ye to hell, you and yer bloody cock, ye've both got no more brain between the two of ye than a dead oyster…  
_Imogen opened her eyes and smiled. __Jack swallowed. _Bloody, bloody, bloody fool.

He had kept on coming. Regularly. And he had known he began to get on her nerves.

He kept telling her he loved her and that he wanted her to be his wife.  
She would snort and tell him to bugger off.

„Why don't ye take her on yer bloody ship if ye're so besotted with her?", she had asked him one day.

When he had come the next time, he had told Heather he wanted to take Imogen with him. She had looked at him, narrowed her eyes and wordlessly packed up a bag of stuff. She had given her daughter a kiss on each cheek and pressed her into his arms. „If she comes to harm, ye face a mother's curse, Jack Sparrow. But I'd rather part from her than have you loiter here like a dog begging for scraps under the table all the bloody time!"

Then she had gone inside, and only then Jack had realised that Heather really loved him. She had fallen in love with him, had born his child, and he did not love her. He had said he did. But he hadn't. And she had known. And at that point, he had known it, as well. He liked her well enough… but he would never love her. And that was not what she wanted. And he didn't blame her at all for never wanting to see him again. And from that day on…

„_What the hell is that, Jack?"  
_„_It's a baby, Gibbs."  
_„_Aye, I see that… what d'ye want with it here, for heaven's sake?"  
_„_Her."  
_"_Eh?"  
_„_It's a girl, Gibbs. Imogen. My daughter."  
_„_Yer… aye?" Gibbs hastily swallowed any comment about whores as he noticed Jack's stare. „Aye… aye, yer daughter. So what are ye going to do with her?"  
_"_Her mother didn't want her." Which wasn't completely true, he knew, but he couldn't possibly start explaining things to Gibbs he had not even be able to figure out for himself.  
_„_Why didn't ye get a wet-nurse for the mite?", Gibbs asked in dismay, but then Imogen flashed him her irresistible, two-toothed smile. _„_Aw, who's a sweetie then? Cooche coochee…" Gibbs tickled her under the chin and Imogen giggled. Jack pressed her into Gibbs arm's. „I seem to just have found one", he sad with a smirk and left.  
_"_Wh…? Hey! Cap'n…"  
__Jack walked off and shook his head with a grin.  
_"_Coochee coochee…_

It hadn't been easy, at first, but the whole crew had been besotted with the sweet little imp. Jack grimaced. A baby on a pirate ship. But that's where she had grown up. She had learned to walk on a ship and learned to talk (and swear) on a ship. Not knowing what else to do, he had taught her how to be a sailor and how to steer a ship, how to read maps and charts.  
He certainly couldn't have taught her how to sew, he thought with a wry grin. He hadn't done anything else than he would have had she been a boy, but just because he could think of nothing else.

And during all those years, the ever-present knife in his heart had carried the foreboding he had been able to ignore. Until a couple of days ago.

Until Barbossa had taken it by the hilt and had slowly twisted it around.

He knew that having her would make him vulnerable. But only now he had realised what it really meant. He had never before known that pain of the soul. It hurt. And thinking of her, her anguished face and empty eyes, he was suddenly very afraid that he would never heal again.


	13. Chapter 13

Insert standard disclaimer here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 13**

Bill had tried to keep out of her way during the last few days. It hadn't been easy for him, but he kept telling himself it hadn't been easy for her. She was far worse off than him.

She wouldn't see him. She refused to let him come near her, and would stare hatefully at him whenever he happened to pass her by… and he just couldn't stand it. So he packed a bag and moved down to the city, into his father's old smithy. There was a chamber at the back with a hearth, a table, chair and a bunk. It would do him for a while. How long that might ever be…

His mother had wordlessly let him go.

He lighted up the forge and got to work, just to do something to keep himself occupied, and maybe distract him for a tiny while from the memories of her eyes glowing with disgust. And now he stood there at the forge, stripped of vest and shirt, wearing an old, grimy leather apron, and hammered a piece of glowing iron into shape, focussing all his frustration, fear and fury into his hammer as it came down. Sparks flew from the forge and the anvil trembled under Bill's furious attacks. The clanging of the hammer filled his mind, and the glow of the iron filled his soul.

He forged a sword, tears streaming down his face as if he was beating his own soul into the blade, on an anvil of pain with a hammer of fury.

It wouldn't have surprised him, he thought as he dipped the blade into a bucket of water with a hiss, if it wouldn't stop glowing. He slowly lifted the blade and inspected it. It was still steaming with a soft sizzling noise. It was a fine blade… a good piece of craftsmanship.

With a shrug, Bill tossed the blade back into the forge.

x x x x x x x x

Elizabeth had let Will go; for she could very well see the exchange of looks between them and that there was nothing she could possibly do about it. For two or three days he had managed to face her occasional stare before he had fled, and she couldn't blame him. She herself had tried to get through to her, to talk to her, but Imogen had locked herself up in a place that no one could reach. She avoided her, as well, and spent most of the days outside in the garden, staring out over the city towards the sea.

Watching her, Elizabeth had the feeling that Jack should come back rather sooner than later. She had needed a safe place to recover, but her physical injuries were minor. It was her soul that had taken the greater damage, and no safe place in the world could heal those wounds.Yet the way she stared at the sea gave Elizabeth reason to believe that she might find herself again if she could go back. Back on a ship, back to the wilderness and the freedom of the ocean. Maybe… maybe she could get a message through to Jack. Tell him he should come back now and take her away. Take her back to sea.

With a deep breath and a nod to herself, Elizabeth left the garden to walk down into the city to talk to Bill.

He looked up from his anvil when she entered the forge, and for a moment, Elizabeth was painfully thrown back more than twenty years back into time. But it wasn't Will who was standing there at the anvil, as painfully alike as the two men looked.  
"Mother?"  
„Billy", she said, managing a smile. „I need to talk to you."  
He looked around for a chair, but all the furniture was rather grimy and full of ash and soot. With a shrug, Elizabeth waved this aside and took another step towards him.  
„Billy, I think it would be a good idea for you to go to Tortuga."  
"Tortuga?" He wiped his hands off on a wet rag and tilted his head. „Whatever for?"  
„To find Jack", she said simply.

He stared at her as if she had lost her mind. And to him, she likely had. She took a deep breath.  
„He is not dead, Billy."  
"Mother, for god's sake, I saw him hang!"  
"You did. But you didn't see him die."  
„Mother…"  
"Listen!"

And he listened. He stared at her as he did so, his eyes growing wider and his face growing paler with every passing second.

„Find him and bring him and his ship here", she finally said. „Or tell him to wait there for her. I've watched her the last days, Bill, She does nothing but stare at the sea. I think she has to go back."

„Back?", Bill asked after a while that he needed to digest all this, although perfectly aware of what she was talking about. Back to the sea. And away from him.  
Elizabeth nodded. „It be her soul's wounds paining her, and maybe, given back the freedom she had, she can find back to herself." Bill nodded slowly and thoughtfully picked up a pair of thongs, inspected them and put them back down again.  
„Billy", Elizabeth said with a sigh. „"I'm not meaning to take her away from you. But she can only find back to you when she finds back to herself. I don't know what has happened to her, and it seems like she doesn't even know, because she can't remember. Don't blame her, and don't blame yourself, either. Give it time. It may yet be all right again."  
Bill gave her a long, thoughtful look. „All right, he finally said. „I'll go to Tortuga. I'll bring him back."  
„Take care, Billy", she said with a smile. „But you're a strong soul."

He watched her go with a strange sensation of being pushed over the edge of a cliff.

But maybe he could grab a bush on the way to keep him from shattering to pieces.

x x x x x x x x

When Elizabeth came back, Imogen was gone.

Feeling a slight panic rise the very instant she could not find her in the garden, Elizabeth made her way through the house, looking into every room. She was nowhere, and Elizabeth gathered her servants to question them.

She had told them Imogen was the daughter of a friend who had been sent here after a long illness for a change of air to help her recover in the mild climate of Port Royal so they wouldn't start gossiping about her, as well. But servants tend to gossip about anything and everyone.

The story came to light very quickly.

Imogen had found the ring on the mantelpiece in her room. And of course, she had recognised it at once. Facing the maid who was just doing the dusting (the reason the ring had attracted her attention in the first place because the maid hadn't seen it and swept it down with her duster), the girl had told her the story of the hanging of the pirate captain and the young blacksmith whom he had told to give one of his rings to his sweetheart and how romantic that all was.

With a growing sense of dread, Elizabeth told a couple of her footmen to help her find her. They dispersed all over the place, and through half the city, but by nightfall, all of them came back empty-handed. Elizabeth slowly sank into the armchair in her bedroom. Billy was gone, as well, as one of the footmen had told her. He had left Port Royal with the noon-tide, and was now on his way to find Jack. And when he came back, with or without Jack, she would have to tell them that she was gone. She couldn't face that. She had to try everything else first.

The next morning, she went to the governor's residence and told him the story of a friend's daughter. He was clearly annoyed but polite and said he would issue the description of the young lady. Elizabeth thanked him and left, but with the feeling that he couldn't be of any help, even had he wanted to.

There still was no sign of her, and Elizabeth spent the next two weeks in anguish and desperation. Not even a trace of her could be found, no one had seen her, and even a search at the foot of the cliffs brought not a hair of her to light. She could have thrown herself of the cliff and vanished forever. She could have sneaked onto a ship. She could be anywhere.

And when Jack would come back, she wouldn't even be able to tell him if she was still alive or dead.

Two weeks and no news. Elizabeth knew that by now, the news couldn't be good any more. In her growing desperation, she started to wish for Jack to come back as soon as possible, just to have it over with. How could she tell him she had lost her? How could she face him She had promised to take care of her, and she had lost her, not even knowing if she was still alive or dead, not even knowing where she was.  
She had betrayed him again. Unknowingly and involuntarily, but she had betrayed him. She had given her word and had not been able to hold it. And this time, she was sure that nothing she could ever do or say would make him forgive her that easily again.

She watched the ships come and leave, but by now, she was so restless that she walked down to the dock several times a day to watch the ships dock and disembark.

The ship that lay there and was just being towed fast to the quay looked somehow familiar, but it was a frigate, a very common type of ship. It had new sails of pale, white cloth but she couldn't see a name. Maybe it was new, maybe it was freshly acquired and hadn't been baptized yet. The plank was extended and hit the quay and a man slowly walked down. It must be the captain, she thought, the way he held himself and looked around. And a well-off man he was. His clothes were finely made and brand-new, the buckles on his shoes were gleaming silver. He wasn't wearing a hat on his powdered wig, but he was as clearly the captain as the young lad who came walking behind him was his cabin boy.

Wait…

That was Billy!

He spotted her and waved.

„Mother", he said as he reached her, looking at her uncomfortably. „I have found… eh… a man to help us."  
What the hell was going on here? He was lying, or she wasn't his mother. „Billy?"  
The captain came sauntering over, flaunting his silver-knobbed black walking cane. He looked… oddly familiar.  
„Captain Jonathan McGuyre", Bill said with a forced grin. „My mother, Lady Elizabeth Turner-Swann."  
Elizabeth extended her hand and the captain took it with a flourish, bowed over it and brushed it with his lips.  
"Enchanted", he said, and Elizabeth almost fainted at the sound of his voice. „J… Jack…?"  
"I'm afraid you must be mistaken, madam", he said. „Jonathan is my name."

She stared at him. Silken stockings, silver buckles, powdered wig… and a cleanly shaven face. Still, even without the kohl-lining, there was no way she would ever not recognise his eyes. Yet he was clearly playing a charade here, and if he had even shaved to keep it up, she could do nothing else than play along although she didn't know right now if she felt more like laughing or crying at the sight of him.

"Oh, how embarrassing, Captain", she managed with a forced smile. „Please forgive me my blunder. Here, for a moment I thought you were someone else."  
„Forgiven", he said. „Although I honestly would not mind at having made the acquaintance of a lady as charming as you at an earlier time in my life, madam."  
„Captain MacGuyre", Elizabeth said, seeing the glint in his eyes and feeling the urge to slap him. „Please, since my son has introduced you to our situation and you have agreed to help us, a fact for which I am deeply grateful, will you do me the honour of being my guest for dinner as I fill you in with all the details?"  
„I can think of nothing I would rather do", he said and offered Elizabeth his arm. She slipped hers through and they made their way to Elizabeth's house, followed by Bill carrying a bag and a small leather trunk.

„What the hell are you up to coming here in the bright of day like that?", Elizabeth whispered. Jack smirked. „Being fed up with being hanged, that's what", he whispered back, keeping a completely blank face. „And since even you took almost a minute to recognise me, I think I'm well hidden right out in the open just now, don't ye think?"  
Elizabeth shook her head and felt her dread rise more and more the nearer they came to the house. Jack sensed this at one point ant stopped to lay a hand on her arm. „Lizzie, are you all right?"  
„No", she whispered back. „Go on. I'll tell you what happened when we're out of sight and earshot."  
„Of whom?" He walked on and she swallowed.  
"Everyone but Billy."

She felt him grow stiff and cursed herself. Yet he kept his countenance, kept it up during the arrival, the sherry and the dinner. Elizabeth had to admit at that point that he had the staunchest nerves she had ever seen in a man.

It was almost midnight when they retired into the library with a bottle of port and the servants had been told to go to bed.

Elizabeth softly closed the door behind her and told the two men to sit down. She poured the port with slightly trembling hands and handed first Bill and then Jack a glass before she sat down with her own. Jack crossed his legs and leaned back, staring at her intensely under slightly narrowed brows. She took a deep breath. „Billy, Jack…"  
"Where is she?", Jack interrupted her. She looked at him, but did not flinch under his glare. He slowly put his glass away, set both his legs down and leaned forward. „Lizzie…"  
"I don't know", she said. „When I came back from the smithy, after I had told Bill to go and look for you, I found her gone. I send out my footmen, I asked the governor for help, even. I've lost her, Jack." She didn't even bother asking his forgiveness. It was unforgivable.  
Jack took a deep breath and leaned back, closing his eyes. „What happened? D'ye know?"

Elizabeth exchanged a glance with Bill. „You guessed", she said. „It has happened exactly the way you warned me it could."  
Bill furrowed his brow and Elizabeth put down her own glass and folded her hands to keep then from shaking as she told them what she had found out.„And she was gone", she ended. „There was no trace of her anywhere."

Not looking up, she heard Jack slowly get up and pace through the room. He walked to the window, stared out for a while and came back to her. She felt herself shrink, but suddenly, he had his arm around her shoulder and hugged her close to him. "Don't blame yerself, Lizzie", he said gently. „It wasn't yer fault, ye know."  
She looked up at him and he flashed her the ghost of a smile. „I mean it, Lizzie." He let go of her and walked back to the window. „I'll set sail tomorrow", he said in a low voice. „Ye know, I can think of one more place to look where you likely haven't thought of."  
„What would that be?", Elizabeth asked, feeling a tiny flicker of hope rising that she might still be alive, and saw a similar feeling in Bill's eyes when she shot him a glance.

Jack turned around, a very unhappy grin on his face. „She's in the hand of god", he said, his voice bare of emotion. „One way or another."


	14. Chapter 14

Insert standard disclaimer here.

I've finally caught up in updating with my writing. From now on, updates will come slower and only as one chapter at a time.  
Author's note: I know orcas don't eat people, but that's not what they do here, is it? Don't sue me. Every writer needs a convenient bad guy now and then.  
And I don't really know how it is about recovering from one shock due to another, but then, again, I'm no medic. I'm just a lass with a strange and sometimes too lively fantasy. Savvy?

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**Chapter 14**

She blinked the rain out of her face as she watched the huge, wooden gate. All the way here, she hadn't taken any notice of where she was going, and now, facing the gates, she realised she had been heading here right from the beginning. Memories, long buried and forgotten, rose up from the deepest recesses of her soul.

„You are safe here, child. Safe from the world and safe from all evil."  
"There is always a place for any soul here, under the eyes of god."  
„He will never let you fall."  
„Here is the place where you can find peace for your soul."

She had never believed them. She had scorned them, she had hated them and she had fled. And now she had come back.

She had stood on top of the cliff for the whole night, but as the sun rose, realised she could not do it. But there was no place in life for her any more. There was nothing left, and death was not yet hers, no time to die yet.

But to face him… see him and not being able to endure even his presence…  
To see the sea and not being able to reach it…  
And to remember him without having had a chance to say good-bye…

There was no place on the world where she could live.No place, apart from here.

Maybe.

The little door set into the gate opened and Imogen stepped through. The door closed behind her, shutting her off from her life, the world, and hopefully, her own soul as well.

- - - - - -

Jack was spurned on by the hopes of finding her, and the urge of finding her in time, and was held back at the same time by the fear of not finding her. He didn't know what he would do if he would not find her here. If he didn't, it could only mean she was dead, but he tried to shove that thought aside for the time he could not deny it any more. He looked down at himself as he stood in front of the gate. Maybe he shouldn't have dressed like that, but he couldn't possibly face Imogen looking like a gaudy, flossy piece of dud. He adjusted his hat and belt, stroked his uncomfortable unfamiliar naked chin and knocked.

- - - - - -

Nothing had changed, and everything had changed at the same time. The place had not changed. The people had not changed. But she, oh, she had changed.

The walls around her, the walls she then so hated for keeping her in, they now were the only safety that stood between her and the world. Once hated for keeping her in, she now blessed them for keeping everything else out.

The walls kept her safe. No one could touch her, and no one could reach her. No man and certainly not the sea. She could neither hear nor see the world any more, and it was a relief. No sea, no souls, no more pain. And she knew, as she knelt down in front of the altar, that she would never leave again. She did not want to leave. She felt safe. Suddenly, she felt safe. Not safe from what still came up from inside her. Not safe from nightmares and pain.

But safe from everything that could trigger them. And safe from all the feelings of regret and longing that engulfed her.

She bowed her head and sighed.

- - - - - -

Jack closed the door of the chapel behind him as noiselessly as he had opened it. He felt his heart race as he finally recognised her kneeling in front of the altar. So she was here… she was alive. She was still alive. And it was not yet too late, although, he had to admit, he would have taken her no matter what state he had found her in.

He walked towards the altar and stopped halfway down the aisle. „I'd like to thank ye to wait a bit", he said as he saw one of the nuns beside her take her hair with one hand, holding a pair of scissors in the other. Several of the nuns flinched at the sound of his voice echoing through the chapel and all faces turned towards him, including the priest's. Some of the nuns crossed themselves hastily. Jack looked around, then slowly removed his hat. „Pardon me for the interruption", he said in a low voice, taking another few steps forward. „Imogen. I've come to take ye home."  
„Who are you, you villain?", the mother superior said. „Who are you that you dare to intervene with the decision of a soul to return to god?"  
„I do not plan to intervene", he said. „I came to tell my daughter I've come to take her home."

Imogen had grown cold as ice at the sound of his voice and only slowly turned her head to look over her shoulder. But it was neither a ghost nor an imagination. She got up and turned around. „Jack", she whispered. „I heard they hanged ye. I thought ye were dead…"  
„Ye were misinformed", Jack replied.  
They stared at each other for a while and Imogen was torn between just turning around, going down the road she had chosen and throwing herself into his arms to have him take her away. She could do neither, she could not move, she just stared at him through a fading vision clouded by tears.

„Will ye come with me?", Jack asked, taking another step forward.

„You have made your choice already, Magdalene", the mother superior said in a gentle voice.

Imogen looked back and forth between the two. And here she had been so sure of her decision only a moment ago… and then he was here, her father, not dead after all, and suddenly, life beckoned again. Life with all the haunts, nightmares and memories. With all the pain.

„Imogen", Jack said softly. „I'll not force ye. But Billy's waiting for ye to come back. And the Albatross is in Tortuga, waiting for ye. Will ye not come with me, luv?"

And with all the love… „Billy", she whispered. Another pain. A pain far greater than she cared to admit. But she still could not move. She shook her head in desperation and closed her eyes, feeling torn in both body and soul.

Jack watched her and felt his heart sink. She wouldn't come. He had lost her.

He closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath and swallowed. „Imogen… Imi… I've never told ye why I took ye with me." He swallowed again and she opened her eyes, staring at him in desperation with tears streaming down her face. "Ye were the first thing in my whole, cursed life that I cared more for than me sorry self", he said in what was almost a whisper. „My child. The best part of me. Ye looked at me, and took me heart out with those tiny hands. That's why I took ye. Because ye made me know what love really is. And because of that, ye made me a better man."

He broke off, fighting the tears that threatened to shame him. She still hadn't moved, and no one else around them moved, either. „I love ye", he added, his voice hoarse and cracked with pain. „"I couldn't leave ye. But I'll leave ye now, 'cause it's better that way if ye want it so. Farewell." He turned and walked away. This was almost more than he could bear, to leave her and know he would never see her again. But at least she was alive, at least she would…

„Jack?" He stopped, hunching his shoulders and gritting his teeth. „Jack…" she said, hurrying after him. He slowly turned, cursing himself for his weakness, but he could not hold back his tears any more. She threw her arms around him and he dropped his hat, holding her as tightly as he could in a fierce embrace. „I love ye, my little dolphin", he murmured in her hair. „My little mermaid. Just to let ye know it was you who turned that old pirate captain into a touchy, soft-hearted, stupid old sissy."  
Neither of them said a word for a while. He was about to let go of her when she suddenly took a deep breath and whispered „I want to go home, daddy."  
He leaned back to look at her. „Are ye sure"?, he asked in a low voice and she nodded without looking at him. „Don't leave me", she whispered, and he sighed, picked up his hat, put it on and swept her up into his arms.

As he was about to turn, he looked into the stern, thoughtful face of the mother superior.„Are you sure this is what you should do?", she asked him. „She would be better of here, in peace, with walls and god's hands to keep her safe."  
„Aye, I am sure"; Jack said. "And may god have mercy on my soul if I'm proven wrong."  
The nun nodded and gently touched Imogen's arm without taking her eyes off Jack. "We will pray for you", she said.  
"Thank you", Jack whispered and left the chapel.

x x x x x x x x

He had promised to take her home. Only where home was, he had not been too sure about. Maybe that little house in Tortuga. Maybe somewhere else entirely. Maybe just a place to rest. Maybe Port Royal, with Billy. But it had never crossed his mind that she would be home the moment she was on board of the Pearl again. He set her down and she walked straight to the mast and put her arms around it as if the ship was a long lost friend. He had taken her home already. This was the place where she had grown up, after all. On the Black Pearl, on the sea.

So it was that he did not set a course that would take them to any harbour soon. He just had his crew set the sails and headed north, away from the coast, away from that island even if Billy was waiting for her there. He would bring her back to him, but Elizabeth had been right.

She needed the sea to heal. Wind, air, salt and freedom. It was a good thing he had paid the crew of the Albatross an almost painful amount of money to stay in port. A crew without a captain is likely not very inclined to remain true as a pack of lapdogs, so he had done his best to ensure she would still have a ship. He would cruise the sea in a leisurely pace, bring her to Tortuga and let her take over her ship again. And then it would come all right. Somehow. It had to. It couldn't go on like this much longer.

The first night, he had seen her stand at the bow and look into the waves, and he had slowly walked towards her, stopping behind her. She hadn't turned and hadn't said a word, but neither had he. He had watched her, and after a while, he had carefully reached out and touched her hair. She still hadn't moved, and he had gently taken one strand of her hair and untangled the knots in it.

_She sighed, but she didn't move. She let him touch her, at least, and he carefully and slowly untangled her hair, careful because he didn't want to hurt her and slowly because he wanted to be close to her and felt he needed a pretext. __But eventually, he was finished and ran his fingers through her hair without encountering any resistance. „Thanks", she whispered._

"_Anytime, my little imp", he said softly, following an impulse to call her that. She slowly turned around and looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears.  
_„_You haven't called me that since I was seven or so…"  
__He shrugged. „I know… I thought it might cheer ye up…"  
__She stared at him for a while and swallowed. „You only said that to make me well. When I had fallen, or stumbled, o hit meself or cut meself… every time I had hurt meself, you cradled me up and called me yer little imp."  
__He shrugged. „That's what ye were. A little creature trying to do good and ending up doing harm. At least to yerself. An imp."  
_„_Aren't imps in general mischievous creatures that only trick and harm?"  
__Jack smiled slightly. „Well… I won't say ye haven't done the odd bit of mischief in yer younger years…"_

_She didn't smile. „Why did I make you a better man?"  
__Jack swallowed „I told ye that. Because ye made me know what love is." He suddenly found it extremely hard to stand her intense stare.  
_„_You took me from my mother because you loved me?"  
_„_I said as much, yes."  
_"_Or did ye take me because a child's love is unconditional and adoring? Because you wanted someone to love ye despite being the scumbag that ye are?"  
__He blinked. „Imogen… I honestly don't know why I deserved that…"_

_She crossed her arms. „Have ye not? I remind ye that you", and she bared her teeth at him with this word and he swallowed. „You", she went on, „Had made this fishy deal with Barbossa and it was your fault he captured me in the first place!"  
_"_Now hold it luv…"  
_„_And then ye didn't even come to get me out!" She too a step back but bumped into the railing.  
_„_Hold it, Imogen, listen to me!" He ran a hand across his face. „My deal with Barbossa was fulfilled long since. I'd told the bastard everything about the map and all because him harming you was precisely what I didn't want to happen!"_

_She glared at him and he held out his arms in desperation. „I beg ye to believe me. The reason why he did this was that the cave didn't open for him. And I don't know why that is! I came there, saw the hill, found the cave and walked straight in! He came there, found the hill, and there was no cave! He couldn't get in and he thought I had tricked him. But I hadn't, I swear. I was too afraid he'd harm you after the first time."_

_She swallowed and he shook his head, not looking at her. „Imi, I beg ye to believe me. Believe me. If I could have done anything, I'd done it. I came as fast as I could. I swear. As fast as I could…" He felt his voice falter under her stare when he looked up again.  
_"_Imogen." He wrenched his hands and dropped them again. „The fishy deal I made long before ye were born, long before I even knew yer mother! And if there had been a way to amend it, I'd have done it. Ye can't undo the past, Imogen."  
__She nodded slowly and shook her head. He looked up again and realised that she was crying again. „Here…" She didn't resist when he pulled her close. „It's all right, little imp."_

_She sobbed again and sniffed when she looked at him. „Why is it that anything seems to be not as bad anymore just because ye give me a hug?"  
__He smiled slightly. „Maybe because I'm as much yer mommy as I'm yer dad."  
__She blinked and he shrugged. „See, although I've got a cock dangling between me legs I'm as much of a mother as ye ever had. I wiped yer nose, I taught ye to speak and to walk… I tucked ye up in bed every night and told ye stories to make ye sleep." He pulled her close again and kissed her hair. __She was silent for a while, and finally she spoke again, so softly that he had to strain his ears. _

„_Jack… Dad?"  
_„_What is it, luv?"  
_„_Can you do it one more time?"  
_„_What?"  
_„_Tuck me up."_

_He had to smile and felt like weeping at the same time, but did neither and gathered her up into his arms. Wordlessly, he carried her down into her cabin, tucked her up in her bed, and sat down beside her. __He told her a story, one of the stupid stories he had made up for her when she was small, but somehow, he had never forgotten the words, although it was almost ten years ago he had told it the last time._

_She fell asleep halfway through, but to comfort himself as much as her, he finished the talel and let his pirate captain sail into the sunset with his princess at his side._

He now watched her standing at the bow as he stood at the helm, holding a course with no heading. She had avoided him since that first night, had given him not a look or a word, hadn't spoken a single word at all. She had hardly eaten any food, and had refused to drink a single drop of rum which almost worried Jack more than anything else. But he had neither questioned nor forced her in the knowledge of making it only worse if he did so.

It still hurt. The knife in his heart still twisted and shifted, causing him agony and sleepless nights. He watched her hug herself and knew she was crying, but he couldn't do anything to ease her pain. He slowly lifted his head and stared into the night above him, then let his gaze wander back down to the sea, into the waves that rose and fell and crashed against his ship.

He had brought her here in the hopes the sea would heal her but so far, she had shown no signs whatsoever of ever being able to even smile again.

_Help her_, he thought, staring into the waves. „Help her", he added in a whisper. „I'll gladly give anything to have her back again as she used to be."

A wave hit the stern and showered him in fine, salty spray. He licked his lips and tightened his grip on the spokes.

It was a dark, windy night, and watching the rising waves, he was worried they'd be hit by a storm, so the crew hustled around on deck, tied everything down, shifting coils of rope and checking every knot. Amidst all this, Imogen stood at the bow and stared into the waves. The wind turned in a hefty gush and the Pearl rocked as if a giant hand had given her a slap, the rigging creaked and the ship leaned precariously sideways. Jack grimaced and dragged at the wheel; crossing the wave and making her stand upright again.

Men ran back and forth, yelling and throwing ropes. A wave crashed on deck and a barrel went overboard. "Cursed stupid bilge rats!", Jack screamed. Swearing under his breath, he steered clear of the next larger wave when he suddenly realised Imogen was gone.

He looked this way and that, back and forth, and only a sudden feeling, a sense of growing dread, made him looks up. Something white flew from the crow's nest and fell down, dragged back and forth by the gushes of wind. Jack blinked the rain out of his eyes. It was her dress, the white habit of the novice nun she had worn. His eyes widened.

She was sitting in the crow's nest on the top mast, in a storm that was about to hit them, and had tossed away her clothing…

He gripped the spokes so hard his knuckles went white. „Someone take the helm!", he screamed to make himself heard over the increasing wind and missed the next wave. It hit the Pearl amidships and almost toppled her over. She leaned over with a scream of wood and taut ropes and Jack cursed as he held on to the wheel with all his strength. Yet even as the ship was lying almost horizontally in the waves, he could not take his eyes away from the mast. Insane, she couldn't possibly have gone into the crow's nest now…

With a groan and a creak, the Black Pearl started to straighten herself up again. But at that moment, Jack saw a pale figure rise in the crow's nest and jump. She didn't fall… she jumped. Time slowed down around him and all sounds died as he watched her gracefully stand up and jump from the main mast into the waves below the moment the ship straightened up.

„IMOGEN!" He screamed like a madman and forgetting anything else, Jack let go of the wheel with a scream and ran down on deck, dropping his hat, ripping of his coat and dropping his sabre and pistols at the railing before he jumped. The water was icy and the waves huge. He screamed her name, swimming forward with mighty strokes, and realised the same moment that he was doomed now, as well. The waves were too high, it was dark, he could never find her and there were three fins ploughing the waves, heading towards him.

Black fins… sharks would never surface in a storm.

Orcas did.

Orcas were not necessarily man-eaters. They tend not to eat people… they seeemed not to like them. But you never knew when they were going to try again…

The fins vanished.

„Imogen!" He screamed again, and suddenly saw her pale form being carried by a smaller wave. With the strength of panic he swam towards her and just managed to grip one of her arms before the wave would have dragged her under. "Let me go", she screamed at him, struggling with him. She was fighting him!  
„No, you stupid bitch!" he screamed back and slapped her. „I'll not let ye drown!", He grabbed her by the waist and dragged her with him towards the ship. She was fighting him and screaming, and his progress through the waves was agonizingly slow. His strength was already waning.

Even in the chaos of the breaking storm, the crew had realised what had been happening and had turned the ship. Some men were now leaning over the railing with ropes. Someone screamed, and Jack looked around to see the fins again. _Damn it all to hell…_

He would die tonight, but he would not let her die. He grabbed a dangling rope and slung it round her body, making a hasty knot.

She still fought him, but the moment he tugged at the rope, the men above him pulled at the rope and lifted her. Jack reached for the other rope, cold fear gripping his belly as he thought about the fins. A black face emerged before him, a huge, pink mouth and rows of deadly, white teeth, flashing him a grin of death before the orca dived again. He slung the rope around him and held on when something cold touched his legs. He screamed and something inside him snapped audibly.  
He screamed, but at the same moment, the rope dragged him up, out of the water, and back on deck. He slumped down, couldn't possibly stand any more. But there was wood under him, solid wood… he felt strangely faint. Maybe he shouldn't have tried that at his age after all…

Someone screamed. Imogen screamed. „Jack!!"

He was cold. His vision was strangely fading, strangely fuzzy around the edges. He felt her kneel down and gather him into his arms. „Jack", she sobbed. „No…no… what have I done? Jack!"  
„Imogen", he said, but as he tried to speak more, he felt he couldn't. Thinking became very hard, suddenly. Why was he so cold? He tried to reach for her and pat her face, but his hand didn't move. He felt strangely numb and heavy when Imogen pressed his head to her chest.  
„Jack! Oh god, no, no no!!"  
„He's bleeding to death!" Now that was another voice…

And Imogen suddenly opened his belt and ripped it off him. He blinked, but still couldn't think nor speak any more; neither his limbs nor his tongue obeyed him. He felt her sling his belt around his left leg and pull it tight. Strange, that should hurt. But it didn't. He finally managed to open his eyes again and looked down at him.

With a strange feeling of detachment he noticed that he was lying in a huge pool of blood that was being dispersed and diluted by rain. And in the middle of it was his left leg.

His leg.

It ended right under the knee.

He let his head fall back when his vision faded again. „Jack", he heard her sob.  
Closing his eyes and doing nothing else, and trying to do nothing else, made him finally able to get control over his tongue again.  
"Take the helm, Imi…" he managed to say.  
Imogen sobbed and ran a hand down his face. He couldn't open his eyes and felt something dark and heavy drag him down. „Take the helm. Get me ship through. Take her through the storm."

He felt her let go of him. She laid him down, and he felt again the wood under his head. Then he heard her voice from far away. „You. Give me your shirt and stop gaping at me tits!" He had to smile when he thought about it… that these were the last words he would ever hear from her. He opened his eyes again to see her stand at the helm, wearing nothing but a drenched shirt. He still smiled even as his vision faded, but he knew that he had got himself a deal. He had said he would give anything and the sea had taken. And she had given him Imogen back. He could let go. It was too hard to try and stay anyway. He sighed, closed his eyes and let himself sink into oblivion.

Holding the spokes, gripping the wheel, Imogen stood at the helm and stared across the deck.  
„Take the helm", he had said. „Get me ship through. Take her through the storm."  
No one had dared to stop her. Certainly not the stupid halfwit whose shirt she was wearing right now. She had taken the helm and now steered the Black Pearl through the storm.

She couldn't say what had made her do it. She didn't know. But it had seemed the only choice, to let the sea take and engulf her. Never had she thought he would come after her, and she should be ashamed of that. Of course he would. She had seen the fins, as well, but had thought it wasn't a bad thing, hoping it would be over more quickly. But then she had seen him… Coming for her… And the fins had disappeared under water.  
She glanced down to the deck with a sob. She didn't know if he was dead or still alive, but she knew he had paid very, very dearly for her stupidity. He had lost a leg.

Imogen blinked the tears and rain out of her eyes. She would never forgive herself for that. Never. And most likely, he would never forgive her for that, either.

But he had smiled. Strangely enough, he had smiled when he had told her to take the helm.

She sobbed again and gritted her teeth, wrenching the wheel around again to cross a wave that came crashing towards them_. Take her though the storm._ Rain lashed her skin and the gushing wind whipped her hair this way and that, plastering the wet, sticky strands to her face. He hadn't been concerned about himself although he must have seen what had happened to him. He had only been concerned about his ship and asked her to taker her into safety. Take her through the storm.

_Take her through the storm. _

Imogen stared ahead, forgetting the rain, tears and saltwater stinging in her eyes. Had he meant the ship with that last sentence…? ...but if so, whom had he been talking to?


	15. Chapter 15

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 15**

It almost seemed to Imogen that she had been in a state of trance when she suddenly realised that the wind had slackened and the waves had calmed down.

How long had she stood here, knowing nothing else but the sea, feeling nothing but the wood of the spokes and seeing nothing but the next wave? She had no idea.Blinking a few times and suddenly becoming aware that she was awfully cold, she looked down at herself and realised this was because she was wearing nothing but a wet shirt.

And then it all came back to her.

She took a deep breath in what was almost a gasp and let go of the wheel. Someone in her vicinity, she neither knew nor cared, stepped in for her to take the helm. He must have waited for that, waited for her to grow tired, to grow weak… but she had stayed strong.  
She had stayed strong because Jack had needed her to.  
Blinking slowly, Imogen realised what precisely she had just thought. She had thought ‚because he needed me to', rather than ‚because he asked me to'.  
No… had he asked her to, she would have refused and locked herself up again. But he hadn't. He had asked her to save his ship. As if there was no other capable helmsman among his crew…

Still dripping and leaving wet footprints in her wake, she went into the captain's cabin to look for him. Surely his crew must have carried him under deck during the storm?  
They had. He was lying in his bed covered by a blanket.  
„Oh Jack…" she whispered as she closed the door behind her. He was as pale as a shroud.  
She was almost too afraid to move. She realised as she stood there, shivering and still dripping, with the drops of water making soft tapping noises on the wooden planks beneath her, that she was afraid to attempt to wake him up. What if he wouldn't?

Gritting her teeth to stop them clatter, she took another step forward and looked down at him. "Jack…?" He didn't move, and she cautiously extended one hand to touch his face. A tiny trace of live flickered over his face when her cold and wet fingers touched his cheek. His skin was almost as cold as her own. Imogen took a deep breath to calm herself, then he slowly opened his eyes, seemingly fighting the weight of his lids to keep them open. She swallowed.

"Jack…?"  
„Imi, luv…", he whispered. „Get yerself a dry shirt, lass…"  
She blinked and took his hand. „I'm fine, Jack", she said but he shook his head.  
"No, ye aren't, ye're freezing cold." He closed his eyes again. His voice was barely audible. „I've got some spare ones… in that…"  
„I know where ye keep yer stuff, Jack", she said softly and he managed to smile at her words.  
Not really wanting to upset him, she went to open his wardrobe and help herself to some of his spare clothing. The wet shirt fell to the ground with a squishy splat and she had to admit to herself that she felt a lot better with a dry one, not to mention a pair of breeches. She was still cold, but at least she was not shivering any more when she went back to his bed to sit down beside him.

„I'm glad ye're better", he whispered.  
Imogen shook her head." Jack… I…"  
„Sh. It's all right."  
„No it isn't… Jack, ye're…"  
„I know", he gave back. „Nothing to be done about it."

She swallowed a reply. Of course he was right… nothing to be done about it. She hesitatingly took his hand and felt him, if weakly, close his fingers around hers. A wave rocked the ship and he suddenly went even paler, wincing in pain. Imogen shook her head and took a deep breath. „We need to get yer on land, Jack. Ye need some peace and quiet, and a proper bed."  
He smirked… or at least, he tried to. „A bed… and what else? Cup of tea?"  
Imogen cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head. „Ye not really mean to drink rum after ye lost almost every single drop of blood in yer body?"  
„Ain't drinking no bloody tea", he muttered.

Imogen sighed, feeling torn between worry and amusement. Was he really not that upset, or was he only pretending not to be to spare her feelings? Or was he just to worn to truly realise what had happened to him? „I'll get ye to Tortuga, dad", she said and slowly got up but sat down again when he opened his eyes again, wider this time.  
„Billy's waiting for ye in Port Royal", he muttered. His eyes moved as if he was looking for her, yet even if she saw his eyes move, they seemed strangely glassy and frozen. She leaned forward. "Jack, do ye see me at all?"  
„No", he said. „Well, hardly… why don't ye light a bloody candle?"  
„Jack…", she said slowly, feeling more worried than before. „It's bright daylight outside."  
„Oh…" he whispered and closed his eyes again.  
„It's the loss of all that blood", she said, to reassure him as much as herself.  
„Why don't ye give me a drink then?" he muttered. „To make up for it, like? I'm thirsty…"  
"I'll get ye some water", she said and he snorted softly under his breath. „What? I'm not givin' ye any rum yet!"  
„And I ain't drinking no bloody tea", he said, making her shake her head in exasperation as she went to fetch some water.

When Imogen came back with a bottle, he had passed out again. With a tired sigh, she sat down on a chair at the table and let her head fall onto her arms. She could feel every bone in her body right now, and there were more of them than she cared to know about. But even as she thought that, another voice in her head told her in a accusing and scolding tone that she, at least, still had every bone she was supposed to have. With a heavy sigh, she straightened up again.

„Imi…"  
His voice made her force her tiredness away. She couldn't let go of herself just yet. "Jack?" She sat down beside him on the bed again.  
"Head for Port Royal, luv", he said again without opening his eyes.  
„Jack… if I land in Port Royal with the Black Pearl they'll…  
"They'll think she's the Jade Star of Bermuda", he murmured. „I dressed her up, aye?"  
„The white sails?" Imogen asked and he swallowed and nodded. „Aye."  
„But…"  
"I… I made meself an alter ego, luv", he said after a few seconds, his eyes still closed. „When I came for ye, like, before I knew ye were…"  
„Alter ego?", she interrupted him to avoid that particular topic. Yet she saw him smile ever so slightly and knew he was fully aware of her evasive manoeuvre.  
„Aye. A honourable merchant… Jonathan McGuyre."  
„Honourable?"  
He smirked. „Even bought a wig."

She looked at him, but he still hadn't opened his eyes. „Is that where yer beard went?", she asked softly and ran a finger across his strangely bald chin. His smile widened slightly and she shook her head again, this time in what was almost admiration. But that was Jack Sparrow… fooling them all by hiding right under everyone's nose.  
„See, he had dealings… business with… with the lady Turner", Jack went on. He seemed to grow weaker, his voice certainly did. She leaned a little closer to be able to hear him at all. "Help her find someone… who had… got lost." He took a deep breath and swallowed.  
Imogen put a hand on his cheek. „Don't ye talk so much…"  
He ignored her. „So ye could just drop me off there… tell her of a mishap…"  
„Like what? Walk the bloody streets of Port Royal as bold as brass, pretending to be… what? Yer son? Cabin boy?"  
His smile had vanished and she realised he had paled even more. „There's a dress for ye here somewhere…", he muttered and suddenly his head tilted slightly sideways.

Imogen swallowed. „Jack?" He didn't move. „Jack?" Feeling panic rise in her she leaned over his face and let her breath escape in a long huff of relief when she felt his breath on her cheek. She slowly straightened up again.

A dress?

A merchant?

What a charade…

She went back to the wardrobe and shuffled around a bit, pulling out the mentioned dress and some other silken and very fine clothes.

„What a charade…"

x x x x x x x x

Despite Imogen's constant prayers, the sea hadn't all been nice and quiet during the journey back. She was actually glad by the third day when the coastline came in sight and had to admit that even without Billy waiting for her, Port Royal was simply the closest port. With the rolling of the ship in only moderately heavy sea, Jack had weakened even more, the wound had reopened several times with even the slightest movement of his leg, which was hardly avoidable under those conditions.

She could not stop herself from staring at the walls of the fort as they passed it on their way into the harbour, but no shot fell, not alarm was raised. They really seemed not to recognise the ship, and Imogen tried to gather her wits about her again. She had just realised, as the ship now was towed to the quay, that she didn't even know the way. When Jack had brought her here, she had been unconscious and when she had left (she still winced, thinking of it and what it had caused), she had left the city through the north gate.

So she slowly walked down the plank, looking left and right, and wondered where to go. She briefly thought of asking Jack, but she doubted he would be of any help; he had been unconscious for most of the journey and still was, and he was so weak now that he wouldn't likely have been able to tell her anything, anyway.

So, with a shrug and a sigh, she hiked up her petticoats and set off towards where she thought she might find, if not Elizabeth's house, then at least directions to it. As it turned out, form the first person she asked, everyone was able to point her into the direction of lady Elizabeth Turner's residence. So she now stood in front of her door and hesitated. Would she be let in? What if Elizabeth could not…

_She's taken care of you, for god's sake_. She wouldn't sent Jack away as he is, would she…  
She wouldn't. Bracing herself and then remembering she was supposed to be an abducted and recovered poor maiden, she ran a hand through her locks and knocked.

A servant opened and looked at her down his nose. „Yes?"  
„Eh… I am back…" she said, trying to smile. „Imogen… do you know who I am?"  
„Indeed I don't, miss", he said coldly, taking her whole appearance in, from the finely but slightly worn dress to her more than slightly dishevelled hair. „And I wouldn't know why I should, to be frank."  
„Well, could you ask lady Elizabeth Turner if she wants to see Imogen and hear news of Captain J… John… Jonathan McGuyre?" Only when she had said that she realised how her own attempt at getting her head around this crazy idea made her actually more credible.  
„Captain McGuyre", the footman said and nodded. „In that case I am going to ask." He dissappeared, leaving Imogen stand on the doorstep with a feeling of dread and fury mixing up inside her. _Bloody snobby bastard.  
_But she only had to wait a couple of minutes before the door opened again and the footman waved her inside, a little pale and not at all that snobby any more. _Have ye been told off mate_, she thought. _Good for ye._

Elizabeth stood in the hallway and hurried up to meet her. „Imogen! Thank god and all his angels you're safe!" To Imogen's surprise, Elizabeth embraced her warmly and she was not sure if she genuinely cared (for why should she) or if she was playing her part in the charade, as well. But the way Elizabeth smiled at her seemed to suggest the former and Imogen took a deep breath. „Lady Elizabeth", she began, not knowing how to break it to her. She plain didn't know how much she did really care for Jack and how she would possibly take those news.  
„Imogen", she said, suddenly looking concerned. „Has something happened to… Captain McGuyre?"

Imogen cleared her throat, feeling her own emotions weigh on her as she had to finally tell someone else. „He has… he has had an accident", she managed to say. „He… is badly injured." She caught herself wrenching her hands in agony and Elizabeth gently took her by the shoulders. „What happened?", she asked in a calm voice, but Imogen saw how pale she had become and how her eyes had widened. She rubbed a hand across her face. He…", she began, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. „I… It was my fault, I guess… I… I went overboard in the storm and… he jumped in after me to get me out…" She wiped her eyes. _Curse ye, ye stupid bitch, wailing won't get ye anywhere! _„He saved me… but… „ She broke off and swallowed, suddenly all her strength had left her.

Elizabeth saw this and pulled her close again, even if she herself felt like screaming at Imogen to tell her what the hell had happened. He must be really badly off if he couldn't come here by himself.  
Imogen leaned into her embrace because bearing it all on her own suddenly seemed just to much to ask of her. „There were orcas", she said tonelessly and felt Elizabeth grow stiff. „They didn't attack me… but one of them tried to get at Jack and they couldn't pull him out fast enough and…" She took a deep breath because the last words had just blurted out of her on her own accord. „…and he was… he has…" She leaned back to look into Elizabeth's pale, horrified face. Guilt washed over her in a wave that toppled her over like a ship in a storm.

„He's still alive", she whispered. „But god… he's crippled. He's lost a leg because of my…"  
„Shh..", Elizabeth said, pulling her close again. „Whatever happened, I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Please, don't blame yourself. I'm sure he'll say as much."  
„He…"  
"No." She leaned back to smile at Imogen. It was a sad and tired smile, but it was a smile. „Where is he now?"  
„On the… ship", Imogen said, licking her lips. „I didn't know where to go…"  
"We'll get him here."

So Elizabeth forced herself together, settled Imogen in an armchair with a glass of port and send out three of her footmen, two with a trencher to get the captain and one to the smithy to get Bill. Only then, when they all had dispersed, she sank into the chair opposite Imogen's and sighed. „How is he taking it?", she asked softly, and Imogen put her glass down and shrugged. „It seems not too badly, strangely enough."

She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. „But he was hardly conscious at all during since then… he's lost an awful lot of blood. For a moment, after they dragged him on deck I'd thought he'd bleed to death right under my hands. He didn't… but he's so weak…" She let her shoulders drop. „I thought I'd killed him…", she whispered. „But I didn't… yet. I only crippled him." Then she closed her eyes and let her head drop back.

Elizabeth didn't reply. She didn't agree, but she knew that right now, nothing she could do or say would make her believe otherwise.

x x x x x x x x

Elizabeth had braced herself for the worst possible sight, so she wasn't completely taken off her feet when she saw him as they carried him in. But she couldn't help her utter feeling of pain, regret and pity at the thought of what had happened to him. Not so much the pain and the weakness… but what would come after. She could well see under the thin blanket covering him how his left leg ended about two handbreadths under his knee and couldn't help shuddering.

He was unconscious as they bedded him down in a bedroom upstairs and Imogen sat down beside him on a chair and took his hand. It was limp and cold.  
„Jack", she whispered. „We've made it. Yer stupid plan has worked, after all."  
To her and Elizabeth's surprise, he fluttered his eyelids and tried to smile. "Told ye so", he muttered under his breath. „And don't ye think… that not being hanged is worth sacrificing a beard?"  
Imogen shook her head. „Even if ye look rather stupid like that."  
His smile widened slightly without him opening his eyes. „Annoying pest."


	16. Chapter 16

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 16**

The door opened again and this time Billy stepped in, his face still grimy with soot and his shirt grey with ash. He hadn't paid much attention to himself during the last couple of days, so his hair looked as dirty and shaggy as his beard and, together with the grimy face, gave him the appearance of having been dragged through an ash pit. He looked around, eyes wide in astonishment, but they widened even more when he saw Imogen sit beside the bed, holding on to Jack's hand.

„Imogen", he said softly, then helplessly dropped his arms. She forced out a smile but could well see in his face that she wasn't very successful and lowered her eyes, looking back at her father again. Bill swallowed and stepped around the bed to stand beside his mother. "I couldn't make much sense out of what Higgins said", he said in a low voice. „What happened?"  
Elizabeth looked up at him and then indicated with a slight move of her hand to Jack, making Bill follow her hand with his gaze. He paled visibly when he realised what he was seeing, or rather, not seeing. „By god…" But his head jerked up when he heard Imogen sob.

"Imogen", he said again and walked around the bed again to stand behind her. „I'm sure he'll be all right…"  
"No he won't", she said and swallowed. „And it's my fault. He saved me and now he's…."  
"Imogen…", he began, but her glowing stare made him swallow whatever he had meant to say. He sighed and looked at Jack again. He admitted that he looked rather worrying with his face so waxy and pale that he almost looked like a corpse.

No one spoke for a while.

All of a sudden, Jack opened his eyes. „What is this, a wake? I ain't dead yet, ye know…"  
„Jack", Elizabeth said softly. „How do you feel?"  
„Lizzie…" He managed a smile, then closed his eyes. „Rotten", he said tonelessly. „Me leg's on fire, which isn't really fair since it isn't there any more, and I'm dying o' thirst."  
Elizabeth wordlessly got up and left the room, only to come back a while later with a tray. Jack opened his eyes again as she entered. „I ain't drinking no bloody tea", he muttered, trying to sound defiantly. Elizabeth ignored him and poured a cup.  
„Billy", Jack said, straining his voice. „Tell these ladies that a man needs something more substantial than tea to recover."

Bill was genuinely impressed at how much contempt and despise someone could put into a word that small. The way Jack said ‚tea' sounded as if they were making him drink rotten eggs. He watched with slight amusement as his mother rolled her eyes and uncorked a small glass bottle that had been on the tray as well, and then cleared his throat. „Like… uh… like tea with rum?", he ventured, and Jack sighed but stopped making a face. „Well, I guess that's a compromise", he muttered. „Won't likely get any better, I s'ppose." He opened his eyes again when Elizabeth gently took his head and lifted it to help him drink.  
„I ain't drinking no bloody…", he began and Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. „Tea with rum?", she asked and he blinked and twitched the left corner of his mouth into a slightly embarrassed smile. „Oh… aye… well, I suppose I can give it a try, luv…" He let Elizabeth give him the tea and sighed as she put his head back down on the pillow. "Better?", she asked and he nodded.

Elizabeth leaned back then and looked at Imogen. „How is the wound?", she asked then, and Imogen shrugged. „It's all right, I suppose. It is clean and doesn't seem to start festering, but I just don't know how to treat a… a…"  
„A stump", Jack said without much emotion, then opened his eyes and looked at her. „Ye're not blaming yerself, are ye, luv?"  
„I…"  
"Stop doing so", he said. „It upsets me and I must not be upset right now, being so sick and weak and all, aye?"  
Imogen swallowed and shook her head. „But…"  
"Imogen", he said, lifting his head a little to be able to look at her straight rather than glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes. „Ye were beside yerself. Ye were not yerself, with wanting to take yer life. Having seen ye, luv, I can't say I blame ye, but I couldn't let that happen, now, could I?"  
„No, but…"  
"Better me than you, is all I say", he said decidedly, trying to close off the matter.  
"But…"  
"Imogen." He managed to summon some strength into his hand and gently squeezed her fingers. „It's not as bad as it could be, aye? I wasn't bitten in half and I still have both arms. I can still steer me ship. Could've been worse, aye?" She didn't reply. „Savvy?", he said with more intensity and then she finally nodded. He smiled and let his head fall back.

After some minutes of silence, Jack spoke again. „Lizzie", he whispered and beckoned her closer. Feeling slightly worried, she leaned closer to him and strained her ears to be able to understand his whispered words. „Get rid of the weans, aye? I'm in a hell of pain and I can't keep a straight face any more for much longer."  
Elizabeth swallowed and nodded, then straightened up again. „ I think we'd best let him rest for a while", she said. „I'll keep the first watch with him."  
Imogen shot her father a glance and looked back at Elizabeth, but he had his eyes closed and her face was completely blank. She nodded, touched Jack's cheek as she got up and left the room, followed by Bill who shot a short glance at his mother over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

„Are they gone?", Jack whispered and Elizabeth nodded. „They are."  
"And why are you still here, Lizzie? I'd like to be alone a bit with me pain, ye know."  
„Because I am not leaving you alone in your pain", she replied and got up from her chair only to sit down beside him on the bed again. „Not this time."  
He swallowed and opened his eyes. „Not… this time?", he asked and she shook her head with a soft, sad smile.  
„And what if I want to be alone?", he said, slightly clenching his jaws. „I want to be alone... I've kept a straight face for days now because I didn't want to upset Imogen, and I really can't keep it up any longer."  
"But you don't have to", she said, gently laying a hand on his cheek. „You can let go."  
"But I can't if ye…  
"Shhh", she said and carefully gathered his upper body up into her lap. „You can. It's only me. Elizabeth. Lizzie. Your Lizzie."

„My… Lizzie…", he whispered, pinching his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and a soft, long, drawn out wail escaped his lips without him being able to hold it back any more. Wordlessly, Elizabeth cradled his head against her chest and rocked him gently back and forth as he let out all the pent-up pain and agony of the last days in hoarse, high-pitched wolf-like howls. Tears streamed down her face as she held him, running her hand through his hair, and she still held him even after his howls had ebbed off into hoarse sobs and he passed out again.

x x x x x x x x

Feeling restless and lost, Imogen stared at the closed door and knew that behind it, something took place where she had been utterly locked away from. Feeling like an intruder with even being within earshot she walked off, followed by Bill who looked as uneasy as she herself felt. She watched him and felt torn between screaming at him to bugger off and throwing herself into his arms. She did neither and braced herself, scolding herself for being so squeamish. _He hasn't done you any harm, ever,_ she told herself. She took a deep breath. „Care to… to take a walk… in the garden, like?", she asked, and Bill nodded and followed her outside. Neither of them said a word as they aimlessly strolled down the paths that led to the bottom end of the garden.

„I'll show you something", he finally said, and she followed him up a little rise towards the leaning tree with the little green leaves and little white flowers. With a shy smile, he held some of the branches aside for her like a curtain, and she stepped through, looking around, then sat down on the bench. She felt herself stiffen as Bill walked around the bench and stood behind her. „This is my favourite place", he said in a low voice.  
„I see why", she gave back cautiously. „It's hidden and ye feel shielded from the whole world.  
„Yes", he whispered and gently laid his hands on her shoulders. She couldn't help flinching under his touch and he hastily removed his hands. „I'm sorry, Imogen… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"  
„No… it's all right, Billy…"

_It's just Billy…_

„It's just you, Billy. I just… I just didn't expect it…"

He hesitatingly and carefully brought his hands back down again and she forced herself not to flinch.

_It's just Billy. Billy's hands._

„It's just you. Your hands."

_He's never harmed you._

„You never did anything to hurt me, Billy."

He slowly moved his thumbs up and down on her back. „Never", he whispered with an urgency and earnest that almost made her smile.  
„Sit ye down, mate", she said and watched with a dry throat as he slowly walked around the bench and sat down beside her. She took a deep breath. „Billy", she said. „I have to be brutally honest."  
He swallowed as well and nodded, not taking his eyes off hers.

"I'm afraid", she said in a low voice. „I'm afraid of yer touch. I'm afraid it makes me remember. Because I can't… I can't remember anything. I want to remember… to be able to forget. But I can't, and so I can't forget, and these forgotten memories come back and haunt me. They tease me. The hover just out of my reach, like shadows at the edge of my vision, like the scratching of claws behind a closed door." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. „I've a body full of pain and a head full of nightmares", she went on, her voice hardly more than a whisper. „And I'm afraid that anything ye might do will bring back the memories and destroy everything that was beautiful between us."

He stared at her in desolation, his eyes brimming with tears. She swallowed, hesitatingly reached out, drew back her hand, reached out again and then, with trembling fingers, touched his cheek to catch a tear that had escaped from his eye. „I wish I could make you whole again", he whispered. „I wish I could heal you as you healed my leg."  
Imogen blinked. „I hurt ye a lot", she said, narrowing her eyes. „I almost killed ye."  
"I know", he gave back and reached out to touch her face. When she managed to remain still and not flinch under his touch, he cupped her cheek in his hand. „I know you hurt me", he said. „But you had to. And I remember hearing you say that you have to be ruthless to clean out a festering wound or it will kill you." He leaned a little forward.  
She blinked. „I thought ye had been asleep…"  
"I wasn't… completely", he said, leaning closer so she could feel his breath on her cheek. „Imogen", he whispered. „If you need or want me to do anything, no matter what it is, I will do it. I would do anything to make you heal. I want to heal you. To see you smile and laugh again." He hadn't moved any closer and stared desperately into her eyes.

She was captured in his eyes. So dark and warm, so pleading, so filled with his pain that was caused solely by hers.

_Eyes…_

_NO! The evil eyes are gone…_

He had seen the flicker of fear in her eyes and swallowed. But then she blinked and looked at him again. „I don't need to be asleep for the nightmares to haunt me", she whispered.  
„What nightmares?", he asked, but Imogen shook her head. „I don't want to talk about them."  
He slightly lowered his lids. „Sometimes, dreams become less real as soon as you tell someone about them."  
Imogen bit her lower lip. She couldn't face it. She couldn't… but the way Billy looked at her… as if he knew. As if he knew… „Billy…", she whispered. „I can't…"  
„Tell me", he urged her. „Tell me. You have to drag them to light to make the sun destroy them."  
"But I don't want you to…"  
"Don't think about me, Imogen. I can handle it. I can do whatever I must."

„Eyes", Imogen said, making him blink. She felt coldness rise inside her and spread out through her limbs, but she forced the words out, nonetheless. „Eyes. Huge, evil, staring eyes." His hand was warm on her cheek. „Huge, evil eyes. They stare at me, I can't hide, They look for me, and I know, when they find me, I will suffer terribly. I try to hide, but the eyes are huge, and evil, and they see everything. They find me." Tears were streaming down her face.  
He didn't say anything. He just watched her, and the moment she had started, she couldn't seem to stop any more. Everything blurted out beyond her ability to control it or even form them into coherent sentences. She just stammered and whispered whatever words came to her mind… and Billy listened.

His heart grew cold as he did so. He listened to her ramblings about the huge evil eyes, the burning hands that caused her pain all over her body, the cold voice that destroyed her last bit of waning strength with it's mocking words.  
Finally, she broke down crying, wailing like a child. He gathered her close, hugged her tightly to his chest and pressed his face into her hair. She fought him for a second, but the moment he started muttering into her ear, she went limp again.

„It's me, Imogen. It's Billy. Don't be afraid, love."  
She clung to him in terrible desperation and he held her tight, then gathered her up and settled her on his lap. She slung her arms around his neck and he held her close, kissing her hair and muttering endless, meaningless phrases into her hair until, after what seemed like hours to him, she finally calmed down a bit. Her head fell against his shoulder and she sobbed a few times more.

„Billy", she whispered then.  
„What is it, love?"  
She lifted her head to look at him. He looked into her eyes, and while he could see she was far from being healed, the haunted look was gone, at least. He softly smiled at her and she sniffed and smiled back as she laid a hand on his cheek. „Ye were right", she whispered.  
„About what?"  
„About dragging them to light."  
„Are you feeling a bit better, then?"  
She nodded. „A bit."  
„I'm glad you do."

She leaned forward and kissed his lips, softly, gently, without passion, but with much feeling. He swallowed as she leaned back again. She looked at him again, chewed her lower lip for a second, then she slipped her hand around his neck and kissed him again, this time with a passion that surprised him. Yet it took him only a second to recover and he buried his fingers into her hair as he opened his lips to her.

She broke free and stared at him. „Take me, Billy", she said a little hoarsely.  
He swallowed. „Are you sure?"  
„Take me", she said again. „Make the hands go away, Billy. Take me now before I loose my nerves again and change my mind!"  
He kissed her again. He had said he would do anything… He stood up, gathering her into his arms, and gently laid her down in the grass before the bench.  
„Billy", she whispered urgently. „Talk to me…"  
„Imogen", he whispered back as he started to undress her. „You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on."

She smiled in the fond memory of the first time he had said this and he felt hopes rising inside him that she might actually enjoy what he would be doing to her. He swallowed and went on. "I remember even as I was in fever, when you came for me on that ship…"  
She stiffened. _Damn you, you stupid fool_, he thought. _Why did you have to bring that up!_ But he forced himself to just continue as if nothing happened. „As you threw your arms around me and kissed me all I could think was: Why is she kissing me? But then, after you started negotiating with him…" She closed her eyes, but he gritted his teeth and went on, running a hand down her side. „All I could think of was that I wanted to kiss her again."

He leaned over her and kissed her, running a hand across her belly. „And even when you hurt me, when you cleaned out that wound, I kept thinking that maybe, you would give me another kiss again, just to comfort me, like…" She smiled a tiny smile and Bill laid down beside her, running a hand across one of her breasts. „You are so beautiful", he murmured and leaned over her. „So beautiful, so wild and strong…" He kept on telling her how beautiful she was as he caressed her body, realising how coarse and grimy his hands were against her skin. Only when she started to moan under his touch did he gently settle down on top of her.

„You're so beautiful and strong", he whispered. „You're stronger than him. You're stronger than him, Imogen."  
„Billy…", she gasped, burying her hands in his hair. „Billy…  
"I love you, Imogen", he said and kissed the grove of her neck, sweat forming on his forehead from the effort of holding himself back and move gently and slow. „I love you."  
„Billy", whispered again. „Billy, come to me, now." She dragged his head down and kissed him again. „Come to me", she whispered breathlessly. „I love you."  
And he did what she asked.

He gathered her up in his arms afterwards and, to comfort her and make her forget, he took her home again with his hands, holding her to his own racing heart as she cried out his name. Holding her close as she cried then, sobbing into his shoulder, he gently ran his hand through her hair and kept telling her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her until she finally was so exhausted that she fell asleep. Maybe she had even passed out on him.

And when she awoke a few hours later, the night already dark and cool around them, she felt as if she had slept for years. She hadn't dreamed at all. She could still well remember the eyes, and the hands, and the voice, but they were not straight before her eyes and ears any more. They had, somehow, somewhat, faded away.


	17. Chapter 17

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 17**

Jack drifted in and out of consciousness for the next two weeks. Whenever he was awake, he could dimly remember the nightmares, the waves, the teeth and the coldness, but these memories were always hazy and strangely frozen in time. But also, whenever he was awake, one of his two ladies, as he started to think of them whenever he was able to think, was with him, giving him drinks and comfort.  
It would almost have been nice to be pampered like that, he thought, if it wasn't for the pain. He could not understand how a limb that wasn't there any more could hurt so much and several times wished for the orca to at least suffer vile and severe indigestion together with a nice constipation from having eaten his boot.  
_Maybe ye burst_, he thought now and then. _Burst and spill yer filthy innards all over the place._

Yet even with all that, he felt he was slowly feeling better and getting stronger again. In all the time he was lying there, more or less conscious, he was never alone, and whenever he was wide awake enough, he would be given a drink and some sweet and comforting words.

And so, after these two weeks, he sat up in his bed for the first time and, for the first time as well, had a look at himself, or what was left of him. He was alone with Elizabeth when he flapped back the blanket and looked at the leg. Elizabeth gently placed her hand on his shoulder. „How are you?"  
He shrugged without taking his eyes of the leg. „Could've been worse", he said. „I still have the knee, so I won't have to waddle around like a scarecrow."  
Then he looked up at her. „See, I've been really lucky. Here, there's an orca having tried to eat me and all I've lost is hardly more than a foot." He looked back at the leg again. „Maybe I'm such an old, vile and tough little scumbag full of rum that even an hungry orca won't eat me." He grinned at Elizabeth and she couldn't help but smile in return.

„Or maybe it was a she-orca, and she didn't mean to eat my leg at all… I mean, orcas are pretty big beasties after all and she just got it wrong…"  
„Jack Sparrow", Elizabeth interrupted him with a laugh. „I can't believe that you… Then just be glad she got it wrong, is all I say." She shook her head and still chuckling, ran a hand through his hair. He flashed her an impish grin.

„I'm so very glad you haven't lost your spirit nor your sense of humour, Jack", she said then and Jack smiled and shrugged. „Some men…", she went on. „…do take it really grim, being…"  
„Crippled?", he finished the sentence for her. „Lizzie, please. I do realise how you and Imogen shy away from words like ‚crippled' and ‚stump' but please, do us all the favour and get over it. It could've been worse."

Using his arms he propped himself up against the wall. „Lizzie." She gave him a tiny smile and he took her hand. „I don't feel particularly crippled, meself. But I would be..." he broke off and lowered his eyes. It took him a while before he could consciously form that sentence in his mind and even longer to actually force it out between strangely resisting lips. He took a deep breath. „I would've been devastated if they had gotten Imogen", he said in a low voice without looking up. „If she'd been harmed or… or even drowned…" He forced himself to look at her. „That would've crippled me, Lizzie."

Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his cheek. „I know", she said simply and he gave her a rueful smile. „Aye, ye do, don't ye", he said and she smiled softly as she took his hand.

„See", he went on brightly to shake off this particular mood , „ Isn't it strange how we pop in at yer place bedraggled and in a heap, to be patched up by ye and disappear again only to show up again, being again in the need of being patched up? Must feel like ye live in a sick-bay…" he added with a grin.  
Elizabeth smiled slightly."I just hope it doesn't go on like this", she said and Jack lifted his eyebrows.  
„Well, luv, I do hope as well that me loosing me legs doesn't turn into a habit after the next one."  
Elizabeth shook her head, rolling her eyes. „Jack…"  
„What?"  
She kissed his forehead. „Nothing. I'm just glad that you're still your annoying, exasperating self."  
„Is that so", he said in a low voice, catching her eyes with his. Elizabeth nodded mutely and he smiled and took her other hand. „Give us a kiss, Lizzie", he whispered and she leaned forward, meeting his lips with hers in a soft, passionate kiss.

x x x x x x x x

Bill found Imogen in the garden, staring across the city towards the harbour and bay. He cleared his throat to announce his presence, afraid he might startle her otherwise. She turned and smiled at him. „Billy", she said, holding out a hand to him. He took it and stood beside her.  
"How are you this morning?", he asked and she looked at the sea again.  
"Restless." He looked down at her but she didn't look up. „I keep thinking about me ship, Billy."  
„Your father told you it is in Tortuga and waiting for you."

„That's what I mean." Then she turned and looked at him. „I'm fed up with wearing stupid dresses that make me trip over all the time", she said, making him smile. „I'm fed up with these people here looking down their noses at me because I don't have several first names. I'm fed up with having to pick at me food rather than eat it and I'm sick of drinking that sweet, sticky rotten stuff instead of rum."

„Sherry?" Billy raised his eyebrows and Imogen snorted.  
„I'm no lady, Billy, and there's no use in pretending to be one. And everyone here knows it. I'm a pirate, aye? I need to get away from here."  
„I don't hear anyone telling you no."  
She stared straight ahead and let her shoulders drop with an angry sigh.  
„Imogen", he said gently, took her by the shoulders and turned her around so she was looking at him. „No one here. Not your father, I'm sure, and not me, certainly. All I ask is…"  
She slowly tilted her head. „Do ye still want to come with me, Billy?"

„I do", he said. „For two simple reasons." He smiled and took her hands in his. „Number one: I've finally been to sea after I wasn't allowed to for years. And I want to go back. Number two: you." He kissed her fingers and Imogen rolled her eyes but smiled. „I don't want to be parted from either of you again", Bill went on. „And if you tell me now I could as well sign on with a merchant here then I tell you that I do not want to ever face you on the other side of a naval battle. Because in that precise moment, I'd mutineer and go over to your side and since this is what is going to happen I might as well do so now and save us the trouble, aye?"

Imogen slowly narrowed her eyes, then a corner of her mouth twitched.  
„I know I don't know half of what I should about sailing, but…" he broke off, unable to interpret Imogen locked up facial expression. „Imogen… have I said something wrong?"  
„No…" she said with a shaking voice. „No, ye haven't." Then she chuckled.  
Bill raised his eyebrows but had to grin, and she suddenly let go of his hands and covered her face with hers. He could hear he snort through her fingers. „Imogen?"

She dropped her hands, threw back her head and laughed. Billy placed his hand at the back of his neck with a slightly embarrassed grin and watched her, feeling incredibly relieved. He had been worried that she would never laugh again.  
She laughed and snorted and then threw her arms around Bill's neck. „So ye don't want to be parted from me, do ye", she chortled and he nodded. Then she took a deep breath and shook her head. When she looked at him again, she was still smiling, but the glitter had disappeared from her eyes.

"Billy", she said in a low voice. „I've been caught pick pocketing and have been send first to jail and then to a convent to be turned into a useful girl again. Had they known I was a pirate's daughter, do you know what would've happened?"  
„I can guess", Bill said, not sure he liked where this seemed to go.  
„I think so. Ye watched Jack hang, after all. Girl or no, Billy, they would've hanged me had I had a brand or something, or had there been someone who would've known me. And nowadays, ye know, they don't give ye a second chance. They don't brand pirates any more. They just hang them."

She ran a hand down his cheek. „I'm a walking dead, as is every pirate. The moment someone seizes me, I'm dead. And if ye go with me, Billy, then ye'll not only have to sail under my command. Ye have to kill under my command, 'cause if ye don't, ye yerself and yer mates will get killed. Ye have to kill, and ye have to rob. Ye'll have to fire on other ships, English or other, and kill. And the moment ye do, ye face the gallows, as everyone of us does."

Billy swallowed but nodded. „I know all that, Imogen."  
She cocked an eyebrow and twitched a corner of her mouth into a wry smile. „Ye might", she said. „By hearsay. But do ye really know? Can ye do it? Can ye shoot a man because I tell ye so?" She stared at him with slightly narrowed eyes and Bill swallowed. It took him a while to answer. "I don't know", he whispered.  
„I thought ye might not", she said, but her voice held neither contempt nor scorn. „I ask ye to think about it again. Some people have strange romantic notions about pirates, even if we're the bane of all decent folk. We're not noble savages of the seas, Billy. We're criminals."

She then turned and walked past him, touching his arm as she left. He could do nothing else but stare after her with a strange feeling of having been rebuked and rebuffed at the same time, even if all she had said was to think about it again. He sat down on the bench and looked at his hands. Her words echoed in his head.

_I'm a walking dead._

_Can ye shoot a man because I tell ye so?_

_We're criminals._

Of course he had had romantic notions of pirates when he had been a boy. And of course, later, he had realised that all these things were not true. Maybe they were, to an extend. But she was absolutely right, and he had known that. Criminals, murderers, robbers.  
It had only been that short, strange encounter with Captain Jack Sparrow and his daughter that had led him to believe that there was something to the romantic notions after all, that there was some truth in the legends of noble savages of the sea. And now he had two choices.

One was to accept that he had fallen in love with a criminal who would face the gallows and be hanged as soon as a navy officer would get his hands on her, so it would be best to try and forget her and look for another woman. He snorted. Another woman. The image of Imogen, standing at the helm of her ship in the starry, moonlit night with the breeze ruffling her curls had burned itself into his soul. Another woman.

As if any woman could compare herself to her…

As if any woman could invoke the same feelings that she had…

As if he could really make himself forget Imogen, the woman who had made him soar like an eagle with her lovemaking… with even just smiling at him in that special way…

He shook his head. So there was the second option, and that was to become a criminal himself. Go with her, and never be able to set foot into Port Royal again, at least not in bright daylight. He wasn't giving in to any delusions that he would be as apt in fooling people as was Jack Sparrow. Go with her, sail the seas, kill other men and rob their wares. And sooner or later, rather sooner than later, as it was, end at the gallows rather than in his bed at a ripe old age surrounded by mourning children and grandchildren.

He got up wearily and sighed. Then an idea struck him and he shook his head im grim amusement. He could think of one person to help him with his dilemma, and he was going to ask her even if he knew it would most certainly cause her pain. Taking a deep breath, he smoothed down his shirt and went to find his mother.

x x x x x x x x

He hadn't found her anywhere in the house, so he finally knocked at the door to the room where they had put Jack. He opened the door and cautiously stepped in to find not only his mother but Imogen as well sitting on each side of his bed.

„How is he?", he asked and Imogen looked up. „He's definitely getting better", she said, and Bill was sure there was more than a hint of annoyance in her voice.  
„I'm hanging in there", Jack muttered with closed eyes. „Barely."  
Bill felt the corners of his mouth twitch on their own accord. His eyes wandered to his mother who looked at Jack with a stoic face. "We are not giving him any rum yet", she said and Jack opened his eyes to glare at Bill.  
„They are making me drink milk", he complained. „Can ye imagine that?" Imogen rolled her eyes and Billy had to grin.

„Well, I must say, that's a hard lot", Bill said and walked around the bed to where his mother sat, filling up a glass with the rum that was standing there beside the teapot. „I tell you what"; he said, looking first at Imogen, then at his mother. „Give him the darn rum to make him stop complaining, and if he pukes it out again because his body is not strong enough to handle it…", he handed the glass to Jack with a flourish who took it with a glowing, mistrusting glare, „…then give him a rag and let him clear up the mess himself."

Elizabeth slowly cocked an eyebrow as she looked at Jack who held on to his glass as if it was a trophy of war. Shooting first Imogen, then Elizabeth a glance he took a cautious, tiny sip, closed his eyes in bliss and with a sigh, let his head fall back against the wall. „I'm not puking yet", he said with a grin.

Elizabeth and Imogen exchanged a glance that contained several books and both shook their heads in unison.

„Bless ye, Billy me lad", Jack said, taking another sip. Then he opened his eyes and grinned, first at Imogen, then at Elizabeth. After a third sip had proven to be harmless, as well, he sighed and put the glass down, resting it on his thigh.  
"Billy me lad, I gather Imogen has told ye she wants to set sail."  
"She has", Bill gave back and sat down on the little footstool that was standing beside his mother's chair.  
„So have ye made up yer mind yet?"  
„I haven't, but I can't see what that's to you, Jack." He heard Imogen slowly intake her breath and shot a glance at his mother who, as she so often did, lately, looked at him with an absolutely expressionless face.

„I tell ye that, Billy. I don't want to see me daughter sail off with a wimp who gets her into trouble because he can't follow orders."  
„And what would you do about it choose I to go with her?"  
„Depends", Jack said. He took another sip of his rum and did not take his eyes off Bill. The grin had vanished completely from his face as well as from his eyes. „But if ye make me believe you're up to it, I'll let ye sail gladly."  
„And if I don't?"  
Jack lowered his lids, looked at Imogen for a second and looked back. „In that case…", he said in a low voice, „… I'll let ye go as well, if not gladly. Maybe I'll be proven wrong. But if not…" Jack's voice suddenly became very dark and more than a little threatening without him moving a single muscle in his face, „… and if ye get her into trouble, then I'll find ye, lad. And ye'll rue the day ye were born."

"Stop that, Jack", Imogen said angrily. „I'm very well capable of dealing with that meself."  
He turned his head and shot her a grin. „Oh, I know that well, luv. Just do me the favour and leave an old man in the delusion that he's still able to protect ye, lass."  
Imogen was about to snap something at him when the meaning of his words reached her brain and she swallowed. A stony silence spread out in the room.

Jack slowly took another sip of his rum. „Make yer own choices, the two of ye. I can't help nor hinder ye. But Billy, I swear…" he looked at Bill with glowing eyes, but Bill held his gaze with an outstretched jaw, „… if she comes to harm because you've been as stupid as yer father could be did he want to, then I'll make ye stand up for it."

He let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. „And now do me a favour and leave us and take Imogen with ye to settle that matter, 'cause I imagine yer mother's got a few words for me now."

Bill raised his eyebrows and looked at Imogen who slowly got up and followed him out of the room. Outside, they exchanged a long, thoughtful look, then Imogen shrugged and hooked her arm into his. „She'll not scalp him", she said. „I rather hope. And now I need a drink too, and by the way ye look, Billy, ye do as well." She closed the door and only then did Jack slowly open his eyes to look at Elizabeth from the corner of his eyes. She wasn't exploding, yet, but he could see that all-too familiar glow in her eyes that told him he had crossed a line.

"Jack Sparrow", she said through gritted teeth. „You vile, selfish old scumbag! How dare you threaten my son in my very presence!"  
He swallowed and tried to smile at her, but the rage in her eyes as well as in her voice made him falter. „Lizzie… I wasn't threatening. I was just merely stating a fact."  
"God, Jack, crippled or no, I've no mercy for you right now", she said and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. He stared into her glowing eyes and felt her stare bore into his soul. „If you do so much as ever…"  
"Lizzie", he said in a low voice. „Come to yer senses. What do ye think I'd do?"  
She took a deep breath with flaring nostrils, then let go of his shirt. „To be frank, I couldn't imagine for the life of me what you can and can't do, Jack Sparrow."

„Lizzie ye hurt me", he said, still locked in her gaze. „Do ye really think I could harm him? Yer son? Me?"  
„You just said as much…"  
"No", he said. „I didn't say I would harm him. I told him I would make him stand up for it."  
„So where's the difference?", she asked, feeling the rage at his impertinence slowly cool off.  
Jack sensed that and took her hand. „I thought ye knew that", he whispered. Elizabeth took another deep breath.  
"Lizzie", he said again and his eyes were suddenly an open window into his soul. She couldn't help but lay a hand on his cheek. „I wouldn't harm a hair on his head. I'd leave that to you."

She blinked and tilted her head and he smiled a rueful, tiny smile. „If Imogen ever came to harm due to his fault, I'd find him and drag him screaming and kicking to yer doorstep, Lizzie, and let yerself deal with him. Because you know." He swallowed and leaned a little closer. „Ye know, Lizzie, what that would do to me, don't ye." Then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. „I do, Jack", she whispered and ran a hand through his hair. „I know."


	18. Chapter 18

Insert standard disclaimer here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 18**

Bill and Imogen settled down in the room that she inhabited for the time being, equipped with two bottles of rum.  
„I want to make this absolutely clear", Imogen said as she uncorked one of the bottles. „Ye said yerself that ye don't know a thing about sailing and all that."  
"I didn't say that"; Billy gave back, holding out his glass. „I said I don't know as much as I should."

"Suit yerself", Imogen said, poured his glass full and unceremoniously took a swig out of the bottle. „In any case, ye've got a lot to learn."  
"I don't deny that at all."  
„Fine", she said and grinned. Bill smiled but felt he was being treated like a little boy wanting to go along for a ride. And felt the need to say as much. „Imogen I'm not an eight year old boy who…  
"And don't I know that?", she snapped back. „Despite that I've got the feeling of yer behaving like one."  
He leaned back and took a deep breath. „And why is that so?"  
„Ye act like a boy who wants to be a pirate captain, mate." She narrowed her eyes.  
Bill took another breath and couldn't get rid of the feeling she was trying to enrage him on purpose. "I don't want to be a pirate captain for gods sake, I only want…

"To be a pirate, aye. I told ye about the bit with the gallows, didn't I?" Her voice dripped with scorn and Bill's nerves snapped. He jumped out of his chair. "For god's sake, Imogen!", he yelled and threw the glass at the wall were it shattered with a sprinkle of shards and a splash of rum. „I love you! Is that so hard to understand? No, I don't fancy the gallows nor do I fancy shooting other men, but for hell's sake, if that is what it takes to be able to be near you then by the devil's hairy arse, I'll do it!" He ran a hand down his face and sighed. „If you still want me, that is. Seems like it won't be necessary, after all."

For a few seconds, they stared at each other, then Imogen got up as well, setting the bottle down. „Here mate, sit ye down again", she said softly. „Sorry for making ye so livid."

He swallowed, but then slowly sat down again. Imogen handed him the bottle and he took a swig, a far more generous one than he had ever taken from a glass. He shuddered and handed the bottle back. Imogen took a swig herself and took a step towards him, then she slowly sat down sideways on his lap and leaned against his shoulder. He stared at her for a moment, and then, with a sigh, he closed his arms around her. „Why did you do that, Imogen?"  
She chuckled. „Don't be angry with me, but I've never seen ye get angry at all. Ye were always nice and sweet and friendly, and that's no attitude that gets ye round on a pirate ship."  
„So you made me fall into a rage to see if I could?" He looked down at her and she reached up and touched his cheek. „Aye", she said. „I know they say that anger is a bad adviser, but having too long a patience with anyone can be a bad thing."  
Bill shook his head. „And now? Do I finally qualify?"  
She grinned like a cat. „Maybe. I'm not done yet, but ye just about might."  
He lifted his eyebrows.

„So ye've sailed", she said. „For how long?"  
„About six months, I guess."  
„Well, that's about what it takes", she gave back. „Don't have to explain every thing to ye, then. And can ye fight with a sword?"  
„I can."  
„Have ye ever fought?"  
„I just said…"  
"Aye, so ye did. But have ye ever fought? Really fought? For yer life?"  
Bill swallowed and shook his head. „No."  
„Can ye read maps and charts?"  
"I can. What is this, some kind of a…  
"Bear with me, Billy", she said. „Be sweet and hand me the bottle, aye?"

Narrowing his eyes, Bill leaned forward and took the bottle. She smiled sweetly as he handed it to her and he had to smile in return. She took a swig and offered the bottle to him but he declined with a smile and a shake of his head. She cocked an eyebrow. „Can ye hold yer bottle?"  
„And how would I know if I qualify? How much do I have to be able to drink?"  
„That's each man's own lot to take", she said. „If ye know when to stop before knocking yerself senseless or start being useless than that's fine with me."  
"I do know that", he said slowly. „Although I might qualify for a sissy for stopping before anyone else does."  
"Matter of practice", she said and took another swig. This time, he took the bottle when she offered it.

„Can ye use a compass and navigate by the stars?"  
„Theoretically."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
„That I know how but never tried it on a ship."  
„Right. And now tell me: Do ye need a louse-rake to blow up the bottle?"

He stared at her in open-mouthed stupefaction. „A…what?"

Imogen threw back her head and laughed. Bill closed his mouth again and gave her an uncomfortable look, not too sure whether she was laughing about the fact that he hadn't known what she was on about or his facial expression. „Care to tell me…"  
"A louse-rake is a comb", Imogen said and grinned. „And to blow up the bottle means to sell the stolen goods and drink away the profit."  
„So… in that case, I assume the answer is no, then", he said slowly.  
She snorted. „Indeed ye don't, mate." Then she leaned over and kissed him. „Welcome aboard", she said when she leaned back. „Figuratively speaking."  
He blinked and then realised what she had said. „So… I qualify?"  
„Ye sound like a chart man, or a navigator. After I taught ye how to actually steer a ship ye'll do just fine."

He hugged her closer. „Glad you see it that way", he muttered and kissed her again. The way she responded to his kiss made him not only feel hot but also feel she really was on the mend again and he rather hoped that her body at least could forget about what had been done to her. He knew, of course, that she still had nightmares; there were still the dark smudges under her eyes that bespoke of little sleep. But maybe now that she didn't need to avoid any touch and contact any more, maybe the wounds in her soul could begin to heal.

Bill slowly let himself slide down out of the chair to the ground, not breaking their kiss, and registered with astonishment that she had managed to hold on to him and kiss him without letting go of the bottle nor spilling a drop. He leaned back and she snuggled close to him, bottle still in hand. He reached for it and took a swig, then set it aside and leaned over her.

One of her hands buried into his hair and dragged his face down, and while he kissed her again, her other hand busied itself with his fly, making his breath go faster. He had to break free after a while to catch his breath. „Imogen", he whispered into her ear.  
„Aye, that'd be me name", she gave back with a snigger, not stopping what her hand was doing. „That's a nice cutlass ye have there, lad, but what ye need is a good scabbard."  
Taking a deep breath, he rolled on top of her, shoving her skirts up in the process. „Prepare to be boarded", he murmured into her ear with a grin and she chuckled.

x x x x x x x x

Bill watched in amusement, as he was straightening his clothes, how she sat with her back against the wall with her hair askew and her dress falling down one shoulder, the bottle of rum in one hand. She winked at him and took a sip.  
Smiling, he crawled over to her and she held to bottle out to him. He took it, had a sip and leaned forward. „Did you like that, then?", he asked softly and she smiled with a nod.  
"Aye, I did. Ye're a fine man to have, Billy."  
„Am I? Now that gladdens my heart."

She gave him a cat-like grin and, crossing her legs, leaned forward. Her face was very serious, all of a sudden, when she looked back up at him and spoke. „Billy, I've a dangerous journey to take when I'm back at sea."  
He tilted his head and looked at her with raised eyebrows.  
„I know I can't undo what…", she faltered and cleared her throat. „What he… he has…"

„Imogen", Bill said softly and knelt down beside her, taking her into his arms. „I can understand your hesitation, but I think you should not avoid using that name."  
She glared up at him. "Don't ye dare to spoon-feed me, Billy. I've…"  
„No, don't…. Imogen, please, listen." He laid a hand on her cheek. „It's what I think you should do. Think about it. Listen… I think you should not avoid using his name because as long as you shy away from him or even his name, the memories will still have power over your soul. He will still have power over your soul. To overcome an enemy, you have to face him and stare him down, aye?"

She took a deep breath. „Aye, and I think ye're right. Well then." She felt herself stiffen. „Barbossa, I'm going to find ye", she said and shuddered, then forced herself to open her eyes. „I'll find him and his cursed ship and then I'm going to turn him into shark-bait."

Bill took a deep breath. „Imogen", he said carefully and she slowly turned her head at the sound of his voice. He looked unhappily down at her. "I think there is something you should know", he said.

x x x x x x x x

Jack leaned back against the wall and gave his empty glass back to Elizabeth. „I thank ye for that", he said. „Feel better already."  
She smiled. „You can take Jack Sparrow away from the rum… but you can't take the rum away from Jack Sparrow."  
He chuckled. „Oh Lizzie, ye…"

The door burst open with a crash and Imogen stormed in, hair flowing and face distorted in a grimace of fury. She dropped down onto the bed beside Jack's left leg with a force that made him wince in pain. Elizabeth winced as well, but Imogen completely ignored that. „Ye stinking, filthy scumbag!", she screamed at Jack. „Why by the devil's hairy arse didn't ye tell me that Barbossa's dead, ye crab-louse?"  
Jack shook his head, trying to ignore the searing pain in his leg and make his brain work properly again. „Imogen, listen…"  
She placed her hand on his leg, right above the knee and he felt himself pale. Fighting to keep a straight face, he lost his ground in the conversation.

"No, you listen to me, ye smarty! I've been writhing meself in nightmares for weeks now because I couldn't stop thinking what will happen if he comes back for me! Do ye hear me?!"  
„Can't pretend not to the way ye are screaming", Jack snapped back. „I'm sorry luv, but when by Neptune's bollocks could I've told ye? Now will ye please…"  
„I please nothing, ye sorry bastard", she snarled. „Weeks, d'ye hear me? Weeks! It's been weeks since…"  
"I know it's been weeks!", Jack snarled back, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

Elizabeth watched this exchange with a worried expression. She noticed someone hovering in the doorway and saw Bill standing there, looking as taken aback as she herself felt. She waved him inside and gestured at him to close the door to avoid the servants hearing too much, but that was a rather feeble hope, the way the two of them yelled at each other.

„D'ye really think I enjoyed it seeing ye like that? But ye were so out of yer mind that I didn't want to stir up the memories and…"  
„Weeks! Ye let me have nightmares for weeks because…"  
„Because I've been busy with not dying, ye annoying, festering pest!", he yelled back and Imogen suddenly went pale. „I'd thank ye to take yer hand off", Jack snarled and let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes. „Ye hurt me, lass", he whispered.

Imogen slowly turned her head and swallowed, then slowly took her hand away with a trembling lower lip. She was even paler now and her eyes widened as if she really had forgotten about the leg. „Dad", she whispered and Jack opened his eyes with a sigh.  
„Come here, lass", he said softly, holding out one arm. Hesitatingly, looking like a scolded dog, she moved cautiously over and leaned in against his shoulder.  
"I'm sorry, dad", she whispered as Jack closed his arm around her.  
„Don't be. It's all right. I rather see ye fall into a rage than crumble into a heap o' misery."  
She was silent for a while and it was clear that she was fighting back tears. Jack closed his eyes again and took one of her hands in his.

„Did you kill him, Jack?"  
„Aye, I did", he said, opening his eyes again. „Only it's something I'd rather not think of."  
She leaned back a little . „Why…?"  
He swallowed. „Because I, as well, can fall into a rage, luv. I did. He wanted to shoot ye dead and was holding the muzzle of a pistol right into yer face. I kicked ye away when he fired and so he didn't kill ye."  
„I remember that", she whispered and stared at Jack under narrowed brows. „I remember that big, black, gaping hole and remember thinking that I am looking into death…" She shook herself looked back at him. „And what did ye do?"

Jack avoided her eyes. „I attacked him with a cutlass. I was… I was furious. Because of what he had done to ye. I completely lost my mind that day. I've never fallen into a rage that way. I hacked him into pieces." Imogen looked at him with an expressionless face. Jack took a deep breath and looked back at her. „I killed him because I had to. There was no getting you away with him being still alive. But I've never mutilated someone like that while killing him. I have been scared of meself ever since, luv."

Imogen looked at him, a long, considerate look. Then she smiled a tiny smile. „Don't be, Jack. Maybe it was ye felt my rage along together with yer own. It's all right. So he's shark-bait now, anyway. I'd have probably done the same to him."  
Jack took a deep breath. „Would ye, luv?"  
Imogen narrowed her eyes. „Make him suffer beyond belief and prolong his dying as long as I could? I'd certainly have tried."  
Jack carefully cocked an eyebrow. „Well… in that case…" He flashed her a tiny grin. „In that case I might have done old Hector an actual favour, for auld bygone friendship's sake, like…"

Imogen slowly raised her brows and Elizabeth held her breath, exchanging an alarmed look with Bill. Yet Imogen slowly stood up, but when she grinned ever so sweetly at Jack, he swallowed for he knew that this particular face never boded well. „Ye're truly the soul of grace and generosity, Jack Sparrow", she said and got up. Jack was about to let his breath escape when she stopped again. „Hope yer leg gets better", she said and heartily slapped it, making Jack yelp in pain.

Then she left and Jack, groaning deeply in his throat with jaws locked tight in pain, was breathing heavily through his nose.

„I can't say you haven't brought that on you by yourself, Jack Sparrow", Elizabeth said, shaking her head. Jack tried a grin but it turned out a very painful grimace. „Me and my big mouth…" he muttered and shot her a cautious glance. „Lizzie, would ye be able to pass me another glass…  
"There's a whole bottle", Elizabeth said tartly and got up. „Feel free to help yourself." Then she left as well and Jack let his head fall back with a moan. „Billy, please, for the love of god, not you as well", he muttered. „I can't say I didn't deserve that little heap of scorn right now but…"

Wordlessly, Billy filled up a glass with rum and handed it to Jack. He shot Bill a grateful glance and took a sip with a sigh. „Billy, please be so generous as to bring the ladies my plea for forgiveness, will ye?" he asked and Bill slowly opened the door. „I can't really say I pity you, Jack", he said. „But then, I'm not the grudging sort." Then he left and Jack watched the door close behind him.

„Can't say I pity meself right now", he muttered to himself as he took another swig of rum. „Stupid old bastard."


	19. Chapter 19

Insert standard disclaimer here.

I'm getting a bit emotional in this chapter. Ladies, get those boxes of tissues ready.

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**Chapter 19**

Bill found his mother and Imogen sitting in the library and could overhear the last snatches of their conversation before he turned the corner and walked through the door.

„…he is such a big-mouthed bastard", he heard Imogen say. „I can't believe he really said that."  
„His mouth got him into trouble more than once", he heard the resigned voice of his mother say and Imogen snorted. „Ye know what the worst bit is?", she asked and Elizabeth chuckled softly. „That you never, ever can really take it amiss?"  
Imogen silence was an answer in itself. Then she sighed. „No matter what he does, you just can't be angry with him for long", she said, and Bill saw her shook her head with a grimace that was somewhere between a furious annoyance and exasperated amusement. He stopped in the doorframe and Imogen looked up. His mother followed her gaze and turned around.

„I've been sent as an ambassador", Bill said slowly as he stepped in. „He asked me, and I quote his own words, 'to bring the ladies his plea for forgiveness'."  
Imogen raised her brows and Elizabeth shook her head while rolling her eyes. Then both women exchanged a long glance that said a lot, only in a language that Bill couldn't understand.  
„You first", Elizabeth said. „If you feel up to it."  
Imogen got up. „I see how I feel like when I see him again", she muttered. „Do ye have a message for him?"  
Elizabeth shook her head. „Despite my earlier words, right at the moment I do bear quite a grudge. He's upset me twice today and all in one afternoon. If he asks, just give him a shrug."  
Imogen smiled thinly and nodded. She touched Bill's arm in passing as she left.

„Mother", Bill said and closed the door behind him. „Can I have a few words with you?"  
She indicated towards the chair that Imogen had been sitting on and he sat down.  
„I can guess", she said in a low voice. But she didn't say any more, so Billy sighed and ran a hand across his face.  
„Mother, I'll be honest. I still haven't quite digested what you've told me about you and your past."  
„I can't say I blame you", she gave back with a tiny smile. Bill shook his head, smiling himself.  
„You see, which boy of a seaman and a lady can imagine his mother being queen of all pirates? I certainly can't, and I am not a boy any more." He leaned back. „The fact is that you do know more than I do. I want to go with her, but all I know about pirates are either the bed-time stories told to children, be they romantic or bloodthirsty, or their bodies swinging at the gallows."

Elizabeth slowly folded her hands in her lap. „As you guess, there is much more to it than that. All I can tell you is that all these romantic notions originate in the truth. Pirates are free, and if they have a lord or captain, they choose whom it would be. They elect their leaders and answer to no one else, no king, no lord and no governor." Then she too leaned back in her chair and looked at her son in earnest.

„But that comes at a price. They are outcasts and criminals. Rogues. Robbers, killers, and the worst are rapists and slavers as well. You'll be among friends and dangerous men at the same time, Bill. You'll be an outcast. And, as you can guess, you won't likely die in your bed of old age." She swallowed and shook her head. „I am honest, as well. To think of you, my son and only child, ending at the end of a rope makes me feel sick with fear and anguish. Even thinking about it does it. But it is your life, Billy."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and Bill had to lean forward to understand her next, almost whispered words. „But I do understand the pull she has on your soul. God forgive me, I know it all too well. I was an all-normal, well-bred girl before I encountered a pirate for the first time in my life due to the fact that he saved my life. And from that day since, the thought of adventure, freedom and the sea has not left me be."

She swallowed and shook her head, eyes still closed. „I denied the feeling for as long as I could, and when I could no longer deny it, I started to fight it. I managed to lock it away, but it was a feeble cage, Billy, and it kept escaping. But by then, it was far too late to change my mind, I was married and you were there, too." She opened her eyes again and Bill had to swallow for he had never, ever seen such pain in his mother's eyes. „I did love your father Bill, never doubt that. But there was a time in my life when I was torn between two men and had to make a choice."

Then she leaned forward again and took both his hands in hers. „I did make a choice, and while I did love your father, the choice I made was wrong."

She fell silent for a while and kept looking into his eyes. He wasn't sure what she wanted to see there, or if she wanted to see anything at all and just waited for him to reply, but looking into her eyes, he could do nothing but listen.

„One man was the love of my life", she finally went on. „The gentle, caring, loving man that every girl wishes for. The other was my wildest desire, but I was afraid of what would become of me if I chose to go with him. I hadn't realised, by the time I made my choice that I had changed already beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I didn't realise it before it was too late and I couldn't turn back. I loved your father and went with him, but he was the wrong man for me. I should have gone with another, but I didn't."

She let go of his hands and leaned back again with a rueful, tiny smile. „I can imagine how hard it is to think of your mother and wildest desire in the same sentence." He smiled wryly and she chuckled softly and went on. „I listened to my head, not my heart. That is, I listened to what I thought my heart was telling me even if it kept screaming something else." Elizabeth looked at her hands and fingered with the golden, dragon-shaped ring. „I can not advise you any better than that, Billy, but I ask you only that: If you do make your choice, be well aware of what you are letting go and what you take, and if you are really willing to let it go to take something else. For I had thought what I was letting go was something I did not want nor need." She looked up again, her eyes brimming with tears. „I was wrong."

She got up and walked to the window, staring outside with unseeing eyes. His heart felt heavy when he looked at her and he stood up as well, walked over and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed softly into his shoulder. „Billy, by god, listen to your heart. I can see the hold she's got over you, god help me, she is so much alike to her father that it hurts to see you two together." She pressed her face into his shoulder. „She has that same vexing magnetism he had, and still has. I do know exactly how you feel, Billy." She looked up. „Exactly."

Then she reached up and touched his cheek while smiling at him through her tears. „Listen to your heart, Bill, and whatever your choice is, it must be yours alone. But if you promise me to try and not get hanged, then go with my blessing. You'll never be an outcast to me."  
He swallowed and nodded. „Thank you", he said softly.  
"I see you love her, Billy", Elizabeth said with a sad smile. „And whatever you do, don't forget that in our lives, we will regret the things we should have done and didn't do more than we regret the things we did and shouldn't have done."  
He nodded again. „I see", he said. „I think I do really see, mum. I've seen you look at him, after all. Maybe you will be able to find some redemption for the years your love hast lost."

She shook her head with a sad and painful smile. „No, Billy, there is no redemption. Nothing can bring back lost time and the easiness of youth. And while we may yet enjoy a few years of each other's company and love, we will never be able to do so without the bitterness about what we have lost. Remember that, Billy. You only have that one life. Live it right, even if it means it will be short, rather than have a long life full of regret."

He nodded again and let her go. He wanted to say something else, but nothing he could say could in any way be appropriate and while he could see the pain in her eyes, he was sure he couldn't begin to grasp how she must feel. So he just sighed, turned around and left her alone with her sorrow.

x x x x x x x x

Jack cautiously opened his eyes as the door opened. He tried to smile at Imogen but felt the grin only reluctantly spread on his lips. She didn't smile as she sat, slowly and cautiously this time, down on the bed beside him. Neither of them spoke for a while. "Jack", she said at last. „You're a stupid, foul-mouthed, daft old bastard."  
„I don't deny that." He didn't look at her and she sighed. Not knowing what to say he kept silent and waited for her to speak again. He didn't have to wait for too long.

„Jack?"  
„What is it, luv?"  
„What did he say?"  
„Barbossa?"  
She nodded mutely.

He took a deep breath. „He didn't say much, luv. He said he hadn't done much to ye and had given you opium to make you… enjoy…", he swallowed but she didn't move a muscle in her face. „Enjoy what he had been doing", he went on. „He didn't say anything else about you, I'm afraid, until he held that gun into yer face."  
She looked him square in the face. „He raped me", she said bluntly and Jack winced. „I don't know, but it's a good guess", he said with a bitter taste on his tongue.  
"No, I know it. I don't remember it, but my body does."  
Jack felt a lump in his throat as he reached out and touched her cheek. „I'm… Imogen I don't know what…" He broke off, feeling utterly helpless. She took his hand and gave him a brave attempt at a smile. „It's not as bad as it was, Jack. Billy's helped me to forget."

„Has he", Jack replied and she nodded, this time with a true smile on her face.  
„He's a good man to have, Jack. I do love him, ye know."  
„Aye, I've seen that", he said tonelessly, making her raise her brows.  
„Take him with ye", Jack said without looking at her. „And if ye discover then ye don't like him, throw him overboard or drop him off or whatever, but at least ye won't have to worry for the rest of yer live about what could've been."  
„Like you do?"  
He gave her a bitter smile. „Aye, like I do."  
„Jack, why didn't you tell her?"

He looked up at her and the pain in his eyes made her swallow. „I tried", he said. „But no matter what I said, it came out wrong. Or maybe she was hearing it wrong. And when it finally came to pass, it was my stupid pride that got in the way of me telling her what I truly felt. Yet the question remains if she would've believed me."  
„But why shouldn't she?", Imogen asked and he twitched his lips into a lopsided, wry grin.  
„Because I'm a pirate? A villain, rogue, thief, liar and a scumbag?"  
„But she trusted you with her life…"  
„Aye." He looked away. „But not with her heart."  
Imogen swallowed. She had never seen him in so much unmasked, unhidden pain.

„No matter what I did or said, it drove her further and further away from me", he said tonelessly and closed his eyes. „And now, after more than twenty years, I find out that she wasn't afraid of me but of herself, all the time. It's enough to drive anyone insane." He fell silent and stared at the ceiling. "Take him", he whispered. „Take him with ye, and I wish ye joy of each other. And now please leave me, I want to be alone."  
"Jack…  
"Leave me, please."  
She swallowed and patted his hand, then leaned forward, kissed his cheek and wordlessly got up and left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Jack let his head fall back against the wall. „I should've bloody kissed her on that bloody island", he muttered, ignoring the tear that was trickling down his cheek.

x x x x x x x x

Imogen found Elizabeth still in the library. She was hugging herself and staring out of the window. „Elizabeth?"  
„I'm sorry, Imogen, can you come back later? I need…"  
"I'm sorry", Imogen interrupted her. „I'll be off in a moment, I just thought…" She sighed. „I've just spoken to Jack. I think you should go to him."  
Elizabeth turned around, raising her eyebrows at her expression as well as her tone. „Is he that contrite?"

Imogen gave her a long, considering look. „He is", she said. „But not because of what he said to me." She took a step back and reached for the door. „For what he never said to you." Then she turned, leaving Elizabeth staring at the empty doorframe with fresh tears welling up in her eyes. It almost sounded like as if the two of them had had a similar conversation as she and Bill. She left the library and slowly walked up the stairs, but felt very hesitating as she stood before the door.

What was there possibly any of them could say or do to make it better? Nothing would bring back lost time, and nothing could bring back lost youth. She angrily wiped her face, but the tears wouldn't stop. She stared at the doorknob and suddenly heard his voice call out softly from within. „Come in, Lizzie."  
She opened the door and closed it behind her, turning around only very slowly. „How did you know…", she began and Jack sighed. „I heard you sob."

She walked towards the bed and stopped, looking down at him. A deep furrow was carved into his brow as he looked at her. „Stop weeping, Lizzie, please."  
„I can't", she said simply and sat down on the bed beside him. Jack took her hands into his but didn't say a word, and they both remained silent for a long while.  
„Jack, I wish…", Elizabeth began, not knowing how she could phrase it without sounding stupid. He looked up at her and she shrugged. „I wish I could undo the past, Jack."  
„A rather futile wish."  
„And don't I know that? But can you blame me for wanting to turn back time?"  
The tiniest notion of a smile flitted across his face. „Oh, turn back time, ye can."

Elizabeth slowly tilted her head.  
„I know of a fountain…"  
"And I am not going to drink from it, Jack. I don't want to be immortal, I want to go back in time and make different choices."  
„And don't I know the difference, Lizzie?" He looked up at her, the sorrow unhidden in his warm, brown eyes. „So do I, believe me."  
She smiled sadly at him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. „What would you do differently?"

He swallowed and looked past her. „I would…" He faltered. What exactly, indeed? He narrowed his eyes and blinked a few times. „I think I would… try and tell ye the truth, Elizabeth. I would kiss you on that island and tell you the truth, hoping that ye'd believe me."  
„The truth?" She leaned forward, but he still didn't look at her.  
„Aye, the truth. And later, I would try it again. I would tell you the truth after ye kissed me to kill me, and I would tell you the truth when ye'd have gotten me back."  
„The truth?", Elizabeth asked again and he nodded.

"The truth. About how ye've bewitched me from the moment I first laid eyes on ye. About how ye took me by me heart and made me do things I'd never thought I'd be the man to do them. About how I felt about ye Lizzie. That I've never wanted a woman like I wanted you." He looked at her again and Elizabeth felt her tears well up freshly. „Only if ye'd have believed me…"  
„I don't know", she whispered. „But I do know that there were a few moments when I wished for you to say it, wanting desperately to believe it. Inside me. Deep inside me."  
He shook his head without taking her eyes away from hers. „And what would you have done differently?"  
It was her turn to swallow now. „I would have listened to my heart", she whispered. „I would have listened to what my heart really told me instead of what I thought it did."

Jack didn't answer her for a while, and when he did, his voice was a hoarse whisper. „Why do we do this, Lizzie? Why do we torture ourselves with these futile, stupid musings about things that we can't change?"  
Elizabeth shrugged. „I don't know. Maybe regret is too human a feeling as not to have a strong hold onto a soul." She sighed softly. „Jack, I can't say how sorry I am that…  
"Elizabeth, I am sorry too…"

They looked at each other for a while, captured in each other's eyes, suffering with each other's sorrow and pain.  
"I'm sorry for having been such an insufferable, stupid, proud, arrogant bastard", he whispered.  
"And I'm sorry for not allowing me to see this was just because you were afraid of showing your true feelings", she replied, smiling through her tears. She let go of his hands and laid hers on his cheeks instead, resting her forehead against his. Jack slowly lifted his hands as well, cupping her face, but neither of them spoke.

„You first, Lizzie", he whispered after a few heartbeats.  
„Why me?", she whispered back without opening her eyes.  
„For no other reason than I ask you to", he replied, gently brushing his thumbs along her cheekbone. She swallowed. „It's amazing how hard it is", she whispered.  
He chuckled softly under his breath. „Just think of it as a pusboil. Just a little painful squeeze and the worst is over."  
„Jack, you are impossible", she said, slightly shaking her head, brushing the tip of his nose with her own. „Why not you first, then?"

His breath quickened, but so did hers. „Lizzie", he whispered, then swallowed several times. „Elizabeth…", he began again, then shook his head with what was almost an angry sigh. „Stupid old bastard", he muttered. „God, Lizzie I… I can't…"  
"You can", she whispered back. „You wanted to tell the truth, didn't you? Better now than never."  
„You're cruel", he gave back and took another breath. They still hadn't moved. „But you're beautiful. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, the most bewitching, wild and fey creature I've ever met. I want you, Lizzie… I…", he licked his dry lips. „I love you."  
"Jack", she whispered. „I love you… you vexing, irritating, devilishly handsome pirate, you and your damn enticing eyes… I love you."

One of his hands slid around her neck and pulled her face closer, and she met his parted lips with hers. Their kiss tasted of salt, the salt of their regret and their sorrow about that which was irrevocably lost, but also of their joy of finally having found what they both had so longed for. Elizabeth slung her arms around him and their kiss deepened, growing more and more passionate and hungry with every heartbeat until finally, when they parted, they were both short of breath when they rested their forehead against each other's again. „Lizzie", he murmured.

„Elizabeth", he whispered, and only then did she open her eyes. His face was as moist with tears as her own. „Lizzie", he said again, making her blink away new tears with the utter gentleness in his voice. „I know there's not much left of me, but if ye want that old, rotting, sorry carcass of a pirate, then I'd gladly stay with ye."  
„Oh Jack", she said, running a hand through his hair. „But you belong to the sea."  
He smiled a little rueful smile. „Oh aye… I do… in a way but…" He took one of her hands and lifted her fingers to his lips. „I may have outstayed my welcome a bit. I think I've outlived any expectations for a seaman, pirate or no."  
„But you couldn't really leave the sea behind, could you?", she asked and he twitched a corner of his mouth into one of his lopsided, glittering grins. „Oh, where do you think to, luv. Of course I don't. I still have me ship. But I'm getting a bit on in years and maybe I'm not really fit for the whole piracy business any more."  
„And these words from you?", she asked and he shrugged. "I received a friendly warning shot a couple of weeks ago. I shouldn't try to out swim neither storms nor orcas anymore, luv. And what I certainly can't do anymore is stand my ground in a fight. Ye have to get used to a wooden leg much younger to be able to remain a nimble fighter."

„So what do you propose?", Elizabeth asked and kissed his forehead. He smiled at her and kissed her fingers again. „Oh, nicely put, luv. I do propose, that is, I rather ask ye if you could think, after being Miss Swann for the first twenty years of yer life and Mrs and widow Turner for the next…" He kissed her fingers again and then met her eyes, locking her gaze into his. „…if ye could think of yourself as Mrs McGuyre for the coming twenty years or so."  
„But he's a farce", Elizabeth whispered, shaking her head with a smile.  
"Damn no he isn't", Jack replied in a deep voice. „That's who I am, luv. Jonathan Jacob McGuyre. McGuyre being my mother's name."  
„But I thought Captain Teague…."  
"Captain Teague is many things, luv, but certainly not Captain Teague Sparrow. He's Captain Teague, and even I don't know his first name. Maybe he doesn't even have one."

"So what about the sparrow?" Elizabeth asked, still smiling at him through her tears. He lifted his eyebrows with another lopsided grin. „Oh, the sparrow. I made that up, luv, after I escaped from a prison for the fourth or fifth time. Because the navy couldn't build a cage with bars tight enough to hold me. The sparrow always found a gap to flit through."  
Then he grinned a little embarrassedly. „And… my mum called me sparrow, as well. When I was very little, like. But don't ye dare to tell anyone, ever, that my piraty name is a pet name my mummy used."  
Elizabeth chuckled. „And what did your father call you?"  
"Brat." He grinned. „Mostly. Sometimes filthy snotnose."

He stared past her for a few seconds, then smiled softly at her and ran his finger across the contour of her face. „But you haven't answered my question, Elizabeth", he said gently. „Yet I ask ye to be honest. Now that you know who I am, I mean. See, after Jonathan McGuyre of the East India Trading Company…"  
"East…"  
„… sank with his ship, I let him die and never more used that name. And by now, everyone is dead who ever knew that man. Not even Imogen knows that, and she's not supposed to know."  
„That she is a McGuyre instead of a Sparrow?"  
Jack chuckled. „Oh, she's a Sparrow, all right. Jack Sparrow is as real or as unreal as Jonathan McGuyre ever was. Or not was. And ye still haven't answered my question."

„Jack", she said, taking a deep breath, locked in his gaze as he was in hers. She took another deep breath and swallowed, but only when she saw Jack's forehead slowly form a furrow was she suddenly able to speak. „I… I do, Jack, I do. Yes, I do want to, and please, don't ever leave me again!" She threw herself into his arms and he hugged her to his chest, chuckling softly under his breath. "I won't, promised. Ye'll ne'er get rid of me again, luv."

She leaned back with a soft laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes. „You… pirate", she muttered and he laughed. Then Elizabeth reached for the bottle that was still standing innocently on the nightstand, uncorked it, threw the cork across the room and brought the bottle to her lips. He watched in amusement as she took a deep, hearty swig. „Drink up, me hearties", she half-spoke, half-sang and handed the bottle to Jack. He hugged her close with one arm and took the bottle with another, looking deeply into her eyes.  
„Yo ho ho", he said in his deepest voice and emptied the bottle in one long, blissful gulp.


	20. Chapter 20

A warm thanks to my readers who took their time to review this. They always make my day. And a thanks also to those who liked it so much they added it to their favourites/alerts. Maybe you find the time to give me a little review at one point? Behold, in this chapter, the curse of the Sparrows.

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 20**

A couple of days later, Elizabeth had a wood turner summoned to her house who measured Jack's legs. He promised to be back in three or four day's time as he packed up and left.

„Well, I must say you've done a fine job", Jack said to Imogen as the craftsman had closed the door behind him. „The scar does hardly hurt anymore."  
Imogen forced herself to remain unmoved, at least outwardly, as she lifted up the leg and ran her hand across the healed wound. „Then what does?", she asked and Jack shrugged with a strange grin. „The part that isn't there anymore", he said in a low voice.  
Imogen patted his shoulder. „Maybe that passes", she said with what she hoped was an encouraging smile. He flashed her a small grin. „Otherwise I'd better get used to it, luv, savvy?"  
Imogen grinned back at him. „It's about time ye get outside again, Jack. Ye're awfully pale."  
„So are you, darling", he gave back and Imogen smiled a little sadly.  
"It's about time we both get away from here", she said, getting up. „This house and these servants and all that is driving me mad."

He didn't reply and just smiled, and Imogen had a weird feeling in her belly that he had meant to say something but hadn't said it because he hadn't wished to upset her.

x x x x x x x x

Jack had to admit that Imogen was right, if only partly. He needed to get away from here as well… but he knew he would be coming back. He just hadn't had the heart to tell her yet that while he would gladly go to Tortuga with her, which was where they would part.  
He sat up on the bed and grimaced, he hadn't sat up straight for so long now that he felt his head swim more than a little bit. Cursing himself for his weakness, he grabbed the wooden leg and turned it in his hand. „Well…", he said, then shrugged and strapped it to his leg.

Carefully, he put it down and then, even more carefully, he got up, arms outstretched as if balancing on the railing of a rocking ship. When he failed to fall over within the first instant, he cautiously lowered his arms and looked around. His clothes, coat and waistcoat were lying on a chair under the window and he gauged the distance, figuring if he would make that distance without falling over. He had refused to have someone help him.

„Jack, please, what if ye fall over?", Imogen had said.  
„Then ye'll hear me curse and swear and can rush in to help me, aye?" he had snapped back.

Then his eyes fell on the silver-knobbed, black walking cane that he had acquired for his impersonification of the wealthy and honourable merchant. He stared at it and then reached for it with a mental shrug. If he was going to limp around like a stepped-on crab, he might as well do so with a bit of style.

Yet he discovered that, after the first few wobbly steps, he managed much better than initially feared. He was able to dress on his own, buttoned up his waistcoat, swiped back his hair into a braid and had a look at himself in the mirror. A slow, lopsided grin spread on his face, then he flashed an extended, bejewelled index finger as his reflection and winked. „That's me boy", he said and, with a last flick at his silken collar, he left the room.

Imogen was waiting for him outside and her face slowly lit up into a smile when she saw him. „How's it going?", she asked and he grinned. „Exceptionally unexpectedly well, luv", he replied and offered her his left arm. She managed a passable curtsy, then slipped her arm through his and walked down the stairs with him.  
„So when are we going to leave, then?", she asked and he pursed his lips. „As soon as I've provisioned the ship, I guess. Are ye in that much of a hurry?"  
She looked away, then shrugged. „Aye, I am. Although I realise that ye're not quite so, yerself." Then she smiled at him and Jack tilted his head. „Darling, I'm sure ye're aware that I want to get away as ye do."  
"No ye don't", Imogen replied gently. „Ye can't."  
"I've…"  
„Yes, I know. But ye'll be coming back, ain't?"

Jack fell silent and then smiled ruefully at his daughter. „Aye, I see ye know me well, indeed, lass. Yes, I'll be coming back."  
„You could've said it, Jack. How stupid d'ye think I am?"  
He grinned. „Stupid enough to still have a soft spot for that soppy old sissy of a pirate captain?"  
Imogen shook her head with a chuckle. „Now that's fair stupid indeed", she muttered.

They reached the bottom of the stairs and walked outside. Stopping at the bottom end of the garden, they both looked out across the city and harbour out to the sea and watched the glittering reflection of sunlight dancing on the waves.

„Jack?", Imogen asked after a while.  
„What is it, luv?"  
„How did ye know where to find me?"  
He didn't have to ask her what she meant. „I didn't know, Imogen." He turned and looked at her. „I just remembered what ye'd told me and didn't want to believe ye had thrown yerself down the cliffs. I didn't want to face that possibility before I'd ruled anything else out, ye know." He smiled slightly at her and she managed a smile in return. „Call it instinct. I don't know."

Imogen slowly lowered her face. „Jack, listen, I'm sorry that..."  
Jack hushed her with a soft noise and lifted her face with putting a finger under her chin. „Stop that, ye don't have to…"  
"I do have to, Jack", she interrupted him. „I have to say it. Please."  
Jack let go of her chin and nodded. „I'm listening, then."  
She took a deep breath. „I am sorry, Jack. I don't know what made me jump. I really don't… it seemed like the only thing to do at the moment. I never thought ye'd come after me and that is something I'm ashamed of. Really, really ashamed. And I can't say how sorry I am to have made ye suffer so much."

„I think if we talk about suffering", Jack said in what was almost a whisper, „Then it's you who has drawn the harder lot, love." He took her hand and she looked up at him. Jack smiled. „I made a deal with the sea that night, Imogen. I saw ye standing at the bow and it hurt me heart to see ye so broken. I had hoped the sea might heal ye. And I said that I'd gladly give anything to have ye back as ye used to be." Her eyes widened and he smiled softly and affectionately down at her. „Considering what might have happened, I think I got off comparatively lightly, savvy?"

Imogen shook her head and sighed, a smile slowly spreading on her face in return to his. „Is there nothing that ye can't make better with a couple of words and a smile, Jack?"  
„Nope", he gave back and turned towards the sea again, leaning on his cane and pulling her close with the other arm. Then they both shared a grin.

x x x x x x x x

Three days later, the ‚Jade Star of Barbados' was ready to set sail. Jack had a long, satisfied look around on deck and grinned at his crew.  
"Good to se ye back, Cap'n", Marty said with a grin. Jack smiled sweetly and let his eyes wander across the row of smiling faces.  
„Get yerself into the rigging, ye lazy bilge rats!", he yelled at the top of his lungs, making every man flinch and hastily start hustling around. „Lift anchor and full canvas, and be quick about it, ye festering pusboils!"

And then, with a satisfied and hearty grin, he sauntered across deck, wooden leg not withstanding, and walked up the stairs to take the helm.

Imogen emerged from under deck and was wearing her normal, man's clothing again. She spotted Bill standing a bit helpless amidst the yelling, running mass of men and took his arm. „Do as I do", she said and climbed up into the rigging to untie the topsail. Bill swallowed but followed her without hesitation.

Jack watched her with a feeling as if an iron ring that had been welded around his heart was finally bursting, letting him breathe freely again after weeks of pain. Yet his smile widened even more when he saw Elizabeth walking up the stairs to the helm, watching him with unmasked desire in her eyes.  
„You always looked best when you were standing at the helm, Jack", she said softly as she stood beside him. „That hasn't changed at all."  
„Is that so", Jack said with a grin, circling his thumbs around the tips of the spokes he was holding. „Why did ye never say so?" He flashed her an impish, glittering grin.  
„Just because I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing to be an object of my desire, Captain Jack Sparrow", she gave back and Jack threw his head back and laughed.

Smiling herself, Elizabeth stepped closer to him and he slung an arm around her hip, pulling her close while holding the wheel with his other hand. „I'm glad ye chose to come with us", he said, looking straight ahead where Imogen and Bill were sitting astride above the top sail, tying up the knots. „What a family trip. Let the weans have some fun and…" He broke off and looked at her with wide eyes. Elizabeth narrowed her brows. „Did ye remember to pack the picnic basket, luv?", he asked, and Elizabeth blinked, then laughed and slapped his chest. „Jack, you're impossible!"  
„Impossible is not part of my vocabulary, Elizabeth", he said with a smirk and she laughed.

The sails fell and billowed in the wind, and with the sound of flapping canvas and the creaking of wood, the ship leaned into the wind and swiftly gained speed.

x x x x x x x x x

Blessed by the winds, they had a nice, swift and relaxing journey; as they reached the bay of Tortuga however, they were in for a bad awakening.

There were a lot of ships in the harbour, but no familiar one. The Albatross was gone.

Jack swallowed when he saw Imogen stand at the bow, gripping the railing and hunching her shoulders. Yet no matter how desperately he stared around, the Albatross refused to miraculously reappear. He slowly walked down the stairs and across the deck, placing a hand on her shoulder when he reached her.  
„We'll find her, promised. Ye'll have her back."  
She looked up at him with clenched jaws. „The sea's a big place, Jack."  
„Oh, I know that well, luv. Just don't give up hope yet."  
She didn't reply and stared into the murky waters lapping at the hull of the Pearl. Jack pitied her, he knew only too well how she felt now, as well as he knew that no matter what he said, he wouldn't make it any better. So he chose to hold his gob for this time and instead concentrate on finding a way to get her back.

Elizabeth emerged from under deck and Jack mustered her with raised brows. „What?", she asked as she reached him.  
"Elizabeth", he said with a flourish of his hand, „These clothes don't suit ye. It should be…"  
She pressed a forefinger on his lips. „I am not going to walk the streets of Tortuga in a dress of silk, Jack Sparrow. And I am sure that the alternative you had in your mind isn't one you'd like to see me walk around in Tortuga as well, is it?" She removed her finger and he grinned  
„Not in Tortuga, love, no."  
She narrowed her eyes and walked off, making him roll his eyes and drop his arms.

"Do you have any plans?", she asked him when he reached her down on the quay. He scratched his chin and looked around, then his eyes fell on Elizabeth again.  
„What's that empty stare supposed to mean?", he asked in a low, soft voice and Elizabeth snapped her mouth shut. „I was lost in thought", she said and looked away.  
„Lizzie", he said and laid a hand on her cheek, making her look at him again. „I know this is Tortuga, I know you are in men's clothing again and I can very well see that ye look at least ten years younger after ye've been at sea for a few days. But please", he leaned forward and looked into her eyes. „Please don't pretend everything is as it used to be, aye?"  
She stared at him, then suddenly smiled. „Sorry Jack", she said. „I didn't mean to…" She broke off with a chuckle. „You look strapping, that's all. Especially now, when you look like Jack Sparrow again and not like John McGuyre."

Then she swallowed as she looked into his smiling, enticing brown eyes. „Jack, you're walking temptation, you sinful, handsome, pirate."  
He chuckled under his breath. „What, even at my age?"  
„At your age", Elizabeth said, slipping a hand around his neck, „It is just about bearable. Twenty years ago I could have slapped you every time you looked at me like that because it made me feel like throwing myself into your arms. At least."

His face came closer to hers and she could feel the breath on his cheek. „At least?", he murmured, brushing her lips with his.  
„Well, I guess now I can admit that ripping of your clothes was part of it, as well."  
"Ripping of my clothes? How… indecent, my dear."  
„Yours first, then mine."  
„We have to try that sometime."  
She kissed him. „Sometime", she whispered and broke free from his embrace. „But not today, I'm afraid", she added with a bright smile and walked down the quay, leaving him stare at her back with a softly muttered curse on his lips and a tight feeling in his belly and at other spots of his body.

Yet she didn't walk so fast that he wasn't able to catch up, being as he was not completely used to his wooden leg yet. „Do you have any plans?", she asked again when he had caught up with her.  
"No", he said. „But I think I'd best start with asking a few people… the trouble is finding the right one to ask." Then his arm shot out and he grabbed a small boy of about eight years by the scruff. "I'd thank ye to give me my dagger back", Jack said to the struggling, squirming boy with an absolutely unmoving face. „And if ye do, I'll let ye go."  
The boy stopped struggling and reluctantly reached into his shirt. Jack took the knife, slipped it back into the scabbard and looked at the boy. Then his face suddenly lightened up and he grinned. „Say, are ye one of Morgan's brats?"

The boy looked down and didn't speak. „I bet ye are", Jack said. „Is she in town?" The boy held his silence with a grim and determined face. „Listen, little rat." Jack reached into his pocket and produced a silver coin. „Give her that and tell her Sparrow misses an old friend."  
The boy looked up at him with deep mistrust, wiped his running nose on the back of his hand and held out the other. „I'm in the Drunken Rat", Jack said and dropped the coin into the dirty palm. The boy vanished into the crowd without a trace nor sound.

Elizabeth shot him a glance. „And now?"  
„Now?" Jack flashed her a grin. „Now we wait. And I know just the right thing to pass the time."  
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but she did so with a grin. Jack winked at her and she followed him through some back alleys of the harbour quarter towards the Drunken Rat.

They spend two leisurely hours in the taproom of the Rat, passing time with Jack teaching Elizabeth some cheats and tricks for various card games as they shared a bottle of rum.  
Elizabeth was again impressed with the nimbleness of Jack's fingers, what he could do with a simple, unmarked deck of cards seemed almost like magic to her.  
„Now let's see what ye've learned", Jack said and held out the deck in his hand.  
Elizabeth concentrated, and while she knew that with that face as well with that sluggish movement she would never fool anyone, she managed the trick well enough. With a grin, she showed him the card. King of spades.

"Well done, Lizzie. You could use some practice, but ye've got some talent." Then he took the card between his index and middle finger, flipped it around, flipped it back and laid it down on the table again. Elizabeth looked up, Jack grinned, and Elizabeth shook her head in admiration as she looked back at the card again. Queen of hearts„I'm impressed", Elizabeth said, leaning forward. Jack smiled and slowly put down the cards as he leaned forward, as well.

"What else can you do with those nimble fingers of yours?", she asked and he put a finger under her chin.  
„One of these days I'm going to show ye, my Lizziebeth", he said softly under his breath and Elizabeth closed her eyes only to open them again in confusion as she failed to feel his lips on hers. She looked up and saw him stare past her.

She slowly straightened up again and saw Jack grin while pocketing his cards. Then she turned and saw the little pick pocket stand in the door to the taproom.

„I think we have an audience", Jack said softly and put on his hat as he got up. „Better not let her wait." Then he reached for his cane and flashed Elizabeth a grin. „Don't be afraid, Lizzie. Morgan is a lovely person. Couldn't harm a fly."


	21. Chapter 21

Insert standard disclaimer here.

So who's this Red Morgan person asked one of my reviers. Well, it's me. Yep, right, I put meself as my piraty alter ego in my own story... now how smart is that? Oh, and James is me best friend. And Kate, Kate is for you. You see me wink.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 21**

They followed their little guide through the streets of Tortuga through some back alleys and crossed a small marketplace where Jack stopped to buy a bag full or sugared, dried and diced fruit. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow; Jack winked at her, popped one of the pieces into her mouth and patted her cheek before stowing away the bag in his sash.  
The boy had waited somewhat impatiently for them at the corner of two roads, and when he saw them coming, vanished into the smaller one.

The streets became quieter and narrower; the houses seemed to huddle together as if they were beggars trying to share their warmth on a cold winter's night. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked and Elizabeth shuddered slightly as they passed an armless beggar crouching in a doorway, the bowl sitting between his naked, dirty feet.

The boy vanished through a small gate, and when Jack and Elizabeth ducked through it, they found themselves in a spacious yard encircled by walls about seven feet high. Twenty feet across the gate they saw a house, the doorway straight opposite of the gate they had just stepped through, and the courtyard was, as they realised, populated with about a dozen children of various ages who all stared at them in solemn fascination.

Elizabeth was suddenly overcome by a surge of pity for the children, but as she looked closer at them she realised that while they were a little on the grimy side, they were not filthy and all of them wore shoes while none of them looked at her with the desolate, empty stare of hunger and neglect. Someone seemed to care for them and feed them, and whatever their motifs were, these children seemed better off than most orphans in any city Elizabeth cared to name.

A small girl of about five years looked up at Jack. „What happened to your leg?"  
„Oh", Jack said with a dismissive gesture. „I forgot it at home and had to use that one instead. Forget me own head next!" He winked and the girl giggled, then stretched out her hands. Jack cocked an eyebrow, wrinkled his brow, then he shot a glance at Elizabeth's unmoving face and with a shrug, picked up the girl who grinned and plucked Jack's hat off. Still grinning, she planted it on her own little head and proclaimed: „I'm a pirate captain now!", holding on to the hat with both his hands to keep it from sliding down her face to her shoulders.  
„Ah", Jack said while they walked up to the door. „And what be yer name, fearsome pirate Captain?"  
"Kate", the girl said and then shrugged with a pout, realising that the name as such probably lacked a certain bit of finesse.

The boy who had been their guide opened the door for them and Jack stepped through, followed by Elizabeth. The room they entered was dominated by a large wooden table around which a vast collection of benches and chairs seemed to wrestle for the space available around it. The boy vanished and Jack, still holding the girl who was grinning delightedly, looked around.

"Now if it isn't the flame of my girlhood nightmares", they heard a voice coming from a corner and turned around. Out of the shadows stepped a woman who was not quite a galleon, but would certainly qualify for a bark, if not a frigate. Coppery red hair flowed down her shoulders, held back by a bandana to which a small golden trinket was fastened. She slowly crossed her arms in front of her ample chest, the left corner of her mouth clamped firmly around the stem of a smoking pipe.

„Red Morgan", Jack said with a broad grin. „Charming as ever. How many skirts are ye wearing these days, love?"  
„Two", Morgan gave back and squinted at him along the stem of her pipe. Jack winked at her.  
„Only two? Ye make me feel all giddy, ye know."  
„Careful, laddie, I've crushed the skulls of seventeen men between me thighs, ye know", Morgan scoffed at him. „What brings ye here, ye annoying pest?" she asked and wrinkled her forehead as she heard Elizabeth bite back a laugh that nonetheless escaped as a strained snort. „Who's the wench? And what happened to yer beard?"

„Morgan", Jack said with a flourish of his right hand only since the left was still holding the fearsome pirate captain Kate. „Ye might have heard of her, but I introduce her nonetheless. Captain Elizabeth Swann. And my beard fell sacrifice to a ruse on my part, the aim being not being recognised."  
„Well, well, well, I'll be bitten by a drunken whale fish. Welcome to me humble residence, your majesty." She grinned, a brilliant grin of white and completely un-rotten teeth.  
„Thank you", Elizabeth said. „But let us skip the formalities."  
Morgan chortled and indicated towards the table. „Be seated, the two of ye. Jem!"  
The boy who had led them here had been standing silently in a corner and now awoke into action again. „Bring drinks", she ordered. „And be quick about it."

They all sat down at the table while they waited, and after Jem had put a few bottles and a few mismatched glasses on the table he vanished. Morgan poured each glass full and leaned back, then shooed Kate out of the room who, unwilling to let go of Jack's hat yet, ran outside, still holding onto her trophy with both hands.

„So what brings ye here, Jack Sparrow? Missed me so much?"  
"My heart's been aching in misery since our last sweet encounter", Jack said with a smirk. Morgan pursed her lips, cocked an eyebrow and took a deep breath out of her pipe. „What's ailing ye?"  
Jack's grin vanished. „I need to find a ship, Morgan."  
„Lost a ship?" Morgan leaned back and chuckled. „Making a habit of it, aye?"  
Jack was about to snap something back, then swallowed whatever he had meant to say and sighed. „No. I'm looking for the Albatross. Imogen's ship."  
"Imogen?"  
„Captain Imogen Sparrow. My daughter."  
"Oh, _that_ Imogen!"

„Ye know her?" Jack leaned forward and Morgan took her glass.  
„Can't say I've met the lass", she said after a hearty gulp. „But news get around, aye? So it's her who's lost a ship?"  
"So to speak", Jack said and Elizabeth watched him clench jaws and fists as Morgan broke out in a cackle.  
„So it's a family trait, then?", she snorted and took another breath out of her pipe. Then she stared at Jack, stopped grinning and slowly let the smoke escape through her nose. „Don't listen to me Jack, I'm talking right out of my arse again. So what d'ye think it is I can help ye with in that matter?"

„I thought ye might have heard something", Jack said, taking on the offer of peace and flattened his hands out on the table again. „What with you having ears and eyes all over the city."  
„That I have, that I have", Morgan replied thoughtfully.  
„I paid the men a serious amount of money to wait for their captain until she returns", Jack said. „They've taken the money, and now they're gone, which isn't really surprising with them being pirates and all. But I'd like to know where they are. I've promised Imogen her ship back."  
"Why did she leave her in the first place?" Morgan's pipe had gone out and she knocked it on the table a couple of times, swiped the ashes to the ground with one hand, then produced a bag with tobacco and other utensils out of the folds of her vest and began filling it again.

„She was…" Jack faltered and Morgan interrupted what she was doing to give Jack a slow, considering stare. „Got herself into trouble with the lads?"  
Jack took a deep breath. „In a way", he said in what was almost a drawl. „But not like you are probably thinking right now."  
Morgan busied herself with her pipe. „Aye? Is that so." Then she looked up again.  
Jack folded his hands to keep his fingers from trembling. "Do ye know Hector Barbossa?"  
Morgan's eyes narrowed. „Aye, as sorry as I am to say that. Your most hated enemy, I gathered. I also heard he was dead. Sunk, in fact."  
Jack slowly crossed his arms. „And do ye know by whom?"  
„No." The pipe filled to her satisfaction, Morgan stood up, walked over to the fireplace, ignited a chip of wood and brought it to her pipe, making a lot of industrious sucking noises until the pipe finally burned to her satisfaction. She sat back down again and took a deep breath, this time blowing the smoke out in a long, bluish-white cloud that hung over her head.

„'Twas me", Jack said then, and Morgan almost dropped her pipe.  
„Finally", she said after a while and sucked at her pipe. Small clouds of smoke puffed into the air and dispersed into wafting lines. „And what has that got to do with yer girl?"  
Jack took a deep breath and swallowed, and suddenly Morgan's eyes went wide. „He didn't…"  
„He did", Jack said darkly. „He kidnapped her and…"  
"No need to go into detail", Morgan interrupted him and breathed deeply a few times, making clouds of smoke billow around her head like a bad mood. „So the swine's finally history. And yer girl?"  
„Is on the mend", Jack said. „But as I said, I promised her back her ship, and let's say neither of us is very happy with the present situation of the Albatross not being where I promised she would be." He crossed his arms. „Have ye heard anything?"  
Morgan shook her head. „Can't say I have, as sorry as I am to say that. But wait ye a couple of days until me ship comes back, they maybe have some news as to where she might be."  
Jack nodded slowly. He had not dared to put too many hopes into this source of information, but nonetheless he was surprised at how frustratingly disappointed he was. _Damn it all._

„Curaçao", a voice sounded from behind them and all three of them turned around to see a bearded, middle-aged man leaning in the doorframe.

„James, I'll be damned", Morgan said with a huge grin on her face. „How long have ye been standing there, ye sneaky bastard?"  
„Oh, a couple of minutes", he said, tilting his head which made his single, golden earring glitter. He straightened up and left the doorframe to sit down beside Morgan, kissing her quite passionately after he had done so. Elizabeth and Jack exchanged a glance.

„Have ye met James Rackham yet?", Morgan asked. „He's my first mate and steers me ship whenever I stay home for a while to tend to the kids."  
„Can't say I have", Jack replied and gave the man a closer look. With Morgan, for some reason, he would have expected a bulk of a man, seven foot tall and as burly as a wardrobe whereas James was decidedly neither. He wasn't scrawny, but next to the quite ample Morgan he certainly looked it. He noticed Jack looking at him and shot him an amused stare under raised eyebrows.

„James, meet Captain Jack Sparrow", Morgan said and James tipped an imaginary brim of an imaginary head since he was wearing only a bandana.  
„Jack, my first mate and love of my life, directly after my ship and the sea, James Rackham, also known as Iron James."  
Jack tipped the brim of his own hat, or rather, where the brim would have been were his hat not somewhere outside on the head of a rather smallish girl pretending to be a pirate captain. „Charmed", Jack said. „And this, James, is Captain Elizabeth Swann."  
"Noble visitors", James said. „A pirate lord and the queen all in one go." He smiled at Elizabeth who couldn't help but smile back. „Charmed and honoured", James said and folded his forearms on the table.

"So, after the formalities are all done…", Jack said, leaning forward as well. „…what was that about Curaçao?"  
James smiled, reached for Morgan's pipe, took a breath and blew a smoke ring before handing it back. „I heard it in Trinidad. That's where I just come from", he said. „And that's where I met some men who where marooned there, if ye can call it that, being chucked from board of a ship called Albatross that some guy or other had gotten his hands on in Tortuga. Sounds like yours."

„Sounds like", Jack said tonelessly. „Anything else?"  
„Not much." James leaned back. „But the men said the new captain was meant to head for Curaçao."  
„She would be there by now", Jack muttered, trying to think of a way to get there faster than they possibly could.  
„Aye, but then, the captain, who was not very popular with the men he left stranded in Trinidad, go figure, was dutch."  
"So?"  
"Curaçao's dutch", Morgan said, blowing a rather wobbly smoke ring as well.  
„Ye need more practice", James said and Morgan faked a half-hearted slap into his direction.

„I see", said Jack and exchanged another look with Elizabeth again. „He might be bound for Curaçao for a while longer", she said and Jack nodded. „That's something we can hope for", he gave back and looked at Morgan again.  
„So ye found yer information after all, Jack. Glad to have helped."  
„So's me", Jack muttered and slowly got up. „Well, I hate to be impolite, but I fear I feel drawn to set sail and see us on the way to Curaçao. Oh…", he then added, plucking the bag of fruit from his sash. „Almost forgot." He dropped the bag onto the table with a grin. „For your kids."  
„Soul of generosity", Morgan said and stood up with a smile. She and James followed them outside where Morgan called all the kids together with an enormous yell. Happy screaming and laughter broke out when the children discovered what this was about and they bulked around Morgan's ample form to get their hands on as many of the sweet treats as they could.

Elizabeth looked around with slight amusement, seeing this feeling mirrored in Jack's eyes.  
„Morgan", Jack said rather loudly to make himself heard, „Are any of those yours?"  
„Oh, a couple", Morgan said. „Six, to be precise."  
Jack looked around. „Which ones?", he asked, not able to suppress his curiosity.  
"Couldn't say", Morgan said with a laugh, impressing him by managing not to loose her pipe in the process. „Have to wash them first."

The crowd of children slowly dispersed and quieted down, all of them being occupied with chewing the sweet, sticky titbits. Morgan looked at Elizabeth with what was almost a squint, and Elizabeth smiled. „You do genuinely care for them, do you", she said and Morgan relaxed her face and nodded. „Aye, because no one else does." She popped the last piece of fruit into her own mouth and looked around. „It's not much, but being a pick pocket is definitely better than being starved."  
Elizabeth looked around again. „Pick pocket?"  
„Aye", Morgan said simply. „I couldn't afford to feed all those brats on my own, could I? I feed them and teach them, and when they're older, they help out with the wee ones."  
Elizabeth was about to say something, but Morgan took a step closer to her and took the pipe out of her mouth. "See any of them lacking a hand?"

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, but then she shook her head. „Indeed not. Are they that good, then?"  
„They have to be", Morgan said. „It's that or be crippled. I teach them that early enough."

Looking around again, Elizabeth had to admit that these children looked better than any of the ones she had ever seen in any orphanage she had seen in her life. For one thing, they were happy. They were laughing. Watching them, Elizabeth was sure that while Morgan would well slap their hands or backsides most painfully now and then, they had never been beaten into shape like she knew was best practise in other institutions.

Morgan seemed to read her thoughts. „I know well it's a dangerous life, being a thief. But ask yerself, and ye can ask some of the older ones that still live in Tortuga, as well. What is better? Being a thief, or being a whore? And that goes for boys and girls, mind. It's not much of a life, but it's a life. The alternative would be an orphanage where they beat all sense and spirits out of the kids and leave them broken, or an abbey where they stunt them and castrate them in every aspect but in body."

Elizabeth looked at Morgan again and wondered if her harsh words were, in fact, based on her own bitter experiences. Her faraway look under knitted brows seemed to suggest it. „So I give them something. Not much. But something. And ask yerself:" She looked back at Elizabeth again. „Don't ye think a short life that's dangerous but happy is not better than a long life that isn't a life at all?"  
Elizabeth swallowed. "I do", she said, staring at her hands.  
Morgan narrowed her eyes, then lifted up her pipe and clamped the right corner of her mouth around the stem. „Aye, I see ye do", she said with a gentleness that surprised Elizabeth and she looked up at the red-haired pirate again. „I see ye do. There's more than one form of non-existence in a life." With that, she left Elizabeth stand in the yard and walked inside again without so much as a last glance over her shoulder. She nodded at Jack as she passed him and he nodded back.

Elizabeth took another deep breath to shake off that eerie feeling that this strange woman had invoked in her and looked around again to see Jack search the mass of children for his hat. He furrowed his brow, then his face suddenly lightened up. „Captain Kate Capsize", he yelled. „A word with ye, if ye please!"It took less than ten seconds before the little girl stood before him, holding on to Jack's hat with one hand while extending a stick before her with the other, a huge grin on her face.  
„Whoa!", Jack said. „"Lower yer weapon, Captain."  
Elizabeth suppressed a chuckle and exchanged a glance with James who just grinned, crossing his arms.  
"I am Captain Kate Capsize", the girl intoned, waving the stick. „Cower in fear!"  
„Eh… parley?", Jack said and the girl squinted up at him, lowering the stick. „I'd like to have me hat back", Jack said and plucked it out of the girls hand who stared mournfully up at him with a pout, red curls askew all over her head.

Jack put on his hat and looked at James. „She one of yours?"  
James nodded with a grin. „Takes after her mum, I guess", he said as the girl ran away, screaming like a banshee, to chase a much older boy who had pulled her hair.

James accompanied them to the outer gate where he leaned in the doorframe again. „The men stranded in Trinidad, they wanted to get back to Tortuga", he said. „We took them with us, so ye might find them somewhere in one of the sinkholes along the quay, getting drunk."  
"Well, I guess I should thank ye as well, for the information and your timely appearance, James", Jack said.  
James grinned. „No need, but thank ye."  
Jack was about to turn when he stopped, pursed his lips and then, with a shrug, removed a small bag from his belt. It made the heavy clinking sound of a lot of coins. „Here", he said, handing the bag to James. „For the wee ones. And buy Kate a hat."

James slowly lifted his brows with a slightly amused stare, but stowed away the bag. „Thank thee kindly", he said. „This'll come in handy. We don't make too bad a living from piracy and the little things the kids acquire for us, but a bit of extra cash is always welcome. Ye never know when one of the little devils takes it into their head to fall sick."  
„Well", Jack said and nodded. „Good luck to you then, Master Rackham."  
„And the same to you, Captain Sparrow", James said, again tipping the brim of a hat that didn't exist.

„Oh…" James turned around again, a question burning on his tongue. „I might be intruding but…" He grinned and indicated towards the doorframe where Morgan had vanished.  
"I always imagined Red Morgan to favour more… bulky men. What does she find in you, mate?"  
James pushed himself away from the doorframe and gave Jack a slight, innocent smile, giving him the impression of a cat having eaten the canary with one feather still sticking to the corner of his mouth. „Well", he said, „they don't call me Iron James for nothing."

Then he winked, walked away and disappeared inside, leaving Jack and Elizabeth stare at his back with their mouth slightly agape, both of them trying to get rid of mental images they would never have conjured up willingly.


	22. Chapter 22

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 22**

Gathering the remnants of the Albatross' crew up in various sinkholes proved to be unnecessary as Jack and Elizabeth reached the harbour again. As it seemed, the men had noticed the Black Pearl docked in Tortuga the moment they had left Morgan's ship and were now standing at the pier, Imogen standing among them, all of them engaged in a heated discussion.

Imogen noticed them and waved, and Jack was relieved to see some of her spirit returned to her eyes. As of yet, he was still hoping his worst fear would turn out to be unfounded.  
„Jack", she said. „I need a lift to…  
„Curaçao", Jack said and smirked when Imogen dropped her arms with a cocked eyebrow.  
"I see I could have saved me that endeavour", Jack added with a smile and Imogen shrugged with a slight grin. „I thank ye for trying, though."

„Have ye found out what happened?", Jack asked her and Imogen nodded, crossing her arms. „The bastard saw the ship lying aimless in the harbour and asked who the captain was. The crew told them they were here on land leave and their captain would return in a few days. He took the chance and came aboard nonetheless, accompanied by six armed men. He shot four of my men dead and bullied the rest into obedience."

„As easy as that", Jack muttered and Imogen snorted. „Most men don't care too much who is bellowing orders at them from the helm, Jack."  
"No need to tell me, luv. That's why I paid them to stay and sit tight."  
She stared blankly at him with widening eyes. „You… ye paid them?"  
Jack shrugged with a slightly embarrassed grin. „Aye, to avoid precisely what has happened now anyway."  
Imogen lowered her eyes. „I don't know what to say, Jack…"  
"Then just hold yer gob", Jack said and patted her shoulder as he passed her on his way to the group of men.

Imogen let her shoulders drop and exchanged a sideways glance with Elizabeth. „He does that all the bloody time", she muttered. „I'm never going to stop feeling ten years old."  
Elizabeth chuckled. „Believe me, it's not only you he can do this to."

Imogen shook her head with a sigh and followed Jack who just had asked a few questions of his own. „It's going to be a mite cramped on board with yer men as well as mine", he observed. „And Curaçao's not precisely around the corner, as well."  
„So what do ye suggest?"  
„That we leave the lads here while we go a-ship huntin' and ye come back with yer beloved and pick them up."  
Imogen cocked an eyebrow.  
„Piece of cake, luv", Jack said with a grin.

Imogen crossed her arms. „Last time ye said that was shortly before ye run the Pearl aground in White Shark's Bay, Jack."  
„That was five years ago and it was an accident", Jack replied tartly with as much dignity as he could muster.  
„What was? Running her aground or having ruined the map beforehand with a spilt bottle of rum what blotched out the reefs?"  
Jack leaned forward and glared into her eyes. „Do ye want that lift to Curaçao or no?", he said with a slight edge in his voice and Imogen crossed her arms but remained silent. „I thought so. See ye on board, luv."

Elizabeth had watched this nasty little exchange with a slightly worried expression. They were not smiling, as they always did when exchanging little niceties like that. Something seemed wrong here, but she was sure it was not completely Jack's fault. He was the captain of this ship and he hated to be questioned before his men, with good reason. Yet why Imogen had breached this line of manners was a mystery to her, and Elizabeth made a mental note to herself to watch Jack's daughter a little closer. There were a lot of reasons to be worried and a lot of things that could well explain her edginess, but today, Elizabeth had the feeling there was something else.

Exchanging a glance with Bill, she realised that he, too, had seen what she had seen and was as worried as she felt. But she also saw that he as well had no explanation for Imogen's behaviour.

Elizabeth had planned on leaving the Pearl in Tortuga and going back to Port Royal, but now she decided that she'd rather stay on board, even if that meant she was away from home rather longer then initially anticipated. But somehow, she had the feeling her presence could be needed on the trip, and if only to keep the two Sparrows from each others throat.

With a sigh, she had to admit that she was trapped. She felt she was needed, so she would stay, but being as she wasn't used to travelling on a ship any more, she was exhausted even after that comparatively short trip to Tortuga. Yet she also felt, and there was no denying, that the longer she stayed on the ship, even with her growing exhaustion, the harder it would become for her to leave it again.

She had grown too soft for this life, even with the comfort of the cabin she inhabited. But she knew as well that once they would hit Port Royal again, the sound of waves and the creaking rigging, the rocking motion and the smell of tar, wood and salt would haunt her into her dreams and not let her have a moment of peace again. But as she walked up the plank she realised that now she had a ship again. She had Jack. And whenever fancy would take her, he would gladly take her with her. He had said he wouldn't leave the sea behind and she knew he would never leave her behind did she want it otherwise. It was a comforting thought.

She watched Jack take the helm, and in that moment the weariness that still seemed to last on him fell off his shoulders like a cloak, making him stand tall and proud as he let his eyes wander across the deck. An ageing pirate and his ageing lady, Elizabeth thought. But as soon as they would let the sea have them back, if only for a while, all the time that had passed seemed of no consequence any more. Then Jack spotted her watching him and winked with a gold-glittering grin, suddenly taking her breath away.

Elizabeth smiled as his eyes met hers. They had found their own fountain of youth, well enough.

x x x x x x x x

Jack and Imogen kept out of each other's way as best as they could, but the atmosphere this created was unbearable for those close to them, that is, Bill and Elizabeth as it were. Bill escaped by the simple means of hanging around with the crew and learning what they could teach him; Elizabeth, on the other side, spent her time watching the two, trying to figure out exactly where the problem was.

She had seen the two shout insults at each other at the top of their lungs and grin at each other seconds later, yet right now with everything that one of them said, the other seemed to hear an insult in it. The humour was far gone by now, they acted like two cats on each other's territory, tails bristling with fury each time they met.

Watching Imogen stand at the bow one night, she decided and try her luck first with her and walked over. She had a theory but hoped it would be proven wrong.  
„Can I do something for you?", she asked, since it was bloody obvious that nothing was all right. Imogen shrugged. „No, I guess not."  
Elizabeth watched her silently for a while, and suddenly Imogen slapped her hands down on the railing before her with an angry sigh. "Christ, he treats me as if I'm still a child! He doesn't even allow me to check his charts!"  
Elizabeth took a hesitating step forward on thin ice, hoping she would not break in. „He is the captain of this ship and you know what this means", she said carefully. Imogen shot her a venomous glance. „On whose side are you?"  
„On yours. Like Jack is. What do you think I am? His spy?"

Imogen swallowed her next remark that would doubtlessly have been worse than the one before and snorted.  
„Imogen", Elizabeth began again. „He is the captain and he can not be questioned. I know you are eager and impatient about the journey, but you also know that the captain is the captain. Don't you."  
„Aye, I do", she said sounding rather unwilling to admit it. „But he treats me like a child…"  
"That he doesn't let you navigate or steer? No, I dare to disagree."  
Imogen shot her a glance under narrowed brows.  
"He would treat you like a child if he would let you steer", Elizabeth said. „Yet drawing the line between him as Captain and him as father is what treats you like an adult, because a child would not know these borders between duty and affection."  
Imogen looked straight ahead with an unmoving face and remained silent.  
„He judges you capable of knowing what is yours to take and what not", Elizabeth added and Imogen grunted in anger, yet shoved past her and walked away, across the deck and down the stairs leading below. Elizabeth silently followed her, guessing she would head for the captain's cabin.

She was proven right when she cautiously stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Imogen had left the door ajar and she could understand well enough what was said.

And it made her livid.

„Jack?"  
„What is it?" He sounded fairly annoyed. „It's quite late, ye know."  
"I just came to say…" Imogen broke off. „Sorry about being so… itchy."  
„Bout time", Jack snapped. „And I thank ye not to forget who is the captain of this ship and who isn't. I know ye are captain in yer own right, but not here. And I've got quite enough on me hands without me crew laughing about me behind me back."  
Imogen's grim silence was an answer in itself.

Elizabeth shook her head_. My god Jack, how can you be so cruel? I can't believe you're actually saying that to her. You of all people must know perfectly well how she feels._

„Jack, I…"  
"Apology accepted", Jack said coldly. „And now, if ye please, I've got a course to set and ye might remember that these waters are not precisely easy going. Don't want me to spill anything on them, do ye? Off ye go."

The way Imogen slowly walked out of Jack's cabin made Elizabeth curl her hands into fists. She stepped aside, but Imogen rushed past her so fast that she was sure she hadn't even seen her. Thrusting out her chin, Elizabeth stepped into Jack's cabin and shut the door behind her.  
"What d'ye want, ye annoying pest?", Jack snapped without looking up. „I told ye I've got other…"  
„Jack Sparrow."  
He blinked and dropped his quill, then slowly looked up. His face, knotted into displeasure and anger, suddenly lightened up. Almost.

„Lizzie", he said and got up with a grin. „What can I…"  
"You can come to your senses", Elizabeth snapped. „I know that you've not got very long nerves, but you of all people should know perfectly well how she feels like and…"  
"And treat her a bit more gentle?" Jack crossed his arms. „She's a grown woman. She knows the captain's duties as well as the captain's rights."  
„She does", Elizabeth replied, taking a step towards him. He thrust his chin out in a gesture of defiance. „Jack", she said, aiming for bit more soothing a tone in her voice. „You've had your quibbles all over the place before. What is suddenly the problem with you?"

„Me?" Jack dropped his arms. „Me?" He started pacing back and forth. „Why is it always me that…"  
"I didn't say that", Elizabeth said, trying to remain calm. „But I see that you seem to be more sensitive than you have been."  
„Sensitive." He stopped pacing and crossed his arms again. Elizabeth remained silent and just looked at him, searching his eyes which kept darting away from hers. „Jack, look at me", she said softly. A corner of his mouth twitched and he slightly pursed his lips, but then he looked at her.

„What is it really?", Elizabeth asked and Jack sighed and let himself fall down on the bed. He was silent for a long while, and Elizabeth didn't move at all as she watched him.  
„A lot of things", he said finally without looking up.  
Elizabeth kept her voice gentle. „Namely?"  
Jack shrugged.  
„Can't you tell me?", she asked and he shook his head. With a sigh, Elizabeth walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. This close she could see the throbbing of his jugular vein and the tightness of his jaws. She gently laid a hand on his shoulder and he closed his eyes.

"I care too bloody much", he finally whispered. „And I'm afraid of what it has done to her. And will do, yet."  
"I don't quite understand", Elizabeth gave back and he smiled ruefully without looking at her.  
„Ye wouldn't, would ye. See, I care too much for her. Seeing her in any sort of discomfort makes me…" he broke off, unable to find a word to describe it. With a shrug, he went on. „As if all that happened wasn't enough, now this as well."  
„The ship"?  
„Aye, that too."  
„Jack Sparrow, what are you talking about?" Yet suddenly, she knew bloody perfectly well.

He looked up at her with working jaws and a deep furrow in his brow. „I know her well, ye know. And even had I wanted to, I couldn't ignore the last couple of years she lived with me, on the verge of womanhood, how her moods changed as regularly as the phases of the moon."  
"I get your meaning, but…"  
"It hasn't happened", Jack said, his voice hollow with pain. „And I bet she doesn't know if it's Bill's or… Barbossa's", he ended lamely.  
Hearing her worst fear being spoken aloud felt like a fist in her stomach. She had hoped and prayed she would be proven wrong… to no avail. She could only swallow and shake her head.

„Aye, and now I'm on the edge because I'm blaming me sorry self for not being able to protect her and being too late to rescue her and not being able to save her ship while all the bloody time it shouldn't be my bloody problem because she's bloody old enough to deal with that her bloody self!" His last sentence had ended in what was almost a shout and he sighed, burying his face in his hands. „I can't do anything", he whispered. „She's still my little girl, and I can't do a bloody thing to help her or even ease her pain. That's up to someone else now and I can't handle it. God, I thought I could, but I can't…"

„You can", Elizabeth gave back, draping her arm across his shoulder and pulling him close. He leaned into her embrace with a heaviness that bespoke of a long time of lonely suffering.  
„Why am I so weak", he mumbled into her shoulder. „Why am I so bloody weak?"  
„Because you had a hard time of it as well?"  
He slowly lifted his head and looked at her.  
„What with almost loosing her, seeing her suffer so much, and not to mention of loosing a limb yourself? For each man there's only so much he can take, Jack. Allow yourself your own portion of human weakness."

He stared at her and slowly closed his eyes, then he leaned forward, brushed a gentle kiss on her lips and stood up. She watched him leave without a word and without his cane, and the way he limped suggested he was still in a lot of pain which in itself made matters no easier for any of them. Elizabeth didn't follow him. She knew he would be going on deck to find Imogen and this time, it wasn't her place to intrude.

x x x x x x x x

Jack found her standing at the bow, staring straight ahead, and the way her shoulders hunched when he came nearer told him that she would rather be alone.  
„Imogen", he said softly when he reached her. „I'm sorry I lost me temper."  
"I'm sorry to be such a pain in the arse", she replied without turning.  
„Imogen", Jack said. „Look at me, love."  
She turned around slowly and avoided his eyes. With a sigh, Jack laid both his hands on her shoulders. „Listen to me", he said, and she finally looked up.

„We'll find ye someone as soon as we are in Curaçao. It's a rich city, and with the right amount of coins we'll find someone who's not likely to kill ye in the process."  
She started to tremble. „Jack… ye know? How…?"  
He shook his head with a sad smile. „By knowing you so well, darling. And it eats me alive, seeing ye like this. That's why I snapped at ye. The pain of me rotten old body I can deal with, but the pain in me soul at seeing ye… I can't."

Then he pulled her close and she leaned into his embrace with a heavy sigh of relief.  
„Does Billy know?", Jack asked gently and felt her shake her head. „Then tell him now."  
„He's below deck with the rest of the crew. He insisted."  
"Honours him. I'll get him."  
"It's in the bloody middle of the night!"  
Jack lifted his eyebrows. „Think about yer own peace of mind, lass. Ye could use a bit more of it than any of us do."

She didn't contradict him any more and shrugged, so Jack turned and walked across the deck with heavy steps. Only then Imogen realised how heavy his steps actually were when he was not using his cane. He must be in a hell of pain, she thought as she watched him disappear below with an uneasy feeling, yet she couldn't quite decide if that was because of Bill or him.

x x x x x x x x

Bill awoke as someone shook him by the shoulders and it took him a while to get his brain into gear. It was still dark so why…Then Jack' face came into view, hovering above him. Bill blinked again and straightened up very carefully, not being used to the hanging cots yet. „Jack?", he whispered, but instead of an answer, Jack just jerked his head to make Bill follow him.

As they reached the deck Bill looked around, but there was nothing and no one to be seen. He gave Jack a questioning look and the captain indicated with his chin towards the bow. And then he saw Imogen standing there.  
"How strong are ye, Billy, I wonder", Jack said. „Strong enough for her?"  
„I can do whatever I must", Bill gave back and left him to walk up to Imogen. She turned around as she heard his steps and he didn't need his guts nor any feeling of premonition to know that he wouldn't be hearing good news that night.


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks so far for all those who stayed with me. Sorry for the gap, but I was on a meeting this week and couldn't update. Setting full canvas now to go ahead.

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**Chapter 23**

They reached the harbour of Curaçao with the midnight tide.

After paying a horrendous fee for being allowed to dock as an english ship in a dutch harbour, Jack, Elizabeth and Imogen left the Pearl in search for a respectable inn to host a wealthy merchant with his passenger and her daughter. Bill had pointed out he wasn't going to help, in any case, so he stayed with the crew on board the Black Pearl although his face bespoke clearly of the fact he would rather stay at Imogen's side.

The inn Jack found suitable had exactly two rooms left available, and as Jack paid he figured that if they continued this style for much longer, he would run out of resources. When he had come to Port Royal to pick Imogen up, he hadn't thought he'd be underway for so long and thus had not taken necessary precautions.  
Lucky enough, the story about a merchant with a run of bad luck was one easily believed. Bought a load of rum and spices and ran into a pirate was no uncommon tale.

„And if I ever find that…" he shot a glance at the two ladies sitting at his table. He just about told another merchant who was staying in their inn the tale. „…find that… villain, he is going to pay me back", he finished. „Although I must say I am incredibly relieved that the ladies who have trusted themselves to my ship for a safe passage to Curaçao have not come to harm."  
The Dutchman nodded. „Yes", he said. „And lucky you are you ended up still with a ship under you", he added. „Piracy in these waters got worse the last years. They can not build enough gallows for the bastards." Then he shot a glance at Elizabeth and Imogen. „Pardon my language, ladies."  
Jack leaned back and shot a long glance towards the ceiling. „Say, the captain of the ship that robbed us was dutch as well. You wouldn't, by any chance, have heard of a man called van der Vegt?"

The eyebrows of the dutch merchant slowly wandered up until it looked like you could have seen them even standing behind him. „Martin van der Vegt?"  
„I wouldn't know his first name, I just heard him being addressed. A rather small, nondescript man with blonde hair and beard." That was what the Albatross' marooned crew had told him.  
"Sounds like him", the Dutchman replied. „He was a character ever since I have known him, sure enough. So he is a pirate, then. I could have guessed."  
„When was the last time you saw him?"

„Hm." The man leaned back and mumbled something in dutch Jack couldn't understand. „Would be three weeks ago, no less. Said he would go to New Amsterdam for tobacco and be back here. Will be interesting to watch his welcome. With good winds, five weeks, maybe four." He stood up and tipped the brim of his velvet cap, then bowed to Elizabeth and Imogen. „Good night to the ladies", he said, then nodded to Jack. „Good night to you, Mr McGuyre."  
„And a pleasant night to you, Mr. Meersen", Jack replied and leaned back in his chair.

„Five weeks?", mumbled Imogen as he had disappeared up the stairs.  
Jack shrugged. "If he comes. But if he does, we'll make sure he never leaves again."  
„Jack, you can't go and accuse him of piracy, what with…"  
Jack slowly lifted his left hand where the frills of his lace hid his wrist. „That? How stupid d'ye think I am?" Then he smiled. „Nothing of the sort. If we get that ship back without help from the honourable dutch authorities who would confiscate the load due to it being pirate loot, the better, aye?" He smirked. „Think of the price ye'd get for a whole load of tobacco in Tortuga."

Imogen narrowed her brows and managed a tiny smile. „Nice twist", she said. „And in the meantime?"  
„In the meantime", Jack gave back with a sad smile, „I think it'd be a good idea for ye to fall sick, luv."  
Folding her hands in her lap, Imogen swallowed and stared at the table before her. „Aye, I get yer point."  
Elizabeth laid a hand on her shoulder and Imogen looked uo with a brave attempt at a smile.

"And Elizabeth, I think it'd be wise for ye to open up yer ears", Jack said in a low voice. „No man will ever learn who does these things in any city ye try."  
Elizabeth nodded. „I'll see what the market has to offer tomorrow. Maybe I can buy a length of belgian lace."  
Jack lifted his brows. „As long as ye don't buy a whole trunk of the stuff…"  
„Jack, I could hardly go to the market with my little basket hung over my arm and buy ten bottles of Captain Gutburner's black rum?"

Imogen giggled and Jack shot her a glance. „If there ever was such a thing, I'd ask ye to buy it. Could need a few bottles of something of that like right now."

x x x x x x x x

With a knotted stomach and a heavy heart, Elizabeth left the inn the next morning, heading for the market. Imogen had stayed in bed, fussd about by a maid who worked in the inn, pretending some random illness or another that befell a lady of breeding ever so often.

Elizabeth bought indeed some length of Brussels's lace as well as a set of finely carved ivory buttons, and only then did she head for the lower corner of the market closer to the pier where the spice and herb merchants had their own set of stalls. Browsing their wares, she tried to think of how and where to get in touch with a person having the information she needed.

Asking for medicinal herbs got her sent her across the marketplace again to some stalls at the far end behind which two elder women were crouching on a piece of canvas in a corner, all sorts of dried herbs spread out before them. Some small bottles filled with liquids sat on a piece of board.

„Good morning, milady", one of them croaked as Elizabeth went down into a crouch to look at a bundle of dried sage. „Come here all the way from Europe", the hag continued. „Drives away the evil spirits if you burn it over a candle flame."  
"What kind of spirits?", Elizabeth asked and the woman narrowed her brows. „Those that haunt you in the night in dreams", she said with wide eyes.  
"What about the haunts…", Elizabeth began in a low voice, „…that come to you no matter what time of day?"  
The other woman, older than the first and completely toothless, gave her a long, considering stare. „There's more than one things haunts ye day or night", she mumbled. „All sorts of things come in spirit."  
Elizabeth slowly picked up the bundle of sage and went on without looking at her. „And so… what about those that come… in the flesh?" She cast a quick glance at the woman and looked back at the sage.

A long silence answered Elizabeth and she dared not to look up. Finally, the younger one, who was not completely white haired and still had some teeth, leaned forward and spoke in what was almost a whisper. „Say, I wouldn't guess that what haunts you can be cured with a love potion, ain't?"  
„No", she gave back. „And it isn't me that is in need of a cure of… what will haunt her for the rest of her live. In the flesh."  
„I see, I see", the older one spoke. „Yer daughter?"  
„Yes." Elizabeth laid the sage back down and looked up again.  
"There be a cure for every illness, sayeth the lord", the old one muttered. „But not always right at hand."

„How much and how long?", Elizabeth gave back.  
"Three days from tomorrow", the younger one said. „Things take time."  
Elizabeth looked at her hands. „How dangerous is it?"  
"Depends on how far she is gone", the younger gave back thoughtfully. „The earlier, the better. And the younger she is, the better she'll do."  
„Can it kill her?"  
The older woman leaned forward. „Yes", she said simply. „It can kill her, or it can not work. Know that before ye decide to give it to her."

"I don't think there is much of a choice", Elizabeth said in a low voice. „She has not got herself into trouble, she was raped."  
"So she says…", the younger hag said, but with no menace in her voice. Elizabeth looked up.  
„So I know", she replied. „Her father has killed the villain having caught him in the act."  
Both women pursed their lips and exchanged a long glance. „In that case, ye're right", the older one said. „Not much choice lest let her be haunted, just like ye said."  
„Is there anything I can do to reduce the risk for her life?"  
Both women shook their head. „No", the elder one said. „There is a woman in town does it without herbs, but it's a bloody butchery and seldom leaves the girl unscathed. Those who can't spare pennies and fear the light of day go there. Come to us when it's too late, like. Should come here as soon as they know."

Elizabeth nodded slowly. „How much?"  
„Hard to come by", the younger said, weighing her head thoughtfully.  
"How much", Elizabeth repeated, her tone suggesting that it would not matter. Which was true, of course.  
"Twelve pieces of silver", the younger said. „And two bottles of sweet red wine. It's what is needed, among other things, to brew what you want to buy. Restock, you see."  
Elizabeth nodded. „I'll be here again three days from tomorrow."  
„We will see ye then, milady", the older one said, pursing her lips.

To be on the safe side, Elizabeth bought a couple of herbs as not having spent so long a time there without buying anything. Some mixture of herbs supposed to calm the nerves if drunk as tea and a bottle of ointment for rubbing into the skin to soothe aching muscles went into the basket on top of the lace and she thanked the women for their time and advice before getting up again. She left the market with a dry mouth, but no one stopped her, accusing her of witchcraft.

Jack was still gone when she came back to the inn, and she went upstairs to check on Imogen and tell her that she had found what she had been looking for. Imogen took the news with an unmoving face. „I'm just glad it'll be over soon", she whispered after a while.

Elizabeth could say nothing nor offer any comfort. The only child she had ever carried was a child of love, and she still loved it deeply. She could not even guess how Imogen felt, so everything she said would most likely be wrong.

x x x x x x x x

Elizabeth was sitting in a corner, hidden behind a wooden partition, when Jack came back into the taproom of the inn later that night. He found her after a while and sat down beside her, had the serving maid bring some rum and food and stretched out his leg, allowing himself a painful grimace for a couple of seconds.  
"Jack, are you all right?"  
"No", he gave back. „But there's nothing anyone can do about it."  
Deciding that he would not like it much to be pitied right now, Elizabeth changed the subject. „What have you been doing the whole day?"

Jack leaned back when the maid brought a bottle of rum and a glass. „Gathering information", he said as he poured himself a glass. „About our friend van der Vegt." He took a swig and closed his eyes for a second.  
„And?"  
„Nothing much. He is known as a dodgy character, and it surprised no one that he has… well, turned to piracy. According to me." He flashed her an evil little grin for a second before taking another swig of his rum.  
„And what are your plans now?"  
„My plans…", he said, leaning back into his chair, „…involve leaving ye alone here with Imogen for a while, if it sits well with ye."  
"And why is that so?"  
The maid came back and put down a large platter, filled with bread, pieces of various cheeses and a few slices of cooked meat. Jack took a slice of bread and broke off a piece. „You will excuse me", he muttered. „I'm starving."

Elizabeth nodded and watched him eat a slice of bread with cheese, realising only as he did so that he was perfectly capable of perfectly gentlemanly eating habits. He washed the last bit down with a bit of rum and cocked an eyebrow. „Something wrong?"  
"No", she replied with a smile. „Only your manners. Seems strange, seeing you so well behaved."  
He snorted and chuckled. „If I have to, Lizzie. Only if I have to. No use in drawing any more attention on me right now."  
„Can I come back to you leaving us here", Elizabeth said then with a smile. Jack stopped grinning and reached for another slice of bread, flapped a slice of meat on it and took a hearty bite. „I think it a wise idea…", he said after swallowing, „… if I take a trip to Barbados while we wait for our dutch friend."  
"Barbados?" Elizabeth felt the urge to reach for his glass and take a swig of rum but restrained herself, if he could manage himself without drawing attention, she had to, as well.

„I have some… let's say, a house and business in Barbados", he said, avoiding her eyes.  
"Jack Sparrow", Elizabeth said, keeping her voice low but no less threatening. „I know that look. Spit it out."  
Jack flashed her an unhappy grin. „I have acquired a little residence in aforementioned city", he said, taking another bite of his bread. „And I intend…", he swallowed to speak more clearly, „… to get rid of it."  
„Rid of it?"  
„Aye. Ye do remember our little conversation shortly before we left Port Royal, don't ye?"

Elizabeth blinked, but was suddenly captured in his eyes that were no longer joking nor hiding anything. She felt a slow smile spread out on her lips and saw it mirrored in his eyes.  
„I see ye do. And since I can't imagine ye moving to Barbados, I thought I'd give up my business there."  
„What kind of business is it, exactly?", Elizabeth asked.  
Jack looked down and busied himself with a slab of softer cheese. Albeit, all the crumbliness and squishiness of any piece of cheese would be no excuse for the industriousness with which he suddenly concentrated on his food.  
„Jack?"  
„Lizzie…?"  
„Don't you dare think of a convenient lie, Jack Sparrow. You've not become a slave trader, have you?"  
He gave her a hurt look. „That you'd think that of me is almost insulting, Lizzie", he said with knitted brows, then shrugged before Elizabeth could apologize. „No, not slaves, although… I deal in flesh… well enough."  
Elizabeth blinked and Jack sighed angrily. „It's a brothel", he snapped. „A brothel. I own a whorehouse. There. Happy?"

Elizabeth didn't know what to say. No, she was certainly not happy. But it was certainly not as bad as she had initially feared. She tried to think of something to reconcile since he was staring unhappily at his bread, but failed utterly.

„Pirating is exciting and satisfying and all that, but ye need a reliable source of income if ye've got a certain lifestyle", he said, and it sounded like an apology.  
„Certain kind of lifestyle?"  
He didn't look up. „Aye. Like drinking, wenches and keeping yer crew happy and loyal."  
„Like a proper pirate?"  
„Aye, like…" He broke off to cast her an unsure glance. „Are ye mocking me?"  
"No", Elizabeth said and meant it. „You are a pirate. Can I blame you?"  
„Ye almost seemed, there, for a while."  
"Almost", she assured him. „I can't say I'm happy, but you have said you'd give it up."  
„Aye."  
„Something wrong with that?"  
He shrugged. „The… mistress of that… establishment is… very… ehm…"  
„Fond of you?"  
He stared at her, forgetting the slice of bread in his hand. „How the heck do ye always know what I'm thinking, luv?"  
She chuckled. „It's what people call womanly instincts."  
"I see why so few men of my passion ever married", he mumbled and remembered his bread again, taking a hearty bite.

Elizabeth watched him, realising that now she knew, it didn't bother her half as much than she had thought. And she knew, by knowing him, that he would find a way around an upset landlady whom he considered one of his lady friends although she might consider herself more. A strange thought hit her mind and made her smile.

_No matter who she is, he's mine now._

Jack looked up, saw her look at him and cocked an eyebrow, then allowed himself a tiny smile.

No, she wasn't happy that Jack had become a pimp and brothel owner. But then, he was a pirate. And now, the moment that he started talking about giving up the piracy business, he meant to give up that business as well. So why should she bother?

Elizabeth slowly got up, she felt tired and wanted to have the quietness of her room around her rather than the busy taproom.

„I planned on leaving with the morning tide", he said in a low voice as he watched her get up. It meant they would not see each other again, of course, since she was a lady and he a captain but otherwise they were hardly acquainted. Officially. „I'll be back as soon as I can."  
"I bid you a safe journey, Captain McGuyre", she said and left.

He returned his attention back to his plate again and only then realised that she had softly touched his hand in passing when she had left him. A slow smile spread on his lips. So it seemed like she wasn't bearing any grudge against him for him being a brothel owner and he was surprised at how relieved he felt about that.

Jack felt a little a ting of sadness and worry with Elizabeth gone, but he would leave a couple of his most trustworthy men here with her to make sure he did not leave his ladies unprotected. In other circumstances he would be perfectly at ease and rely on their ability to handle themselves, but not when they were supposed to be a travelling widow and her ill daughter. Taking another bite of his bread, he felt that the sooner he got back from Barbados, the better.


	24. Chapter 24

Insert standart disclaime here.

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**Chapter 24**

Jack lay wide awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of the sleeping city outside, his own sleep eluding him although he felt tired to the bones. Being kept awake by his own, unpleasant thoughts, he realised that he hadn't lied when he had told Elizabeth he was getting on in years. Things he would have managed with the flick of a hand a few years ago were suddenly becoming strenuous, things he had never bothered with suddenly were not ignorable any more and things that had never worried him were suddenly frightening.

And on top of it all, there was the bloody leg. Or rather, not was. It would have bothered him less had it been the actual scar, the old wound that was causing him pain, but as it was, it was the pain in the limb that was no longer there that was making things harder to bear. No matter how much he drank, the leg was where he could not reach it with any means or narcotic, and there it stayed. Hurting like hell.

He tossed around, but there was no other comfortable position right now than lying on his back, so he turned again and crossed his arms on his chest. He should have taken some rum with him to his room…

Jack stiffened when he heard the soft noise coming from the door. Someone was entering his room, and he lay very still, straining his ears, and reached for the pistol he kept on his nightstand. Years of being Jack Sparrow had taught him never to leave anything to chance if he could avoid it. Soft footfalls crossed the room, so soft, in fact, that the bearer could not be wearing any kind of shoes. Then the moonlight filtering through the window illuminated a female figure.

„Eliazbeth?"  
„Jack", she whispered. „Sorry to wake you up."  
He put the pistol down again. „Ye haven't woken me up. Couldn't sleep."  
Elizabeth sat down on the bed beside him. „Is it your leg?", she asked, taking his hand.  
"It is, but it has just got considerably better, what with you sitting in me bed, luv", he said with a smile. He brought her finger to his lips and kissed them. „Feeling lonely?"  
„Jack", she said with a smile in her voice. Her face was still cast in shadows and hardly more than a ghostly outline. „That's not why I came."

„Then why, luv?" He nibbled her fingertip and she pulled her hand away. Jack looked up with a slightly accusing stare of disappointment.  
„I thought you'd like to say good bye to Imogen", she whispered. „Since you will not see her again before you return from Barbados."  
"But it will hardly be more than three weeks", Jack muttered, suddenly all occupied with the woman sitting on his bed, her hip pressed against his. He rested his hand on her thigh.  
„Jack", Elizabeth said, taking his hand. Yet instead of dropping it, she brought his fingers to her face now, kissing his knuckles. „I thought you would like to. You are not aware, aren't you, that what she is going to go through is as likely to kill her as to leave her alive."

Jack felt something cold grip his belly, all feeling of warmth and softness forgotten. „No, I wasn't", he said tonelessly. „But…"  
"There is no other way, Jack. I asked and there isn't. Yet it is still comparatively early, and it is not as dangerous yet as it could be."  
Jack sat up straight with a groan. He stared at Elizabeth for a while who just looked at him with an earnest and sad face. Then he shook his head and ran a hand across his face, feeling her hand tighten across the other.  
„Ye're right", he mumbled. „I'll better go see her."

Elizabeth slowly got up. „I thought you might." Then she stood back to let him sit up, and watched him with a strange look on her face as he reached for his wooden leg. „This is going to make the hell of a noise", he said with dismay. „Can't sneak down a corridor with wooden floorboards with that one." Then he shrugged, but Elizabeth took a step to the door. "I'll go get her", she said and disappeared, leaving Jack sitting on the bed and swearing softly under his breath. Hadn't it been for the need of silence and secrecy, he had thrown the cursed thing against the farthest wall. Instead, he just put it down again, shaking his head in angry frustration.

The door opened again, and this time it was Imogen who walked in, closing the door behind her. „Jack", she said. „Are ye sure ye should go to Barbados?"  
"Not any more, luv. But having announced it, I can hardly stay, what with having no excuse to hang around ye ladies for longer."  
Imogen walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. „I have a bad feeling about this, Jack, and I'm not talking about this." She pressed a hand on her belly.  
„Then what?", Jack asked, searching her eyes. Imogen shrugged.  
„I don't really know. It's just the feeling I don't want to be alone here."  
„But ye are not alone, darling. Elizabeth is here with ye and I'll leave two of me men with ye here, as well. And if ye want it, Billy is going to be one of them."  
„I'd like that very much", she said with a slight smile. „But I also want it to be his decision. He might prefer to go back to sea than listen to my wailing for weeks."  
„And a poor man he'd be did he really choose so", Jack said, taking her hand. „Of course he'll want to be at your side, even knowing he can't do anything. But he wants to be there, aye?"  
„He probably does."

"Imogen", he said, making her look at him. „I'd rather be here, too. I kow how dangerous this'll be, and if only since Elizabeth was here to tell me moments ago. I'd rather not leave ye, believe me."  
Imogen tightened her grip around his hand. „I' rather ye stayed, too", she said in a low voice. „It feels rather strange and somewhat painful to think I'd never see ye again."  
"Don't talk like that", Jack said urgently, pulling her close to him. „Stop talking like that!"  
„I'm not talking about me, Jack", she muttered into his shoulder, slinging her arms around him. „Last night I dreamed they hanged ye again, Jack. And this time, they tied a proper knot and broke yer neck."  
„It was just a dream", Jack said to reassure her, but something cold ran down his spine like a trickle of icy water.  
"Was it? God, Jack, ye told me yerself that ye have been hanged twice so far."  
"Now here", he said. „I haven't grown that old in my business without knowing how not to die. And if ye promise me not to perish or bleed to death, then I'll promise ye not to get meself hanged. Savvy?"  
„Savvy", she whispered into his hair. Jack smiled slightly and hugged her closer, only to realise she was trembling even more than before.

"Is there something else, luv?"  
„Jack", she whispered. „I don't know if I can do this. It could be Billy's."  
„So?", Jack said with more decidedness than he felt. „But then, it couldn't. D'ye want to spend the rest of yer life wondering if the child ye feed and raise is a child of love or hate?"  
She leaned back to look at him. Even in the darkness, he could see the haunted look in her eyes as well the tears that filled them. „No", she whispered. „But…"  
„Imogen", Jack said gently. „I won't lie to ye and try to pretend I know how ye feel, because that I can't and never will, being a man and all. I can't advise ye and can't hinder ye. The decision must be yours to bear, and yours alone. But by god, I swear, no matter how ye choose, I'll help ye in whatever way I can."

She swallowed, and Jack felt compelled to add „And I'm sure it's the same with yer Billy, ye know."  
She wiped a hand across her face. „So I'll end up with needing men folk around to protect me, after all. What a pile of shit."  
„But that's what we're for", Jack replied with a slight grin. „To protect our ladies. Makes us feel pretty useless and unnecessary, having women around who do the protecting bit themselves. Could as well be walking cocks, ye know."

Imogen slapped his shoulder and Jack grinned a little more, but then her tiny smile died again. „It's your grandson, as well", she whispered and Jack almost gasped for air with the sudden pain. He had never consciously thought of that before.  
„What the hell did ye have to go and tell me that for", he muttered with closed eyes and she leaned into his embrace again, holding on as tightly to him as he to her.  
„I had to tell someone", she muttered. „Anyone. Sorry, dad."  
"Don't be", he said. „Whatever ye say, don't be sorry." He swallowed a lump in his throat.  
„Jack", she said. „Would it bother ye if yer grandson was… Barbossa's? Even if it was yer grandson?"  
„I'll have to be honest, haven't I?", Jack said with a bitter taste in his mouth. „It would indeed. But then, if we knew that, this discussion wouldn't take place, would it?"  
„It might", Imogen said tonelessly. „Only in a slightly different tone."

Jack leaned back and cocked an eyebrow. She didn't look up.  
"I've done it before", she said. „Only then it was just a random nuisance to get rid of. And it was… rather unpleasant, I admit it. It was hell."  
„Imogen", Jack said, his voice giving away. He had to clear his throat. „I never…"  
"Ye weren't supposed do know"; she gave back. „No one was. But now it's different. Because now…" She broke off with a helpless shrug.  
"Now ye love the father", Jack finished for her. „Even if ye don't quite know if he really is."  
„Aye", she whispered. „And I wish I'd never met him."  
„That's what love does to ye", Jack said gently, feeling his heart grow more and more heavy with every passing moment and every spoken word. Here he was, growing weak again. He really _was _getting old.

„Do ye wish sometimes ye'd never met her?" Imogen looked up at him again.  
"Yes", he said. „And no." Then he shrugged. „I don't know if there's a simple answer to that question. Sometimes I wish I'd never met her, because my life would have been a lot easier, in many aspects." He tilted his head, looking past Imogen as memories flashed past before his inner eyes. „And sometimes I think it would have been a lot less worth living, as well. And now, what with finally…" He broke off and cleared his throat. „I simply don't know. Things are the way they are. But now, I am happy, yes. I'm happy to have her back. Although I must admit I never really had her, before. Is that what ye wanted to know?"

Imogen swallowed and nodded, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. „Jack, listen", she said. „I keep thinking about Barbossa, I keep thinking of Billy, and I keep thinking of you…"  
"What the hell do I have to do with…"  
„Listen to me!" She clenched both her fists. „Listen to me, Jack."  
"I listen", Jack whispered, and suddenly he was afraid of the words he would hear from her. He had never seen that look in her eyes, and had no words to describe it.

„Jack Sparrow, I have never seen ye look so happy than when ye watch that woman standing at the railing with the wind playing in her hair. Never. And now I know why in all those years ye avoided Port Royal like the devil will holy water. I know why ye risked yer neck to get Billy away from Barbossa. And I know why ye never could love my mother."  
"Do ye, now", Jack whispered and Imogen took his hand.  
„Aye, I do, Jack. Elizabeth should be my mother, that's why. Or Billy yer son. Or both. In any case, it would leave me without this dilemma I'm in now."  
„Imogen…"  
"I haven't finished, Jack", she said. Her face was, suddenly, free of the haunted fear and sadness from moments before, as if, all of a sudden, she had made up her mind and found a strange sense of peace in it. Jack swallowed, guessing how her decision was. Yet her next sentence almost knocked him over.  
„This child, if it is Billy's, will be the only child of both your flesh that will ever be. And even if it is only a chance of being his, I can't deprive you of it."

Feeling suddenly cold all over, Jack could only mutely shake his head, over and over again until after what seemed like hours, he found his speech again. „No", he whispered. „No, god, darling, don't do this for me. Ye'll have another one, for sure, at one time. Do it for yourself, if ye must, or for Billy or the both of ye. But not for me, and I'm sure Elizabeth will say exactly the same."  
„And if I die trying to get rid of this one, what then?", Imogen gave back. „I'm sure she will say so, as well. Because ye both have come to terms that life will hold nothing to offer for you any more, and that a little bit of happiness is not yours for the taking any more. But that's not fair. And I know…", she blocked his attempt to interrupt with a raised hand, „…that ye're going to say life is seldom fair. Maybe. Take what ye can and give nothing back. I know that well and have lived to this all my life."

She leaned forward and looked into Jack's eyes. He was almost petrified, could neither move nor think of something to say.

„But now I'm old enough to know what love is, aye? And I've seen it. And it's not right ye should have so little happiness and so much regret. And now, I want to give ye something back. Ye gave me the gift of my life, Jack. Don't ye think it's my right to want to give it back?"  
Jack shook his head, tears burning in his throat. „Don't do this for me", he croaked and Imogen leaned forward into he arms again. They held each other tight for a while with neither of them speaking a word. When Jack finally let her go to say something, he felt he couldn't. He seemed to have lost his speech and could only stare at his daughter.

„Jack", she said. „If I'm doing this, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me. And if all else would not matter, then the sheer fact it's getting more dangerous with each day might, aye? I'm too far gone by now to attempt that with a light heart. I'm well into the third month now. Hell, ye can even begin to see it…"  
She looked down and tightened the shirt across her belly and Jack could not deny that this was the case. Just about, but clear enough for anyone who cared to look.  
"I don't fancy killing meself", she said without looking up. „If nothing else, it'd make Barbossa even laugh in hell would he ever know."

Jack opened his mouth to say something, but could think of nothing useful and closed it again. Was he imagining it, or was it that with having told him all her thoughts, she seemed as if a huge weight had been lifted off her?  
He wasn't. She actually smiled at him as she got up.  
"I'm sorry to have loaded this all on you, Jack. But I had to tell someone, and I'd rather tell you because ye understand me no matter what I ramble on about."  
Jack meant to get up as well but lost his balance when there was no left foot under him to take his weight. Imogen wordlessly sat down again and embraced him. „I haven't quite decided yet. But having told someone all that was on my mind makes me feel more free to decide."

"Glad to have helped", Jack muttered. He was, of course. In a way. But now he had to carry his part of her load, as well, even more than before. Imogen got up again and touched his shoulder before she left. „Sorry to have brought this on ye with telling ye."  
"It's all right", he said, managing a smile. She smiled in return and left, nodding to Elizabeth who took the handle from her hand and closed the door behind her from inside.

She sat down next to Jack on the bed again. „That was a rather long good bye", she observed and Jack shrugged without looking at her.  
„It wasn't precisely a good bye, only."  
„I thought as much."  
Jack looked up and swallowed. „She's changed so much", he said in a low voice. „She's suddenly so grown up and so… I don't know. Maybe that's what being pregnant does to a woman. Making want men to protect her while standing tall and proud."

Elizabeth chuckled under her breath and took Jack's hand in hers. „It is, and more. I remember it. It's like you're suddenly privy to the world's greatest secret, a secret that no one even knows exists. And while it makes you feel weak and vulnerable, it makes you also feel strong and powerful. You feel protective and want to be protected at the same time, and yet you feel like the most powerful being in the world. It must be the feeling of creating a new life there, in your body."

Jack gave her a long look, blinking tears out of his eyes. „Aye, and that's what drives us always back into yer arms. Even if we're not aware of it or even deny we are. We want to be part of that little miracle. And the glorious feeling of being king of the world, besides", he added with a slight smile, wiping his eyes. Elizabeth noticed this gesture and laid her hand on his cheek, looking at him questioningly. Yet he could not bring himself to tell her what Imogen had told him.

Instead, he just kissed her, hungrily, passionately, trying to pull her down with him to finally grab his little piece of heaven which he had been promised and which had been hovering just out of his reach now for so long. Yet Elizabeth resisted his pull.  
„Stay with me, Lizzie", he whispered into her ear.  
„I can't", she replied and kissed his cheek, then leaned back to look at him. It was slightly reconciliating that she looked as flushed and hungry as he felt but her refusal hurt him, nonetheless, until she spoke again.„Dawn is already greying outside", she said, and he had to admit she was right, and she should under no circumstances be seen coming from his room in any time of day or night.

He sat up with a heavy sigh. „I'll be with ye in thought", he said. „Take ye good care of me little one, Lizzie."  
"Promised", she said. „And this time, I'll not lose her."  
They exchanged another hasty, hungry kiss and then she got up, opened the door and peeked outside, and with a flick of her dress, vanished like a dream that was evaporating in the morning light.

But there was nothing else he could do right now, so he put on his wooden leg after all, dressed himself and left the room as silently as he could. Walking down the road to the harbour, he didn't look back, although he send another thought back to his ladies to take care of themselves.  
Reaching his ship, he saw the crew was already up and about to be ready to leave with the tide. He went aboard and looked for Bill, first thing and spotting him tying some ropes up, he walked over. Bill heard his steps and looked around, but did not stop what he was doing.

„Meant to talk to ye before I gather the crew together", Jack said to him. „I mean to leave two men there with the ladies, and thought ye might want to be one of them. Yet Imogen insisted, and I agree, it should be yer own choice and I didn't want to shame ye into going."  
Bill swallowed. „I do want to stay", he said. „I know I won't likely be able to do anything for her but be there…"  
"Which in itself will be quite a lot, I reckon", Jack replied and watched Bill's fingers work. „And if nothing else, ye can be with her if all else fails. At least ye can say her good bye then." Then he turned and walked across the deck to call his crew together, leaving Bill stare at the knot he had just tied. He would gladly give her any comfort, even if it was as she was dying. Then, at least, she wouldn't have to know about his own dying, afterwards.


	25. Chapter 25

Insert standard disclaimer here.

So it happened that the poor Billy got pushed more and more into the background, as if he was an unimportant supernumerary... well, I guess it's a family trait, but even him being Will's son, I didn't want that to happen because he's Elizabeth's son, too. Sorry about that, and to make up for it, here's a whole Billy-chapter.  
And yes, he's Imogen's, as well.  
Enjoy.

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**Chapter 25**

The bottle was becoming his friend. The lower the level of rum in the bottle sank, the better a friend did it become to Bill and although the rum did not lift his moods nor spirits, it numbed his soul, which was fine by him. Ever since that night a couple of days ago, he had felt a constant pain, like a shard of glass scraping on his soul, like a bitter burning in his throat, like a knife twisting in his guts. From the moment Imogen had told him that she was with child, Bill had not had a moment of peace.

Deciding that he could do with a bit more numbness, he poured himself another glass, dimly registering that Garbutt, the second man that Jack had left behind, had sat down beside him.  
"They're a blessin' an' a curse, an' no mistake", the old salt said.  
Billy squinted up at him. „What?"  
„Wimmin." Garbutt took a healthy swig of his own rum. „Can't live with, can't live without. Aye?" He grinned, exposing his rather prominent front teeth.  
„Well." Billy shrugged and picked up his own glass. „I guess you're right."  
„So, what's the trouble wi'yer sweetheart, lad?", Garbutt asked and Bill looked up.  
"What makes you think I have trouble with her?"

Garbutt grinned even broader. „The way ye slump o'er yonder glass, lad. 'Tis none makes a man suffer like this, an' no mistake, than bein' in a whiff o'er a lass."  
„A whiff?" Bill sipped at his rum and the old sailor lowered his eyebrows.  
„Scorned, is what I mean."  
„Oh." Bill took another sip. „No, I haven't been scorned", he said then over the rim of his glass.  
"Have ye no? Ye look it, matey."  
„Wish I was."  
Garbutt furrowed his forehead. „Whad'ya mean wi'that?"  
Bill shrugged. „She was raped. And now she's with child."

The old sailor fell silent for a while and then, still without a word, he got up, brought Bill another bottle and left him to his drinking without so much as a good night. Grateful but still a bit irritated as to why the old man knew so exactly what had been the best thing to do, Bill took his bottles, one full and one half-empty, and withdrew to the stables. He wanted to get drunk, and he wanted to do so alone.

Settling down in the hay in an empty box, he listened to the peaceful noises of the horses around him as he made silent conversation with his bottle, not having bothered to bring his glass. And for the first time since that night he consciously thought about it, not bothering to distract himself in any way from those painful, soul-tearing truths.

_The way Imogen leaned into his embrace made him worry even more than the expression on her face. He put his arms around her and gently stroked her back. „It'll be all right", he whispered. „Whatever is wrong, it'll be all right."  
_"_No", she said, leaning back. „You don't understand. It'll never be all right again."  
_"_Then tell me", Bill said and took her hands in his. „Imogen, love, tell me."  
__She looked down at his hands closed around hers and swallowed. „I'm with child, Billy."_

_Bill felt like hit in the guts with a giant club. Shaking his head in mute denial, he stared down at Imogen who hadn't looked at him yet. Forcing himself under control, he stopped the futile headshaking and swallowed to get his voice back. „Imogen, love…"  
Imogen__ looked up. „I don't know", she said. „I simply don't know if it's yours or his."_

_Forcing his racing heart to calm if not slow down, he took a deep breath. „Imogen", he then said as gently as he could. „Is there anything I can possibly do for you?"  
__She swallowed and shook her head. „No, I don't think so. But thanks." She managed a tiny smile and to encourage herself as much as him and he smiled back at her. _„_I'm not going to marry ye, if that's what ye mean to say next", she gave back with a twitch of her lips. „But if ye go with me wherever I go, then I'd be glad, Billy."_

_Bill shook his head, feeling half amused and half exasperated. „Imogen, I wasn't even thinking about asking you that."  
_„_Ye never know, with a decent lad. It's like Jack said, aye? Don't trust an honest man. Ye never know when he's going to do something incredibly stupid."  
_„_Like asking the woman he loves to marry him?"  
__Imogen flashed him a tiny grin and he could not stop himself smiling back. „Aye", she said. „Like that. Especially if she's a pirate and all. I'm not going to become a Mrs Turner and…"  
_„_And spend the rest of your life on land, waiting for your man to drop by now and then?", Bill interrupted her. „Like my mother?" He shook his head and Imogen bit her lower lip. „I thought you'd think better of me, what with me having watched her suffer for the better part of my life." He sighed and leaned a little forward. „No bird that was born free should be caged, Imogen. Birds must fly free."_

_Imogen smiled at him and a a single tear fell from the lashes of her left eye, followed by another one from her right. He gently caught one of those tears on her cheek with his forefinger and kissed it away. „I'm not going to lie to you, love", he said softly. „It's not that I don't mind. It's not that it doesn't bother me. I do mind, and it does bother me. But it does so only because I see you suffer with it. Would it make you happy, it would make me happy."  
_„_And if I want to get rid of it, what then? It could be yours."_

„_It could", he said with more strength in his voice than he felt. He owed it to her, though, because she needed his strength right now. „But I never would force that child on you, even if it could be mine. I couldn't do this to you. But believe me this, and believe it even though it comes from an honest man and thus may be incredibly stupid: No matter how you decide, I will stand by you. And if you choose do do away with it, I'll not hinder you. And if you choose to keep it, then I will accept it as mine before god and witnesses the day it'll be born."_

„_Oh Billy", Imogen sighed and leaned into his arms again. „Maybe it is stupid. But it makes it easier for me."  
__He hugged her tight and placed a kiss on the top of her head. „I wish I could take more than this load off you, love."  
_"_You've taken quite a bit", she replied with a smile in her voice. _

Quite a bit. Bill took another swig out of his bottle. Quite a bit, but the better part of that load was still hers to bear, and hers alone. He couldn't make her decision for her, and even less could he ease her heart, soul or conscience no matter how she would choose. He could only stand ready and offer support, and hope that whatever she would be going through, she would emerge again if not unscathed then at least only a bit singed around the edges. But even with that, he thought grimly, he might be deluding himself.

The bottle empty, he didn't waste any time and took the other one, uncorked it and drank the first sip to Garbutt who had helped him to it. But then, suddenly, a thought hit his mind and he had to grin. He slowly corked the bottle again and got up, brushing the straw from his shirt and breeches. He had been thinking back and forth how he could make Imogen believe he would not leave her, no matter what happened, but words alone seemed too feeble and to insubstantial for a situation as grave as this.

But this might work… it might actually work. He would make her see that he really, really meant it. That he wasn't making empty promises, that he wasn't going to leave her, ever.

He closed the barn door behind him with a small grin and set out to find a more down-to-earth tavern nearer to the harbour where he would find common sailors drinking cheap spirits. Those men would provide him with the information he needed.

x x x x x x x x

It seemed luck had favoured him. What he sought for could indeed be found in Curaçao, and now that he stood before the man recommended to him, he did not doubt these recommendations had been based on the truth. A skilled man, an artist, a man who knows his tools and craft, these had been the words Bill had heard, and looking at the man before him, he did no longer doubt any of them. Not by the look of his arms.

„Quite late in the night", Stevenson said. „But that's the best part of custom. What can old Stevenson do for ye, laddie?" He stepped aside and gestured for Bill to come in.

As he ducked through the doorway, Bill still felt some doubts about his undertaking, and as he had a look around, listening to Stevenson closing the door behind him, he asked himself for the tenth time if he was doing the right thing.

„So what can old Stevenson do for ye?", he asked again and Bill turned around to muster the man again. He was tall and broad in the chest, had a neatly trimmed grey beard but was as bald as an egg. A golden earring pierced his left earlobe and his arms were covered in strange, foreign symbols and abstract figurines. Stevenson noticed Bill's look and looked at his arms. „Oh aye, have spent some years on various pacific islands, laddie. That's where I learned me craft, ye see. Trust ye to me." He winked, and Bill had to grin.

„Need any advise?", Stevenson asked. „Something to impress the ladies? Something to make ye stand out from the crowd of men?" He waggled his eyebrows. „Had a guy here once who wanted to have the name of his ship written on his cock. Changed his mind with the first letter, though." He laughed, a coarse, deep rumbling, and Bill tilted his head. „You're taking me in, Stevenson."  
"By god, no I don't", Stevenson snorted. „And believe me, ye wouldn't be the only one changing his mind with the first few pricks. Takes more than a strong bone in yer arm, laddie. Takes a strong bone in yer head, as well."  
Bill grinned. „I don't know if I have either. But impress a girl, that I want."

„Sit ye down, laddie", Stevenson said. „By the way ye talk I gather ye have something in mind already."  
„I do", Bill said. „Tell me, do you hail from Europe?"  
„Aye, that I do. Liverpool, that's where I was born, that's where I grew up. Why the asking?"  
„Because what I want cannot be found anywhere in the Caribbean sea", Billy said with a smile and took of his vest and shirt.  
„So?" Stevenson stepped around him to muster his back as if he was a painter investigating the quality of his canvas. „On yer back, I gather?"  
"Right between the shoulder blades."

Stevenson walked around him again and picked up an apparatus that looked like a rather large quill with a long needle at the tip. „Right between the shoulder blades, aye. And I gather since it can't be found here, under the Caribbean sun, it's not a ship and no fish or mermaid, either."  
„No, although it is an animal I am talking about."  
„Is it", Stevenson said and tilted his head. Bill grinned.

x x x x x x x x

When Bill came back to the inn late that night, so late, in fact, that it could be called very early morning, he found his mother sitting on the stairs to the door. She heard his steps and got up, but as she recognised him, she relaxed visibly and stepped down the stairs to meet him. „Billy", she said with a smile. „What are you doing here at this time of night?"  
„I could ask the same of you, mother", he replied. „I was… running an errand."  
Elizabeth lifted an eyebrow.  
„For me", Bill added. „I had to do something. You know how… how words sometimes are not strong enough?"  
„I do", Elizabeth said slowly, mustering Bill with narrowed eyes. „And can I ask as to what you were doing? Mere curiosity, mind."  
"Oh, you can", he said. „But I intend to keep it a secret."  
She shook her head with a smile. „Right then, I will not pry. But it isn't nice, leaving a woman stranded like that."

He grinned. „I'm sorry. But I intend to really keep this a secret. It is… rather private", he added then, his grin narrowing into a soft smile.  
Elizabeth laid a hand on his arm. „By all means, you're old enough to have secrets and keep your privacy, even from me."  
Bill shrugged and looked past her. „Mother", he said slowly after a pause, „Did you ever have any doubt who my father was?"  
Caught off guard, Elizabeth blinked and had to take a deep breath to get her brains into gear again to keep up with the sudden change of topic. „Why are you asking that, Billy?"  
"Because I want to know?" He looked back at her face.  
„I guess it's Imogen whom you're thinking about, and I surely don't blame you", she said after a while. „No, I never was in any doubt. For whatever I had felt for Jack even as I betrothed myself to, and later married, your father, I never let these feelings get the better of me." She shrugged with a sad smile. „Maybe I should have, but I didn't."

She turned around and looked into the direction of the harbour. „No, I never was in any doubt who your father was, Billy. I was a virgin when I married your father, and I never was with a man since, before he came back home." She slowly crossed her arms. „Don't think I haven't tried to imagine myself in her position. I've tried, in any way, to be able to help her. But I just can't. I knew all along without any doubt who fathered you and there was no doubt that I loved him."  
„And father?"  
Elizabeth turned again to look at Bill. „What about him?"  
"Did he believe you?"  
She narrowed her eyes. „Believe me what?"  
Bill swallowed and shrugged. „Forgive me, I don't mean to insult you, but ten years are a long time…"

Elizabeth was about to snap something in reply, but then thought better of it. He had meant no insult, and he still, despite his age, didn't know the whole story. Maybe this was the time to tell him. „Billy", she said. „I had no choice. I have told you about the Flying Dutchman, haven't I?"  
„You have", Billy said, a trace of sorrow in his voice.  
„I have", she said. „But I failed to mention why your father came back", she added. „He came back because I broke the curse. I had been faithful for ten years, and the curse was broken."  
Billy looked abashed. „I'm sorry, mother I didn't…"  
Elizabeth lifted her hand with a sad smile. „You couldn't know. And I am only human, so I can't really blame you. But that explains now why there was never any doubt about your sire, nor any doubt about my fidelity."  
Bill nodded slowly. „I see."  
„I'm sorry, I know this wasn't very helpful", Elizabeth said.

Bill shrugged. „Do you think if, under other circumstances, he would have had reasons to doubt you, he would have… accepted me?"  
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. „I couldn't say", she replied carefully. „But I know one thing: He did love me deeply, and had I told him he wasn't your father, he would have accepted you for my sake alone. It would have made him sad, I am sure, and maybe even angry, although he was never the man to be angered easily. But he would have accepted you and raised you as his own."  
„And would you have believed him?"  
"Believed him what?"  
„That he meant it?"  
"I would. Because I knew how much he loved me, and how much I loved him." She swallowed and shook her head.  
„Mother", Bill said in a low voice that made her look up again. „I think Imogen doesn't believe me. I believe she still half-thinks that she is no more than a fancy to me."  
„What makes you think so?"  
„I have the feeling she doesn't take me serious whenever I speak of my feelings for her." Even if he looked suddenly so vulnerable and hurt, the way he looked at her, Elizabeth chuckled softly under her breath. „That, my son, is something I have learned far too late in my life and that I now tell you so you won't make the same mistakes as me."

Bill narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

"She's no different than Jack ever was. The stronger his emotions were, the more did he hide them. Preferably behind lax words and teasing jokes, and whenever I think I had really annoyed him it just meant I had hit home with an earlier remark. I didn't realise that until it was far too late, though. Take everything that comes from a Sparrow with a pinch of salt, Billy, especially their jokes. Her father is a passionate man with feelings almost too strong for himself, and the only way he keeps on top of them is through joking. And by the way you talk, it is no different for her."

Bill swallowed. „But how can I get through to her?"  
Elizabeth shrugged. „I don't know. I think you'll have to keep trying, because I'm sure you don't want to wear those barriers down like the tides will wear the rocks. Don't loose as much time as I have."  
Bill looked up at her face again. „I won't", he said. „And I certainly won't give up that easily."  
"No, I don't think so." Elizabeth smiled slightly up at him. „Because your stubbornness is something you have inherited from me."  
Bill grinned. „In that case you can probably judge my chances better than anyone else."  
Elizabeth grinned in response. „I might. And I…" She broke off when Bill turned and lifted his shirt.  
"This is my secret, and I ask you to keep it for me. Think this'll help?"

Elizabeth swallowed and felt her vision blur, but try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears that so suddenly burst out of her eyes by the sight of Bill's back. "Aye", she whispered. „If nothing else, this will do. And no doubt about it."


	26. Chapter 26

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Sorry for the long break, but I have been off sick and thus, having no internet connection at home thanks to BT's brilliant service, I was unable to update. Luckily, I was quite able to put my time into good use even with all the coughing and sniffling.

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**Chapter 26**

The little green bottle sat on the nightstand, innocently reflecting a ray of sunlight in glittering speckles of gold.

Imogen watched it. For some reason, she had expected a vile concoction that was bubbling, steaming and stinking, but the only smell that had come from the bottle was a rather non-descript sourly smell of old, rotten wine and as it was, the little green bottle contained nothing but a dark, thin liquid.  
Elizabeth had brought her the bottle that morning, and she had asked for some hour's time, yet again. She had asked for midnight, in fact, for she wanted Billy to be with her and he could not enter her room in bright daylight with everyone else aware.

So she had until midnight to watch that little bottle standing beside her bed.

A blessing and a curse. Salvation and damnation. As if god and the devil had made a contract to create such like this.

She had spend days and days in thought. But now, as the bottle was actually there, she found herself thinking about anything, everything and nothing, but not about the matter at hand. Suddenly, her mind shied away from the whole affair and all the carefully thought through pros and contras and paths of action didn't exist any more. She had spend days trying to decide, weighing up everything against anything else and suddenly, with the solution at hand, she was back to square one again. She simply didn't know any more.

There had been moments when she had been absolutely sure she would do it and go ahead with her life. There had been moments when she had been absolutely sure she couldn't. And now… now she was only sure of one thing: No matter how she chose, her life would never be the same. She was standing at a crossroads, and there was only left or right, no straight ahead, and both paths were clouded in fog.

Imogen fell back into her pillows with a sigh. Maybe she should try and get some sleep, she would unlikely be able to sleep tonight. Maybe not so soon after, as well. She closed her eyes, trying to think of nothing, and even if she never would have thought she'd actually sleep, she sank into oblivion almost instantly. It could have to do with the three sleepless nights in a row she had gone through already.

Suddenly, she was back in Tortuga again... _standing in front of her mother's house._

_„Imogen!" Her mother sat down on the little bench beside the door. „What brings you here?"  
Imogen could only shrug and sat down beside her. Heather gave her a long, considering look.  
„What troubles ye, lass?"  
„I'm with child."  
"Oh, aye, that's a reason to be troubled, and no mistake. Do ye know, at least, who the father is?"_

_Imogen looked at her hands. „No", she replied. „I met the man I love, but shortly afterwards, was raped by another. I don't know."  
„Now that's a hard lot", her mother said thoughtfully. „Will ye get rid of it?"  
"I've thought about it. But I don't know if I can."  
„So what about that man?"  
"Which one?" Imogen looked at her mother who smiled very sadly down at her.  
"The one ye love, child."  
"What about him?"  
„Does he know?"  
„Aye, that he does."  
„And does he still want ye? Despite knowing it mightn't be his?"  
„That he does, as well."_

_Her mother was silent for a while. During that time, Imogen looked around and found that nothing had changed. There were still the same herbs and flowers in the garden, there was still the one broken shutter that wouldn't open properly any more, and there was still the old, shabby red tomcat lying on the windowsill._

_„Ye want to keep it, aye?" Heather gave her a long look.  
"What makes ye think so?"  
"If ye wouldn't, ye wouldn't be here to seek advise but go to find a woman who takes care of such things, aye?"  
Imogen didn't reply. Did she, indeed?_

_Her mother shook her head. „Don't ye think I don't know how that feels? Who's the father of this one? Do I want to keep it? Five times, lass, have I been in your shoes. And my decision was always the same, all but the last time."  
Imogen looked up with a wry smile. „That would've been me, I guess."  
Her mother chuckled. „As ye might, lass. And ye know, that was the first time I knew who the father was. And I thought, maybe he cares. Because he knew who the father was, as well. But I never was sure of that. Never, not before he came one day to find me, and you in my arms. I saw it then, as he looked at you. And I tell ye, you were his, and would have been no matter who fathered ye."  
"What makes ye so sure of that?", Imogen asked, looking at her mother.  
Heather shrugged with a smile. „I knew him well, ye see. There's lots of men who tell a whore or a woman not much better he loves her. But there's more than one way to speak of love, and the only one where ye cannot lie is with yer eyes."_

_Staring at her mother, Imogen tried to think of something smart to reply. She was sure that Jack wasn't such a soft-hearted git, especially when he had been younger and more reckless. But Heather leaned forward and spoke again. „I've never seen him look like that. Not to any woman, nor to any child that was presented to him as being his, and there were quite a few of them, believe me, yet I'd dare say none was. Never looked at his ship nor the sea that way, and a troubling sight it was, I admit, before he got his grips on him again. Ye were his from the moment he first saw ye, a Sparrow, and no bones about it. That ye were. And he saw it. And had he not fathered ye, he would have looked at ye the same."  
Imogen swallowed. „I still don't see…"  
"It wouldn't have mattered", her mother interrupted. „It simply wouldn't. There's that look in a man's eyes that tells ye: It doesn't matter who ye are and where ye from, I love ye all the same."  
Imogen looked at her hands again. „So ye're telling me Billy will not mind?"  
„He will. But he will love it all the same. If he loves you."  
"But Jack didn't love you!"  
"Aye, but then he knew ye were his."_

_„That doesn't get me anywhere", Imogen said and stood up. „I'm sorry mother, but…"  
"No fuss", her mother said, getting up as well. „Ye wanted advice, not an order."  
„Did ye ever regret having me?"  
„Regret? Why, by god, no. Never believe that, child. I never regretted having ye."  
„But you gave me away…"  
„Aye, that I did." Heather looked past her, towards the pier. „That I did. Because he kept coming, ye know. I didn't want him to come. I had thought the child might bind him to me, but then I realised, when he looked at ye, that he would never, ever look at me that way. And I didn't want him with me any more because his pity wasn't what I wanted. I wanted his love, but neither was it mine to take nor his to give."_

_Her eyes wandered across the garden and back to Imogen. „But never have I regretted you. A mother never looses a child, ye see. It's part of ye. Even if it dies, even if ye kill it yerself, it'll always be there. Most times, I was able not to think of them, as most women do. Sometimes, ye can't help it. Ye think ‚He'd be that old by now, would he learn a craft? Would he go to sea? He'd have a girl by now.' Ye never stop thinking that. They live on, inside ye. They grow up and live, and ye even think about grandchildren at one time, those that will never be. But they are there, nonetheless. No, I never regretted having ye. For ye are with me, all the time, even after death, and so a part of him is with me, as well. Always."_

_Imogen stared helplessly at her mother, tears streaming down her face. She had known, of course. She had known from the first moment she had found out. It was her second, after all. And yes, most of all those years she had never given it a second thought, it had been so early there hardly had been anything there at all. And yet, in soft moments, when she was in a really bad mood or really drunk and mostly both, it kept coming back to haunt her. That little boy with dark eyes, staring accusingly up to her, as if silently asking her why he had not been allowed to live.  
Seldom enough, and after a few years, he had stopped showing up. But she remembered having seen him, and she was sure he would come back again now and bring his younger brother. And yet… would the little one have dark eyes or blue ones? And if they were blue, would that make it any easier?_

_Imogen looked up again to ask Heather if she also saw them only to find her gone. „Mother?" She knocked at the door, but there was no answer, yet when she tried to open it, she found it locked and barred. „Mother! Open up, please! I've got to ask ye something! Mother!"_

„Mother!"  
„Imogen!"  
„Mother!!"  
„Imogen wake up, you're dreaming!"

Imogen sat bolt upright in the bed, gasping for air. „Elizabeth?"  
She felt Elizabeth lay an arm around her shoulder. „Yes, it's me. You were dreaming and calling for your mother."  
Imogen swallowed and let herself fall back again. „She disappeared before I could ask her my last question", she said softly, making Elizabeth raise her brows. Imogen shrugged. „It wasn't the most important question, anyway."

Both women were silent for a while and Imogen closed her eyes. „Ye know", she said after a while, „I think she came back to advise me."  
"Did she?", Elizabeth said gently and Imogen nodded. „And even if only out of my own deepest memories. I never knew her all that well." Elizabeth didn't reply and just watched her. „Is Billy here yet?"  
„No, he isn't, but then, it is almost midnight. He should be here any moment."

Imogen noddd silently and closed her eyes again. Both of them sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and equally startled when a soft knock came from the door. Hastily, Elizabeth got up to unbar the door and in stepped Bill, hesitatingly and his eyes full of concern. He slowly sat down onto the bed beside Imogen. „How are you, love?"  
"Not too bad", she replied. „It's all this lying in bed pretending to be weak that gets at me. Not that I'm not, mind."  
„You're not weak, you're just tired. You're strong, Imogen. You can do whatever you must."  
He looked at her with his dark, soft eyes and Imogen had to smile. „Aye, ye really do believe that, don't ye."  
"I don't believe that", he said in a low voice, taking one of her hands in his. „I know."  
Imogen chuckled softly and leaned against his shoulder. He put both arms around her and held her tight for a while, letting go of her only when she leaned back to look at him.

„Billy", she said, locking her eyes into his. „Will ye really go with me wherever I go?"  
„I will", he said. „And I mean it."  
Imogen smiled at him through her tears who suddenly blurred her vision. „Aye, ye do, don't ye. Turned a pirate for my sake to be with me. Ye're a good man to have Billy, and no bones about it." Then she put both hands on his cheeks and kissed him. Bill couldn't read her face when she broke the kiss and looked at him. „I've made up me mind", Imogen said then, sitting up straight again, and reached for the bottle. „And if ye be with me, Billy, then I'll do."  
„No bones about it", Bill whispered and Imogen actually had to chuckle. „Good man."

Then she looked up, straight ahead, and stared at the opposite wall where moonlight filtered through the window, casting a silvery beam of light into the room. And then she saw him, stepping out of the beam of light as if it was the light spilling out of an opened door into a dark and foggy street. He looked at her, neither threateningly nor angry, he just looked at her in a manner of mild interest, as if curious about what she'd do next. Imogen looked at him.

From tilted hat to shaggy rat nest of a beard, even the pistols in his sash looked exactly as she remembered them, and he only cocked an eyebrow and slowly crossed his arms.

_By the sea and all ships she carries and has ever swallowed,_ Imogen thought. _Ye won't have me, ye bastard. Ye won't break me._

A slow smile spread on her lips, and even if Bill and Elizabeth both followed her gaze, they could only see the moonlight. Slowly, Imogen lifted the hand with the bottle and looked at Bill. He returned the gaze and could see it, suddenly, written in her eyes how her decision was. He neither smiled nor frowned, but just nodded and took her other hand.Imogen looked back at the spirit that had come to haunt her. _Go back to the pits of hell what spit ye out,_ she thought. _I'm done with ye._ And then she threw the bottle against the wall where it shattered in a cloud of shards and dark liquid that trickled away into the cracks between the floorboards.

Imogen hadn't taken her eyes of the spirit and now saw she had won. He had dropped his arms and had slightly lifted his chin, but she recognised a gesture of defeat when she saw it. She flashed Barbossa a last, sweet smile before he took two steps back, vanishing slowly, as if hesitating, into the beam of moonlight. Gone without so much as a blink of an eye.

Without another word, Bill pulled her into an embrace and she leaned against him. She had expected herself to break down crying no matter how she'd choose, but to her surprise, she didn't. She didn't even feel like sobbing. She felt only… relief.

x x x x x x x x

The crash of the bottle made Jack jerk in his chair and blink as he looked hastily around. Identifying what had caused him to wake up from the blessed and sweet stupor he had managed to drink himself into, he leaned back and had a look around. The shattered bottle had been empty and was lying under his table, so it had likely been he himself who had knocked it over in his slumber.

Stretching and yawning, he had another look around and noticed that custom had quieted down, so it must be well past midnight. Usually, custom in Annie's Rest was busy no matter what time of day or night, but the small hours of the night saw almost every man either stone drunk or lovingly cared for. There were by now only two other men apart from Jack himself in the bar, and both of them were more drunk than he.

Swearing softly under his breath, Jack grabbled for his cane that had fallen down, knocked down doubtlessly by the same jerky, sleepy, drunken movements that had knocked over the empty bottle and ended his sweet and dreamless slumber. Pulling himself onto his feet with another heartfelt curse, he limped over to the bar.

„Jack, sweetheart, I thought ye'd never wake up on me again tonight." Annie gave him a sweet smile while cleaning some tankards. „Feel like going to bed, aye?"  
„What's left of me, at least."  
„Oh, let me judge that, there's a good man", Annie said and with a last glance into the direction of the two drunks, she threw down her towel and took her apron off.  
Swinging her hips invitingly, she walked around the bar and hooked one arm through Jack's. „I have to talk business with ye, Annie", Jack muttered as she led him upstairs.  
"Business, aye? So ye won't be sleeping in yer own room, then, I gather?"  
Jack flashed her a small smile. „Might, might not."  
"Oh don't tell me ye're that wasted already?", she said teasingly. „Barely had yer fill of five bottles, darling." With these words, she opened the door to her own chamber and Jack walked past her, watching her bolt the door.

Annie turned and indicated for him to sit down at the table. As he did so, she rummaged around in a cupboard and came back to the table with a bottle and two glasses which she put on the table before sitting down. So what business is it ye wanted to talk about, Jack? I know ye that much that ye won't need special attention of one of the girls tonight, by the look of ye."  
Jack took a glass with a nod and had a sip. A fine rum, much better than the grub that Annie sold her usual customers, including even him. But then, he was the owner and paid for nothing in his own business so that did as well for him. Annie took a sip of her rum and watched him with cocked eyebrows.

„I'm not going to make a fuss, Annie. I'm planning on selling the whole business."  
„What business? The tavern? Sell it? Are ye kidding me?"  
Jack leaned back, watching Annie with narrowed eyes. „No, Annie, I'm not kidding ye. I'm selling the Rest. But I intend to do so that it won't be to yer disadvantage."  
„Not to my disadvantage? Jack, care to tell me what has gotten into yer stupid and twice stupid head? I've never heard ye talk of anything but the coins that spill out of this business here like milk from a cow."  
"Aye, so I did."  
"So what's the matter?"  
Jack took a sip of his rum. „I'm settling down, Annie. In Port Royal."

She stared at him in stupefaction, setting her glass down very slowly. Jack mentally prepared himself for the emotional explosion that was doubtlessly to follow. _And it serves me right, doesn't it?  
_„Port Royal", she finally said. „What does a man like you want in Port Royal?"  
"Can't see why that's yer business, Annie."  
„Since it concerns me loosing every penny and my daily living, I fail to see why it shouldn't", she snapped back.  
Jack leaned forward with one of his impish grins. „See, that's where ye are wrong. I planned on selling the Rest to you."  
Annie blinked. „To me?"  
"As I might", Jack gave back, taking a sip of his rum. „It's called Annie's Rest, after all."

Annie slowly got up and walked over to the window, staring out into the empty street below. With a sigh, Jack laboured to his feet as well, trying to think of something to say. He had expected an outburst and had prepared for it, outbursts were something he could deal with. But the accusing, silent shaking of her head and hunching of her shoulders was something he didn't quite know how to deal with. Although he quite well enough knew why she would…

„Jack."  
„Aye?"  
She turned around again and to his surprise and relief, wasn't crying. She didn't even seem overly upset. She just looked exhausted, all of a sudden, and tired. Dropping her arms, she walked back to the table again, stopping before him, their bodies inches apart. Ye said ye would come here one day and settle down here, with me."  
Jack's voice was a little hoarse. „Aye, so I did."  
„Ye said ye love me and wanted to live with me here."

Why was she so damn calm and matter-of-factly about it? Where was she at? And what was he supposed to say now? Anything he could think of would make it worse, he knew. Because anything he could say would be a lie, another lie in a web of lies. But what if he would tell her the truth, plain and simple, for the first time in all those years? He was a pirate, after all. She would probably understand if he spoke the truth, for once. „I lied", he said.

He had said it without a smile, without a smirk, without scorn or feeling in his voice. Well, maybe his voice had held a little bit of regret. And she just smiled at him. She smiled!

„Why didn't you say so before?", Annie asked. „Why lie for so long?"  
Jack thought about this and could only think of one answer. „Because I'm a scumbag?"  
Annie shook her head and looked down with a chuckle. „Aye, that ye are, and no mistake, Jack Sparrow. A thief, rogue, villain, pirate and a scumbag. A liar, betrayer, impostor and a scumbag." She looked up again. „I never believed you."

Jack blinked and slowly cocked an eyebrow. „Then why…"  
"Probably for the same reason you felt the need to lie. I felt the need to make ye believe. It made ye feel better."  
It was Jack's turn to chuckle now. „Serves me right for having tried to fool ye, luv. And here I stand now, having made an arse of meself again." And to his surprise, Annie laid her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. He stared at her when she leaned back.

„Stop gawking, Jack. So ye'll sell the place to me?"  
„Aye, I planned on doing so."  
„And what price will ye have?"  
"Half of what ye can spare. I won't leave ye with nothing put aside should something go to pieces."  
„Where does the decency come from, Jack?"  
„Redemption?"

Annie threw her head back and laughed. „And that word coming from your mouth? I can scarce believe that, Jack Sparrow."  
"I can scarce believe it meself, luv", Jack said with a grin. „But let me add, if that makes ye feel better, that I don't really need the gold. My last catch was a spice merchant and that left me with a small fortune."  
„Aye, then I'll agree", Annie said, sliding her arms around his neck. „It's fifty doubloons I've got in me coffers right now, and ye shall have twenty and five of them."  
"Twenty and five", Jack repeated with a smile, thinking of a polite way to shake her off. „Ye've got yerself a deal, Annie.

Yet even as he was about to shake her off she kissed him again and he could not resist kissing back those invitingly warm and full lips. Annie broke free from the kiss after a while and smiled at him under half-closed eyes, her hands beginning to wander over his body.  
"Annie…" he began and she chuckled.  
„What? Playing gentleman and monk all in one go? Be serious, Jack." Her left hand stopped somewhat below his belt and he had to close his eyes. „What's the matter? And is she really worth it you giving up piracy, yer freedom and me?" Yet she chuckled and let her hands work their magic, weakening Jack's resolves with ever passing heartbeat.

„Annie…", he said again, still unable to open his eyes as she started to plant gentle kisses along his neck. „Aye, I know. I'm a whore and never been anything else. She must be a queen of a woman if ye do that and she'll have ye, to boot."  
"She is", Jack muttered, trying to resist her lips and fingers and gently closed his hands around her hips, intending to shove her away.  
„But tell me", Annie breathed into his ear. „Don't ye want to be with her feeling a little more relaxed?" She leaned back and looked at him, and her left hand was still resting on his crotch, her long and strong fingers continuing what she was doing.  
„That meaning?"  
„Don't fool me, Jack. I've seen and felt many a sailor in me years to know a man what's been on sea and alone but for himself for a long, long time. And ye know, I knew the decent lads from those who weren't, ye see. The decent ones came to my place, or one like it, to have the barnacles scraped off their rudder before seeing their sweetheart. For ye surely must know, after such long a time it's hard for a man to restrain himself, ain't?"  
All the while, her hand had busied itself with his fly and now wandered inside his trousers. Jack closed his eyes and tried to take a step back. „Do ye really want to go to her reeking of lust and like an animal and not able to hold yerself back, Jack? I don't think so."

And despite himself, Jack felt a smile spread on his lips. He wasn't married yet, so he wasn't really breaking any promises and Annie was right, after all… when he finally would be able to lay down beside Elizabeth, he wanted to be able to savour the moment. He was sure she would forgive him, eventually. But now, he gave in to the urge and Annie's cunning lips and fingers and pulled her close. Because what he was, still and for a little while yet, was a pirate.


	27. Chapter 27

Insert standard disclaimer here.

For those who don't know yet: The albatross is indeed considered a bird of bad luck, and not only by superstitious seamen. Honestly, I didn't even think of this as I started my story, the name was just there and only much later did I learn the meaning of the albatross.

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**Chapter 27**

The days seemed to blur into each other for the next two weeks and it was not before Garbutt told Elizabeth it was now almost three weeks since Jack had sailed off that she realised how much time had passed. It was as well that she had thought up a story to make no one wonder why they were still staying at this inn, which was that they were waiting for her daughter's fiancée to pick her up and bring her to Barbados to be married. And now he didn't come, leaving her and her mother worry and fear for his safety.  
It helped, it made people feel sympathetic for them and friendly disposed, as well. And it was perfectly plausible, to boot. All in all, they were able to make it seem as if Imogen had fallen for a fraud who had proposed and now left her in deep sorrow and… distress.

So no one wondered why Imogen stayed in her room all the time, being so sickly and a woman scorned, on top of it, and Elizabeth had, unquestioned, taken on the habit of walking down to the harbour every late afternoon.

As she walked there today, with Imogen at her side who had left the inn for the first time in all those days, they both were talking about that any day now, Jack should be back.  
They did not walk down to the pier itself today, as a couple of days ago, for reasons Elizabeth did not know, guards had been stationed across the harbour and along the pier as if the governor of Curaçao was awaiting an attack… or an uninvited guest. Understandably, that made her worry quite a lot about Jack's safety once he would hit Curaçao's harbour again and she wondered more than once if he had been recognised and been given away.

Yet there was no way to get a message through to him to steer clear of Curaçao and meet them somewhere else, so she could do nothing but watch and wait. As if she had not done so enough to last the rest of her life, she thought with a sigh as she watched the sun hang low above the horizon, illuminating the harbour and all the ships in golden light and casting the long shadows of masts and bowsprits on the quay.

Feeling Imogen beside her stiffen, Elizabeth looked over and to her surprise, Imogen slipped an arm through hers and leaned against her for a second. She cast a glance over her shoulder, but Bill and Garbutt were still standing behind them.  
„There's a ship coming in", Imogen whispered, and Elizabeth followed her gaze and narrowed her eyes.  
Both women stared across the bay at the horizon where the sails of a ship had come into sight. Leaning gracefully into the wind, she crossed the bay and slowly grew larger until Elizabeth was able to make out the sails and the hull. It was no war ship, to judge by the sleek hull, and Elizabeth strained her eyes to be able to make out more details. "Could it be him?"  
„Depends on which ‚him' you're referring to", Imogen replied with a strangely toneless voice. „That's not the Pearl, Elizabeth. It's the Albatross."

Elizabeth turned her head to look at Imogen, but she just stared straight ahead and swallowed. „Aye, that's me ship", she murmured. „"That's the Albatross, and almost two weeks earlier than we had expected her. Damn it all to hell, where is Jack?"

A good question, indeed. Where was Jack? He should be here any day, but it seemed like he might be too late. What if the Albatross would set sail again before he was back?

With the shadows on the quay slowly growing longer, they both watched the Albatross pull in and drop her anchor and only then did they realise that the soldiers that were guarding the harbour had suddenly awoken into action. A group of twelve approached the ship, halting on the pier, and six of them boarded the Albatross in a slightly aggressive manner, bayonets extended before them. Elizabeth squeezed Imogen's arm and felt her grow taut and hold her breath.

A severe commotion took place on board of the Albatross, they could hear men shouting, the soldiers bellowing orders and then, at last, a single shot cracking through the silent afternoon air like a whiplash. Several other groups of soldiers that had been spread out across the harbour now broke into motion and ran towards the Albatross to take up positions around her.  
Commands and orders were yelled in dutch, so neither Elizabeth nor Imogen could understand what was said, but after a while, another shot fell. All was silent afterwards and some time later, the six men who had boarded the Albatross walked down the plank again, two of them dragging a small and blonde, bearded man between them, shackled in chains. He must have been arrested as a pirate, Elizabeth thought and shot Imogen a glance.

Imogen stared straight at the man and swallowed, all the colour had suddenly drained from her face and Elizabeth felt the grip tighten on her arm. Slightly alarmed, she turned her head again to see Imogen shake her head.  
"I know him, curse the day he was born, I know the damn bastard…"  
"Imogen?"  
"Tortuga", she replied tonelessly. „I've met the bastard in Tortuga and played some games of card with him. He knows me, damn it all to hell…"  
„Let's go", Elizabeth whispered and tugged at her arm. Shaking her head and trying to get her grips on her again, Imogen followed the tug on her arm, but at this moment the soldiers, and van der Vegt with them, had reached the end of the pier and were walking straight into their direction. Elizabeth and Imogen hastily stepped aside as the soldiers passed them by, but suddenly, van der Vegt lifted his head to look at the women he passed and his eyes widened.

Elizabeth saw this. „Faint, for god's sake", she hissed into Imogen's ear and Imogen felt it all too easy to obey. With a groan and fluttering eyelids, she crumpled to the ground in a heap of skirts and sprawled limbs, but her heart was thundering inside her chest even as Bill and Garbutt came running over to pick her up. Van der Vegt had looked straight into her eyes, and she could not imagine he had not recognised her.

He had lost a game of cards against her and in Tortuga, almost everyone there knew who she was. Who she really was. And logically, whose daughter she was. And now he was being arrested as a pirate, accused of piracy by a merchant walking Curaçao's streets who wasn't here any more, and here she was, the daughter of a pirate, as everyone knew who had ever spent some time in Tortuga. Like van der Vegt had.

All the way back to the inn, being carried in Bill's arms, Imogen cursed herself for having left the bed. Had she stayed there like the ill and sickly daughter she was supposed to be, this wouldn't have happened. But now there was a man accused of piracy and facing the gallows who had recognised her and doubtlessly would try to use that piece of information for his advantage. She couldn't even blame him for it, she'd have done exactly the same.

But even so, it left her and Elizabeth and even the two men in a perilous situation. Because the question remained whose truth would prevail; van der Vegt's, who was seemingly a known man in Curaçao and a member of society, or Jack's – McGuyre's – , whom nobody here knew?

As Bill laid her down onto her bed and left the room for Elizabeth to fuss about her, both women knew that even if Jack would show up tomorrow or in two hours, he might yet be too late. If van der Vegt really had recognised Imogen and would indeed be able to make the officials believe him, then not only was Imogen damned but all those with her, as well.

And him not being believed was too feeble a hope for them to rely on. Yet what other hope there was, they both could not say.

x x x x x x x x

Their worst fears came true two days later, in the form of a group of soldiers entering the taproom of the inn. Elizabeth was just about to pick up a plate of food from the kitchen to bring it upstairs for Imogen to have breakfast when they came, and seeing them, she felt her heart freeze to ice. A gentleman in his thirties, to judge by his face, wearing a powdered wig and clad in fine clothes, stepped free from the ranks and looked Elizabeth over with a bow of his head. „Madam", he said. „I am terribly sorry to pose any inconvenience on you."

Being rigid with fear, Elizabeth had to concentrate to understand him, her fingers grabbing the edge of the plate so hard her knuckles went white. Yet she managed to smile politely, a skill she had developed when she had been reintroduced to Port Royal's society and had been faced with a lot of people who had considered her a woman no better than a pirate's whore but were, by standards, forced to treat her like the lady of breeding she had been to begin with. Even though, her voice didn't obey her as easily as her face did and shook slightly when she spoke. „Sir?"

„Lucas van Huuiten, at your service", he said and bowed. „Governor of Curaçao by the grace of Stadtholder Wilhelmus III van Nassauen-Oranje. It does deeply distress me to pass this on, but a terrible accusation has been made against you and your daughter. I know that these horrendous claims will surely lead to nothing, yet the law must be heeded and as reluctant as I am to follow my duties in this case, assured everything will be a terrible misunderstanding, I still need to question you and your daughter regarding these claims. Please be so kind as to bring her down."

"My daughter…", Elizabeth said as calmly as she could. „… is ill and bedridden. She is very weak and I ask you not to distress her."  
"I am sorry to hear that, madam", the governor replied gently. „But I have my duties. I promise not to take any more of her time than absolutely necessary. But I also assure you, and ask you to believe me, that this is a matter of utmost importance."  
"For god's sake, can you not leave her in peace? She has had a hard time enough of it already, why does she have to go through more?"  
"Madam, I will own that I do understand your distress", the governor said with a mournful face. „And I also beg your and, in advance, your daughter's forgiveness. Only a few words, as I am sure no more will be needed to clear up this most unlucky affair."

Looking into his unmoving face and unreadable eyes, Elizabeth knew she had lost. She could try and remain on her position and the soldiers would carry Imogen, and likely her as well, away to prison, or she could lead them upstairs and pray they might be able to convince them that whatever the accusations were, they were just two harmless women.  
„Very well. On your head be it, governor, if any more harm befalls her", Elizabeth said coldly and walked off.  
"On my head alone, madam, any may god forgive me for doing my duty and doing harm the same time."

Shaking her head and trying to swallow her fear, Elizabeth led the governor, followed by his soldiers, to Imogen's room. „I need to prepare her for this…", she began, but the governor shook his head.  
"I am afraid she will have to do without preparation, madam. I am sure you will agree that the sooner this will be over, the better for all of us."  
Elizabeth swallowed. „Please, can I at least ask you to step gently? She might be asleep. You are entering a lady's bedroom, after all.  
„After you, madam", was all the governor said.  
Elizabeth cautiously opened the door but found Imogen awake, sitting in the bed. So she had heard the voices and knew what was about to happen.

Elizabeth wondered briefly if Imogen was as apt at lying and fooling people as her father was, but that was likely the case. She had no doubt that with a second of warning, Imogen could fool the devil, but that might only be true if she wasn't tortured by what she had gone trough the last weeks. She might be able to handle this, but then again, she might not. Her paleness bespoke of itself.

And she? She could lie like an old hag selling rotten cabbages, Elizabeth knew that much. But right now fear seemed to have taken her over, and while she could lie and fool well enough, never before had her life depended on it. She slowly put the plate down on a sideboard at the other end of the room as she watched van Huuiten stop beside Imogen's bed. Imogen tried to smile up at him and asked in a weak and trembling voice „What can I do for you, sir?"  
The governor didn't even twitch an eyebrow. "I have some questions for you, mademoiselle", he said, a polite smile on his face.

x x x x x x x x

The wig would be his ruin and his curse, he knew it. Holding the hated object in his hands, Jack stared at his image in the mirror and, shaking his head, he could no longer deny that if he really wanted go go down that road all the way, his ship wasn't the only thing that needed a makeover. Turning his head this way and that, he asked himself for the umpteenth time if he really would be able to do it, but so far, he had always been able to delay the answer.

With a shrug, he started to gather his mane of braids and dreadlocks up into a net that compressed them just about enough for him to squeeze the wig on top. Tucking a few loose strands away he turned his head again, making sure that all of his hair was covered and then slowly got up, reached for his cane and checked the bandage on his wrist again. Another problem where he had found no passable solution yet.

He shot another look at the mirror. There had been a time when he had enjoyed this dressing up and fooling people, but now he had reached a point where it had become a necessity. And thus, a major nuisance. With a sigh, he wrenched his eyes away from the mirror and left the cabin.

All hands were on deck and Jack stepped calmly through the milling hussle of seamen to watch Curaçao's harbour emerge out of the fog before him. The whole journey to Barbados and back had taken him a few days longer than anticipated, due to unlucky winds on their way back, but all in all, he was roughly on schedule and was in a good mood. By now, the rumours he had sown should have sprouted a rich harvest, and whenever van der Vegt would hit the harbour again, Jack was sure he wouldn't make it as far as the first bar before being arrested. All it then would take was a little conviction on his side that this pirate had been responsible for a severe loss on his side, thus enabling him to claim the ship as a repayment, and all of them could be on their way out of here within a few days.

Resting his hand on the railing before him, Jack let his eyes wander across the pier and quay when he suddenly spotted a familiar ship. It took no more than a second to recognise her and his hand tightened around the railing. The Albatross was here. Van der Vegt had returned before him.

This ship was beginning to annoy him. Whatever seaman had chosen to give his ship the name of a bird of bad luck had either had a really bad sense of humour or a touch of the second sight.

Jack took a deep breath. This might mean he had to change plans a bit, and it might mean he had to think of something very quickly. Pursing his lips, he watched the Albatross rock on the surf, a couple of seagulls floating on the waves around her like tiny ducklings.

„Capt'n?", a voice behind him sounded and Jack turned to find Marty stand behind him, forefinger extended into the direction of the quay. He looked into the direction Marty pointed and, with a cold hand suddenly gripping for his guts, he realised that he would have to think very, very quickly. A group of soldiers was waiting at the pier, and they were waiting for him. Keeping his countenance and his face, Jack slowly walked down the plank, flourishing his walking cane, and let his eyes wander over the row of four soldiers.

„Gentlemen?", he asked, and one of them stepped forward.  
„Captain McGuyre?"  
"The very same, at your service."  
The soldier shortly bowed his head. „Captain McGuyre, the governor requests your presence in his office."  
„Well, I will be happy to oblige as soon as I…", Jack began, but the soldier cut him short.  
"Immediately, sir. Those were his exact words."  
"Well, far be it from me to upset the governor", Jack muttered and bowed his head. „My business will just have to wait, then."  
„I am sure the governor will appreciate your cooperation, Captain." The soldier bowed his head again and Jack followed him down the pier, flanked by two of the other soldiers and followed by the third.

x x x x x x x x

Things didn't seem too bad, Jack thought as the servant now opened the large wooden door to the governor's office. He hadn't been threatened, he hadn't been arrested, even, and thus he hadn't been shackled and had been treated with utmost politeness and respect, as far as common soldiers were able of that. He stepped through the door and the servant silently closed it behind him.

At the other end of the room, under two large windows, stood a large, wooden desk covered in neat stacks of paper, and at this desk sat a man whom Jack judged to be his junior by about two decades. Well, maybe he could outwit the youngster, he thought, but reminded himself to stay on his toes. The man looked up from his paperwork and smiled politely. "Ah, Captain McGuyre, welcome to my office." He got up and met Jack on the way. „Lucas van Huuiten, governor of Curaçao, at your service. Please, take a seat, Captain."

Jack sat down and watched van Huuiten sit down in his chair again where he sorted out a few bits of paper before looking up at him again.  
"Now, Captain, I am sure you wonder why this unfortunate incident happened, but if you let me explain, I hope I will find you understanding." He looked expectantly at Jack.  
"By all means, go on", Jack replied with a wave of his hand.  
„Thank you, Captain. I will keep it brief, as, I may assure you, is befitting for such unlucky an affair as this." He shuffled through a couple of papers and pulled out a sheet with raised eyebrows. „Ah, here we are. You see, almost two weeks ago a ship docked in Curaçao that had been identified as the Albatross, not listed in any dutch harbour but with a dutch captain, his name being Martin van der Vegt."

Here the governor made a pause and looked up at Jack who just pursed his lips and folded his hands. „I'm all ears, Mr van Huuiten."  
Van Huuiten smiled. „I am sure you are." He looked at his paper again. „So, this specimen, Martin van der Vegt, is an accused pirate. And to be frank, I heard a lot about him before that and with his reputation, it does hardly come as a surprise. However, circumstances being as they are…"

He furrowed his brow without looking up, and Jack wondered what he was on about. Van Huuiten looked up at him again and shook his head. „You see, this is all very unfortunate, but I have my duties, and the law is the law. The pirate van der Vegt has given testimony and while I strongly doubt his words, I have to investigate the matter, nonetheless. For this pirate claimed he had recognised a person in the harbour of Curaçao as a close relative, in fact, daughter, to a pirate that is one of the most wanted across the Caribbean, if not all seven seas. Jack Sparrow."

He looked up from his paper but Jack Sparrow wouldn't be Jack Sparrow if he couldn't call a perfect poker face his own. He just lifted his brows. „I heard he was hanged in Port Royal", Jack said and van Huuiten picked up another piece of paper. „So did I, Mr McGuyre, so did I. However, I found a source of information, among the many that I can draw from, that told me he was seen in Tortuga less than two months ago."  
„Was he?" Jack asked and looked van Huuiten straight in the face. The governor smiled thinly. „It sounds rather unbelievable, what with a crowd of people and the governor of Port Royal having watched him hang, but they say that you can not kill a man like him with a rope. It sounds a bit vainglorious, does it not, Mr. McGuyre?"  
Jack pursed his lips. „It does. But then, other stories about him include him escaping from an island with the help of two sea turtles tied to his feet." He lifted his brows to indicate the absolute ridicule for a story such as this. The governor twitched a corner of his mouth.

„I can not seem to make head or tail of this, honestly", van Huuiten went on. „He was hanged, and yet he was seen in Tortuga weeks later. Yet, by the way that man has escaped authorities for the last twenty years, I'd dare say that if there is a way to survive being hanged, then he would be the man to try and succeed. Some say even he has made a pact with the devil." Van Huuiten looked up and Jack tilted his head. „Why are you telling me this, Mr van Huuiten? I am sure you did not summon me here to chat about some rumours regarding dead pirates."

The governor looked up with a sour smile. „In fact, I have, Mr McGuyre. You see, van der Vegt swore that the woman he saw in the harbour of Curaçao is the daughter of Jack Sparrow. So I had to find the lady in question and try to erase this horrendous claim. However, the lady in question is quite weak and her mother was not very cooperative, although I must admit it could well be she was afraid and more worried about her daughter than anything else. They were passengers on your ship, Captain, by the way. Now what was her name again…"  
He started shuffling through his papers and looked at Jack as if asking him to help him through this embarrassing moment by enlightening him about the name of the ladies that had just about escaped his memory in a shameful fit of forgetfulness.

Jack blinked only once. She wouldn't be Elizabeth Turner, for even if it could be easily proven she was whom she claimed to be, it was as easily proven that the widow Turner had no daughter. So she must have chosen another name… only which one?  
_Well, got yersel' in a bit of trouble there, cap'n,_ he suddenly heard the voice of Joshamee Gibbs in his head, his old and best friend and former first mate, resting in his sailor's grave now for more than a decade since. Yet Jack almost grinned. The most annoying thing about the man had been that he had tended to be right. Even after he was dead.  
_God, Gibbs, old friend, wherever ye are, if ye hear me, I beg ye to hold a hand over me ladies,_ he send a thought to his dead friend. _I seem to be out of the picture any moment.  
_„Gibbs", he said.

„Ah, of course", van Huuiten replied, a slight look of dismay flitting across his face for a second. „Elizabeth and Imogen Gibbs, coming here from Port Royal for the mademoiselle's betrothed to pick her up, bring her to Barbados and marry her. Tragic, Mr McGuyre, for the young man never showed up and left them in distress. Is it not?"  
"Absolutely", Jack said, feeling his racing heartbeat slowly calm down. „No honour any more in young men today, if you ask me."  
Van Huuiten looked at his paper and, with a sigh, picked up another piece, seemingly at random, to glance at it. It was covered in very tight and neat script.  
„And so, after enquiring about the accused ladies' identities, I was still left with nothing, Mr McGuyre. Madame Gibbs claims having arrived here from England only a short time ago, so there will likely be no one in Port Royal to stand in for her and prove her identity. A distressing situation, is it not?"  
"Indeed", Jack replied. Was that all? Was that the reason he had been summoned here? But things were never quite that easy and he didn't trust van Huuiten, so he said no more and waited for the governor to speak again.

He looked up again at Jack, and suddenly, van Huuiten's eyes narrowed and his voice grew colder by a few degrees. „I am still waiting for a confirmation of the identity of these ladies. And in the meantime, I am having the inn observed by my men to make sure nothing happens to the ladies, rest assured of that." He looked at his paper again and sighed. „I have so much on my mind and so little time… sometimes I have to force myself not to jump to hasty conclusions."

He fell silent again for quite a while, shuffling and sorting through papers until he found the one he seemed to have been looking for. „You see, Mr McGuyre…", he said without looking up, „…to accuse someone of piracy is nothing to be taken lightly. Anyone associated with piracy faces a death warrant. That is the reason why I delve into this special case; and while I will not bring any more distress on the ladies unless my belief in their innocence is shattered, I do not wish to execute an innocent man, nor do I wish to let a convicted pirate escape."  
Jack managed not to blink as van Huuiten shot him a glance. „There should be more men around like you, Mr van Huuiten, who take their duties as serious as you do", he said, folding his hands on the knob of his cane.

Van Huuiten smiled slightly. "It would be really interesting to see what would happen if it turns out that the lady in question is, indeed, whom she is accused to be, is it not, Captain?", the governor went on after a pause with an amiable smile on his lips before looking down at his papers again. „But do you know what is even more interesting? After having spoken to her, I find your own looks oddly familiar. To be perfectly honest, I could even go so far as to call it a striking resemblance." Van Huuiten flicked a glance at Jack's left hand before looking down at his papers again.

Jack frantically tried to think of something to say and, for the first time in years, he failed. Then a movement at the edge of his vision caught his attention and he turned his head, looking out of the window beside the governor's desk. Outside, iluminated by the light of a setting sun, Jack saw the dark outline of a gallow looming in the golden light of dusk, the nooze gently swinging in the evening breeze. Feeling his mouth go slightly dry, he swallowed. „What a strange coincidence", he said in a low voice.

When he turned his gaze back to van Huuiten, he found the dutchman looking at him with a polite smile on his face. „Let me venture a wild guess, Mr … McGuyre", he said and flicked a glance out of the window before he looked at Jack again. „You haven't hurt your wrist."


	28. Chapter 28

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Sorry about the cliff-hanger there, but I just couldn't resist producing one of those, for a change. All still alive? On we go. From the frying pan…

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**Chapter 28**

Feeling the noose tighten around his neck, Jack stared at the governor with a blank face, keeping his eyes steady and his breathing slow. Van Huuiten raised his eyebrows ever so slightly and looked back at his paperwork. Another moment passed in which Jack forced himself not to look out of the window again.

„Mr McGuyre", van Huuiten began with a polite smile without taking the eyes of his current sheet of paper. „During the last couple of weeks, I have not been idle and have gathered quite some information from different sources, and believe me, I have rather a lot of them." He put the paper down and picked up another. "You see, we have to take all the necessary precautions. The dutch empire is, compared to the british or spanish, rather small. We are a nation of merchants, not warriors, Captain. So we can not rely on our strength and have to fall back on pacts, contracts and intelligence. And while my different sources of intelligence tell me different things, here, on my desk, the pieces I gather suddenly form into a picture." He looked up at Jack. „A rather disturbing picture."

„Governor van Huuiten", Jack said, leaning back in his chair. „If you require my assistance, I can assure you, you shall have it, in whatever way, although I am just a merchant with a single ship at my disposal." If van Huuiten already knew who he was, then he wanted something of him, otherwise he'd been shackled long since. But what could it be that this double-crossing bastard wanted of the likes as himself?  
"I am honoured, Captain", van Huuiten replied, looking at his paper again. „I might not need your service, but I do need a word of advice." He picked up his quill and signed whatever document it was he was looking at.

„Let me enlighten you", van Huuiten said, not taking his eyes of the newly signed document. „As I have already informed you, a lady currently residing in my city has been accused of being in lieu with a wanted pirate. This pirate is supposed to be dead, killed by a noose, in fact. Yet this pirate was seen after his… alleged death, two times to be precise, walking the streets of Tortuga in best health and spirits. So either Jack Sparrow wasn't hanged and they mistook someone else for him, or that villain has means to escape the gallows that no mortal should possess. Either way, let us assume, for the sake of argument, of course, that Jack Sparrow is still alive."  
„For the sake of argument", Jack said with a flick of his hand, smiling slightly as if this idea was too silly for him to ponder. He didn't bother to hide his left wrist any more, however.  
„For the sake of argument", van Huuiten said. „So he still cruises the Caribbean. And now, let us assume, for the sake of argument, of course, that the lady in question is, indeed, his daughter." He dropped the piece of paper that had occupied his attention for so long and reached for another. He dipped the quill into the ink again and flicked his eyes over the document.

„Van der Vegt said that he had taken the Albatross because he knew she was a pirate ship, and he swore he had meant to register her here, in Curaçao, as soon as he was back with his load of Tobacco from New Amsterdam. Unfortunately, these words can not be proven right or wrong any more since he was arrested upon dropping anchor, so we won't know if he spoke the truth or not. That's as may be, he also claimed that the captain of the Albatross was referred to by her crew as Captain Sparrow." He narrowed his brows as he read a sentence and let his quill hover above the paper. „Captain Sparrow", van Huuiten repeated. „And van der Vegt said he meant to inform authorities in Curaçao of the Captain's whereabouts since he…" he crossed a word out in the text and scribbled another one above it. „…since she would be meeting the crew in Tortuga again."

Van Huuiten looked at Jack again. „Were it any other than the offspring of Jack Sparrow we are talking about, I'd have put this aside as ridiculous. A female captain. Not even pirates could put up with that, I am sure. Things being as they are, however…"  
„Thing being as they are…", Jack finished the sentence for him, closing his fingers around the knob of his cane to keep his posture, „…you are inclined to believe that there is a woman captaining a pirate ship?"  
„I may have to, for I see no reason to doubt my sources, captain. Not if there are several of them independently telling me the same thing. And now, tell me, Mr McGuyre", he added, looking at his documents again. „Tell me what to make of the coincidence that I find an alleged pirate captain in my city spreading rumours of piracy about one of my citizens the same moment of the clock aforementioned citizen overtook his… her ship?" He looked up again. „Or I might be mistaken and it was not her who spread these rumours but someone else, since the lady in question is rather ill, as I was informed. As I saw with my own two eyes, in fact. And since she seems to be the daughter of a pirate, why not her father, coming to help his beloved offspring to get her hands back on her ship?"

„Touching." Van Huuiten shook his head. „That I have to see this happening in my own city, pirates sneaking in under my nose… and now I am faced with two courses of action, captain." He rested his eyes on Jack, giving him a long, evaluating, considering look. Jack lifted his brows as if in mild interest. „One is to refuse to believe a convicted pirate", van Huuiten said smoothly and made a small pause before going on, and Jack had to summon all his strength of will to remain slightly puzzled and mildly interested. „An easy way to go, since I had his ship searched and found this atrocity that… now what do the Englishmen call it… the Happy Patrick?"

Jack bloody well knew that he was supposed to say this and he bloody well knew he was being baited, but he just couldn't help himself. „Jolly Roger."

„Ah, how silly of me, of course. So we found the… the pirate flag hidden in a wooden compartment behind some barrels. No mistake about the Albatross being used as a pirate ship, then. And van der Vegt her captain."  
„It certainly looks that way", Jack said brightly. „So he should have his neck stretched a bit more than is healthy for him, in any case."  
„Oh, no mistake about this, either", van Huuiten said. „The punishment for piracy is death, as you might well be aware of."  
"Who isn't", Jack said with a smile. „And rightly so."  
„Ah, but then, you might not be aware of the fact that times have changed, captain. At least here in Curaçao, we do go with the times. We don't hang pirates any more. We shoot them."

Jack's smile slowly died as van Huuiten gave him a long and disturbingly knowing look. „Ah, I see you weren't aware of that. Now, wouldn't it be interesting to see how a Captain Jack Sparrow, having escaped the gallows, would escape a bullet in the back of his head"?  
„That would be interesting, indeed", Jack replied, forcing himself not to grit his teeth. Van Huuiten smiled. „Quite", he said and was silent for a while, shuffling his papers, as if meaning to give Jack some time to contemplate this latest bit of information.

„And now, captain, I go on about the second way of action open to me", the governor went on after some moments. „Which is, and I honestly admit I feel a lot more at ease about this particular course, not to believe the villain who had the nerves to come into Curaçao's harbour with a pirate flag hidden on his ship." He picked up another sheet of paper that bore a large and official seal at the bottom. He signed it with a flourish and put it aside, then took another one that looked similar and bore the same seal. He narrowed his eyes, wrote something below the main text and tilted his head, scribbling something else.

The scratching of the quill on the parchment seemed to graze Jack's nerves like shards of glass. He knew without looking that at least one of these documents was a death warrant, but the writing was too small for him to be able to read it upside down.

„Because believing van der Vegt would leave me with the prospect of having yet another pirate in my harbour", van Huuiten went on after putting down the quill. „But you see, I am not a man to miss a chance."  
Jack swallowed and tilted his head. „Mr van Huuiten", he ventured. „I am sure you did not steal your time, as I myself haven't, either. If you have summoned me here for advice, I would like to give it to you and be on my way again."  
„Oh, I don't doubt you would and I shall not keep you longer than necessary", van Huuiten said with a polite smile. „So, after deciding that van der Vegt is a pirate and is going to be executed, I have come to yet another crossroad of decisions. Do you remember the disturbing picture I talked about earlier?"  
Jack nodded. „Are you still missing a piece, then?"  
"No, I seem not to", the governor gave back. „I just feel reluctant to put them together because I am afraid I will not like what I am going to see. But maybe I'm mistaken?"

He picked up another piece of paper that was covered in a lot of different notes and numbers. „Piece one: Jack Sparrow is not dead. Piece two: He has a daughter who is a pirate captain in her own rights." He leaned back and seemed to enjoy himself. Jack sincerely wished for the governor's wig to explode, but the only thing that felt like exploding was his own head.

„Piece three", van Huuiten went on. „The Albatross is sailing under a Captain Sparrow. I think I can safely assume it is the daughter, not the father, since he is known to command a ship called the Black Pearl. Piece four, and now I start speculating: The lady in question has come to Curaçao in pursuit of her ship and is now residing at ‚Wilhelms Gulden'. Piece five: Her father has accompanied her to help her achieve this goal, and has done so incognito, in disguise, as you might say. Do you have anything to say so far, Mr… McGuyre?"  
Jack leaned back and crossed his arms, slowly pursing his lips. All of a sudden, he felt tired of the game and decided he wasn't going to dance along to van Huuiten's tunes any longer. „Mr van Huuiten", he said in a low voice. „What do you want of me?"

Van Huuiten leaned forward, staring into Jack's eyes. „I want your cooperation, captain. As I mentioned earlier, the hold of Wilhelm onto his colonies in the new world is comparatively weak. And what we cannot afford, captain, is loosing our only means to secure this grip, which is our merchandise, to pirates." And with these words, he handed Jack the first document he had signed next to the large official seal.  
Jack stared at it, read it, read it again and then slowly looked up at van Huuiten. "What is this?", he asked, although he perfectly well knew.  
Van Huuiten smiled. "This, captain, is a letter of marque. And I am sure you are aware that I will only offer this once. The conditions are very simple. I will hand over the Albatross and I will have her refitted and armed, not touching the load of tobacco she is still carrying. The bearer of this document, in turn, will sail under the dutch flag and not attack any dutch ships nor those of our allies, yet still be allowed to merrily plunder ships of other nationalities. The bearer of this document will, as well, see that his wares are being shipped to Curaçao where he will receive a price for his goods that is satisfactorily for both sides."

Jack looked at the letter again, trying to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth.

"And, I can assure you, there are possibilities for a wealthy merchant to rise in Curaçao's society", van Huuiten went on. „If the bearer of this document satisfactorily fulfils his end of the bargain, the dutch government will show themselves grateful. Back in Europe, I have seen men rise to the ranks of a duke for… taking care of our competitors' businesses." Van Huuiten slowly crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. „The only drawback, of course, is that should he get captured, the dutch authorities will never have heard his name nor seen his face, as you may well understand. Politics is a game of very sensitive balances as I am sure you are aware, captain."

Jack swallowed again and stared at the document before him, knowing he had lost. During the whole conversation van Huuiten had had the better of him, had remained ahead of him, and he was now left in no position to be able to refuse.  
So much for his glorious plans of retirement. Once a pirate, forever a pirate. Jack stared at his left hand for a second and then slowly put the letter on the table before him.

"I am going to be frank", van Huuiten said, all politeness and friendliness vanished from his voice. „I will have this letter back in two weeks, when the Albatross is ready to set sail again, and it will be signed by Captain Sparrow. Let that suffice for now. I bid you a good day."

Beaten and with the only other option left to him being his death, Jack slowly got up and stowed the letter away in his pocket. He tried to take some comfort from the fact that Imogen would have her ship back, but otherwise, all that was left now was to tell Elizabeth he couldn't stay with her and would have to remain a pirate. That, and pick up the pieces afterwards. Maybe he could just take care of the problem by putting a bullet in his head himself. „A good day, Mr van Huuiten", he said slowly and picked up his cane.

The governor busied himself with his papers again as Jack rose to leave, yet before his hand touched the doorknob, van Huuiten called out to him. „Captain McGuyre."

Jack turned around again but the governor didn't look up from his papers. „I hope your wrist gets better", van Huuiten said politely and Jack resisted the urge to slam the door shut behind him as he left the office, the letter in his pocket weighing him down with the weight of a dozen cannonballs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

_Do you hate van Huuiten yet? Don't. I love him. He's incredible fun to write._


	29. Chapter 29

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Yes, Imogen is a hothead. No, I don't make her do all these things. She does them herself, I just write them up after she does them in my head. Nothing is my fault whatsoever.

And please… don't kill me.

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**Chapter 29**

Once a pirate, forever a pirate. Once a pirate, forever a pirate. With every heavy, limping step, Jack thought this one sentence with a grim face, determined not to let himself be dragged down and swept away by the events he had been caught in like a hedgehog in a flash flood.

Once a pirate, forever a pirate.

Had he really thought he could leave this life behind that easily? Shed it like a snake sheds its old and outgrown skin? And now he was not only forced to remain a pirate which in itself was not the worst bit, but he also was forced to live in another man's service. This was the worst bit. Not being his own any more. Loosing his freedom.

As he saw the inn come into sight where he had left his ladies, he thought again that maybe the easiest way out for all of them was to indeed put a bullet in his head. Get Imogen the Albatross back, get Elizabeth back to Port Royal, then find a nice and hidden spot of solitude, have a last bottle of good rum and one last bullet.

He was tired, by god, he was so tired, and every bone in his body felt like cast from lead. His leg hurt more than it ever had before, and Jack had to force himself not to grimace in pain with every step. Ever since that cursed and thrice cursed hound Barbossa had captured his daughter, he had been trapped in a maelstrom of feelings and pain he had been hardly able to deal with. By now, the last kick he had received had brought him stumbling closer to the edge than he had ever been before. He suddenly was sick of it all and wanted to get drunk, to never awake again. He slowly mounted the steps to the inn, wearing his dark and dreadful thoughts like a cloak.

He spotted Elizabeth sitting in the taproom the moment he stepped in and was seriously tempted for a few seconds to just walk out again to never lay his eyes on her again. But she had heard the door and turned her head, and the way her face lightened up as if a ray of sunshine had fallen right through the wall to illuminate it made him smile a little in return, yet she noticed his temper and walked up to him with a frown.

„Captain McGuyre", she said. „How glad am I to see you back again. Any news?"  
„A lot of them, and not all of them pleasant, Madam Gibbs", he said and saw her swallow at him using that name. „I had a conversation with governor van Huuiten today and have learned some very disturbing news there. How is your daughter?"  
„She is well, thank you for asking, captain. If you wish to pay your respects, I am sure she will be delighted. We do not get much visitors, you see."

Jack nodded and Elizabeth followed him upstairs, deeply worried. So he had spoken to van Huuiten, as well, but he had not been arrested and she couldn't think of anything that would have such an effect on him. He looked as if he had aged ten years since his departure.  
„Jack?", she whispered as they had reached the top of the stairs.  
He didn't turn and just shook his head. With a feeling of cold dread gathering in her belly, Elizabeth knocked at Imogen's door and stepped through to announce the visitor.

Jack stepped in and slowly closed the door behind him. „I see ye haven't perished or bled to death, darling", he said with a weak smile.  
Imogen raised her brows. „No, and neither have ye been hanged. But what's wrong?"  
Jack slowly sat down onto the bed beside her and took one of Imogen's hands between his, smiling sadly down at her. „Aye, I haven't been hanged. Yet. But only because I've sold meself to the devil again, body and soul, and this time, there'll be no bargaining out of it."  
Imogen narrowed her brows. „Jack, care to tell me…"

"I don't particularly care to tell ye, no", Jack said without looking at her, staring at her hand instead. „But I do, nonetheless. I was summoned to see the governor the moment I stepped on land today, and had a little conversation with him."  
Imogen swallowed. „Van Huuiten? He was here…"  
"Aye, I know. He told me as much." Finally, he looked up and into her eyes. „He knows, Imogen. He knows who I bloody am, and who you are. He knows everything, from the hanging in Port Royal to the stealing of the Albatross. The only thing he hasn't been able to figure out was how I survived that hanging, but that's about it."  
Staring at him open-mouthed, Imogen shook her head. „Jack, for god's sake… but if he does, then why are we still alive?"

Jack turned his head to look at Elizabeth and sighed. „Because he is a man not to miss his chances, that's what he said. We're still alive because he wanted to offer me a deal. And I took it, having not really had a choice in the matter. I sold meself and me ship." He let go of Imogen's hand and slowly got up again. „The Albatross will be ready in two weeks, she's part of the bargain. I'll pick ye up then and we'll be out of here the minute the tides turn. After that…"

He shrugged and walked a few steps towards Elizabeth. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth", he said in a low voice without looking at her. „It probably wasn't meant to be. I can't go to Port Royal with ye." He took one of her hands in his an kissed it. „I guess it was rather stupid to believe I could just stop being a pirate. Had it been only me, I wouldn't have done it, but they don't hang pirates in Curaçao, they shoot them. And I don't want to see either of you being shot, so I couldn't do anything else. I'm sorry. I'll see ye in two weeks."

With that, his voice already hoarse with sorrow, he hastily left the room, almost slamming the door shut behind him, leaving Imogen and Elizabeth stare at the door with wide eyes. They exchanged a glance, Imogen shrugged helplessly and Elizabeth shook her head, but both of them had no idea what was going on or what could have happened to Jack that had toppled him over like that.

x x x x x x x x

As it was, neither Elizabeth nor Imogen saw a hair of him or heard a word until the mentioned two weeks were over. He was sitting in the taproom of the inn that morning, as if nothing had happened, all groomed and freshly shaven as he watched his two men carry the ladies' baggage downstairs, followed by the ladies themselves.

„And a good morning to you", he said brightly as he got up to greet them. „Perfect sailing weather today, mild steady winds and not a cloud in the sky. We will have an easy journey."  
„Why, that is reassuring", Elizabeth replied and adjusted her scarf. „I'm not particularly fond of ship journeys, as it is."  
Jack bowed with a smile. „I hope this one will prove to be different", he said and picked up his cane with a flourish.  
Watching him, Elizabeth knew it was all facade and no feeling. Yes, he was a Sparrow and could fool the devil, but he couldn't fool her. She saw in his eyes that his heart wasn't in his smile and of course she hadn't forgotten the mood she had seen him in the last time, either.

„How is your health this morning, miss?", he asked Imogen and she, being a Sparrow herself, gave him a brave and weak smile. „Better than lately, Captain, thank you very much. But I must admit at not looking forward to a long journey, either."  
„Which is a shame, since I delight very much on your charming company, and your mother's, of course." He offered her his arm and Imogen curtsied and took it, slipping her arm through the crook of his.

All the way to the harbour Jack and Imogen entertained in meaningless conversation about the weather and how it could affect their journey until they had reached the ship. Not before Bill and Garbutt had stowed the baggage away and Imogen felt safely out of earshot of any dutch soldier that would happen to be nearby, she let go of Jack's arm as soon as they reached his cabin and crossed her arms.

„And now, Jack, care to tell me what this is all about? What happened in the governor's office and where have ye been the last two weeks?"  
Jack lifted one eyebrow and rested his right hand on his cane. „Tortuga", he said. „I've picked up the rest of yer crew."  
Imogen blinked. „Why, thank you, but I thought…"  
"I won't be coming along any more", he said. „As soon as we are safely away from Curaçao, you and Elizabeth will change ships and you will bring her to Port Royal. I will have to go back to Curaçao."  
„Jack", Elizabeth broke in. „Please tell me what you are going on about."

"I can't go to Port Royal", he said again, avoiding her eyes. „It's just not as simple as that, giving up piracy. I was recognised and given away, and I had to sell meself to get my head as well as yours out of the noose."  
„Please explain yourself", Elizabeth said, crossing her arms as well. „I have no clue what…"  
"Ye wouldn't, would ye." Jack ran a hand across his face and then reached into his pocket, bringing forth a document bound in leather. „This is going on, Lizzie."  
„What is this?", she asked and with a heavy sigh, Jack leaned on his cane and gave Imogen and Elizabeth a crop-up of what had happened in the governor's office and of all what had been said.

„A letter of marque", he finished then. „A document that entitles the bearer to piracy. That's why I can't go with ye any more, and that's why I have to go back to Curaçao. Van Huuiten gave me this and said he'll have it back in two weeks, which is today, and it will be signed by Captain Sparrow. I will have to remain a pirate, but I will do so under the commission of the dutch, aye? The Albatross has a dutch flag now beside the Jolly Roger, and I won't be allowed to harm any dutch ships or ships of their allies. And I have to sell all me plunder in Curaçao. Those were his words."

Jack slowly sat down at his table, pushed a few charts aside to clear some space and spread the letter out before him. „That's what is wrong. I've sold meself, and curse the day I was born. If I had wanted to bow my head before any lord, I could've stayed with the East India Trading Company, blast it all to hell."

„Jack", Imogen said as he dipped his quill into the ink. „Hold it for a second, will ye."  
Jack dropped the quill into the ink again and looked up. „Aye?"  
Imogen bit her lip. „He knew who ye are, aye? Ye're pretty well known, as it is, and by now it will also be known that ye're not dead, however that might have happened."  
Jack slowly got up. „And what are ye on about with that?"  
Imogen smiled slightly and crossed her arms. „And yer ship is known, as well. The Jade Star, aye? And back to pirating, will ye remove all the paint and white sails and stuff to turn her back into the Pearl and hope no one recognises her in Curaçao?"

Jack crossed his arms in response and leaned slightly forward. „And what do ye mean to tell me, ye little smart arse? It's not that I have any choice about it, ye know."  
"Smart, am I? Opposed to you, I guess. Ye didn't doubt for one moment van Huuiten was talking about you, were ye?"  
„What?"  
„Ye're known all round, as is yer ship. But the Albatross isn't."  
"So? He's given the ship to me for pirating…"  
„Has he?", Imogen interrupted him. „What were his words, exactly?"

Jack was brought up short and narrowed his eyes. „I will hand over the Albatross and I will have her refitted and armed, not touching the load of tobacco she is still carrying. That were his words."  
„Ah, ye see. He didn't say he was giving her to you."  
„And to whom would he be giving her?"  
"Captain Sparrow", Imogen said with a smirk. „Aye? That's what ye said. He will have the letter back, signed by Captain Sparrow."  
"Aye, that's what he said", Jack said irritatedly. „So what…"  
"There's two of those, ain't?" Imogen's smirk widened into a sneaky grin and Jack stared at her open-mouthed for a moment before snapping his jaws shut with a audible crack of his teeth.

„Aye", Imogen said again. „And he didn't call ye Sparrow once, precisely, didn't he? Ye were McGuyre, even if he let ye know he knew ye aren't, aye?"  
„Imogen", Jack said, narrowing his eyes. „Do ye seriously mean to imply…"  
"Oh, I do, Jack. Don't ye see it? There's no chance with ye not being recognised anywhere on sea, sooner or later someone will. Whereas me, I have barely started my career. And I don't mind whose flag I fly."

Having watched the fuse being lit and now watching the flame reach the barrel of powder, Elizabeth and Bill exchanged a worried glance as Jack took deep breath with trembling nostrils.

"Whose flag ye fly?" Jack almost roared. „Why, ye snapping little bitch, this is piracy we're talking about!"  
Imogen leaned forward, resting her fists on her hips. „Aye, ye old fart, this is piracy! Ye might remember yerself having told me not so long ago how hard business has become! So what's wrong with having one safe harbour where ye can always go provided ye fly the right flag?"  
„What's wrong? What's wrong with that?" Jack dropped his arms and leaned forward as well. „I'll tell ye what's wrong! We're pirates! We're free! We fly no one's flag but our own!"

Elizabeth exchanged a look with Bill who shrugged helplessly. That was a Sparrow-row, well and good, and there was nothing anyone could do about it without endangering their own health and soundness. She slowly took a step back towards the door and opened it, gesturing Bill to leave. He slipped past her, casting a last worried glance at the two Sparrows who, bristling with fury, stared at each other with literally ruffled feathers and glittering eyes. Closing the door behind her from the outside, the two Turners could only shrug helplessly and go on deck, hoping that the two pirates wouldn't harm each other too seriously.

In their fury, neither of the two Sparrows hadn't even noticed their leaving.

„No flag but our own!", Imogen snapped. „So I make the dutch flag me own, what about it?"  
"What about it? Ye're no pirate any more, that's what!"  
"And what is robbing merchant ships and sinking them other than piracy? So I'll be a privateer, a mercenary, maybe, but still a pirate! What better can happen than having a safe port and guaranteed profit?"  
"Because the profit is not…", Jack began, but was brought short when Imogen threw her head back and laughed. „God, Jack, ye're having romantic notions about yer youth, have ye not? The golden times when ye were all free to go wherever ye wanted!"

"And what would ye little snot nose know about it?", Jack snarled back. „About the time when we defeated them all to remain? And what for?" He inhaled deeply. „For those who came after us to sell themselves, not even being overcome in a fight!!", he yelled and Imogen crossed her arms again. "God Jack, be serious!", she yelled back. „Times have changed, aye? There is no free sea any more, it's just war for profit! But I can still be a pirate and live in style without being afraid to be hanged no matter what harbour I steer into!"  
"And what kind of life is that?", Jack leaned forward as well and their noses almost touched now as they shouted at each other, making every man on deck above them cringe and shake their heads. „What kind of life if ye're not yer own?"  
"I'm my own very well enough!" Imogen shook her head with flowing, quivering curls. „I choose where I go and what I do, and do what I like, which is pirating, aye? And in turn, I can go into a safe harbour whenever I want! So where's the problem?"  
"Problem! Where's the problem! Where's yer freedom?"  
„Right where I want it to be!! Why can't ye accept that other people will do things differently from you! Times have changed, for god's sake!"

"Aye", Jack said, suddenly hoarse, and dropped his arms. „Times have changed, well enough."  
Imogen snorted. „Face it, Jack. The world has changed, and your ideals have no room in it anymore. For better or for worse, Jack, the world has changed, and ye would do well to leave it to people whose world it still is." Then she took the letter and patted his arm, her cheeks still flushed with fury. But even so, knowing she had won made her feel charitable. „Sorry, Jack, but that's the way it is. Things change."

Then she left, and Jack slowly sat down in his chair, shaking his head. The world had changed, well enough, and he was no longer part of it. His world didn't exist any more. The times of freedom and the unexplored frontier were over, and the likes of him where nothing more but remnants of times gone by. He reached for the bottle standing next to his charts and looked at it, shrugged, uncorked it and emptied it in one go. Then he slowly got up, bolted his door and went to the chest where he kept his own, personal stock of rum.

x x x x x x x x

Van Huuiten didn't look up when the door to his office opened after his servant had announced a messenger. Listening to the steps coming to halt before his desk he dipped his quill in his ink and signed a document. "A messenger from?"  
„Captain Sparrow."  
Van Huuiten blinked and looked up at the sound of the female voice, taking in the dark breeches made of coarse fabric, the boots, the shirt, vest and hat. Clever enough to fool anyone, until she spoke.  
„A messenger from Captain Sparrow?", van Huuiten said with a tiny smile. „Which one?"  
Imogen smiled sweetly and sat down on van Huuiten's desk, careful not to squash any precious papers. Then she leaned forward to expose her suddenly rather prominent cleavage in the deep cut shirt and took out the letter she had hidden there, exposing yet a bit more skin in the process.

With a tiny feeling of satisfaction, she watched van Huuiten blink before he was able to wrench his eyes away. „I think you want to have this back", she said with a smile and van Huuiten lifted his brows with what seemed to be mild interest. „And I think you might want a countersigned copy, captain", he said, rallying magnificently, and Imogen leaned forward even more. „Indeed I do", she said. „And I hope and trust we will have a rather satisfactorily and beneficial business agreement with each other, Mr van Huuiten."

She took his quill and took the offered document, signed it with a flourish, checked it and placed it where she had kept the first one. „Well, I thank you kindly", she said with a cat-like grin and straightened up again, ‚accidentally' brushing his hand as she slid down from his desk. „I trust we will meet again quite soon, Mr van Huuiten", she said and tipped the brim of her hat.

„A good day to you, captain", said van Huuiten after clearing his throat, picking up a sheet of paper again. „Oh, and by the way…", he looked up again, „…please do give my regards to Captain McGuyre."  
"With pleasure", Imogen replied and left, swinging her hips and smiling to herself as she did so. She could feel van Huuiten's eyes follow her out of the room.

Shaking his head, van Huuiten stowed the signed letter of marque away in a secret compartment in his desk and only then, as he picked up the document he had been working on before he had been interrupted, he realised with a groan of exasperation that Imogen had sketched the outline of a sparrow below the text, thus ruining hours of careful composing of words and steady writing. How she had known which was the most important sheet of paper she could possibly choose was anyone's guess, and however she had done it without him noticing was a mystery to him.

Staring at his hand she had so accidentally touched in rising, he pursed his lips, and to his great annoyance, Lucas van Huuiten needed quite a while before he could properly concentrate on his paperwork again.

Yet a tiny smile remained on his lips. She would regret this. Maybe.

x x x x x x x x

When Imogen got back to the harbour it was already getting dark and it was about time for them to set sail to catch the outgoing tide. She shouted a few commands at her crew who obeyed all too readily, making her grin in satisfaction. God, it was good to be back at sea again, she thought as she watched her first mate Henningsen, a friesian man with red hair and beard, take the helm as she left the Albatross to board the Pearl.

The crew of the Pearl was readying the ship to set out, as well, but Jack was nowhere to be seen. Imogen hooked her thumbs into her belt and looked around, then found Bill and Elizabeth stand at the bow.  
„Billy", she said as she reached them. „Elizabeth. Where's Jack?"  
Elizabeth mustered her, feeling immensely relieved to see her spirit returned to her eyes on one hand but still slightly nervous on the other due to her behaviour earlier. "I haven't seen a trace of him since we left the cabin during your row", Elizabeth said and Imogen blinked. „Why, I wasn't that bad… was I?"  
She looked at Bill who shrugged. „You two were shouting at each other to make the main mast quiver."  
Imogen grinned. „Well, we do that now and again but…" Heavy steps coming up the stairs made her turn her head, but her grin died when Jack emerged staggering on deck, reeling from drunkenness. „Now here's a man who has had more than his head will hold…" she muttered.

„Thirteen men on a dead man's chest…", Jack slurred, waving a half-empty bottle in one hand and a pistol in the other. „YO! HO! HO!" He took a sip. „An'abottleo'rum." He stumbled and used the main mast as support for a second as he fired a shot from his pistol into the air before heading off towards the bow again.  
„Jack?" Imogen felt suddenly worried. Whenever he had chosen to get that hammered before, he had done so in privacy and not before his whole crew. And now, with Elizabeth… Imogen exchanged a glance with her and found her stare at Jack with deeply worried eyes.

„Imogen", Jack said with a hoarse and slurred voice, dropping his pistol and drawing the other one from his sash. „Ye know… ye were right, luv. My time's over, ye know."  
„Jack", she said, trying to reconciliate a little, she seemed to have done more damage than she had imagined. „Jack, I'm sorry, I might have been a bit harsh…"  
"A bah", Jack said, swaying precariously. „Even if ye were, ye've spoken nothing but the truth, aye? I thought Fortuna had smiled at me…" He burped. „ But ye know, she wears an eye patch on the right side and has a glass eye on the left. My time's over, well and good."  
„Jack I…"

Jack emptied the bottle and threw it overboard. „Thirteen men on a dead man's chest", he intoned. „Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"  
„Jack", Imogen began again, she was suddenly deeply worried as well. He had never before let himself go like that before his crew.  
Jack squinted at her, completely ignoring Elizabeth and Bill. „Drink and the devil had done for the rest", He muttered and cocked the pistol. „Yo ho ho…" He lifted the muzzle and pressed it under his right ear. „And a bottle of rum."  
„Jack! No!", Imogen screamed, making a hasty move into his direction. „NO!"

Jack blinked, then grinned and pulled the trigger.


	30. Chapter 30

Insert standart disclaimer here.

You'd think I'd go as far as that? Did you? I'm hurt... but then, I probably did deserve that, didn't I?

There's a bit of explicit content further down. Know this before you venture there. 

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 30**

The only sound that came from the weapon to disturb the deadly silence on board was a tired sizzle and pop. A slight smell of wet powder and hot rum wafted across the foredeck.

Jack blinked and stared at the muzzle of his pistol. „You… insubordinate… pig", he slurred (leaving it open to definition if he was talking to the weapon or himself, having spilled the rum over the pistol in his drunkenness and thus ruining the powder) and then, without another word, he fell over from his full height, hitting the deck with a heavy thud.

Dropping her hands from her face, Imogen unfroze and clenched her fists, still as pale as a shroud. „You bloody arsehole!", she screamed and kicked the unconscious captain in the ribs, making both Elizabeth and Billy flinch at the sickly crunch that accompanied the impact of her boot.

„Oh god…" Imogen took a step back and gasped as she saw Jack's first mate approach her with a tight-set and grim face.  
„This is as far as ye go, Captain Sparrow", he almost spat at her, gesturing at the two men who had followed him to pick up Jack's unconscious form. „I think it's about time ye went back to yer own ship again."

Imogen blinked and, biting back her tears, thrust out her chin and swallowed as Aaron and Oswald carried Jack below deck. „That's no way to treat a captain, drunk or no", McLeith went on in a low voice that enhanced his heavy northern irish accent. „And less the man what fathered ye and crippled himself to save yer life."

Imogen crossed her arms and tried to keep her face under control. She hadn't mean to kick Jack that hard. She hadn't meant to kick him at all, she just had completely lost control of herself as she had watched her father try and commit suicide before her very eyes. She knew she should say something, that she should maybe apologize, say she was sorry, say anything, but she found she could say nothing. Taking a deep breath, she finally nodded and turned on her heel to leave.

„Billy", she said as she reached the plank and turned around. „Are ye coming?"  
Bill shot a glance at his mother and Imogen narrowed her eyes. „Are ye one of me crew or no? I shan't ask ye again." She curled up her lips and added in a voice dripping with acidic scorn „Or do ye want to stay with yer mommy? Are ye coming or no?"  
Bill swallowed and tried to ignore the burning of his face at her stinging words. „Aye, captain", was all he said as he followed her, and he didn't look at his mother again.

Elizabeth watched him go with a feeling of a knife turning in her guts. There he went, her only son, her only child, slave of his feelings for someone who did not seem to care anymore. Lost to her like she herself had been afraid of being lost to her father all those years ago. And watching him now trailing after her, she asked herself if Jack hadn't been right all along.

_It would have never worked between us._

Was that what it took to get through to a Sparrow? To swallow your pride so completely and giving them the satisfaction of owning you body and soul? And was that why Jack had said this, because he had known, seen it in her eyes, that she would never succumb to him that way? Maybe. Maybe he had seen she was no woman to swallow her pride.

And Billy? He was his father's son, sure enough. His love was of another kind as hers had been, it was sweet, gentle, caring and passionate. It was loyal. And that was what was bothering about watching him and Imogen. It was like watching a master and his dog. Sure, she was fond enough of him, but Elizabeth couldn't help herself feeling that if Billy died in the near future, he would be a fond memory to her and nothing more than that.

Oh yes, it did hurt her to see him treated like this. It did hurt her to watch him being humilated like that. But she also knew that Imogen was not master of her feelings any more right now and that her soul still hadn't healed from the atrocities Barbossa had done to her. And maybe that was now what would remain. Maybe she would never heal. She seemed recovered enough, all of a sudden, but anyone who cared to look more closely into her eyes saw an edge there, a cruelty, something deeply disturbing because it told you that she didn't care any more about anyone's feelings, including her own, to get what she wanted. It was disturbing.

Elizabeth hadn't really known her before all this, but even though, looking into Imogen's eyes in search for her soul felt like looking into a shattered mirror. What you saw were distorted pictures, and otherwise, only shards and splinters. And a lot of sharp edges to hurt yourself.

And Bill had told her he wouldn't give up that easily. He wouldn't make the same mistake as she had done, so many years ago, but now, watching him follow her on board the Albatross, Elizabeth asked herself for the first time if she really had made a mistake. Maybe she was wrong, and Jack himself was not precisely as ruthless as his daughter. He was a good man, something that couldn't possibly be said about his daughter, and not only due to the fact she was a woman.

But still… she couldn't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, she hadn't.

x x x x x x x x

Elizabeth sat beside Jack on the bed when he awoke, having undressed him with McLeith's help to bandage his torso. It wasn't as bad as it had sounded, the rib Imogen had hit wasn't broken, but it was cracked, well enough, and Jack would enjoy the last reminder of Imogen for quite a while yet.

Jack fluttered his eyelids with a groan.  
„Jack", Elizabeth whispered and put her hand on his forehead.  
„Lizzie", he murmured. „Am I finally dead?"  
"No", she said and swallowed. „I'm afraid not."  
"Thought so… ye're either in heaven where it doesn't hurt anymore or in hell where it does, but you're not supposed to be in hell, so I'm likely still alive. For all that's worth." He opened his eyes to look at her. „Where is Imogen?"

Elizabeth shrugged. „I don't know. McLeith told her to leave the Pearl after you had fallen over and she went, taking Billy with her. The Albatross left the harbour before us and was soon out of sight. You had quite a row there…"  
"Aye", Jack said, pinching his eyes shut with a sigh. „And I got a little carried away with me drinking, then."  
„You did", Elizabeth said tonelessly and Jack opened his eyes again at the sound of her voice.  
He narrowed his eyes. „What happened then?"  
With a deep breath to steady herself, Elizabeth took his hand. „You tried to kill yourself before everyone's eyes, Jack."

Jack's eyes widened. „I thought I'd dreamt that…", he muttered and Elizabeth shook her head. „No, sadly enough. You pressed a pistol under your ear and pulled the trigger."  
He swallowed. „So what…"  
"The powder was wet. I guess you spilled some rum…"  
Jack let his head fall back with a groan.

„You collapsed right after that and Imogen lost her nerves, I guess I can't really blame her for that. She screamed at you and kicked you in the ribs. I do blame her for that, though."  
Furrowing his brow, Jack bared his teeth for a second. „Kicking an unconscious man, was she?"  
"Yes", Elizabeth replied, avoiding his eyes. „And she has cracked a rib, I fear."

„That's why I can't breathe properly", Jack moaned and closed his eyes again. „God, ye lousy bitch, daughter or no, god have mercy on ye when next I lay my eyes on ye."

Elizabeth chose not to comment on that. It might well be he would have calmed down by the time they would meet again, and it might be that Imogen would be able to apologize. But there was no denying that their last row, as brutal as it had been, had damaged their relationship in more than one way.

„Help me up Lizzie, will ye", Jack said, trying to sit up. Elizabeth took both his hands in hers and helped him to sit upright, looking at his face in concern as he shook his head several times. „God, I tell ye, having a hangover and broken ribs in one go is a bit much for a man my age." He hung his legs out of the bed and looked around for his wooden leg. „Where's me stuff", he muttered and scratched his chin.

Elizabeth watched him dress with a troubled heart. He seemed all right, as if he wasn't particularly bothered about what happened, but the way he hunched his shoulders as he left his cabin bespoke of a pain that had nothing to do with either his leg nor his cracked rib. Rising with a deep sigh, Elizabeth followed him on deck where he took the helm.

With a slight feeling of relief, Elizabeth realised that this little bit of magic, at least, did still work. As soon as he took the helm, his fingers closing around the spokes, he suddenly looked again like the man she remembered, full of life and spirit and confident in himself and his abilities. Watching him flick a glance at his compass she had to smile, and she didn't even wonder where they were going now as he decidedly changed the course, the ship leaning into the wind with billowing sails.

But even watching him like that, she still couldn't make up her mind about if she had made a mistake or not, all those years ago.

x x x x x x x x

The roaring of the cannon still ringing in his ears, Bill moved as fast as he could to load it again as the latches of the other ship opened opposite of him. He rammed the ball home and jumped around the cannon, picking up the torch from the holder.  
„Ready!" Henningsen screamed. „FIRE!"  
The canons roared again and Bill could see through his latch that they had hit home. The english ship leaned over and her mast broke off.  
„All hands on deck!" He heard Imogen's voice scream from above. „Cannoniers stand ready!"

The Albatross leaned in the wind and tackled, coming alongside the english vessel. As he was reloading the canon Bill could see through the latch that the crew of the Albatross was boarding the merchantman with screams and yells. Listening to the sounds of the battle going on, he was suddenly glad he was a cannonier this time, hating himself for a coward as he did realise it. Yet he was sure, however, that next time, he wasn't going to be allowed to hide under deck. Next time, he would have to prove himself in a fight.

The battle had subsided and Bill could see that the plunder was being carried onboard the Albatross.  
„Cannons ready!", Imogen screamed and he placed himself behind his cannon, shaking his head to get rid of that feeling in his guts. She meant to sink them and he would fire his cannon right into her hull, thus damning all of her crew to a death from either drowning or sharks.

The planks were removed. „FIRE!"

Bill didn't hesitate a second but now he knew he was a damned soul. Watching the hull of the english ship splinter and fall apart, he send a short prayer for every soul on board to god, hoping no one would read his thoughts on his face. Maybe he would be able to remain, but if he was ever able to become a true pirate, he began to doubt. He had a conscience, and that was a major hindrance in this business. But maybe time would enable him to numb it, to get rid of it, for him to turn into as mean and ruthless a bastard as the other men around him seemed to be.

„All hands on deck!", he heard Henningsen scream and abandoned his cannon after checking the line that held it. Following the other men who quickly climbed up the ladder on deck he didn't waste another thought for the sailors on the english ship. There was nothing anyone could do for them anymore.

„Full canvas, ihr miesen Landratten!", Henningsen yelled, running across the deck and pulling at a rope to drag down the Jolly Roger. „Move your arses! Ihr Hurensöhne! Bewegt eure faulen Ärsche! Ree!"  
The last word had been his command for a tackle starboardwise, as someone had enlightened Bill. It was something he would have to get used to. Henningsen did not only swear at the crew in german, occasionally he used nautical commands in that lingo, as well. Bill slung a rope around a spoke and exchanged a glance with the man next to him.  
„Ye know, sometimes I'd really like to know what he's yelling at us."  
„Do you really?", Billy asked and the both flicked a glance at Henningsen.  
"No", they both said in unison and shrugged, busying themselves with their knots.

„Course for Curaçao!" Imogen yelled from the wheel and gave it a push to make the Albatross lean into the wind. „And ho for the plunder! We've a hull full of spices and tobacco!"

Watching her, Billy felt his mouth go dry and his heart beat faster. She had made it clear, when she had introduced him to the crew, that he was no different than the rest and no better, and that he, too, would only ever enter her cabin if summoned there. Yet so far, he hadn't yet been summoned there once, and the slightly tensed atmosphere that had been between him and a few men of the crew had slowly relaxed.

They had begun to accept him and treat him as one of their own, even knowing what his station was. But then, what was he really? The captain's lapdog, that was what he had overheard in the bilge once. And maybe he was. He had followed her and was watching her every move, waiting for her to smile at him or even look at him, which she never had after they had boarded the Albatross together.

But now, as he watched her while his hands worked on their own accord, she suddenly rested her eyes on him and smiled, and Bill couldn't help but swallow and smile back as a breeze lifted her black mane of her curls and whipped them around her face. She lowered her lids and tilted her head before she looked away, and Billy felt a little warmer inside, all of a sudden.

x x x x x x x x

Lucas van Huuiten put down his quill as the messenger was announced, resting assured in the knowledge that this time, he was prepared and was not going to be at anyone's advantage but his own. Imogen closed the door behind her and walked up to his desk.  
„Ah, welcome", he said and folded his hands on the table. „A messenger from Captain Sparrow, I presume. What can I do for you?"

Imogen sat down on his desk again, but this time, there was a cleared space in the middle, several stacks of paper flanking it on either side. Imogen leaned over. „I just wanted to pay me respects, governor", she said, smiling at him as she realised that this time, he didn't fall for the trap as easily as last time. „I've just sold a load of spices and tobacco and must admit that I, on my side, are very satisfied with our business agreement so far."  
„Now that gladdens my heart", van Huuiten said with a polite smile. „Let me assure you, the satisfaction is entirely mine."

Imogen leaned a little forward. „Is it?", she asked in a low and silky voice. Van Huuiten, in turn, leaned back a little, slightly pressing his lips together as if trying not to show his disgust. Or smile.  
Imogen tilted her head. „I assure you, governor van Huuiten, that I on my part will keep as closely to our agreement as is possible", she said and van Huuiten lifted his brows.  
„I can not fail to see that", he said dryly, but he didn't move away any further.

With one fluid movement, Imogen brought her legs around so that she was now sitting on the desk facing him, one leg dangling down, the other propped up with her chin on the knee. She hadn't disturbed a single sheet of paper in the process, though.  
„Captain Sparrow", van Huuiten began, folding his hands on his chest. „Is there a particular reason why you insist on sitting on my desk?"  
Imogen dropped the other leg and rested her hands between her legs on the edge of the desk, leaning forward. „I like to see where you keep your hands, Mr van Huuiten", she said and twitched a corner of her mouth.  
"Well, I can only return that, captain. I don't particularly fancy having my documents ruined every time you pay me a visit."  
Imogen chuckled. „Oh, I'm sorry, I did forget myself a little. Was it something important?"  
Van Huuiten waved this aside with a flick of his hand. „Not any more. Now, is there something else?"

Imogen leaned forward, balancing on the edge of the desk. Van Huuiten lifted his eyebrows very slowly as her face came so closely into his view.  
"Mr van Huuiten, I just want to make sure that our… business arrangement remains… satisfying for both of us in the future."  
"Oh, I can assure you it will as long as you hold to your part of the agreement and stand up to your words." Imogen reached out and brushed a bit of -nonexistent- lint from the governor's collar. He flicked a glance at her hand and back at her face.„Governor, I assure you I will, as well as I am sure that I am not the only one to fully… stand up… to his words."  
Van Huuiten raised his eyebrows. „Captain?"  
Imogen smiled and with a quick movement, untied the bunch of lace at van Huuiten's throat.  
„Will you please refrain from meddling with my wardrobe, captain", van Huuiten said and Imogen chuckled and dropped her hands, looking at him under half-lowered lids. Yet van Huuiten did not move to tie himself up again.

„Is it me, or is it warm in here", Imogen said and undid the two top buttons of her shirt, flashing the governor a tiny grin as she leaned forward again so closely that she could feel his breath on her face.  
"Captain Sparrow", van Huuiten said without moving a muscle in his face. „I can not smell any rum on your breath, for if I did, I should ask you to leave immediately and end this silly charade."  
„But since you don't?" Imogen asked and ran a finger along the conture of his chin.  
A corner of his mouth twitched. „Since I don't, I find myself wondering about your… underlying… motifs, captain."

„My motifs…", Imogen breathed into his face, „…are quite simple, Mr van Huuiten. I just want to make sure you will remember our agreement and also, I want to make sure you know I haven't forgotten that my life and well-being is in your hands, alone."  
„It is, isn't it", van Huuiten replied with a slight smile on his lips as he lifted his chin a bit. Imogen smiled and without looking at his eyes again, quickly plucked his wig off and dropped it. „Captain", van Huuiten said as he got up with one fluid movement. „I told you to refrain from meddling with my wardrobe."  
Imogen let her legs dangle down the desk and leaned her upper body back with an impish grin. „I'll just meddle with me own wardrobe then, shall I?", she said and slowly undid all the buttons of her own shirt. She didn't open it, however, and looked at the governor again under half-closed lids.

Apart from the undone lace at his collar and his slightly ruffled hair, he kept his countenance with iron nerves, by the looks of him. Then he took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his hands on both sides of Imogen's hips, his unmoving face hovering above hers, now. "I didn't get where I am today were I not a man to know the virtue of patience", he said, narrowing his eyes. „That, as well as knowing when to take a chance and when not to."

Imogen smiled up at him, straightened up a bit and rested her hands on his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes, grey as polished marble. „"I'm not a chance, governor", she whispered and he leaned over her, their faces suddenly less than an inch apart. „What you see is what you get. Take it, or leave it." Then she moved her hands from his shoulders up to the back of his head and pulled his face down on hers, meeting his lips in a fiery, open-mouthed kiss.

When she broke the kiss after a while to look at the governor again she found him smiling slightly down at her, his jaws moving as if he was thinking of something to say. „Governor?"  
He chuckled softly under his breath, and Imogen suddenly realised that, as he finally dropped his mask of cool reserve, he was a rather handsome man with his finely chiselled features, the high cheekbones and the square jaw.

„Captain Sparrow, I hate having to admit it, but you did get the better of me again", he said with a slight smile. „And while I was determined not to be taken unawares this time, here I am… still trying to keep up with events." He leaned a little forward and took the halves of her shirt, spreading them open slowly, resting his eyes on her face as he did so. „Things being as they are, however…", he said as he leaned forward and pressed his lips at the grove of her neck as Imogen dropped her head backwards. „Things being as they are…", he breathed into her ear as he rested his left hand on her left breast while he put the other around her back, „… I can only say it was a fortunate act of precaution that I did clear my desk beforehand this time."

He turned his face back to hers again and softly bit into her lower lip. „This would have ruined more than one document, to be sure", he said with a chuckle and kissed her again, busying himself with the buckle of her belt. Imogen in turn started doing the same with him, yet before she got anywhere, he broke the kiss and stepped back, wordlessly pulling off her boots and her breeches. His face slightly flushed, he then looked her over as she was sitting on his desk, legs set apart and dangling down, wearing nothing but an opened shirt and her hat.

He didn't move when she leaned forward and reached for his belt, and he didn't move a muscle in his face when she tugged at his breeches, making them fall down to his ankles. Looking up at him again, Imogen leaned back a little, lips parted and eyes half closed.  
"I do sincerely hope…", van Huuiten said as he moved closer to her and took her hips, „…that we can reach a satisfying agreement in our business without… renewing the contract every time." Imogen sighed heavily as he entered her and gripped his shoulders to pull herself up a little as he gently but firmly moved inside her, making her sigh. „"Oh, I am sure you're not the man to step back on his word", she said, slightly out of breath, as she watched van Huuiten's face flush even more. „But it always pays off to keep your agreements up to date, governor."

„Doubtlessly", van Huuiten gave back with closed eyes as he slowly withdrew himself again. „But these negotiations can be… quite tiresome betimes." He swallowed and took a deep breath as he looked down at her face, and Imogen narrowed her eyes. „Governor, I don't…"  
Van Huuiten shook his head. "Please. I do not want to leave you in any form of distress", he said. „And certainly not…"  
"Oh, governor", Imogen interrupted him. „I doubt you can leave me in any more distress than I'm already in", she said as she moved her hips forward, thus exposing the little bulge in her lower belly. Van Huuiten raised his brows but took another deep breath as Imogen slung her legs around his hips. „You are a man of honour, Mr van Huuiten", she said and closed her eyes as he entered her again. „It's not something I'm used to, I admit."  
„And doubtless better than you deserve", he muttered, making her chuckle.

„Doubtlessly", she said and pulled him forward by the shoulders, kissing him again with opened lips. She moved her hips up to meet him, feeling her own heartbeat quicken, and only a few moments later, he broke the kiss and threw back his head, letting his breath escape in a long, deep, drawn out sigh with closed eyes. Imogen let her head fall back with a sigh of her own, realising that she wouldn't have minded at all had he taken a bit longer. She looked up again with a smile as he took a step back and produced a large handkerchief from a drawer of his desk to wipe himself off.

Imogen watched him bend down and pull up his breeches, and as he buckled his belt he realised she was staring at him and looked at her, cocking one eyebrow. „Yes?"  
„That is an interesting feature you have there, governor…" Imogen said and he looked down at himself, then blinked and chuckled. „Oh, that…", he said and lifted his shirt again. Imogen felt herself stare in fascination. The picture of a two snakes, one dark green and the other dark blue, twining round each other, slung itself around his belly button, the snakes biting each other's tails to create a perfect circle. „Yes, as you can guess, I was a sailor in my younger years, as well. I certainly was not hatched a fully fletched governor in this chair here, you see."

Imogen chuckled and watched him adjust his clothing again. Then she got up herself to put on her own boots and breeches, sitting down at the edge of the desk again to button up her shirt. As she picked up van Huuiten's wig, she had to grin at the sight of his face locked in concentration as he was tying up the lace at his chin without the aid of a mirror.  
„Here, let me…", she said and stood up, and he dropped his arms with a twitch of his head and a flick of his eyebrows to let her tie up his lace, straighten his shirt and smooth back his hair. Then she gave him the wig back with a grin and he took it, all feelings gone again from his face as he adjusted it on his head.

„Captain Sparrow, I trust the agreement is still to your satisfaction", van Huuiten said as he buttoned up his waistcoat and Imogen smiled, stepping slowly around the desk again.  
"It is", she said with a tiny grin. „And the skill with which you were able to draw it up is amazing, governor. You surely are a man who knows how to use his quill, Mr van Huuiten. And his wits."

A corner of van Huuiten's mouth twitched as he sat down again. „I trust we will speak again", he said and Imogen shrugged. „We might, although not quite so soon, I gather. At least not before this little problem has been taken care of", she said as she laid a hand on her belly. „Next time you may have to deal with the… Captain himself, not his messenger, I'm afraid."  
Van Huuiten raised his brows. „Well, I will surely look forward to this encounter, although I have the feeling I might not enjoy those negotiations as much as I did ours today."  
Imogen chuckled. „I bid you a good day, Mr van Huuiten. Wish me steady winds."  
„And a good day to you, as well", van Huuiten said and picked up a sheet of paper without looking up.

„And I wish you steady winds, Imogen", he added under his breath as the door had closed, shaking his head with a smile.


	31. Chapter 31

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 31**

If he had ever had any hopes of being with her again, Bill found those hopes slowly disintegrating as they left Curaçao's harbour again to head for Tortuga. On their way there she had smiled at him, every now and then, as if there was still something left of the love she had felt for him, but since they had left Curaçao, she hadn't even looked at him.

And Bill began to wonder if his visit to Stevenson had been a bit hasty.

Yet Bill did his duties as crewman, a man before the mast, and at least could find some comfort in the fact that he had tried to go and live his dream. He loved sailing, he loved the sea, and while he also loved Imogen, he could clearly see that the girl he had fallen in love with so head over heels didn't exist any more. Occasionally, he would catch a glimpse of her, but the woman that had emerged from the ashes Barbossa had left behind was someone else.

Or maybe she wasn't, even, and it was only his imagination and his memory playing unfair tricks on him. He remembered her as the laughing, sweet girl telling him she was a pirate. Seeing the woman who was a pirate, however, proved to be more difficult to digest.  
And slowly, with all the passing days, Bill had to face the feeling that he had been deluding himself, after all, with romantic notions about being a pirate. He had tried to be realistic, had thought he could handle it. But faced with a reality he had been unable to imagine, he realised how naive he had been.

And now this naivety came back to haunt him as he went into the battle against yet another english merchantman that was doomed, having encountered the Albatross. Imogen made no prisoners and gave no pardons. Every ship she attacked and that could not flee was sunk, and every single soul on board killed. And yet, this was nothing pirates ever did, for they would never destroy their source of income so utterly. This was more than piracy, and closer to warfare than anything else. But he was stuck with her now.

Bill had been right. This time, he wasn't allowed to stay below deck to man a cannon, this time he had to stand his ground in a fight while boarding the english vessel. Trying to suffocate a part of his brain, he fought his way across the deck and killed two men, desperately trying not to look at their faces.

He dimly registered that a part of the Albatross' crew had begun to carry the plunder across and knew that, quite soon, the ship would be sunk, when he found two men trying to hide at the stern below the helm.  
„Turner, by god", one of them yelled and to his horror, Bill recognised both of them as men who had been his comrades when the man-o-war under Barbossa had shanghaied them. "Have ye not been released, then? I thought those villains wouldn't keep their words!"  
„Billy!" That was Imogen's voice, sounding from behind him, and he spun around. „Kill them!", she screamed. „There's a navy vessel coming for us! We have to take to the winds as fast as we can! Kill them, don't leave any witnesses!"

And Bill felt frozen on the spot, staring at his former comrades, while behind him the noise of the fight slowly died. „Bill Turner!" He spun around again to find Imogen stand behind him, pistol cocked and primed. „That was an order! I don't like repeating meself!" Then she aimed and shot the first man, hitting him clean between the eyes, blowing half his head off at this distance and Bill gagged and stumbled a step back. „You cursed shirking lubber!" Imogen screamed and ripped his pistol out of his unresisting fingers. „Get yerself back on the ship, ye stinking bilge rat, and don't ye dare to hide yerself, ye blasted coward!"

Not truly trusting his ears, not wanting to believe his eyes, Bill took another step back and managed just about to turn before Imogen fired the second shot. His blood gushing in his ears, he jumped across the railing back on deck of the Albatross, followed shortly afterwards by Imogen who was bristling with fury as she screamed the commands at her crew to get the hell out of here.

As it happened, they barely managed to escape the navy this time, and only due to the fact that the Albatross, as a bark, wasn't lying deep in the water and was faster than the frigate that pursued them; plus, they hadn't managed to get the full load on board the merchantman had been carrying, and the bales of silk they had managed to get on board did not weigh too much.

As soon as the navy was clear out of sight, Imogen ordered someone to take the helm and jumped down on deck. „Turner!", she yelled, and with a heavy heart and not a little scared, Bill dropped the rope he was coiling up and walked across the deck to meet her.  
„Captain?"  
Imogen crossed her arms. „I don't care to repeat my orders, Turner, and even less so in a battle."  
„Aye, captain", Bill said, looking straight ahead.  
"Ye know what I should do?", Imogen snarled. „I should have ye walk the plank. But ye can have yer twelve lashes instead and remain on board. Ye choose."  
Bill swallowed and took a deep breath. „I choose the lashes, captain", he said in a low voice, trying to keep it steady. Imogen took a deep breath through her nose. „Give him a dozen", she said in a hoarse voice and stepped back, watching with an unmoving face as her men shackled Bill to the mast.

Henningsen stepped behind Bill and ripped his shirt apart as easy as an old rotten rag, but even the old salt had to swallow as he caught sight of Bill's back. „Scheisse", he muttered softly under his breath and cautiously turned around to glance over his shoulder at his captain.

Imogen stared at Bill's back, as well, but she had lost her countenance completely and did so open-mouthed and with burning eyes.

„Oh Scheisse", whispered Henningsen again as he looked at the man beside him who now stepped forth, brandishing the nine-tailed cat. „Nich gut… gar nich gut… Oh not good at all…" For he had seen in his captain's eyes that she, too, for the first time had seen the sparrow that graced Billy's back, wings spread out over each shoulder blade.

x x x x x x x x

It was well past midnight, and the wind had slacked off completely, when Imogen emerged on deck again. She had spend the rest of the day in her cabin with her head buried under her pillow, trying not to hear the sounds of the flogging, but later, she had just remained there, hating herself more than she had words for it. But she had had no choice. No special treatment for any of the crew, or else she would be faced with a mutiny faster than she could spell it.

But the most unpleasant thought had been as to why he couldn't have just stayed in Port Royal instead of following her. She should have told him no.

As she had half-hoped and half-expected, Bill was on deck as well, standing at the bow, the remnants of his shirt still clutched in his right hand, the left resting on the railing.  
„Billy?", she whispered, but he just hunched his shoulders without turning. „Captain?"  
She cleared her throat. „Will ye come with me, Billy? I'll… patch ye up."  
Bill turned around and she could see his lower lip was swollen and split, he must have bitten upon it to keep himself from crying out. „Wouldn't that be special treatment, captain?", he said in a low voice and Imogen swallowed.  
„No, since it's always me who patches them up, no matter where they come from and what for."  
„If it makes you happy", he said tonelessly and walked up to her with an unmoving face.  
„Aye, it would, Billy", she replied in a whisper and he shrugged.

Imogen lowered her eyes and then, with a wrench, turned around and walked below deck towards her cabin, and Bill followed her.

„Sit ye down mate", Imogen said, her voice more than a little hoarse as she had closed the door behind them and Billy sat down, looking at his own face in the mirror that was propped up there on the table before him.  
Imogen's face appeared in the mirror as she stood behind him and he could see her face locked in pain as she looked at his back and carefully traced the outline of the sparrow with her forefinger. What was left of it, at least.

„Why did you do that, Billy?", she asked in a whisper and Bill shrugged. „Because I love you, Imogen. I wanted you to see that I'm not making empty promises, that I won't leave you, that I will go with you wherever I go. But I guess the need for that is now as shattered as this", he said, indicating with his thumb down his shoulder.  
He looked into the mirror again and saw Imogen still stare at his back, fighting back her tears. „I'm sorry, Billy, I am sorry, please believe me. But I couldn't not punish ye, I had to treat ye like one of me crew…"  
"I know", he interrupted her. „And I'm glad you left me the choice between the lashes and the plank. Now at least, I can admit defeat and just go home again."  
"Defeat?", her head flew up and she stared into the mirror, looking at his eyes. „Home?"  
„And what do you think I should do, Imogen?", he said then and stood up, turning around to look at her. „I thought today had made it clear that I'm not going to be a pirate. I can't. I've tried, and I've failed. I wanted to go with you. I really did. But I can't. God knows I can't. I can't shoot a former comrade in cold blood. Or any man, for that matter."

Imogen swallowed and reached out to touch his cheek. He did not hinder her, but he did not smile, either, and did not lean into her hand cupping his cheek. „Billy", she whispered. „I'm sorry, but…"  
"Don't be", he replied in a whisper. „I've been deluding myself and now I can't deny it. I'm sorry, but as much as I want to go with you all the way, I just can't. I simply can't. Not like that."

She stared up at him with trembling lips and Bill leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. Swallowing a lump in his throat he leaned back again and sighed. „It wasn't meant to be, Imogen. I'm not your man, I can't be."  
„But Billy…", she began, her voice trembling now, as well. „You are..."  
„I am? I was, most likely", he replied gently, but strangely enough, this time, knowing he had lost her for good, he felt no tears, only a leaden heaviness dragging him down. „I know you said I'm a good man to have. But now I ask you: for whom? Not for you, I am sure of that."  
„No, Billy, don't say that…", she began again, the tears that had finally broken free streaming down her cheeks. „You're…"

Bill leaned forward again and sighed. „Imogen", he said with less gentleness in his voice as before. „I never was the man you wanted. I was a boy you fancied. Can you deny that?"  
She shook her head, wrenching her hands. „But I love ye, Billy, why don't ye…"  
„Love me? Believe you? I do believe you. But the way you love me is not the way I want you to, because I am not what you really want, Imogen. I was a boy you fancy. And now, after I have been humiliated, ridiculed and flogged, have I turned into the man you wanted me to be?"  
„But Billy", she said with a soft sob. „I never wanted ye to be anyone else."

„Aye, and that's the whole trouble, isn't it", Bill said, shaking his head. „Because you loved the charming… whelp, and he wanted to be a pirate. And in trying so, he changed. And now he isn't the boy you fell in love with any more and has turned into a man I'm beginning to hate. How can I expect anyone to love me if I hate myself? This is not piracy you're doing here, and you know it. It's warfare, and I am no warrior. I had my doubts about becoming a pirate, but I know I can't become a murderer."

Imogen shook her head mutely.

With a sigh, Bill pulled her into his arms, hugging her to his chest. „I'm sorry, love, I still do love you, but I see that I'm not the one you fell in love with any more. There's no one else to blame but me for that, but I had to try it, hadn't I?" He looked down at her and she swallowed and looked up at him. „Had I not gone with you, I would have lost you all the same", Bill said. „Hadn't I?"

Imogen shrugged and ran a hand across his cheek. „Aye, most likely. But then ye wouldn't have had the skin taken of yer back."

„Well", he said. „But now at least I know what I can do and what I can't. It's just…" He dropped his arms, overcome by a sudden urge to scream unfair at the whole world. But that wouldn't change a thing. He sighed again. „I couldn't be with you and stay the man I was, but going with you had me changed into someone else than the man you fell in love with. Someone I don't want to be. It's…"

„It looks like it would never have worked between us no matter what we'd tried…" Imogen finished for him, blinking her tears away. „But what about the child?"  
Bill shrugged and wiped the tears from her face with the back of his hand. „I'll still claim him as mine, like I said. I won't step back on my word on that."  
„He might be yours", Imogen said, resting her head against his shoulder.  
„Aye, that's why I said it, and I still mean it", Bill said. „And if you want, I'll stay with you."  
"But that's not what ye want, ain't?" Imogen whispered and looked up at him again. „Ye want to go back home."  
„Home", Billy said with a sad chuckle. „Yes, it's back to mommy I guess."  
Imogen winced. „Billy I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like…"  
"Like you said it? I'm sure you didn't. You were pretty upset and all…"

She didn't reply and both were silent for a while. Finally, with a shrug, Bill dropped his arms and took a step back. „Will you release me?"  
„From my crew?" Imogen wiped a hand across her eyes.  
„Yes."  
"Aye, I do, Billy. As soon as we hit Tortuga, ye're free to go wherever ye want."  
Bill nodded. „Thank you. And be assured, whenever you need anything, I will support you in every way I can."  
"You're just such a decent lad, Billy", she said. „Even to such as me."  
„Such as you? You mean the mother of my child?"  
She looked up at him again. „I would so like to tell ye I love ye right now, but it would be a lie."  
„Then don't", he said, resisting the urge to kiss her, feeling his heart clench in agony in the knowledge that he would never kiss her again.

And as he left her cabin, his back was still as raw and burning as it had been when he had come in.

x x x x x x x x

During all the way up north, no one had questioned their course, since Jack seemed so absolutely sure of it. They had made a short stop in Barbados to stock up supplies and had headed north on a steady course, leaving the Caribbean far behind. The waters around them had grown darker and colder, the days had grown shorter and colder, as well, until finally, they had reached their destination, a small, rather nondescript island that was hardly more than a rock, somewhere south of the arctic circle, and east of the new world.

As Elizabeth now followed Jack on land she had a sudden sense of foreboding, a dark feeling of having an idea about what he wanted here and why they had come. But he didn't answer any of her questions and didn't react to any of her glances as he took her by the hand and led her up the central hill on the island; and they partly walked, partly climbed up the craggy rise of dark and splintered rocks.

„There it is", Jack muttered as they turned a corner around an outcrop and a dark opening loomed before them. „That birdbrain Barbossa was just too stupid to find it."  
"Jack", Elizabeth said, tugging at his hand. „What is this place?"  
Jack slowly turned to face her. „This is the place where your dreams come true, Lizzie."  
Elizabeth shook her head. „Nightmares, most likely. God, Jack, I don't want to be here. This place scares me to death. Let us go, please!"  
„Elizabeth", he said urgently. „Please, I…"  
"No, Jack, and I have told you so before!" She wrenched her hand from his grasp and took a step back, shaking her head, yet the hurt and confused way he looked at her almost made her weep.

„Elizabeth", he said slowly. „I know what I want, but do you know what it is you want?"  
She swallowed. „I don't understand…"  
"Don't ye? Since we've left Curaçao ye have avoided me, have strayed out of my way, have hardly spoken to me and even locked yer cabin door at night!"  
„Since you know that and thus must have tried I was likely…"  
"The devil I did!" Jack clenched his fists. „What do ye think I'd do? Rape yer in yer own bed? I heard you bolt the door almost every night!"  
Involuntarily, Elizabeth took a step back and swallowed. „Jack, I'm sorry to…"

"What is it ye want, Lizzie?", Jack said again, holding out his hands. „Ye said ye love me. And all of a sudden, ye avoid me as if I had something contagious. What is it ye want, Elizabeth? Me? Or a memory? A ghost from the past?"  
„Jack…", she whispered, realising how terribly she had hurt him with her doubts and insecureness about her own feelings for him. „I…"  
"What is it ye want?", he asked for the fourth time, staring at her with unmasked pain in his eyes. „The man I was? Am I not man enough for ye any more? Can you not love me as the man I am rather than for the man I was?" He dropped his arms and swallowed. „But if that is what it takes then I'll go and turn back the time, for what good it'll do me."  
„No", Elizabeth gasped as he turned and walked into the cave. „No, Jack… please don't!" Watching him disappear into the darkness beyond, she finally managed to unfreeze her legs and hurried after him. „Jack…?"

„I'm here, Lizzie", she heard his voice and slowly, her eyes began to adapt to the dark twilight in the cave. She could make out his silhouette, in a crouch in the middle of the cave, and hurried over to him. Only then, when she had reached him, did she realise that the light in the cave did not come from outside but from the little spring that welled up from the floor right where he knelt. The water glowed in an eerie, dark, blue light.  
„Jack", she whispered as she went down beside him. „Is this…?"  
"Yes", he whispered back. „It is."

Elizabeth stared at the little pool of glowing water before her, hardly more than a foot across and no more than two inches deep, a little pool of water in the rocky floor of the cave. If it hadn't been for the strange glow it emanated, she had never guessed this was mankind's most sought for artefact.

_Are you willing to pay the price?_

Elizabeth jumped at the sound of the dark and hollow voice resounding in the cave… or was it in her head? She stared at Jack who took a sharp breath and realised that he had heard it, too.

„It asked that the last time I was here", he said and took one of Elizabeth's hand in his. „Yet last time, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. This time, however, I've…"  
"No, Jack, please don't do it", Elizabeth whispered urgently, taking his other hand in hers and bringing them both to her chest. „Don't do it."  
„Elizabeth, I…"  
"No, Jack, don't you see? Don't you realise what the price is going to be?"  
„No, but…"  
"I do", she said. „And I don't want to pay it. Do you really want to see everyone you ever cared for grow old and die? Watch Imogen and Billy wither and grow old? Watch them die? And her little one, your grandchild, do you want to watch him die? Everyone you will ever meet Jack, everyone you might ever love, you will have to watch them die!"

Jack inhaled deeply and she saw, even in the dim light, that he paled visibly.

„You alone will remain behind", she said, pressing his hands to her chest, on her heart, with both her hands. „And when the world will come to an end and falls apart, when every soul is brought back to judgment day, you alone will remain behind because you never died. Don't you see, Jack? The price for immortality is to live forever!"

Then she let go of his hands and slowly got up, turned around and left him crouching beside the little pool, walking towards the entrance and the light without turning back. „Jack, I can't stop you, but I am not going to live forever." She didn't bother to hold back her tears as she sat down on a rock outside, slinging her own arms around her against the cold air and stinging winds. She didn't know for how long she sat there before she heard slow and heavy steps behind her, and she didn't look up as Jack slowly slumped down on the rock beside her.

Neither of them said a word for quite a while, the whistling of the wind around them the only sound apart from the waves crashing on the distant rocky shore.  
„I'm sorry", Elizabeth whispered finally. „I'm sorry Jack. I do love you, and I'm sorry for having made you doubt it."  
He didn't answer, but reached over and took on of her hands in his, running his thumb gently across her skin.  
„Jack", she whispered after a while. „Did you drink it?"  
He sighed and slowly turned his head to look at her, and Elizabeth found she could not read the feeling in his eyes. Then he mutely shook his head and looked away again, staring straight ahead. „The immortal Captain Jack Sparrow…", he whispered after a while, „…is dead."

„Jack, I'm…" Elizabeth began, her heart clenching at the sound of his voice, but he interrupted her. „Don't be, Lizzie. Twenty years ago I wouldn't have bothered, had I known. But now, after all what happened, now that I know, I realise I really don't want to pay that price." He slowly got up and held out his arm. „Let's go home, luv. There's nothing for us here."

Elizabeth slowly got up and stepped into his embrace, and he pulled her close, holding her close to his chest while shielding her from the winds. „Let's go home", he said again and Elizabeth broke free from his embrace, nodded and took his hand again. Wordlessly, they made their way back, oblivious to the fact that behind them, the crack that had been the entrance into the cave had vanished, leaving only a face of solid rock behind.


	32. Chapter 32

Insert standard disclaimer here.

I start picking up the pieces now. Promised. Well... most of them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 32**

After having told the crew the treasure he had hoped to find on yonder island didn't exist, Jack set course due south again, back into warmer climates and calmer waters.

Crossing before the wind, it took them weeks to leave the iron-grey waters behind but even then, they were still miles away from home. And their journey back turned out to be not as easy as their journey north; they sighted a storm front coming for them from the east as they reached the northern waters of the Caribbean Sea after roughly three weeks of travel.

There was no escaping this storm and Jack told the crew to tie up all sails and loose bits and ordered them below deck to hold on and sit tight. Already the waves were rising and sloshing as high as the railing, and it grew darker by the minute as the clouds gathered above them like coagulating blood. As harsh was the waters of the North Atlantic were, there was nothing worse than a tropical storm.

All hands were now below, but Elizabeth still stood at the mast and realised with a racing heart that Jack was about to tie himself to the wheel with a length of rope. He gripped the spokes then and suddenly his eyes widened as he spotted her. „Get ye below deck at once!", he yelled at her above the rising winds. „This is not a drop of bad weather, it's a bloody storm!"  
The ship rocked heavily under the impact of a large wave and Elizabeth had to balance her steps to remain upright, but then she swallowed and hurried forth to the helm.  
„That was an order!", Jack yelled across the winds and the beginning rain. „Do I have to carry ye below and tie ye down?"  
But her mind being made up, Elizabeth thrust out her chin and slipped through under Jack's arm, standing between him and the wheel. „I won't leave you!", she screamed back. „I'm not going to come on deck should this be over and find you gone!"  
„Right then, suit yerself!", Jack screamed and picked up the rope again. „Hold her steady!"

Elizabeth swallowed but took the spokes without hesitation, summoning all her strength into her arms to keep the wheel where it was as Jack slung the rope around them both, trapping her between the wheel and his body. He brushed her cheek with his as he took the spokes again, resting his hand on top of hers. „Lizzie", he said into her ear and she turned her head to look at him, ye he stared straight ahead. „If my last words aren't I love you, it's just because I didn't have the time, aye?" Then he looked down on her face and smiled his impish, roguish Sparrow-grin before meeting her lips with his in a hasty kiss.

„Jack, look out!" Elizabeth screamed as she looked ahead again.  
"Holy mother of god…", Jack groaned and forced the wheel around with a wrench. A wave as large as the ship herself was looming before them and the Pearl just about managed to turn and ride on the bottom of the wave for a second before the wave collapsed on top of her, drenching everything in tons of cold and salty water. Miraculously, the ship didn't break and hadn't it been for the rope, Elizabeth realised, this would have been the end for both of them.

Wrenching at the wheel, Jack screamed like a madman. „Ride the waves, my darling! Lizzie, be our charm for today!"  
„What?" She turned her head to look at him, mustering his face, drenched hairs clinging to his skin, his eyes glittering with a fierceness that made her smile. He looked at her and grinned. „We don't have a figurehead to protect us!", he screamed. „Lost it years ago and never had it replaced! You must be my figurehead, Lizzie! My charm! Will us through!"  
Blinking the water out of her eyes, Elizabeth stared at him, but then slowly turned her face to follow his gaze straight ahead.

Waves as large as the ship tossed them around and sometimes, the sky would be filled with water for a second before a wave would come crashing down on them. At first, Elizabeth thought of mercy, that she wanted to go home, and begged the sea to let them live. But as the storm went on, she found herself get frustrated with these useless pleas and started to stare at the waves as if she could, indeed, will them away.

„Blast it!", Jack screamed as the they parted the next wave with their bow, riding through and crashing down on the other side. Wood screamed and another wave hit them, making the Pearl lean sideways. „God damnit, we're going to loose the foremast!", he screamed at her as the next wave crashed sideways down on them, and with a groan of wood and a shower of splinters, the mast broke, crashing back on deck.

„I want to get home!", Elizabeth suddenly screamed in a fit of frustration.  
„So do I!", Jack screamed back.  
"I wasn't talking to you!"  
Jack blinked, but then grinned. _Whispering to the waves, are ye, luv_, he thought and listened to Elizabeth screaming into the storm. „I want to go home! I want to bloody get home! I'm not ready yet! Do you hear me? I'm not ready yet! Let us go!!"  
Behind her, Jack howled like a wolf. „Do you hear her? Do you hear her?" He wrenched the wheel around again and the next wave missed, the impact rocking the ship but nothing more. „That's the spirit, Lizzie!", he screamed and laughed at the same time. „Will us through!"

And ignoring the rain lashing at her skin and the wind plastering her wet hair into her face, Elizabeth stared straight ahead, into the waves, making even herself believe for a moment in time that she would indeed will the waves away before them as Jack wrenched the wheel this way and that, riding through the valleys between the waves, making the ship dodge the larger ones with the grace of a seal.

The rocking of the ship, the crashing of the waves and the howling of the winds somehow made Elizabeth slip into what was almost a trance, nothing left in her consciousness other than the waves, the wind and the feeling of Jack's body pressing her to the wheel, anchoring her in the world, as if he was the only thing to preserve her from being sucked into the storm and becoming forever one with the waves.

And thus, being in this strangely detached state of mind, it took her a while until she realised that the waves had shrunk and that the winds had slackened a bit, although the rain was still pouring down. She had no idea how long it had taken them to get through the storm, but before them, she could see a strip of light between the dark clouds above and the grey waves below, illuminated by the last rays of the setting sun.

„Jack", she said, more than a little hoarse. „Did we make it?"  
"Aye", he said, leaning forward to speak softly into her ear. „We made it. Not unscathed, but we made it. You willed us through."  
„I didn't", she gave back and turned her head to look at him. „It was you, Jack. You turned the ship into a living being riding on the waves like an otter."  
Jack chuckled. „Aye, it may seem like that… I've dodged many a wave in me life so far. But it's skill and luck what gets ye through a storm, seldom only one of those."  
„And I thought women brought bad luck on a ship", Elizabeth said with a smile.  
Jack grinned and shrugged. „Depends on the woman in question, I guess", he said and kissed her, his hands still resting on hers around the spokes of the wheel.

The sound of the hatch opening made them break the kiss and look across the deck where the first men of Jack's crew cautiously peeked their heads out to look around.

„Let's get her patched up and be on our way", Jack muttered and reached behind him to undo the knot which was giving him some troubles; it had pulled itself tight and the rope was wet, so he eventually had to use his knife and cut them free.  
„Get yerself some dry stuff", he said to Elizabeth before jumping down the stairs to the deck as if he had completely forgotten about his wooden leg. Which he hadn't, he landed gracefully on his right leg and used the left one only to balance himself after he had landed. Elizabeth watched this with a breath of relief when he grinned up at her with a wink.  
„And what about you?", she asked and he shrugged. „I'm used to it", he said and walked off to oversee the crew in cutting down the upper half of the broken mast.

Deciding that since it was still raining a change of clothes would be a waste of time, Elizabeth just stayed where she was and, following a sudden impulse, took the wheel that seemed to have been forgotten by the whole crew, including the captain. Only when a large wave hit them like a last remnant of the herds that had tried to trample them down, Jack's head jerked around when the ship failed to sway and be whipped about, realising that she was still at the wheel and holding her steady. In that moment, Elizabeth saw something that she could only describe as the sun rising in his eyes.

He stared at her, just for a moment, as she stood at the wheel, and turned away again with a slow smile spreading on his face as he turned his attention back to the crew and the broken foremast again. But she had seen it, the strength of his feeling, for once not masked behind anything else, his love and his trust in her, for she was sure that not just anyone would be allowed to steer his ship, no matter how calm and easy the sea.

„_Ye're strong, Lizzie. Ye're a strong woman."  
_„_I was. I was a strong woman. Twenty years ago, Jack, but not any more. I am too old. It's too late."  
_„_Ye're not old! Ye're younger than me!"  
„But you have never left the sea in all those years, while I tried all I could to forget about her."_

But obviously she hadn't, and Elizabeth had to smile at her memories. Maybe she had underestimated herself and was stronger than she had believed herself to be. But as she watched Jack shout at his crew and jump over the mast, and as she then looked back at her hands again holding the wheel, she couldn't shake off the strange feeling that maybe, just maybe, they had taken something away with them from that strange island after all… as if the true magic of the fountain of youth was not in drinking from it.

She smiled to herself at this rather strange notion of thought, but she remembered also the words of Red Morgan, asking her if a short but happy life wasn't better than a long and sad one. She had agreed, then, and she agreed again, now. She wasn't going to live a life filled with eternal, always recurring sadness. She would live her life, but she would live it happily. And not ever after. Happily to the end rather than regretful ever after. And she was sure she could see it in Jack's eyes, that he himself had come to the same conclusion.

„Should we drop anchor?", one of the hands asked and Jack nodded. „It's rather deep here, I guess, but if…" He broke off and narrowed his eyes, as if struck by a sudden idea. „Yes", he said slowly, walking to the bow. „Drop the anchor, lads."  
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, watching him go down in a crouch as if he meant to watch the anchor disappear into the waves, sensing that something was on his mind by the way he stared at the strong and sturdy rope that held the anchor.

„The helm!", Elizabeth yelled and saw McLeith hurry up to her, his face as uneasy a hers as he cast a glance at Jack who now rolled up his left sleeve, still kneeling beside the anchor that was just being dropped. „Jack", Elizabeth whispered, hit by the sudden realization what he was about to do. But before she could say anything else, Jack wound the rope around his left wrist without an attempt to hold it. He threw back his head with a groan and gritted his teeth, but otherwise, apart from a slight tremble, he didn't move. Elizabeth fell onto her knees beside him as she reached him and the rope suddenly stopped, the anchor having hit the ground.

Pale as a shroud and his hands trembling, he removed the rope and slowly closed the fingers of his right hand around his left forearm below the wrist. Around the wrist, from the back of his hand to the base of his thumb, was a patch that was almost as large as one of Elizabeth's hands that was nothing more than raw, bleeding flesh, the skin torn away by the coarse rope.

„Jack?", she whispered again and he looked up at her with a painful grin. „Rope burn. Nasty stuff. Gives ye terrible scars." Elizabeth shook her head, unable to wrench her eyes away from the bleeding wound around his wrist. „Jack, that's more than a rope burn. I can see the bone of your thumb, for heaven's sake!"  
„Aye, that was rather a thick rope. But…"  
„But the new scar will tell a different story than the old one", Elizabeth finished for him and he smiled ruefully up at her. „Aye. No more treacherous, telltale letter of damnation."  
Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth forced her eyes away from his bleeding flesh. „I suspect you want a bandage for that", she said, getting up.  
"Aye", he said as he rose as well, still pale and swaying a little, trying to keep his balance with his eyes pinched shut „But first, I think I'm… going to have to throw up." And with these words, he leaned over the railing and did just that, letting his head and arms drop with a heartfelt groan.

Muttering a curse under his breath, he straightened up again to follow Elizabeth below deck, yet before he mounted the stairs he called out ot his first mate. „Summon the crew, McLeith", he said. „I've a little speech to make to all of ye when I come up again."  
„Aye." McLeith nodded and fixed the wheel before carrying out his captain's orders.

In his cabin, Jack slumped down onto his bed as Elizabeth went to fetch her medical supplies from her cabin, still holding onto his left wrist and contemplating the wound. He didn't look up as Elizabeth came back and sat down beside him on the bed, taking his left hand into her lap. „Was there no other way?", she asked softly and he shook his head.  
„No, it's not like ye can brand it over like with cattle", he said. „I could have cut it out, but that would've been a bit more telltale, I guess. Rope burns, however, are quite common among seafaring men."

Elizabeth nodded slowly as she took a bandage made from clean and smooth linnen. „I'm afraid it will just stick to the wound", she said and Jack shrugged. „It certainly will, and then ye just have to soak it to get it off", he gave back. „It'll stop hurting eventually. Someone is bound to ask me why I keep bandaging me wrist, ye know. Sooner or later. And since I don't particularly fancy hacking the whole hand off…", he trailed off and shrugged again, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth as Elizabeth carefully wound the bandage around his torn and burning flesh. „Sorry", she whispered and Jack managed a smile. „Not your fault. It's all right. I'll do."

When she was done, Elizabeth took his fingers that peeked out from the bandage and brought them to her lips, kissing each fingertip in turn before looking up at Jack's face again. He brought his right hand up to her face and placed it on her cheek with a soft smile. „It's better already", he said and leaned forward to kiss her.  
Still holding on to his left hand, she slung her right arm around his neck and buried her hand in his hair as she opened her lips to him, the coldness that had clung to her bones since the storm suddenly replaced by a warmth that flowed through her veins, spreading the glow in her body from the point where his lips met hers.

Jack broke free from the kiss after a while and leaned back, slightly out of breath. „God, I could just push ye over onto yer back and…" he broke off with a grin. „But not quite yet. I'll have to make that little speech to me crew first." With a heavy sigh he got up, looking down at her. „Will ye come? It concerns you, as well."  
Elizabeth rose with a nod and followed him outside and on deck where the crew had been gathered and were waiting in a tight atmosphere of expectation.

Standing with his back to the helm, he faced his men, some of whom were carrying burning torches, gathered around him in a half-circle. Jack let his eyes wander over the rows of faces, looking each man in the eyes as he did so.

„Ye're a hellish lot", he began. „Ye sail like a crew of devils, and no mistake. But ye're a loyal lot, I have to say that. Some of you have been sailing with me now for more than twenty years." He shot a glance at Ragetti who grinned.

„But all things must end, one way or the other", Jack went on, and a few of the men exchanged glances with the ones next to them. „And today I ask you, all of you, and I want an answer from each of you, and an honest one. Will you settle for a wage instead of your share of the plunder in the future?" He crossed his arms and thrust out his chin, letting his offer sink onto their brains. And after a long pause, he took a slow breath to speak again.

„Captain Jack Sparrow… is dead", he said in a deep and husky voice. „And the Black Pearl… the Black Pearl is a legend."

Again, he looked at each man of his crew before he continued. „But the Jade Star of Barbados is reality, and John McGuyre is her captain. She's a merchantman, and nothing more. You can sail with me, and be honest seamen, or ye can get off in Tortuga if ye can't leave the shadow of the gallows behind." He dropped his arms again. „And now I want you, all of you, to make your decision. Those who want to remain with me, to the starboard railing. Those who want to get off in Tortuga, to the portside." Then he slowly turned around, staring at the helm, his back to the crew.

Elizabeth held her breath as she watched the men exchange unsure glances with each other. But suddenly, Ragetti was the first one to move, and he stepped decidedly to the starboard railing, crossing his arms. Marty followed and after a while, two other men. She felt her heart race as she watched all this happening in eerie silence.  
As no more steps were heard on deck, Jack lifted his chin without turning around. „Have they made up their minds, Lizzie?", he asked softly and Elizabeth nodded. „They have, Captain."

And Jack slowly turned around, to find the whole of his crew, down to the last man, stand at the starboard railing.

Without another word, he took a deep breath and turned around, bend back a loose board behind him and pulled a black and rather tatty piece of cloth out of the gap behind it. Holding it out before him, he looked at his crew again.  
„Torch", he said and Marty took a step forward, holding out the one he was carrying. Jack took the torch with his bandaged left hand and held it to the cloth, watching the flames slowly eat away into the fabric as the pirate flag was catching fire, the flames glowing slightly blue with the burning salt.

„Well, good night, Roger", Jack said in a low whisper and dropped the burning flag over board, just before it would have burned his fingers, where it vanished with a soft hissing sound. „Rest in peace."

After some moments of silence in which Elizabeth swore she heard the sounds of men trying to suppress one sob or another, Jack spoke again, his voice clearer now. „Get yerself below and hold ye Roger's wake", he said to his men. „He went down in a blaze of glory. Drink to that."

And slowly, one by one, the men vanished below deck, but every single one of them cast Jack a glance as he passed him and received a nod in return from their captain.


	33. Chapter 33

Insert standard disclaimer here.

There's a bit more explicit content down here, so know that before ye venture there. I tried not to be smutty. I really did.

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**Chapter 33**

When the last man closed the hatch behind him, Jack stared straight ahead across the deck, taking in the broken foremast, the splintered railing and the torn rigging with a sigh. Elizabeth stepped beside him and looked up at him. „And now?"  
„Now?", he said, lowering his lids. „Now, Lizzie, I'm going to carry ye into my cabin and lock us in."  
„But Captain", she said with a tiny smile. „Wouldn't that be indecent? We are not married, after all."  
„Do I care?", Jack asked her as he took her by the shoulders and brought his face down level to hers. „I'm a…"  
„No, the hell you aren't", Elizabeth interrupted him with a grin. „Not any more."

„Oh bugger", Jack said softly and rested his forehead against hers. „And now ye'll make me wait until we reach land…"  
"Maybe not", Elizabeth replied in a whisper and took his hands in hers as she stepped back, smiling up at him as he narrowed his eyes. „It's what I learned as a child, they do it back in Britain, especially in the north, in Scotland, where churches and priests are scarce", she said. „People will vow a marriage into each other's hand and are considered a married couple until a wandering priest comes by and blesses the union."

Jack slowly raised his face to look at her.

"Handfasting", Elizabeth said and swallowed. „I had a scottish nurse as a child, it's from her I learned that."  
"Handfasting", Jack repeated in a husky voice. „A pledged marriage."  
„I don't know if there are any correct words…" Elizabeth said, licking her lips nervously as she found herself captured in Jack's unreadable eyes which were boring into hers. „But I don't think it will matter. It's not the words that count, but their meaning."  
„So", Jack said, taking a small step back as well so that both their arms were outstretched before them, and another one so that their hands parted. Then he slowly dropped his arms and took a deep breath. „Go on."

Elizabeth swallowed and cleared her throat, trying to calm down her racing heartbeat. She suddenly realised how different this setting was compared to her last marriage which had taken place here, on the very same ship, but then in a raging battle while now there hung an eerie silence around them, the moon occasionally filtering through a hole in the clouds driven across the dark sky by the wind like a flock of sheep running from the wolves.

Not taking her eyes of Jack's, she held out her hands, arms outstretched, palms upwards. Then she took a deep breath and spoke, realising with satisfaction that her voice did not tremble and obeyed her completely. „I, Elizabeth… Swann, take thee, Jack Sparrow…", she began, smiling in response as a corner of his mouth twitched, „…as my husband, to stand by your side, in health and sickness, in good times and in bad, unto death shall us part. So do I swear, and god be my witness."

Jack slowly lifted his hands and placed them in hers, palms down, and she saw the rising and falling of his chest as if he was slightly out of breath. She swallowed as he spoke, his voice was still slightly husky, but strong, nonetheless. He had stopped smiling, however.

„I, Jack Sparrow, take thee, Elizabeth Swann, as my wife", he said and took a small step forward. „To stand by your side, in health and sickness, in good times and in bad, for better or for worse, for what that's worth, in rain and in sunshine…"

"Jack…", Elizabeth chuckled, but he didn't even falter.

„…in storms and easy waters, on land and on sea, in happy and in sad times, in drunkenness and sobriety…"

"Jack!" She almost had to laugh, but Jack took another step forward, making her stumble back so her body was suddenly pressed against the main mast. The smile died on her lips.

„… in daylight and in darkness…"

He stretched out his arms sideways, and hers with them, and Elizabeth felt a sudden lump in her throat by the way he stared at her with those dark, glowing eyes as he went on, their faces now inches apart. She felt the hairs rising on her arms as his voice grew more and more hoarse with each word.

„…until all seas run dry and all mountains crumble to dust…",

He leaned forward even more, his lips hovering over hers so close she felt his breath on her lips.

„…because death shall not part us", he rasped and met her lips with his, bringing her arms upwards and pressing her wrists together against the mast above her head as he kissed her so fiercely that Elizabeth felt close to fainting.

„So do I swear, and the sea, who has been my only goddess for all my life, shall be my witness", he whispered hoarsely as he parted from her, and only then did Elizabeth realise, gasping for air, that the pressure around her wrists were not his hands anymore...

...and that she felt the coldness of metal on her skin.

„Jack?", she asked with a trembling voice as she watched him stand back a little to look her over, a slow and strange smile spreading on his lips.  
„Aye, I've been dreaming of doing this for twenty years, Lizzie", he muttered and pulled out his dagger as he stepped forward again. Elizabeth swallowed, but she didn't flinch and thrust out her chin as he slowly pressed the dagger into the grove of her neck.

„Tell me, Elizabeth, do you trust me?", he said in a low voice, looking at her under lowered lids.  
Elizabeth licked her lips. „Yes, I do", she whispered.  
„Why?"  
_Because I love you. Because you love me. Because you're a good man._ „Because you are."  
He blinked. „Are what?"  
„You."  
„Me?" He smiled and moved the dagger slowly down, not even grazing her skin.  
„You."

„And who is me?" Sliding downwards, the blade made its way across Elizabeth's belly, cutting off the buttons of her shirt in the process. They hit the deck with tiny little clicking noises.  
„The man I love. And the man I desire." She closed her eyes and felt his breath on her right ear.  
„And if I tossed a coin now…", he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine, „…which side would you choose?"  
„Both."  
He leaned back to look at her face with raised eyebrows. „Both?"  
She smiled at him under half-closed lids. „Toss your coin, Captain."

Jack slowly sheathed his knife again and reached into a pocket, and another one, where he found a coin. He shot Elizabeth another glance, tossed it up with a flick of his thumb and caught it on the back of his right hand… where it stayed upright, balancing on the edge.

„And that…", Elizabeth said with a soft smile, „…works only for you, Captain Jack Sparrow, and for no one else."  
Jack slowly lifted up his face, flicked his hand and the coin was gone. „Aye, that works only for me", he replied in a whisper. „Because that's a marked coin with a cut edge."  
„As I said", she gave back. „Only you."  
„Only me", he whispered, leaning forward again to place his lips at the base of her neck where it met the shoulder. Elizabeth closed her eyes with a sigh.

„What else can you tell me about me?", he whispered as he let his lips wander up her neck, past her ear and across her cheek before he let his lips hover above hers.  
„You…", Elizabeth felt her lips burn in hunger for another kiss of him, but his lips were just out of reach of hers. „You make me want you with your sheer being", she whispered and his lips were so close she could feel him smile. „You make me feel like a virgin again, Jack, as if all those years had never passed."  
He moved his lips a tiny bit closer so they brushed hers ever so slightly as he spoke, driving her mad with their closeness while still being out of reach. „And would you have given your maidenhood to a pirate?", he asked while undoing her belt.  
„I don't know", she whispered back, arching her hips to aid him in pulling down her breeches. „But I'm doing it now." She was trembling by now and almost groaned in frustration when his face was suddenly gone, the promise of a kiss burning unfulfilled on her lips.

„Do you?", he asked with a soft chuckle as he knelt before her to pull of her boots and remove the breeches. „Do you?", he asked again as he got up and shrugged of his coat.  
„I do", she whispered as she watched him unbutton his vest and drop it. „I have been with a man only once in my life."  
He lifted his face to look at her, something like dismay in his eyes. „Once?"  
She nodded, unable to remove his eyes from his hands that were unbuttoning his shirt. „When Will came back, we were so… estranged… we never shared a bed before he… left again."

Jack shrugged off his shirt. „What a shame", he said, yet his voice held no mocking, only sadness. „I can't count the times I have been with…", he cleared his throat but went on with a shrug, „… one whore or another while thinking about you. More than a dozen, I guess, must have asked me in the hours of the morning who Elizabeth is, since I cried out her name…"  
„Jack…", Elizabeth whispered, feeling tears burn in her eyes, but he shot her a small and slightly embarrassed grin as he unbuckled his belt while walking up to the mast again. Leaning forward, one hand against the mast to support him, he kicked off his right boot and stepped back again to drop his breeches.

„Do ye like what ye see, luv?", he asked with a smirk as he saw her staring at him with parted lips and hungry eyes. Her mouth suddenly gone dry, her voice was a hoarse whisper as she answered. „I would like it even more if I wouldn't only have to look at it."  
Jack took another step forward with a chuckle. „Your wish be my command, your majesty", he whispered into her ear as he let his hands wander down her flanks and up her belly, resting them on her breasts. Elizabeth took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Jack planted a soft kiss at the grove of her neck and trailed a path up her neck to her chin with the tip of his tongue. „You are so beautiful in the moonlight", he whispered and nibbled her earlobe, making her squirm. „Jack…", she sighed and he chuckled.  
„I love it when ye say me name like that, luv", he breathed into her ear.  
„Jack", Elizabeth sighed again. „Oh god, I want you so much it hurts."  
„Hmm?" He gently bit onto her shoulder. All the while, his hands had not been idle and by now, her nipples were rising up hard against his thumbs. All pain in his wrist forgotten, he kissed her ear again. „Where exactly does it hurt ye, luv?"  
„Where…", she sighed heavily. „Oh god, everywhere…"  
"Everywhere?" He leaned back to look at her face with a smile, yet she still had her eyes closed and was biting her lower lip. „Look at me, Lizzie."

She opened her eyes and gave him such a look of longing and plain hungry desire that he felt his heart beat even faster. „Aye, I see it hurts ye", he whispered hoarsely. „Let me help ye, luv. Is it here?" He let his right hand trail down her belly and rested it on her soft, finely curled locks. She inhaled sharply and nodded.  
„Are ye ready for me then, love?", he asked and moved his hand further down, making her flinch and squirm. „I am", she sighed. Jack please, I…"  
„Are ye…?", Jack whispered and slid one finger between her folds, making her gasp as he touched the centre of her painful longing. „God and devil, ye are", he whispered, trailing his finger in small circular movements. A low moan escaped her lips and her head fell forward, resting on his shoulder. „Jack", she groaned. „Oh god… Jack what are you doing…"  
„You tell me, love", he whispered with a smug grin. „You were telling me things about me."  
„You're killing me", she said in a hoarse and trembling whisper. „You're killing me…"  
„Am I?", he whispered into her ear. „Want me to stop?" And he stopped. Elizabeth shuddered and made a sound he could only describe as a whine. „No?", he asked and continued what he had been doing.

„Jack, you're cruel", she wailed softly, and her whole body was trembling now. „What are you doing to me… what…" She broke off , gasping for air, and Jack leaned back to look at her face when she suddenly stopped breathing and stared at him with slowly widening eyes. He felt her whole body suddenly tense, and caught by surprise that this was happening so suddenly, pressed his lips on hers just in time to stifle her scream, turning it into a muffled groan with his kiss.

Feeling her body grow limp, he pressed her against the mast with his own and reached up to fiddle with the shackles, slowly breaking the kiss to allow for her breathing. „Lizzie", he whispered, trembling as well now because for a second, he almost believed he had truly killed her. „Lizzie?" His eyes widened as she lifted her head and stared at him, tears streaming down her face. „Jack", she whispered. „What have you done to me?" Her hands coming free from the shackles, she slung them around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him ravishingly without waiting for an answer. Her kiss tasted of salt.

„Lizzie", he whispered between kisses. „Put yer legs around me, luv. Aye…" He was breathing heavily now as well as she slung her legs around his hips, only held by his body pressing her to the mast and his hands holding her hips.  
„Jack", she whispered. „I need you… Jack… I need you…"  
„Aye", he rasped as he cautiously moved his hips, making her gasp for air again as he slowly entered her. „Ye shall have me luv, body and soul. Oh holy mother of god…" And he had to close his eyes and stop speaking as he gently moved inside her, their rasping, heavy breathing the only sound for a while.

"Jack", she gasped after a while. „Jack…  
"What is it, luv?", he asked, tilting back his head to look at her without stopping what he was doing, he couldn't have stopped had his life depended on it.  
„Look at me", she whispered, pressing her hands on his cheeks. „Look at me, Jack", she repeated and he swallowed but could only obey, staring into her eyes as the pressure built up more and more inside him. She stared at him, open-mouthed, breathing heavily and fast, and her lips came crashing down on his the moment his tension broke free, stifling his cry of lust with her kiss now.

Jack had to break the kiss and now it was his turn to gasp for air a couple of times, then he dropped his head onto her shoulder, feeling close to weeping himself now. „God, Lizzie…", he muttered hoarsely. „That's not healthy for a man my age."  
She chuckled. „What age?"  
He slowly lifted his head, trying to catch back his breath, unable to answer for a second.  
„I feel twenty years and not a day older", Elizabeth said with a grin and traced the outline of his cheeks with her fingers.  
Jack had to grin as well. „Aye", he said, still out of breath. „Ye certainly look it."

They both looked at each other, catching back their breath, smiling at first, but as Elizabeth started to grin Jack had to, as well. Suddenly they were chuckling, and before either of them could say what was so funny, they both burst out laughing, holding on to each other as if their life depended on it. Only very slowly, they both calmed down, yet every time one looked at the other, they both snorted and chuckled again.

Cautiously, Jack finally let go of her and took a step back. „You all right, luv?"  
She nodded and smiled, even if she felt very unsteady, her legs, if wobbly, did indeed carry her weight. „Never been better", she said and chuckled again, making him grin as he picked up the various items of scattered wardrobe.

„Do ye want to dress before going below or do ye want to take the chance of being seen by one of me men, thus taking the chance of blinding him?", he asked with a grin and Elizabeth took the offered clothes he held out to her. „It would be a waste of time, wouldn't it, to dress now only to undress again as soon as we're down? I'll take my chances, Captain."  
„Mercy on the eyes of whomever we might encounter", Jack muttered as he opened the latch and peeked cautiously down. Seeing no one, he gestured her to follow him and winked. "I'd dare say the last thing any of them wants to see is their captain's naked arse."


	34. Chapter 34

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Please don't eat me alive…

I've had tears in my eyes while writing this chapter, and that goes for part one AND part two.

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**Chapter 34**

When Jack awoke in the middle of the night, he realised something was wrong.

Someone was lying beside him, but he was still on his ship, and he never had taken a whore with him on board into his cabin… so either he wasn't on his ship and he was still drunk, thus the rocking motion under him, or he was, and he was in a heap of trouble…

He cautiously opened his eyes and peeked at the face beside him.

He hadn't been prepared for the feelings welling up inside him as he saw Elizabeth's face, still soft and relaxed, on the pillow beside him. A sight he had never believed to see. Elizabeth, lying in his bed, sleeping peacefully, curled up contentedly beside his own body, both of them naked as god had made them. He fought the urge to kiss her awake and make love to her again, but just because she slept so deeply and he felt the need to let her sleep.

He watched her face for a while, trying to find out what had awoken him. But it might well be that it had been the usual, odd feeling of uneasiness that befell him ever so often, that had been with him for most of his life, a strange sense of urgency that would awake him no matter how soundly he slept, no matter where, and no matter who was sleeping beside him. Knowing that there was only one way to quench that uneasy feeling of itchiness in the back of his head, he slowly slid out of the bed, careful not to disturb Elizabeth's sleep. He dressed as noiselessly as he could and managed, despite the wooden leg, to walk so silently out of the cabin that she didn't even stir.

All was quiet on deck, and even though there was hardly any wind and practically no waves, even with the tied up sails and the fixed wheel at the helm, Jack walked across the deck to take the helm, closing his fingers around the spokes.  
Only then did he feel the peace return to his soul. It was as if the ship, his only true love for so long a time, occasionally called for him, to make him look at her, to make sure that she still had a place in his heart.

She always had. Smiling to himself, he let his eyes wander across the deck. Yes, even with the makeover that was not even completed yet, even with the white sails and the paint, and right now, with the damage from the storm and the broken foremast, she was the love of his life. His freedom. His salvation.

His trinity. He swallowed but smiled, taking a deep breath as he felt gooseflesh crawl all over his body. His trinity. He wasn't a man of faith, he had never been. The sea had been his only goddess for all of his life. His goddess. And his ship his salvation.

And now, he had her. His holy ghost. His protecting spirit. His guiding star. His Lizzie.

All he ever needed to believe in. The sea, his ship, and Elizabeth.

The ship rocked gently on the surf and Jack let his eyes wander past the railing, towards the horizon where the moon was about to set sail on the darkness of the glittering waves. There it was again, the little piece of magic he had told Elizabeth about when he had first asked her to sail away with him.

The stairway to heaven. The moon hung so low in the sky now that the glittering band of silvery light on the waves stretched out almost infinitely, and as the ship turned slightly on the surf, she drifted directly into the band of reflected moonlight.

„Aye, with a ship, you can touch the stairway to heaven", Jack whispered and caressed the spokes with his fingers, closing his eyes as he did so. What he saw when he closed his eyes was Elizabeth, her face, sleeping so peacefully in his arms, and he smiled to himself as he slowly let go of the wheel and made his way down to the deck again. He felt the sudden urge to get below, get back into bed, into the little nest of blankets and pillows that would still be warm from her body… until he saw someone stand at the bow.

He cautiously took a few steps towards the mast, narrowing his eyes. That was not a man of his crew, he was too finely dressed, and no one of them had a shirt as clean as that. He took another step, reaching for the pistol in his sash without which he never left his cabin.  
„Who are you?", he asked as he reached the bow, realising only as he did so that he probably should have asked where the hell he had come from.

The man turned around.

Feeling a trail of ice crawl down his spine, his face drained of all colour, Jack took a small step back and tried to get himself under control again at the sight of the face looking at him. „Hello Will", he said weakly.  
"Jack", Will said with a sad smile, looking him up and down. „I see life has not been all kind to you."  
Jack swallowed. „Not exclusively, no", he said, putting his pistol back. „Eh… what brings you… here?"  
Will looked at him intensely and more than a little sad. „Is she happy?"  
Swallowing again, Jack blinked several times. „I can't look inside her head, Will, but I'd dare say she is." There certainly was no need to ask as whom_ she_ was.

„I so hope she is", Will gave back, slowly looking down. „It seems that all I have ever brought her was sadness. I had to… leave her behind right after our wedding, and when I finally was able to come back, I had to leave her again. For good."  
„I'm sorry, Will", Jack muttered, and Will lifted his face again to look at him, slowly raising his eyebrows. „Are you?", he asked. „Captain Jack Sparrow is sorry about something? Or for someone?"  
Jack took a deep breath. „I am sorry", he said again. „I am."  
"For me? Or for her?" Yet he did not sound accusing.  
„For both of ye", Jack replied and Will tilted his head. „For her, certainly", Jack went on with a shrug. „For what she had to suffer. And for you, mate, because now…" He broke off and cleared his throat. He had suddenly realised, looking at Will again, how young the other man looked. Not older than Billy did. Because as he had died, he hadn't been much older. „Because now…", he went on, a little hoarsely, „…now I know what you have lost, Will."

Will nodded slowly with a sad frown. „I only ever wanted to make her happy. And I ever only made her sad. May god forgive me, I love her so much, but I only caused her pain."  
„I'm sure she doesn't hold it against ye", Jack said slowly.  
Will sighed. „What makes you think so?"  
„The fact she still shed tears for ye even ten years after ye had died", he replied. „She told me how much she had loved ye. And I don't think that has stopped, mate."  
Will slowly lifted his eyebrows, a ghost of a smile on his lips. „Hasn't it?"  
Jack smiled weakly and shrugged. „No, I don't think so. Because you have a place in her heart that I can't get into. And the other way round, I'd dare say."  
At these words, Will actually smiled. „"Do you really think so?"

With a mute nod, Jack looked at Will's face. He was silent for a while before he was able to speak again. „Will, is there anything I can do to make ye rest in peace?"  
Will looked up with an expression that was cast half in doubt and half in hope. „Why would you do that?"  
"Because…", Jack said, slightly opening his arms, „…I've a favour to return?"  
„A favour?"  
„Well, maybe not precisely a favour." Jack shrugged and sighed. „Will, I'm actually running out of words here, and even for you, being dead and all, that should be a satisfying sight."  
He grinned a little sheepishly and Will smiled with a little twinge of sadness in his eyes.  
„Heck, I have what you can't have anymore", Jack went on. „Your bad luck was my good fortune. And ye were… well, sort of a friend."  
„Sort of a friend?", Will said, almost chuckling. „That's a Jack Sparrow thing to say, truly."  
„Well." Jack shrugged again, not knowing what else to say.

"Yes, you can do something for me", Will said after a while, and Jack looked up again. „You can make her happy", he said, and Jack twitched a corner of his mouth into a lopsided smile.  
„I'll promise I'll do my very best", he said. „I'll make her as happy as I can, Will."  
Will smiled. „I wish you luck, Jack", he said and took a step back. „Luck and steady winds. Take good care of her. Make her happy."  
„I will", Jack said, feeling the hairs on hs arms rise as he watched Will take another step back into the fog beyond the railing as if the wood didn't exist. „Rest in peace."  
„Now I can", he heard the voice coming from the rising fog. „Thank you, Jack."

„Jack?"  
Jack spun around on his heel, his heart almost stopping at the sound of her voice. „Lizzie…"  
"Whom have you been talking to?", she asked as she hurried across the deck, clad only in a thin shift. „I heard you talk to…"  
"… I … was …"  
„I heard…" she stopped before him, her eyes brimming with tears. „I heard the voice of Will…"  
Jack swallowed. „I…"  
„Where is he?"  
„Where he is? God, Lizzie, he's dead!"  
„But I heard you talking to him!" She clenched both her fists, staring up at him with tears breaking free from her eyes. „Where is he?"

Jack took a deep breath and put his hands on her shoulders to calm her. „He's gone", he said as gently as he could. „He's gone again, I'm sorry."  
„Jack", she whispered hoarsely. „Where…"  
"I don't know. But I'd dare say to a better place. Please, Elizabeth…"  
„Where is he?", she asked again, trembling under his hands. Jack shook his head. „He's gone, Lizzie, please, I'm sorry…"  
„He didn't talk to me", Elizabeth whispered, staring at Jack with so much pain in her eyes that he felt his heart clench. „He could have said good bye."  
Jack cleared his throat. „Maybe… maybe he didn't want to do that because… he didn't want to make you… sad… again."  
"But I wanted to say farewell…", Elizabeth sobbed, burying her face in her hands. „God, Jack, forgive me…"  
"Shhh", he said gently, pulling her close. She didn't resist. „Do it now, luv. Maybe he still hears ye."

Trying to stifle her sobs, Elizabeth broke free from his embrace with a wrench and turned around, gripping the railing with both hands.  
„Farewell", she whispered into the fog. „Farewell, Will, my love. I will never forget you. Rest in peace. You have a wonderful son, and he is much like you, and he has made me happy." She sobbed again and wiped her eyes. „I love you, Will. I really do. But I also love Jack. Forgive me that I couldn't stay true to you for another ten years. You will always have a place in my heart, I swear… Farewell..." She broke off with a hoarse sob and covered her eyes with one hand, holding on to the railing with the other as if she had to keep herself from falling over.

Jack watched her with a sore heart. After a few deep breaths, he stepped slowly behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. „Lizzie", he whispered softly. „Do ye want to be alone right now, or do ye need me?"  
Elizabeth took a deep breath that ended in another sob. „I need you, Jack. But I need to be alone now, please forgive me." She turned around, her face wet with tears. „I'm sorry…"  
"Don't be, love", Jack whispered and took a step back. „Don't be." He swallowed. „I'll just head below and…" He took another step back and turned, but looked back at her over his shoulder. „Ye know where to find me", he said with a sad smile and walked towards the hatch without another look back.

Elizabeth watched him go with a sob and turned again to stare across the sea, holding on to the railing with both hands. „I still miss you", she whispered. „Every now and then, it will hurt, thinking of you." She reached up and wound a small strand of hair around her finger, then ripped it out with a quick wrench. „I can't bring you a flower for your grave", she said, smiling down at the sea through her tears. „But I will never forget you, William Turner. Ever."

She dropped the lock, watching it drift in the wind before it landed on the water. A soft breeze sprang up and ruffled her hair, and she didn't make any effort to hold back her tears any more as she closed her eyes and held her face into the wind.

x x x x x x x x

Staring at the ceiling, Jack lay in his bed and felt cold. Cold because he was alone, cold because it was no warm caribbean night around him and cold because there was no one beside him to help him warm his heart. Seeing Elizabeth like that had frozen the marrow of his bones. And for the first time since he had seen her again after all those years he asked himself if he really had made a mistake in never coming back for her.

She had needed to come by herself, when she had felt ready to let go of her grief enough to open her heart again to someone else. Had he come before that, he was suddenly sure of it, he had only been locked out for good. She had truly loved Will, after all. And a wound like that was none that would easily heal.

He forced himself to relax his jaws, he had been gritting his teeth for some time and now all his teeth hurt as if he had been biting on a piece of metal. She would come back, he kept telling himself. She would. Only how long it would take her, he couldn't say. Maybe a few days, or a couple of weeks…

His heart skipped a beat when he heard the door open and the bolt slid into place.  
„Jack?"  
He sat up, looking at her.  
„I'm cold" she whispered. „Can I…"  
He wordlessly moved aside and lifted a corner of the blanket. With a smile, she wiped her eyes again and pulled the shift over her head, the crawled under the blanket beside him.  
Jack flinched. „God, Lizzie, ye're as cold as a dead fish…"  
She snuggled close to him. „And you're so warm", she sighed, kissing his shoulder which made him shudder.  
„Jack", she whispered and he half-turned to look at her. „Make me forget", she begged. „Please. I'm so cold."

Looking at her, she knew that the second time, she hadn't been talking about the coldness of her skin. But even if he felt sad for her being in such pain, he felt happiness and relief wash over him that she had come back to him so soon. He closed his arms around her and kissed her, pressing her to his body to share his warmth with her.

Then he wordlessly rolled on top of her as outside, the moon disappeared into the waves.

x x x x x x x x

Jack awoke again with the first rays of sunshine trailing through the window and slowly sat up. Elizabeth was still fast asleep beside him, and he watched her sleeping face with a smile before he hung his legs out of the bed to start the day. The day, he decided as he got up, buckling his belt, that he would go down the road he had started to go. To the end, this time.

Not bothering with a shirt he fetched the box with his shaving gear, for even if he used to have a beard, that needed to be trimmed and kept in form. He propped up the mirror on the table before him and watched his face with a deep breath. Deciding that he could keep the beard, even without the twin braids at his chin he still sorely missed whenever he looked at himself, he faced the inevitable fact that the rest would have to be sacrificed like they had been.

Yet even with his mind made up, he could only move very reluctantly as he picked up one of his dreadlocks with one hand and the razor with the other. Taking a deep breath, realising he made a terrible face as he did so, he closed his eyes and lifted the blade.

"Jack?"  
He opened his eyes again and dropped the hair, slowly turning around. „Aye?"  
Elizabeth sat up in the bed, giving him a strange look. „What are you doing?"  
Jack shrugged. „My ship's not the only thing in need of a makeover to keep up this charade, Lizzie. Time to put that old pirate to rest, at long last."

She blinked and slowly hung her legs out of the bed, staring at him with a look he couldn't identify. She walked over to the heap of his clothing and picked up his shirt, pulling it over her head as she walked over to him.  
„Are you sure…?", she asked softly as she ran a hand through his hair, winding one dreadlock around her finger.  
Jack shrugged again. „Not much of a chance with me being an honourable member of society with…", he picked up another one. „…this."  
Elizabeth blinked and swallowed, but nodded slowly as she did so. „I see", she whispered. „Would you want me to help you?"  
It was Jack's turn to swallow now. „If ye can", he replied, looking into the mirror again. „I've got the feeling I don't… really… can…"

Wordlessly, Elizabeth walked over to the bed where the little crate still stood that held her medical supplies. She knelt down and opened it, rummaged around in it and straightened up again with a pair of scissors in her hand. She walked back to the table and looked at Jack, blinking several times. „I'm not sure I can", she whispered. „But if you ask me to, I will…"  
"Please", he gave back and cleared his throat. Elizabeth slowly nodded and took one of his dreadlocks. Suddenly, Jack had to close his eyes.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, and Jack could hear the sound of the scissors cutting through his hair although the crew had awoken by now and was on their way on deck. He opened his eyes again when he heard Elizabeth drop the strand of hair and looked at her. She was blinking tears out of her eyes, and suddenly, he almost felt like weeping himself.

„Lizzie, please…", he began. „It's just hair…"  
"I know", she gave back and picked up another dreadlock. „It's just… so much you…"  
„Well." Jack swallowed and looked at his face in the mirror again. „True, but…" He sighed and searched for her eyes in the mirror. She looked at him and then he shrugged. „Just do it."  
Elizabeth nodded and tried to calm herself down, and Jack closed his eyes again. Another lock hit the floor with a soft sound.  
„God, Jack, I've got the feeling I'm killing you again…"  
„Ye have to", Jack gave back, eyes still closed. „Ye can't really retire a pirate captain, ye know… ye have to kill him. Sorry, luv."

Jack couldn't bring himself to open his eyes again as Elizabeth slowly cut off his hair, strand by strand, and tried to pretend nothing happened even though the back of his neck began to feel strangely exposed, the skin on his head began to feel strangely cool and his head began to feel strangely light.

It became harder when she got to the parts of his hair that were neither braided nor felted up in dreadlocks, for he could feel the hair, brushing his face one second, gone the next, and he had to grit his teeth to refrain himself from yelling at her to stop. By now it was far too late anyway, and he probably would have looked fairly stupid, he kept telling himself. It didn't make things any easier to bear, though.

„Done", he heard her voice after a while, hoarse and strangely toneless, and he hesitatingly opened his eyes. She put down the scissors beside the mirror.

It wasn't as bad as he had expected. She had cut off the dreadlocks as far away from his scalp as possible, so he was not completely bald but was left with about an inch of hair. But looking at himself, his unlined eyes, the shorn hair and the cropped beard, he suddenly realised he was looking at a face he hadn't seen for almost thirty years

_Hello John,_ he thought with a strange smile. _Been a while…_

He looked up at Elizabeth who was still standing behind him and realised her face was moist with tears. She tried to smile at him and ran a hand through his hair. It made him shudder as she brushed the stubbles of hair backwards.  
"God, Jack, you look awfully strange", she whispered and blinked another tear away.  
With a mental and a physical wrench, Jack tore himself away from the mirror and got up. „But it's still me, Lizzie", he said with more brightness than he felt, to reassure himself as much as her that this was the case.

„I know", she whispered. „Your eyes haven't changed at all."  
„Why should they", he murmured, closing his arms around her. „It's all a makeover, it's… what did you call it? A farce."  
„And you said John McGuyre isn't a farce."  
Jack leaned forward, slightly irritated that there was no hair falling forward and obscuring his vision sideways. „He isn't. He's me. Now. Again."  
„You", Elizabeth said, looking into his eyes as if searching for someone. „And who are you, now?"  
„You tell me", Jack whispered as he leaned closer to brush her lips with his. „Who is me?"

„You", she whispered with a chuckle and kissed him, the tears drying on her cheeks as he pushed her back onto the bed.


	35. Chapter 35

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 35**

When they finally emerged on deck it was already bright noon outside, and with relief they realised that finally, they had reached the Caribbean again and would be home in a matter of days. Jack wasn't sure yet what ‚home' really meant, but he wanted to think of it as the place wherever he would finally settle down with her. Elizabeth… his Lizzie. She smiled at him as if she had heard him say her name and he winked as he went to take the helm.

Walking up the stairs, Jack didn't blame the men of his crew a bit for staring at him as if he was naked and painted all blue. He did look awfully strange without his hair yet he tried to be cheerful, feeling determined not to let a matter as this drag him down. He was not the man to do that. There was just no point.

The crew hadn't been idle during the morning they had spent in his cabin; the rigging was mostly mended and they took to the winds fairly quickly even without the foremast. Elizabeth looked around and tried to think of something she could do to help when she noticed Ragetti walking up to her, grinning his unsettling grin. Unsettling even more due to his glass eye.

„Yes?", she asked as he reached her, irritated beyond herself by the way he looked at her. It was unnerving to be looked at by him.  
He held out his hand to her, closed around something she couldn't see. Looking at his hand, then back at his unsettling eyes again she lifted her eyebrows. „What is it?"  
„Yours", he said with a smirk. „Oi guess."  
Hesitatingly, she held out her hands under his fist and blinked as he opened his fingers and a handful of tiny white buttons landed on her palm. She swallowed and looked up again.  
Ragetti grinned. „Found them on deck", he said and winked. For a second, his face was easier to bear.

„Thank you", Elizabeth said with an embarrassed smile and by the way he looked at her, she was suddenly sure that he knew something… and she was sure she didn't want to know what exactly it was he had seen. He lifted his eyebrows and Elizabeth decided to change the subject as she stowed the buttons away in her pocket. „Ragetti, can I ask you something?"  
"Sure."  
„Why…" How to put it? Best put it bluntly. „Why did you get yourself a green glass eye?" That alone was a hint to the wealth this ship had produced for her crew over the years. What pirate could possibly afford a glass eye?

„Why not?" His grin widened. „Oi like green."  
„But your own eye is blue", she said with an irritating mixture of amusement and confusion.  
Yet Ragetti just shrugged, his grin widening even more. "Oi like green", he said again.  
"But they don't match!" Elizabeth felt close to laughing. Maybe she was just getting hysterical.  
Ragetti leaned a little closer and winked conspiratively. „Goes well wi'the ladies", he said and walked off, leaving Elizabeth stare at his back. She shook herself like a wet dog to get rid of the strange feeling his eyes had left in her and walked up to the helm.

„Jack, is there something I can do?", she asked as she mounted the stairs.  
He grinned at her. „Indeed ye can, luv", he said with a smile. „Ye can keep me company."  
Elizabeth grinned and crossed her arms, leaning her backside against the railing as she did so. „Anything else? Want me to tell you some jokes to cheer you up?"  
Jack flashed her a glittering grin over his shoulder. „Do I look as if I'd be in the need of cheering up?"  
„Not precisely", she gave back with a smile. „You seem to recover far more quickly and efficiently from any blows dealt to you than any other man could, I'd dare say."  
He looked ahead again. "What kind of blow are ye referring to, luv?"  
„Mental ones, mostly", Elizabeth replied and he looked at her again with a lopsided grin and a shrug.  
„Well, no turning back, is there", he said, leaving it for her to figure out if he was talking about the decision to go all the way in becoming an honest merchant or the cutting of his hair. Probably both.

„Jack?"  
„Aye?"  
She swallowed, but she had to ask. „Do you think you can be happy?"  
Instead of an straight answer, he slowly turned his head again to look at her. „Come here, luv." He wasn't smiling any more and his voice was gentle, but serious.  
Smiling shyly, she pushed herself forward from the railing and walked up to him. He held out his left arm to her and she stepped into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.  
„I know that sounds a bit soppy, that's why I want to say it for your ears alone", he murmured into her hair after kissing the top of her head. „With you at my side, I couldn't possibly not be happy, no matter where I go and how silly I have to dress meself up."

She lifted her face to look at him and he flashed her a tiny, embarrassed grin before looking ahead again. He lifted his arm over her head and took the wheel in both hands. „The long and the short story of it is, Lizzie, that I don't care much what happens next as long as ye'll stay with me. A bit of a shame it took me so long to realise, but there ye are.„Long enough", Elizabeth said, leaning against him with her head on his arm. He looked down at her and she smiled up at him. „Somehow, by now I believe we wouldn't have been ready for it, had we tried it earlier."

Jack gave her a long, considering look. „And ye know, I can only agree. We were both as proud as we were stubborn back then, and that's no easy combination to handle…", He flashed her a grin that softened into a smile as he went on. „And if so, then the years that have passed made us able to finally cope with each other. That and… well…" He broke off and shrugged uneasily. „And Will", he finally said, looking straight ahead again. „Ye had to be able to let him go, first of all."

Elizabeth slipped her arms through his, holding on to him as if she was a frightened child. „What did he say to you?", she asked in a whisper.  
Jack took a deep breath. „Ye know, if it hadn't been for you, I would by now swear it all had been a dream." He tried to recall what exactly had been said last night. „Basically, he said he was sorry to have caused ye so much pain", he said, cautiously looking down at her. Yet she stared unmovingly ahead.  
„He said he was sorry to have left you behind twice, causing you pain. He said he only ever wanted you to be happy."  
„I know he did", she whispered. „I knew that. Is that all?"  
„No", Jack replied in a low voice. „He asked me to take care of ye, luv. And make ye happy." He looked down again and waited for her to look at him again. „I promised", he said with a strange smile. „I promised him I would make ye happy, luv."

She stared at him for a while, and he was almost expecting her to start weeping again, yet she didn't. He couldn't quite identify the feeling in her eyes, but she didn't cry, and after a while, she sighed and reached up to touch his cheek. „I am", she said with her eyes closed and Jack wasn't sure that she was talking to him. He kissed her fingers, though, and she opened her eyes again, smiling up at him.

He let go of the wheel to pull her close, hugging her to his chest for a moment before taking the spokes again. He couldn't think of something to say, but then, there probably was no need for words any more right now. She leaned against his arm again and he looked straight ahead with a slow smile spreading on his face.

„Ship ahoy! Astern!"

The cry of the man in the crow's nest broke the spell of his thoughts and he turned his head to look behind him. A sail was showing at the horizon, gaining on them quite swiftly. Jack narrowed his eyes, trying to make out any details. If it was a pirate, things didn't look too bad, they were in no position to escape them with the broken foremast but the ship was well armed and very solidly built.

„What do ye see!", Jack yelled up at the man in the crow's nest and stared over his shoulder again at their pursuer.  
„A Jolly Roger! Avast! It's the damn bird of bad luck!", the man cried and Jack slowly narrowed his eyes again. „It's the Albatross, I'll be damned!"  
„Well fancy that", Jack muttered and Elizabeth took a step back from him at the sound of his voice, cold as ice and heavy as granite. „Fancy meeting you again so soon… Captain… Sparrow…"

x x x x x x x x

„They're not even trying to flee!"

Imogen narrowed her eyes and took out her spyglass. The ship looked a little worse for wear, truly, and maybe her captain knew that even with all masts intact, escaping a bark under full sail could be tricky with a brigantine and only possible when she had no load on board. Maybe he was hoping that if he surrendered, she would leave him his ship, and she almost felt sorry for him for a second. She did not leave any witnesses behind and she would not start to do so now.

She let her spyglass sink as she saw the ship fly the white flag and shook her head. „Bring us alongside!", she yelled and the crew sprang into action at her command. She went to take the helm, but as she stared across the leagues of water towards the other ship, something struck her as odd and she yelled for Henningsen to take the helm instead as she took her spyglass to her eye again.

The ship looked… oddly familiar. „Bloody hell…" She let the spyglass sink. It was the Pearl.

„Fly the flag of parley!", she screamed as she jumped up the stairs to the helm. „It's me father's ship!" Wrenching the wheel around, she brought the Albatross directly before the wind, holding straight for the Pearl without bothering about defences. It never occurred to her that she would need any.

The more it took her by surprise as the Pearl suddenly fired, but just before they were actually in reach of her cannons.

With an angry scream, Imogen wrenched the wheel around and brought the Albatross headwise again, as not to expose her broadsided to the other ship any further. They didn't fire a second row, however, and even as she wondered what the hell her father was up to, she saw the hatches close again. Cruising around the Pearl, she brought the Albatross slowly closer, but as there seemed no more aggression to follow, she finally brought her alongside and told Henningsen to take the helm again.

The shots had made her weary, however, and she slowly walked to the railing to look across the deck of the Pearl, her eyes searching for Jack. It took her a while to realise, though, that the man who was looking at her with crossed arms was her father, and it was only his wooden leg that gave her the clue. She almost didn't recognise him, even as he spoke. „Permission to come aboard, Captain?"

She swallowed and nodded, watching him jump the railing. „Jack, what the hell has happened to ye…" She couldn't finish her sentence, for the moment Jack had reached her, he planted his fist right into her face, making her stagger backwards with a painful gasp. She stared at him as she straightened up again and mutely shook her head as she touched her temple and felt the eye begin to swell almost instantly.

Behind her, the crew of the Albatross watched this… _family matter_… mutely, the men exchanging uncomfortable glances with each other.

"That was for the broken rib", Jack snarled and Imogen flinched. „I'm sorry Jack…" she began, but he cut her short with two heavy slaps in her face that made both her cheeks burn. „And that was for kicking an unconscious man", he went on, his voice hoarse with anger. „And by god, if it weren't for yer child, I'd beat ye senseless."  
„Jack!", she began again, clenching both her fists and he narrowed his eyes. Imogen felt something cold grip for her belly and slowly took a small step back. He had never looked at her like that.

His eyes, usually warm brown, even in his anger, had turned into obsidian, cold and harsh and frightening. „Jack?", he asked, taking a step back himself. „You must be mistaken. My name is John McGuyre. Jack Sparrow, sweetheart, is dead."  
Imogen shook her head again. „Dad…?"  
Jack turned around again as he reached the railing. „You are mistaken again", he said darkly. „I do not have a daughter." Then he turned and jumped the railing again to his own ship, leaving Imogen stare after him with burning eyes.

Elizabeth had watched this with the cold feeling of dread, and she had to admit that right now, she was scared of Jack herself by the way his eyes glowed with unmasked anger. Yet she stepped towards the railing now as well, looking Imogen over. The swelling of her belly was now clear to see, but what she failed to see was Bill.

„Imogen", she asked as she reached the railing, standing beside Jack. „Where is Billy?"  
Imogen paled and swallowed. Her cheeks, red from Jack's heavy slaps, burned even more now. „He went… left my crew in Tortuga", she said, clenching and opening her fists.  
Elizabeth heard Jack snort beside her. „What did ye do to him? Have ye had him flogged because of disobedience?"

During the heavy silence that followed, Elizabeth suddenly realised that not only Imogen hadn't answered but that she had also paled even more and that her lips were trembling now.

„God, they should've drowned ye the day ye were born like the bitch ye are", Jack snarled and turned around, heading for the helm. „Course south!", he yelled as he gripped the wheel and added in a low voice „Let's get out of here."

Elizabeth still stared at Imogen who hadn't taken her eyes off Jack, but then the ship leaned into the wind and gained speed, and Elizabeth watched the Albatross grow smaller and smaller without anyone on her deck moving. They didn't follow them, and after a while, Elizabeth was able to wrench her eyes away from the shrinking outline and walked towards the helm, realising that her heart had turned to stone during the last minutes.

In the desperate attempt to get her mind off the image of her son with a back criss-crossed with the scars of flogging, she focused on another problem, instead.  
„Jack", she said as she reached him at the helm. He didn't look at her. „Lizzie?"  
„Isn't… wouldn't this…" She broke off, trying of a way to phrase it. „I can totally understand your anger, Jack but…"  
„But what?" He still didn't look at her. „Think I shouldn't have slapped her?"  
„I didn't say that", she gave back, dragging a hand across her face. „But doing so before her whole crew… isn't that going to…"  
„Cause a problem? It might", he said cheerfully. „Never does any captain good to have his authority undermined. Leads to mutiny." He looked at her and Elizabeth swallowed, for the grin on Jack's face could only be described as evil. „But then, being marooned on a little tropical island never hurt anyone, has it?"

x x x x x x x x

When Imogen was finally able to unfreeze herself again, she ordered her crew with a stony voice to get moving again and took the helm, heading north just to get as much distance between her ship and the Pearl as she could.

Billy had left the Albatross the first night in Tortuga and had vanished without so much as a goodbye, but maybe it was better like that. She would only have begged him to stay, and he had spared the both of them that ugly scene. She wiped her eyes and, staring straight ahead, she couldn't help but remember the last night in Tortuga before she had left the harbour. She had found herself a small and murky sink hole to get drunk without being questioned and had sat down in a corner with her two bottles to wash down her sorrow and disappointment.

_Heavy steps coming for her table made her look up. Before her stood a broad figure, clad in a dark, heavy cloak. Imogen narrowed her eyes as the stranger leaned forward, the face coming into view in the light of the single candle on the table.  
_„_What do ye want?", she asked the woman who looked her over and then took the pipe from her mouth. „You Captain Sparrow?"  
_„_Who's asking?"  
__The woman sat down and took a deep breath out of her pipe. „Red Morgan's the name."_

„_Can't say I ever heard that name." She took a sip of her rum. „And I can't remember having invited ye to share me table."  
__Morgan chuckled dryly. „Ye haven't lass, but then, I don't wait to be invited. Ye don't know who I am? Ever heard of Morgan's brats?"  
__Imogen narrowed her eyes. „Now that rings a bell. That you?"  
_„_Ah, I thought so. Yes, that's me."  
_"_So what do ye want of me?", Imogen asked the woman to whom seemingly all thiefs and pickpockets of Tortuga reported as their master._

_Morgan leaned back and crossed the arms in front of her ample chest. „Naught more than laying me eyes on the daughter of a friend", she said with a wry smile, even more so since she still held the pipe in the left corner of her mouth. „Heard ye got yer ship back… for a price, though."  
_„_Can't say it's been a bad deal", Imogen said. The woman was beginning to annoy her.  
_„_No?", Morgan leaned forward again and rested her elbows on the table. „I thought life as a pirate was all about having to report to no one."  
__Imogen leaned forward as well. „I see it as always having a safe harbour to sail into without facing the gallows."  
__Morgan lifted one eyebrow. „Well, for a while, sure enough", she said. „And how long d'ye think they'll have need of ye? How long until they decide that it's no good idea anymore to employ a privateer? Might be even next time ye hit Curacao again the dream of a safe harbour is over, lass."  
_„_Captain", Imogen snapped. „Captain Sparrow."  
_„_Funny old world… suddenly there's only one Sparrow left in the Caribbean again…", Morgan said with a chuckle, taking the pipe out of her mouth. „So, Captain Sparrow, how do ye know yer agreement isn't over?"_

_Imogen blinked and pursed her lips and Morgan narrowed her brows, lifting the pipe back up again. „I see ye didn't quite think this through", she said slowly and clamped her lips around the pipe stem. „Shame about that pretty neck of yours. Any messages ye want me to give to yer sire?"  
__Imogen took a deep breath and took another sip of her rum. „If I ever need to get in touch with him, I am quite capable of doing that meself", she said. „Is there a particular reason why you just sit down at me table insulting me?"  
__Morgan took a deep breath out of her pipe and let the smoke slowly escape through her nose. „I wasn't insulting ye", she said slowly. „I was just wondering why yer father let ye take over such a stupid suicide mission."  
_„_My father…", Imogen snarled, „… is an ageing pirate pining for times gone by and doesn't want to understand that times change. He lives in the past and thinks everything was better back then. He couldn't cope with me doing things differently than he would do them."_

„_Understandably", Morgan said and leaned back, then propped her boots up on the table, crossing her legs. She took another deep breath out of her pipe and gave Imogen a long look under narrowed brows. „He would never have been so stupid as to agree to something like that without a backup plan to save his neck should aught go amiss."  
_„_I've had quite enough of yer insults", Imogen growled and pulled out her pistol, aiming it at Morgan's face. „Ye stinking fat old bitch."  
__Morgan didn't move a muscle in her face and blew a cloud of smoke out of her nose. „Is that all you can come up with?", she asked and crossed her hands on her belly. „No wonder you were so easily bought."_

_Imogen cocked the weapon with a angry snort._

„_Go ahead. Make my day." Morgan sucked at her pipe and blew a small smoke ring. „Give me regards to yer old man when next ye see him." She stared at Imogen past the muzzle of the pistol and cocked an eyebrow.  
__Imogen took a deep breath with trembling nostrils and put the pistol down on the table. „For the sake of ye seeming to be a friend of me father's", she snarled. „And by god, next time I see yer ugly face again I'll blow out yer brain, and if ye were his lover."  
__Morgan grinned at her as she straightened up again. „Was a while ago", she said dryly and sucked at her pipe. „Can't say I fancy going back there, though."_

_With a snort, Imogen stuck the pistol back into her belt and left, grabbing the second, untouched bottle of rum as she went. _

„_Captain Sparrow", Morgan called out to her as she reached the door, and resisting the urge to slam the door like a child, Imogen turned around again. Morgan hadn't moved and slowly took the pipe between thumb and forefinger of her right hand, pointing it at her._

„_You… are your own worst enemy", she said and Imogen turned on her heel, slamming the door shut behind her anyway. _

Imogen stared ahead again and gritted her teeth.

„_You are your own worst enemy."_


	36. Chapter 36

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 36**

Staring straight ahead, Imogen gripped the wheel so hard that her knuckles went white. She felt so sore, thinking about what just happened, and she wasn't even sure if it had hurt her more that he had humiliated her before her crew or that he had denied having a daughter.  
And she couldn't decide if she hated him or… or just wanted to throw himself into his arms begging his forgiveness. Even if she should kick his bloody bollocks out of his ears…

In her dark broodings, she had missed what had been happening on deck and only slowly realised that all hands had stopped working and were staring at her. She let her eyes wander across the rows of locked and angry faces with a racing heart.  
„Henningsen?"  
„Captn?"  
„The helm." She almost expected him to refuse, yet the Friesian walked slowly up the stairs and took the helm from her without looking at either her or the crew. Imogen jumped down to the deck with a lump in her throat and narrowed her eyes as she faced her men.

„And what is that supposed to mean?", she asked, crossing her arms. One of the men, a bald fellow named Melville, stepped forth and mirrored her gesture, then narrowed his eyes as well as if trying to stare her down.  
„Me an' the men have quite enough of all those quabbles", he said. „And even more so of a captain who acts like a stupid, pregnant, misbehaved girl."  
Imogen slowly dropped her arms. „Come again?"  
„Ye did hear me quite well, lass", Melville growled. „Quabbles and screaming fits and yer daddy always around to get yer arse out o' trouble. That's what ye get wi' a woman on a ship. Trouble and twice trouble, and no mistakes."  
„Are ye quite finished?", Imogen said in a dangerously low voice. „Or do ye have more of ye verbal diarrhoea what needs to get out of yer ugly face?"  
„Only that if ye want to carry yer family quarrels around wi'yer, then do so on another ship."

Without so much as a blink, Imogen and pulled out her pistol with a low growl, cocked it and fired it into Melville's face. She pulled out the second one even as the body hit the deck and cocked it, pointing the muzzle upwards.

„Any other takers?", she asked, her voice flat and cold with fury, and let her eyes wander across the row of suddenly very nervous faces, staring each man down in turn. „No? Fine. Get that off me ship." She uncocked the weapon and slid it back into her belt, giving Melville's body a nudge with the tip of her boot.. „And then get out the rum. I need a drink." She looked around, then spread her arms. „Are ye deaf? That was an order!" Then she turned to walk back up to the helm, and to her satisfaction, the men finally awoke into action behind her.

Henningsen gave her an unsure glance as he vacated the wheel for her and she glared at him. He shrugged. „Mädchen, Captain, zat vasn't very nice."  
Imogen cocked an eyebrow. „Explain yerself, Niels."  
Henningsen shrugged again. „But it vas very effective", he said with a wry grin and left the helm to her. She stared after him, trying to figure out what he meant to tell her with that, for she was sure that there was more to his words than just what she had heard. She knew him to be a very shrewd man who cleverly hid his brain behind his heavy accent.

But at least it looked like for now, she had managed to steer clear of a mutiny. She had no illusions, however, that this was the last time she would have to deal with a situation like this. Watching the men roll a barrel of rum on deck, she realised that she would have to think of something else pretty soon to keep her crew loyal, otherwise she would find herself sailing the ship into Curacao's harbour alone.

Henningsen walked up to the helm again with a bottle he had filled in the barrel. „Da."  
Imogen took the bottle with a nod. „Thanks." She took a sip and sighed, one hand on the wheel and the other locked around the bottleneck. „Niels."  
„Cap'n?"  
„How long?"  
She turned her head to look at him and her first mate pursed his lips. He didn't ask her what she meant and slowly weighed his head. „Zree, four weeks", he said. „I guess. Oder until ze next time ye meet wiz yer fazer's ship again."  
Imogen took a deep breath and shook her head. „Anything I can possibly do?"  
„Landgang", he said and Imogen wrinkled her brow. „Uhm… shore leave. A few weeks on land should do ze trick. And zen, make sure ye don't get slapped again. And don't forget ze rum."  
„Not get slapped again", Imogen repeated sourly. „Very helpful."  
Henningsen shrugged. „Give zem some time on land. After a few whores and stuff zey will be as good as new."

Imogen nodded slowly and took a hearty gulp out of her bottle, only to realise she couldn't swallow it. Her stomach was suddenly revolting and she had to force the mouthful of rum down her throat several times. She then handed the bottle to Henningsen with a shrug.  
"Thanks", she said.„I guess I'd better stay sober and at the wheel. Have one yerself."  
„Zanks", Henningsen gave back as he took the bottle, but the tone of his voice as well as the expression on his face suggested he had well seen her weakness with the drink and just chose not to comment on it any further.

_I should have drunk the bloody stuff in Curacao,_ Imogen thought. _With Billy gone and Jack not having a daughter any more, where's the bloody point?_

x x x x x x x x

They reached Curacao again only a few days later, luckily for them and unluckily for the english merchantman they had encountered, with a hull full of rum and tobacco.

Equally sharing the revenue between her and the men, meaning that she herself got the same share as every man did, calmed down the atmosphere among the crew a bit more, and as Imogen promised them they would go straight back to Tortuga for several weeks of shore leave she actually received a few hoorays in return. So much for that, she thought, partially satisfied and with a bit more peace of mind as she made her way to the governor's residence to pay her respects to van Huuiten.

He didn't look up as she entered his office and the servant closed the door behind her. "A messenger from?"  
„Captain Sparrow."  
„Ah." He looked up without a smile and Imogen saw that this time, his desk was covered in papers and parchments again.  
„Take a _seat_", van Huuiten said pointedly as she reached the desk and she slowly sat down on the chair opposite him. He looked her over, raising his eyebrow as he saw her black eye and put down his quill.  
„Captain?"

Imogen leaned forward with a smile. „I came to pay my respects, governor."  
„I hope all negotiations have been arranged satisfactorily", van Huuiten said, folding his hands on the desk. „Or is there anything amiss?"  
„Not at all", Imogen said with a slow smile and got up, put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. Van Huuiten, however, was completely unimpressed by her cleavage this time and moved slightly back in his chair.

„Captain, I thought we had come to the agreement not to renew our business contract every time you come ashore", he said calmly and lifted his brows.  
„And I thought you enjoyed our… negotiations last time", she said in a low voice and lowered her lids.  
„That's as may be", he said. „But I am a very busy man and can not be bothered with something so… trivial all the time, Captain."  
Imogen tilted her head. „Trivial?"  
Van Huuiten narrowed his eyes. „Is the meaning of the word familiar to you, Captain Sparrow?"

Imogen blinked and, even against her instincts, tried it again. She had had such an easy time with that man last time… „Governor", she said in a smooth voice and reached out to run a finger across the edge of his jaw.  
"Keep your hands to yourself, Captain", van Huuiten said and narrowed his eyes. „At once."  
Imogen slowly raised her eyes into his but found that his eyes had turned from polished marble into cold granite. „Governor?"  
"I am well aware of my title, Captain. Take your hand from my face. Now."

She slowly dropped her hand and leaned back a little. „I must say that I thought…"  
"And I must say I get the impression that thinking is not your strong point, Captain Sparrow", van Huuiten interrupted her. „You would do well to remember who… and what… you are. And what you are not."  
Searching his eyes again, she found nothing but resentment in them. A slight stab of fear ran through her belly as she realised she might be making an enemy of the man who held her fate.  
"Mr van Huuiten", she said, moving her face down level to his. „I am sorry if I misunderstood you last time… or this time. However, if I only could…"

She leaned forward again but before she could even think of kissing him again to break through his defences, the back of his hand hit her cheek in a not-at-all painful but through that even more humiliating slap. She shot upright and swallowed.  
Van Huuiten stared at her coldly. „I will oversee this. Once. I bid you a good day."  
Imogen took a step back and dropped her arms, then wordlessly turned around and left, silently closing the door behind her.

Staring at the door that had closed behind her, he shook his head and looked down at his papers, staring at an empty sheet for several minutes before picking up his quill again.  
„Why did you have to do this", he whispered, closing his eyes for a second, as he dipped the quill into the ink. „I really thought you more clever than that."

x x x x x x x x

Around the same time that Imogen hit Curacao, Jack and Elizabeth finally arrived in Tortuga again and the first thing Jack did was go and see if Billy was still there.

He found him eventually, lodging in a tavern that was only halfway respectable and clean, but even though, he was running out of money, provided to him by Imogen as his wage for the time he had served, and was immensely relieved to see Jack. He was too broke now to buy himself a passage to Port Royal and certainly in no condition yet to find himself a hire on a ship for the travel.

He didn't even have any belongings he needed to gather, so he just followed Jack out of the tavern and into the street. They walked in silence for a while before Jack stopped and looked him over. „What did ye do?" he asked and Bill took a deep breath with a shrug.  
„Not follow my captain's orders", he said without looking at Jack.  
„Those being?"  
Bill bit his lower lip and shot him a glance. „To shoot two men hiding in a corner."  
Jack raised his brows and Bill halted his steps to look at him. "The men had served with me on the Pride of London and had been on Barbossa's ship with me."  
"And she ordered ye to shoot them."  
„She didn't know they were former comrades. She just gave me an order, and I couldn't carry it out. I couldn't. I just…" he broke off, seemingly embarrassed and Jack suddenly felt very sorry for the lad. „Ye just can't shoot a cowering man in cold blood?" He could see Bill's breath escape in a huff. „No", he said. „I can't. And I said as much to her. I had my doubts about becoming a pirate, but what she does is not piracy but warfare. And I am no warrior."

He looked at Jack again, the pain still visible in his eyes. „Jack, by god, I still love her, and while I'd gladly die for her, I just can't kill for her."  
Jack nodded slowly, furrowing his brow, not quite sure what to say.  
Bill shrugged with an angry sigh. „That's the way it is, I guess. I was a boy dreaming of piracy. Dreaming of a pirate girl. It was a pretty rude awakening, and who's to be blamed for that but me? I'm a weak and squeamish… whelp. A coward."  
Jack pressed his lips together. „No", he said after a while. „No, I don't think ye are."  
Bill looked at him as if he wasn't quite believing Jack meant what he said. „I mean it", Jack went on. „Ye have to get used to shooting men. Some people might enjoy it, and I hate to say this, but I sometimes think she does. But you have to get used to killing people… and who's saying it's a good thing?"

„I thought you…"  
"Aye, I was a pirate. Part of me, I guess, still is. But I never killed people for the sake of killing them. I never enjoyed killing someone. It was always necessary. But never enjoyable." He narrowed his eyes and then slowly put a hand on Bill's shoulder. „And while ye might have been a whelp, ye surely are a man now, Bill. It takes a man to admit a mistake, and then pick up the pieces and try to move on."  
Bill looked at him for a long while without moving, and then, suddenly, twitched a corner of his mouth with a sad chuckle. „I never thought of hearing these words from you, Jack."  
Jack shrugged without smiling. „I never thought I'd say them. But then, I said quite a lot of things lately I never could have imagined meself saying, so there ye are. Come on." Laying an arm around Bill's shoulder, he looked at the young man and Bill shrugged and tried to smile.

"Billy me lad", Jack said after a while as they were walking along the quay. „How would ye like going back to sea?"  
„And on what ship should I do so?"  
Jack looked at him with a small grin. „Oh, I could surely need another capable hand on me ship."  
Bill stepped and took a step back, dropping Jack's arm. „Are you serious?"  
„Why should I be joking? I'm sure ye're past the age where ye need to be comforted with a sweetie, and that's not what I'm doing. I'm offering ye a place in me crew."  
Bill took a deep breath. „Gladly", he said. „So when…"  
"For now", Jack interrupted him. „Because ye need to start as a man before the mast like any of them before ye can become a captain in yer own right one day."  
„Captain"?  
Jack grinned conspiratively. „Aye. I do need a successor for me business one day, don't I? And whom else, with me having no children to take over, than me stepson?"  
„Stepson?"

_Poor lad,_ Jack thought with a grin. _He looks like ye could knock him out with a bag of feathers right now._ „I married yer mother", he said, feeling a strange sensation in his own guts at speaking it out aloud for the first time. „We are… handfasted. But don't worry, as soon as I have officially moved to Port Royal, I'll propose and do it right from the start, with everything that needs doing and such…"  
"You married my mother…" Bill said, with a slightly disbelieving smile. Jack lifted his brows and was about to say something defensive when Bill shook his head and grinned. „Jack, what took you so long?"

Brought up short, Jack finally grinned himself. „I was feeling a tad bit shy", he said and winked. Bill shook his head with a chuckle and Jack almost slapped his back, only remembering in the last split-second that he shouldn't. He let his hand fall with an apologetic smile. „Come on, yer mother is on me ship. The two of ye get yerself a passage to Port Royal while I check me ship into the docks. She needs a few repairs and… adjustments. When that's done, in a couple of weeks, hopefully, I'll come after ye."

And for the first time in weeks, Bill felt like he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life in dire regret about what he had lost, as he had been afraid he would.

x x x x x x x x

Fate had it that when the Albatross reached the harbour of Tortuga a few weeks later it was only two days after Jack had left there, but neither he nor Imogen were aware of this, of course.

With her men finally on the long-promised shore leave, Imogen made her own way towards her mother's house again, her own since she had died. She planned on moving in there for a couple of weeks rather than having the child in her cabin on her ship and then, when the time would come, she could get herself a midwife, have the child and be on her way again.  
Only her plan did not work out. As she reached her mother's house, or rather, the place where the house should be, she faced a gaping hole three or four houses wide, looking at a few heaps of charred beams and blackened rubble that was all what was left of it.

With a heavy sigh, she pressed her fists into the small of her back and closed her eyes. Now she would have to go and find herself a lodging, and that would prove to be difficult because she had not enough money to pay for a room for so long. And while she was used to make do and sleep rough in the streets and sewers of Tortuga, she couldn't do so any more, not with her heaving belly, heavy with child as she was. And she had no friends and no family here, no one she could ask for help, and her pride forbid her with a bitter taste in her mouth to try and barter a passage to Port Royal to ask Bill or Elizabeth or… Jack. If he even wanted to acknowledge her.

She was stranded. Her money wouldn't last, there was no one to help her here, and the only people who maybe would help her were people she would hate to beg for help.

With another sigh, she opened her eyes again and made her way back towards the harbour to find a cheap inn and a room, calculating in her head how long she would need to stay. She was well into the seventh month now, so she would at least need one and a half, if not two months of lodging before the birth and another after that. And a midwife. Imogen shook her head. There just was no way she would last that long.

She was getting out of breath so easily, as well. Leaning against a wall and fighting against the swimming feeling in her head, she suddenly realised it had gone dark around her. And with a cold feeling creeping down her spine, she realised that she was, now, nothing more than a helpless, pregnant woman wandering the backalleys of Tortuga at night. She had to get back to the harbour and into a tavern, for what it was worth here in this town. Better back to her ship, the only safe place she could suddenly think of.

But even as she was pushing herself away from the wall, she heard steps and voices behind her. She felt her stomach grow cold and looked around for a place to hide. But it was too late.  
„Hey there, darling!"  
There were three of them. Three drunken louts, and had she been in another condition, Imogen knew she had been easily able to deal with them. Right now, however, she was suddenly rigid with fear as they surrounded her.  
„Got any cash to spare?"  
She mutely shook her head.  
„Come on, little sweetheart, Would hate to hurt ye. Might be the one of a friend, aye?"

Imogen tried to take a step back but bumped into the third man who had silently stepped behind her. He wrenched her arms behind her back, making her drop her bag, and pulled her close to him. „And if ye scream", he muttered, „Ye're outta the picture." He pressed a knife to her throat. „Nice and quiet is what we want, savvy?"  
She managed to nod. Maybe if she cooperated she would…  
„Ye sad ye had no cash!", the first one snarled at her as he was rummaging through her bag. „Ye lousy filthy bitch! Ye know what I hate?"

He stood up again and leaned over her, so close that Imogen could see his rotten teeth even in the darkness. „I hate being lied to", he growled and gestured at the man behind her to let her go, then he grabbed a handful of her hair and wrenched her head around. „I really hate being lied to", he said again and rammed a fist into her face. Imogen gasped and staggered backwards.  
„Get the stuff", the first one said to his comrades. „Lesson learned, darling?"  
Imogen nodded mutely and took another cautious step back, not really daring to hope it was already over. She was proven right. The man punched her a second time, so hard this time that she stumbled backwards, crashing heavily into the nearest wall.

Unable to fight the nauseous pain in her back she slid to the ground and dimly registered the men retreating. For a few moments she crouched there, catching back her breath, and finally managed to get onto her feet again, trying not to break down crying. Now she had even lost the last of her money. Now the only thing that was left was just try and go back to her ship…

But in her desolate state of mind, she took the wrong direction and walked only further away from the harbour, and down into the lower parts of Tortuga. She didn't realise her error for a while, due to the raging pain in her back and the swimming in her head, however. It got worse and worse with every step, and finally, she had to lean against a wall and gasp for air. She couldn't go a single step further. Something warm and sticky was trickling down her legs. Feeling her strength leave her completely, she slid down the wall and crumbled into a heap on the cold and damp cobblestones.

She didn't see that in the darkness behind her, a pair of eyes was watching her solemny, vanishing as the small girl whom they belonged to disappeared into a narrow gap between two walls after a while.

Imogen didn't know how much time had passed, she only knew the coldness of the stones below her had crept into her body and soul, making her shiver uncontrollably. And then she heard footsteps again, the heavy fall of boots on the cobblestones. A broad figure in a long and heavy coat was slowly walking into her direction, and she didn't give in to any delusions any more that she would live to see another sunrise. She saw the outline of the figure as it stopped beside her, looking down at her with a sigh, and was not a little surprised when she was suddenly gathered up into a pair of strong arms.

The last thing her conscious mind registered was the smell of pipe tobacco.


	37. Chapter 37

Insert standard disclaimer here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 37**

When Imogen awoke, feeling hot and thirsty, she felt herself in a bed, a soft bed with clean sheets and, to her utter surprise, someone was gently wiping her face with a moist rag. Sunlight was falling in through the window opposite her bed.

She managed to turn her head after opening her eyes and look at the hands which were so gently administering the treatment that cooled her glowing head, up the arms and into the face of… "D'ye want that pistol now or later?", Morgan asked. „Ye promised me to blow out me brains when next we meet, after all."

Imogen stared at her and felt the unwelcome and all-too-familiar burning of shame again. „Thanks for saving my sorry arse", she croaked after a while with a sore throat.  
„Water?", Morgan asked and she managed to nod, not knowing what to say. Morgan held a cup to her lips and put a hand under her head, helping her drink.  
„Thanks", Imogen whispered after Morgan put her head down onto the pillow again.  
„I'd dare say ye hit rock-bottom, lass", Morgan remarked as she leaned back into her chair, crossing her arms. „Is there anything else that can go wrong with yer life?"

Imogen opened her eyes again to look at her. Yet Morgan was neither smirking nor frowning.  
„I could die giving birth", she said, placing her hands on her belly. „But I guess that wouldn't really qualify as ‚going wrong', by now."  
„Depends on what's coming afterwards", Morgan said.  
„Giving birth or dying?" Imogen narrowed her eyes.  
Morgan smiled thinly. "You figure."

Blinking in confusion, Imogen stared at her, but wasn't sure what to make of these words. „Why", she asked after a while into the silence. „Why did you help me?"  
Morgan stared at her under narrowed brows. Waiting for an answer, Imogen tried to endure that boring stare, but it made her uncomfortable in more than one way.  
„Should I have let ye die?", Morgan finally asked.  
„I wouldn't blame ye if ye had", Imogen gave back. „It's not as if…"  
"Aye, no need to recall all that." Picking up the pipe from the nightstand, Morgan stared past her at the wall behind her bed. „I could say it was a favour for an old friend."  
„Jack?"

Morgan looked at her again. „Aye. He's saved my arse once when I was in a pretty heap of trouble. Quite a while ago, though."  
„You said you could."  
Morgan cocked one eyebrow. „I could. And then, I could just say I felt sorry for a lass in trouble."  
Imogen looked down at her hands again. „Guess that's what I am. A lass in trouble, and no mistake. And naught more."  
Morgan didn't reply and busied herself with her pipe.

„Morgan?"  
„Aye?" She didn't look at Imogen and brought a small wood chip to the candle on the nightstand and the glowing wood to her pipe.  
„Do ye intend to let me stay until this is all over?"  
Sucking at her pipe to make it burn, Morgan lowered her brows, still staring into the pipe. „Couldn't really chuck ye out again, can I? You'd only go to pieces and here I'd have been wasted me time with patching ye up and all that." The pipe burning, she pinched the glowing wood out between her fingers and looked up at Imogen.

„Ye were right, Morgan", Imogen said after a while, making the other woman lift her brows and tilt her head. „I am my worst enemy", she finished and looked down again. „I wanted to keep everything and lost everything I had. Me boy, me father, and by now, surely me ship and me crew as well."  
Morgan didn't reply but instead got up and sat down onto the bed beside her. Imogen swallowed but didn't look up.  
„Listen", Morgan said. „I've spoken to yer father, he left Tortuga not so long ago. He told me the whole sorry thing and what's been happening to ye. And believe me, I know the demons ye're fighting, girl."  
At this, Imogen finally looked up into Morgan's green and strangely knowing eyes.  
„Aye", she went on. „Some people only have one. Some have many of those. Some of them keep haunting ye day and night, while others only surface every now and then to taunt ye and tell ye that peace of mind is an illusion. But they all have one thing in common."

She took a deep breath out of her pipe but laid her head back as she blew out the smoke as not to blow the cloud straight into Imogen's face. When she looked back down again, Imogen felt she couldn't look away. „Ye'll never overcome them if ye don't acknowledge them", Morgan went on in a low voice. „Ye can't fight what ye refuse to believe exists. Ye must admit they're there, and then ye can fight them. Mostly, ye won't win. But ye might confine them to a corner where they'll leave ye be for most of the time. But ye certainly can't win if ye deny them." She blew a large, wobbly smoke ring and frowned. „And I'd dare say that ol' Hector is the least of yer problems."

Imogen flinched at the sound of that name and Morgan twitched a corner of her mouth. „There's more than that, isn't there? It's not what he did but that he did it, aye?"  
„I don't know what ye're talking about", Imogen said in a hoarse voice.  
"What he did is something that can heal, even if it leaves a scar", Morgan said. „Yet the fact that he was able to do it is the worst bit, isn't it? The being helpless. The loosing control."  
Imogen swallowed. „How…"  
"I said I know the demons ye're fighting", Morgan said rather sharply. „Yet the worst demon ye're fighting are you. Because ye can't admit that ye have been overcome. This is what ye have to do, ye know. Admit ye have been too weak and have lost. And then ye can gather yerself up again and go on."

Imogen swallowed and Morgan leaned forward. „That's why ye are yer own worst enemy, Imogen. Because in yer fight to keep control of everything, ye loose control over everything. Because ye're afraid that being yerself is not enough, aye?"  
„What?" She tried to bite back tears, Morgan's words had suddenly hit home so hard that it stung.  
„Ye trying to outlive a legend, girl", Morgan said. „Ye're trying to be better than him, greater, more famous and more infamous. But that just can't work. He's a legend, he's been a legend in his own lifetime. And now he's dead. Ye'll never catch him. What ye have to do is admit ye can't be him and be yerself instead."

Then she got up and walked over to the window, and Imogen was staring at her back with a racing heart. Morgan closed the curtains and turned around again. "Try and rest, and think about me words, that's all I ask." Then she left the room and Imogen closed her eyes, breathing deeply to get rid of the feeling of pain and shame, and tried to get her head around Morgan's words.

It was scaringly easy.

x x x x x x x x

Back in the life of a woman of society again, Elizabeth felt herself walking aimlessly through the house, picking up a candlestick here, a porcelain dog there, only to put it down after a second and move on. Trapped, restless, and worried.

She was worried about Bill who was still not recovered. Physically he was of course on the mend, even if the inflamed wounds on his back had taken long to heal; yet he was broody and sad, but Elizabeth did not blame him for it. It was just painful to see him having lost his spirits like that, and she kept praying that he would heal and find his peace again. But knowing where he came from, she knew it might take him as much time to get over his pirate dream than it had taken her… which had never happened. She had never been able to leave those dreams behind.

She was worried about Jack, who was trying to build himself an existence amongst his former enemies and was even with his new identity still running the danger of being recognised and given away. And even if she knew he wasn't far away right now and was maybe even on his way here, she couldn't help worrying if he would reach Port Royal safely. She just couldn't help it. And yes, she worried about his peace of mind, as well. He seemed not to have lost his spirits with finally having put Jack Sparrow to rest, but there was something else, and Elizabeth knew what it was. It was his daughter, and she knew this only by the fact that she was a topic he very laboriously avoided.

And she was worried about Imogen. The shattered mirror of her soul, all the shards and sharp edges might, after all, not only hurt those around her but herself as well. Elizabeth was sure that she was suffering for all she had done to those around her and that she had neither enjoyed breaking Jack's rib nor flogging Bill. But she was still a broken soul, not able to keep control over her own feelings. And thus, she might bring herself in more danger than she could handle.

Sitting down into an armchair with an angry sigh, Elizabeth realised that here she was again, waiting for something to happen, waiting for the bad news, waiting, waiting, waiting. She had done her share of waiting and brooding in her life, and she was fairly fed up with it… but there was nothing she could do do end it. Weeks had passed, Jack should have arrived long since, but maybe, she kept telling herself, he hadn't gone straight to Port Royal but somewhere else. Maybe to get some goods and sell them in Port Royal, he was a merchant, after all… But even those thoughts didn't make it any easier.

A servant broke the spell of her thoughts. „Milady?"  
She looked up and the girl entered. „Letters, milady. A messenger just brought two letters."  
Elizabeth slowly got up and took them, and the maid vanished after a curtsy.

One of them was a simple folded sheet of paper, sealed with a thumb and nothing more. She opened this first. It was written in a clear, but rather wobbly script, as if the person couldn't write a straight row without the aid of a line drawn onto the paper.

_Elizabeth Turner-Swann,_

_Please relate this message to Captain McGuyre.  
__I have picked up a person he knows and she is now residing in my house. She was close to dying as I found her, and I do not know if she will survive, neither do I know if she will survive giving birth if she lasts that long. I do not ask him to come for I know what happened, but I want him to know._

_M._

Her hands trembling, Elizabeth let the letter sink and sat down again. „God, please save her", she whispered and closed her eyes. No news she would like to give to Jack would he finally come. Not at all. Shaking her head, she put the letter down and looked at the second one.  
It bore a seal, a ship, to be precise, and with a slightly fluttering heart, Elizabeth opened this one. It was written with a very neat hand and the letters were rather flourished.

_Dearest Mrs Turner,_

_As of now, I finally have completed my task of relocating to Port Royal. To introduce myself to society, I take the freedom of inviting you, a lady as charming as I have ever met, to come to at the 12th of this month for a small celebration that I will hold.  
The governor has kindly offered me the town hall for this occasion, for as I am a man of a humble profession, my house will not hold as many guests as I wish to invite._

_Please, do me the honour of attending, so I may lay my eyes on your lovely face again, and be assured that your charming son is as welcome as you are. _

_Come to the hour of noon, if you are able._

_Yours in faith and hopes,_

_Captain Johnathan Jacob McGuyre_

Elizabeth looked at the other letter again and swallowed. In five days. But then, it could well be that Imogen was already beyond worrying by the time the letter had left Tortuga. There was no way to tell, and no way to speed things up. She would just have to wait five more days with even one worry more on her heart.

x x x x x x x x

„Are you all right, mother?"  
Elizabeth smiled nervously up at Bill, her arm slipped through his. „Sorry, Billy, I feel like a lass before her first dance."  
Bill chuckled. „You certainly look like it, mother, and not like a respectable widow with a grown up son."  
Elizabeth adjusted the black scarf on her hair and sighed. „That's because I am not a respectable widow any more. To myself, at least."  
"I know", Bill said as they walked down the road towards the town centre. „It's not that I blame you."  
„I wish I could stop blushing", she muttered. „Bloody…"  
„Mother."  
„Sorry."  
Yet they shared a grin before they reached the plaza, and Elizabeth did the best she could in arranging her face into a mask of neutral interest.

The doors of the town hall was wide open, and as they walked in, Elizabeth spotted a lot of familiar faces, the whole of society of Port Royal was here. How the hell had Jack managed that? He didn't know anyone, and he said he had only bought a humble house. Yet what humble was, precisely, he hadn't stated in any detail. Her best bet was that he had made himself familiar with the governor and once having gained his trust, used that to his advantage to get into Port Royals upper class.

„Ah, the widow Turner and her son!", she heard the voice of the governor. Standing close to the door from the reception area into the main hall, he waved her over. Beside him, clad in fine clothing and with a brand new wig, was…  
„Captain McGuyre", the governor said cheerfully. „This is Mrs William Turner, widowed, and her son, William Turner III."  
„Enchanted", Jack said and brushed the back of her hand with his lips. „I hope I find you in good health and spirits. Have you recovered from your journey?"  
The governor lifted his eyebrows. „You have met?"  
„I had the pleasure of having Mrs Turner and her son as passengers on my ship on a voyage to the mainland colonies a while ago", Jack said with a smile.

„Thank you for asking, Captain", Elizabeth said. „I feel quite recovered now, and I have regards from my god daughter who herself has fond memories of the journey."  
„How delightful", Jack said, blinking slowly as he looked at her. „And how is she?"  
„Well, you are aware of her delicate health", she said. „The last news I had of her was a little distressing, but it might well be that she is past that now."  
"I am sorry to hear that", Jack replied, arranging his face in a formal set of worried lines. „Please give my regards to her when next you send her a message."  
Elizabeth nodded and Jack turned his attention to Bill. „And young master William. It gladdens my heart to lay my eyes on you again."  
"Welcome to Port Royal, Captain", Bill said, taking the outstretched hand and giving Jack a short and formal bow.  
"I thank you kindly", Jack gave back and nodded.

Then the governor spotted the next arrivals and called them over, and Elizabeth and Bill walked through the door into the main hall where food and drink was laid out on large tables to one side of the room. Musicians were gathered in a corner.  
"How was he able to afford that?" Bill whispered and Elizabeth put on her formal smile. „I have no clue", she muttered under her breath. „That's one of the things about him. Never ask questions like that when he is concerned, for chances are, you don't want to know."

Elizabeth spent quite some time for the rest of the afternoon gossiping with various ladies who all knew that the Captain had had dealings with her before. Had even lodged in her house after being almost mortally wounded! _Natter, natter, natter._ Elizabeth inwardly rolled her eyes. _Bloody nattering hags._

„Is it true he lost his leg to a shark?", Margaret Wallingford asked her. She was the worst, and she never let a matter rest until she was completely satisfied with the story.  
„I think", Elizabeth gave back. How likely was it that a lady knew the difference between one predator of the sea to another, and how likely was it she wanted to know?  
"Oh how terrible!"  
„Do you think so?" Elizabeth watched Margaret fan herself. „"I think it was rather lucky that he escaped with his life at all. A leg seems a small price to pay for being able to escape out of a shark's maw, don't you think?"  
Paling slightly, Margaret fanned a little faster. „Oh, I don't want to think about it!" Yet it was clear that she did, by the way she was fluttering her fan.

„But tell me, how came it that he ended up in your house, dear?"  
Now that had to come. Several other ladies around them cocked their ears visibly. „I had business with him once", Elizabeth said calmly. „He was an old acquaintance of my late husband. And when that ghastly accident happened, Port Royal was the closest port and me the only person he knew there."

Two other ladies walked over. „He hails from Barbados, isn't that so?" This was Eleanor Larousse, a widow like herself and seemingly proud of it. She wore not only a black headscarf but exclusively black dresses, and had done so for two decades now.  
"He does", Elizabeth replied, feeling suddenly cornered by all these gossiping hags.  
„But what made him come to Port Royal, I wonder?", Eleanor said and shot Elizabeth a long glance over her black fan.  
„I don't know, why don't you ask him?", Elizabeth replied tartly. „How am I supposed to know?"  
„Well, you do know him best of us all, dear. You had him in your house after all and nursed his wounds." Eleanor lifted her silvery eyebrows.  
„I had. As is my duty as a christian woman to a man who asks for my help."  
„Oh, and there's duties you mind more than others and some you mind less."  
„Are you implying something, Eleanor?", Elizabeth asked and the other women giggled like a couple of girls. Elizabeth had to force herself not to roll her eyes. „I tell you I have not…"  
A sharp whisper interrupted her. "There he comes!"

All of the women fell silent and some of them started fanning themselves a little too frantically. Elizabeth took a deep breath. Even with his countenance so tamed and even at his age, he still had that effect on women. And it wasn't that she blamed them, she thought as she turned around, watching him approach.  
Not hindered whatsoever any more by his wooden leg, he sauntered elegantly over, flourishing his ebony walking cane with his hand closed firmly around the silver knob. He bowed elegantly as he reached the group of women. „Miladies", he said with a flourish of his hand.  
„Captain", Eleanor said with a dry smile. „Do quench an old lady's curiosity, if you forgive me my bluntness."  
Jack smiled politely with a flick of his left hand, the lace of his shirt dropping back and revealing the scarred skin of his wrist. Elizabeth forced her eyes away again.

„Why did you move from Barbados to Port Royal?" Eleanor went on and Jack smiled a lopsided grin that said _‚I'm glad you asked that, missus'_. Yet it only said that to Elizabeth, the other ladies seemed oblivious of that. Elizabeth suppressed a grin.  
„I do enjoy the neighbourhood more", he said and turned to face Elizabeth. „Madam Turner, will you do me the honour of taking a walk with me in the garden?"  
„It is my pleasure", Elizabeth said with a sweet smile and slipped her arm through the one he offered her. Enjoying the other ladies eyes boring into her back, she let Jack walk her outside and around the house.

„The scandal", she chuckled as they reached the little fountain behind the hall. „Coming here and taking advantage of a poor widow."  
Jack grinned. „Lizzie, can I ask a favour?", he whispered.  
"Ask."  
"Please, can I stop grinning? My face hurts."  
Elizabeth almost broke out laughing and covered her mouth with her hands.  
„I take that as a yes", he muttered and let go of her arm to sit down at the edge of the fountain.

„Are you quite all right?", she asked and he looked up with a tired smile.  
"Aye, I am quite all right. I'm dead tired, though. I hadn't had a moment of peace since I left Tortuga, but now, I hope, things will settle down again. It's damn hard to relocate into another society when ye haven't been a member of any society before. It involves an awful amount of money, and an even larger amount of lying."  
„Neither a problem for you, I guess", Elizabeth replied with a smile.  
Jack twitched a corner of his mouth. „And no bloody rum whatsoever."  
„Now that certainly is."

He looked up at her with a slight smirk. „Well, from today on things should calm down and…" Then his head flew up and he narrowed his eyes. „I think we're being stalked", he whispered and got up again. He took a step forward with a wink. „Mrs Turner…" he began in a slightly louder voice than was necessary. Elizabeth lifted her brows and then realised that he was playing one of his games again. But this time, she felt all too happy to play along for she could well imagine who it was that was eavesdropping on them. „Captain?"  
„Mrs Turner, I must frankly admit that since our last encounter, I felt myself unable to forget you, neither your face nor your voice. Let me tell you how…"  
"Captain McGuyre", she interrupted him, looking up into his face. „Isn't this going rather fast?"  
„It might", he said, looking down for a second and then back at her face again. „I do apologize if I have crossed a line I shouldn't have…"  
"I didn't say that", she gave back. „I was just… ever so surprised."

Jack took a deep breath. „Elizabeth", he said. „May I call you Elizabeth?"  
„You may, Johnathan."  
„Jack."  
"Excuse me?"  
„The short form of my middle name, Jacob", he said with a tiny grin. „It is the name I allow my closest friends to use."  
„I am honoured, I guess…"  
„Or, if you feel more comfortable, call me John", he added hastily.

They both looked at each other for a while fully aware that the other one tried not to break out laughing or grin, at least. „Elizabeth", he said again after the while it took them to stop pressing their lips together. „Let me be frank."  
"I ask you to, John."  
He took another deep breath. „I think that widow's scarf does not become you. You have worn it far too long now."  
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. „It is not as if I had much choice in the matter", she replied slowly. Jack swallowed and leaned a little forward, taking her hands in his.

„Elizabeth, ever since I first laid my eyes on you on that ship of mine, I could not forget about you. And ever since I have lain almost dying and weak and helpless with my crippled form, I could not forget neither your gentle hands nor your caring voice that helped me through this darkest of times."  
„I did it gladly, John", Elizabeth replied, captured in his eyes.  
„That is what I mean", he said softly. „Never has a more gentle and caring soul existed a sailor could think of as the anchor for his soul. You have cast a spell on me, Elizabeth." He leaned forward even more, looking into her eyes, all laughter gone from them. Elizabeth swallowed.

„Elizabeth, will you marry me?"  
„John…" she began, feeling suddenly more than a little shy. „I do not know what to say…"  
„Just say… yes or no", he gave back, bringing her hands up to his lips. „But I beg you to be honest. Do not try and spare my feelings, please, for I can…  
"Yes", she whispered.  
„Elizabeth?"  
„I do", she said. „I do, Johnathan Jacob McGuyre, want to marry you."

He was silent for a while and closed his eyes. „That gladdens my heart", he said in a low voice. „For it is solely because of you I have come here. But of course, I didn't want to let you know that before…" He looked up with a smile. „May I kiss you?"  
„You may", Elizabeth gave back, closing her eyes as he brought his face down and gently met her lips with his. „I love you, Elizabeth", he said and let go of her hands to cup her face in his. „I love you." He kissed her again, letting his hands wander up her face to slowly remove the black silk-and-lace scarf that covered her hair, dropping it down her shoulders.

Elizabeth swallowed and he leaned back, smiling softly at her as she opened her eyes. „I would ask you to do me the honour of a dance, but I'm afraid yonder little accident has left me in no position to be a graceful dancer any more."  
She smiled and touched his cheek. „I have done my share of dancing in my younger years and I can't say I have ever cared for that particular form of amusement", she said.  
„Now that is a relief", he said with a lopsided smile. „I was a rotten dancer even when I had still both my legs."  
Elizabeth had to giggle and covered her mouth with one hand. Jack grinned and took her other hand to kiss it. „Be that as it may", he said and straightened up again. „Should we venture back inside?

Elizabeth was about to nod when she remembered the letter. „I quite enjoy the peace of these gardens at the moment", she said, bringing it forth. She carefully slipped it into Jack's hand. Jack shot her a glance and silently unfolded the paper. Flicking his eyes across the lines, he furrowed his brow at first, but then his eyes widened and he clenched his jaws. With a quick movement, the letter vanished into his pocket. „So do I, believe me. However, this is my own reception we are talking about, and no good it will do me if I am not present."

He offered her his arm again and smiled. Elizabeth slipped her arm through his again and he rested his hand on top of hers. „I will have to make another journey quite soon, yet when I come back, I hope we can… start to arrange matters."  
„If you wish, I can begin to arrange matters while you are away, John", she said and smiled at him. „But maybe people of our age need not hurry so much any more."  
"Or maybe they do", he gave back. „An old man like me is prone to be running out of time, you know." But he winked at her and she chuckled as they walked back into the main hall, both of them quite enjoying the stares at their appearance: Her arm slipped through his, his hand resting on hers, and Elizabeth's black scarf hanging down her shoulders, not covering her hair any more.


	38. Chapter 38

Insert standard disclaimer here.

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**Chapter 38**

The fever came back for her the very next day, and she knew, whenever she was conscious enough to think, that she was going to die. She, and the child with her. She was burning alive.

In her feverish dreams, faces came back to haunt her. Some of them familiar and some of them faint memories only, but all of them stared at her accusingly.

She tried to fight them. She tried to stare them down, tried to battle them, but every time, every time she had wrestled one of the taunting figures down, she discovered that it was… her. Her own face sneering at her, accusing her of weakness. And they never left. There were no less of them just because she had overcome one.

Eventually, she overcame them, she had wrestled with every single one of them but she was left with the same amount of demons staring at her, all of them battled, all of them chained, yet all of them bore her own face. It scared her more than she could say. It almost scared her to death.

She just had no strength left in her anymore, and when, after a row of several days with violent fever attacks, the first waves of labour washed over her body, Imogen knew it was over. It was too early, a month too early. And for her, it was too late.

Morgan did not leave her side any more, and even she, who tended not to let things get at her too much, was slightly shaken at the sight of Imogen's body writhing in pain and the sound of her voice, raw and hoarse from screaming.  
By now, she felt sincerely sorry for the lass. Whatever she had done in the past, what she went through now seemed to be punishment enough. She had expected her to die two days ago, but she was still alive. Barely, but she was still fighting.  
Two days of labour after two weeks of coming and going fever. Morgan wiped Imogen's face with a moist rag again and pursed her lips. The lass seemed to be stronger than she had thought, but by the way things looked, she might not be strong enough.  
She was granted a short moment of respite from the pain and Morgan listened to Imogen's breathing, coming in long, hoarse, sobs, with a sinking heart.

„I'm sorry", Imogen rasped. „God, I'm so sorry…"  
Morgan held a cup of water to her lips. „What about, lass?"  
Her eyes were burning with more than fever. „About everything", she rasped. „I've failed them all…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. „All. I've failed them, and I've lost them. Please…" She stared at Morgan again with these feverish eyes that made the older woman swallow. „Please, tell them I was sorry!"  
„I will", Morgan said. There was nothing else she could do to give the lass a little peace of mind.

Another wave of labour washed over Imogen and her voice, already hoarse, was no more than a rasping breath, she was long beyond screaming. Her head fell back with another sob. „I tried to fight my demons, Morgan", she whispered. „I tried to. And all of them were me."  
Morgan wiped Imogen's forehead again. „What d'ye mean?" she asked gently.  
Imogen stared up at her. „My worst enemy… me… All these demons… Billy, and Jack, and Barbossa… and all the others… I confronted them… I wrestled them… and they all turned out to be me!" Rearing up with the next wave of pain, she gritted her teeth and groaned. „It was me all along, ye were so right Morgan…"  
"Rest yer mind", Morgan gave back, and Imogen stared at her again.  
„I can't… Please listen to me!"

Morgan nodded mutely and took one of Imogen's hand in hers.

„I fought them all. I stared them down. And after I did all this, I faced the last one, the last demon… the worst demon…" She sobbed, covering her eyes with her other hand. Morgan wiped a strand of hair from her eyes. „It was a little girl", Imogen sobbed. „A little girl, stomping her foot and yelling: I take what I can and I give nothing back! Ye were right… ye were right…"  
„Hush", Morgan said and took Imogen's shoulders, but another wave of labour gripped her like a giant fist and shook her. „Jack!", she screamed. „Oh god, Jack! I'm sorry!!"  
The pain subsided a little and Imogen all but wailed. „Daddy… I'm so sorry…"

Morgan shook her head and slowly rolled up her sleeves, then pushed the blanket away. If there was still nothing to see right now it would all be too late. She cautiously pushed Imogen's knees apart the moment the next wave of labour came. Yet this time, she didn't rear up or scream any more, she just moaned and buried her fingers in the folds of the crumpled sheet beneath her.

"Imogen", Morgan said. „If ye have anything left, push when the next pain comes. Ye might get this through."  
"I can't…", she rasped. „I can't…"  
"Ye can, and ye will", Morgan gave back. „Ye have to."  
Imogen lifted her head and stared down at Morgan over her swollen belly. „I don't think he's still alive…", she whispered.  
„I do", Morgan gave back and pressed one hand on her belly as Imogen inhaled sharply. „Now, come on girl, push!"

Imogen screamed again, her voice so hoarse that she didn't sound human any more, and Morgan pressed her hand down on her belly. And suddenly, the child slid out between her legs all in one go, landing on the sheet in a red and crumpled heap. Imogen wailed, but if it was triumph or final defeat, Morgan didn't know. She just picked up the child and wiped a rag across his face, for a boy it was.  
„It's a boy", she said and looked at Imogen who gasped for air and stared at the ceiling. „Is he alive?"  
Morgan looked at the infant again and gently slapped his backside, receiving a protesting wail in response. „Aye, he is."  
„Give him to me!", Imogen begged, sitting upright again on her own. „Give him to me!"  
„Easy, lass", Morgan said, wrapping the little creature in a piece of cloth. „Here, gently."

Imogen stretched out her arms and reached for him, and Morgan was a little worried how she would greet him after he had given her so much trouble. But as soon as she placed the boy into Imogen's arms, her face grew soft. „Hello", Imogen whispered and traced his tiny cheek with her forefinger. „Sorry it took me so long." Smiling tenderly at his face, tears trickling down her cheeks, she caressed the cheek of her son, shaking her head as if in disbelief.  
„Imogen", Morgan said gently. „Give him to me, I will wash him. Then we'll clean you up and you can rest after that."  
Imogen nodded but handed her the child only very reluctantly.

After poking her head outside and yelling for someone called Millie, Morgan took care of the infant and with the help of the girl who had come in, made Imogen comfortable, washed her, changed the bedclothes and ther nightshirt and bedded her down again. Only then did Morgan place the boy into her arms again.

She was still worried Imogen might not make it. She was worringly pale, she had not had a chance to recover from her fever, and she had lost a huge amount of blood. But she had made the worst part, and maybe, if all of them were careful, she would yet survive.

x x x x x x x x

The very moment that Morgan had given her the child, Imogen knew herself lost. He had looked into her eyes, in that special way that infants do only directly after birth, and she had been captured in his eyes, looking at him, caressing his cheek, and weeping endless tears as her heart went, at that moment, slowly and thoroughly to pieces.

She couldn't let go of him. He slept in her bed, and only when he was there, Imogen could find any sense of peace. Curled around her infant son she could sleep, find rest, and recover.

Roughly two weeks passed in which she did nothing else but sleep and watch or nurse her son. She hadn't given him a name yet, though. She had, from the beginning, hoped that her father would give him a name, and she still had these hopes, even if they grew more and more feeble with each passing day. Morgan had told her she had sent him a letter, but he didn't come. Maybe he couldn't. But maybe he had really meant what he had said, and didn't have a daughter any more.  
It hurt, it felt like a knife in her guts… but remembering what had happened, she couldn't even blame him. She had, before. And now… now everything had changed. She missed him. She missed him so much it hurt to think of him, but if she was dead to him, there was no one else to blame for it but her. Maybe Morgan could relate him a message. If he cared to hear it.

Her son had finished drinking and she lifted him, hugging him to her shoulder and rocking him to make him burp. Pinching her eyes shut to fight back the tears, she decided that she would name him after her father if he wouldn't come any more. And it didn't seem like he would. She slowly bedded him down beside her and, curling up around her child, Imogen pulled the covers over both of them and closed her eyes, listening to her son's breathing as he peacefully slept in her arms.

She was awoken some time later by the sound of the door. She slowly and carefully sat up, staring sleepily around her and then saw the man standing in the doorframe looking at her under narrowed brows. He looked as if he had dressed himself in haste and had left the house without bothering with coat, vest or a wig which clearly belonged on top of the close-cropped hair, but only as her eyes wandered further down and she saw the wooden leg did she recognise him.

She felt a huge grin spread on her face at first but then, remembering again, she felt awkwardly shy all of a sudden as she realised she didn't know what name to call him.  
_„Jack Sparrow, sweetheart, is dead."  
„I do not have a daughter."_  
There was only thing that came to her mind. „Captain?"

He took a deep breath and slowly walked two steps into the room. „Imogen?"  
She bit her lower lip. „I…"  
„Imogen", he said again and took another step forward. „Are you… is everything…" He broke off, dropping his arms. „Are ye quite all right, lass?"  
She tried to smile. „I am, now", she said and pushed herself upright and back to rest her back against the wall. „Do you want to… see him?"  
He swallowed but then nodded. „Aye, I would like that, indeed."

Imogen lifted the blanket and carefully picked the sleeping infant up into her arms. „He doesn't have a name, yet", she said, avoiding his eyes.  
„And why is that so?", he asked gently and sat carefully down on the bed beside her.  
„Because…", she broke off, tracing the tiny cheek of her son with her finger. „I…" She swallowed and looked up, then held the child out to him. He carefully took it and looked down at the tiny sleeping face.

"I wanted you to give him a name", she whispered.  
„And why is that so?", he asked again.  
Imogen took a deep breath. „For no other reason than I wanted you to do it."  
He looked up again at her. „Imogen."  
„D… yes?" She bit her lower lip and he sighed.  
„I've spoken to Morgan at length before she would allow me in. I know what happened. I know ye almost died. And I know that a man who thinks he's dying doesn't lie any more. I see no reason why that should be different for a woman."

Imogen swallowed and looked at his face again. „So?"  
„I know ye are sorry, girl."  
„I…"  
„So am I."  
She blinked. „What for?"  
He shrugged. „Everything." Then he handed the child back to her. „Josh", he said. „Joshamee, for he was me best friend for most of me life. I owe him one."  
„Aye", she whispered, smiling up at Jack through her tears. „Joshamee it'll be."

Jack reached out, hesitated, clenched his fist, opened it again and then touched her shoulder with his fingers. She swallowed, and he slowly closed his hand around her shoulder with a gentle squeeze before slowly getting up again. As he turned and headed for the door, she called out to him again.

"Jack?"  
„Aye?" He turned around.  
„Don't leave me, please…"  
The ghost of a smile flickered across his face. „I'm not going anywhere, luv. I'll just go and get Billy. I brought him along." Then he left, and Imogen stared after him, staring at the door until it opened again moments later. He came back in, Bill walking behind him.

„Imogen", he said, walking up to the bed and kneeling down before it. „Are you all right again?"  
„I am", she said. „So is he. Here's your son, Billy. His name's Joshamee." She held out the child to him but Bill just took out his knife, narrowed his eyes and made a small nick into his thumb. He then reached out and painted a small cross with his thumb on the infant's forehead with his blood. Imogen clenched her jaws as he watched him do it.

„Joshamee, you are my son, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh, and I will raise and protect you and make you a man. And god be my witness." Taking a deep breath, Bill then took the infant from Imogen's arms and got up, walking over to the window with him.

"What are you going to do with him?", he asked gently without looking at her, studying the face of the child in his arms.  
"Morgan said she'd get me a wet nurse", she said, looking at his back. She had the feeling that even through the layers of fabric, she could see the scars and worse, the torn and shattered remnants of the sparrow.  
„And then?" He turned around, but neither was his voice accusing nor his face.  
Imogen shrugged. „Then I'll go back on me ship, I've recovered quite well."  
„And what happens with him in the meantime, when you're away?" He walked back to the bed again and placed the boy back into her arms. Imogen swallowed.  
„I don't…" she broke off. She did know. She did know perfectly well what she should do. And yet… she couldn't. But even though, there was no other way. „I…" She looked up at Bill again. „I had no hopes of seeing either you or Jack ever again", she said a little hoarsely. „But since ye're here, the both of ye…"

She looked from Bill to Jack, and then down at the face of her son, fighting with her tears. „I can't take him with me", she said. „God knows I want to, but I can't. I know that I grew up on a pirate's ship but…" She looked up at Jack. „That wasn't just a pirate ship. It was your ship. And the Albatross isn't a pirate ship. She's a weapon. I can't take him there. It's too dangerous."  
Swallowing, she looked back at Bill. „I love him, Billy. I don't want to be parted from him. But I have to. I can't take him with me. Will you take care of him for me?" She watched his face, and he did not avoid her eyes as he searched for the truth in her words.  
„Aye", he finally said. „I will take care of him for you. Your son is my son, after all, Imogen."

In the heavy silence that followed, the sound of Josh's sudden mewling made all three of them flinch. Imogen leaned back against the wall and opened her nightshirt to nurse him, and as soon as she put his face down to her breast, the mewling stopped.  
Jack and Bill both watched her nurse the boy, her face as tender as milk, as she caressed his cheek with her finger, and both of them looked at each other at the same time, exchanging a long glance.  
Finally, Jack shrugged. „Imogen", he said and she looked up at him. „When did ye plan to set sail again?"  
She slowly looked up. „In about a week or so."  
„Aye. Let's get things organised then. Billy?"  
„Jack?"  
Jack gestured at him to follow, and the men both silently left the room.

Imogen watched them go with a strange mixture of relief and terrible sadness. But it made her feel the tiniest bit better to know that if her father and Bill would take care of him, and thus, Elizabeth of course, he would have people who loved him.

But even though, the thought of giving him, her son, away to someone else made her heart clench in agony.


	39. Chapter 39

Insert standard disclaimer here.

All things must come to an end. Thanks for going with me through all that, thanks for putting up with all my cruel, painful and maybe sometimes even heartwrenching ideas.

This chapter has two songs imbedded:

Billy's song: Now and Then by Blackmore's Night.  
Imogen's song: Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt.

If you listen to the songs while reading this, you might want to have a tissue handy. I usually do not weep while reading, but I was. I was weeping when I wrote this. And as I listened to the music I envisioned for this chapter while reading it, I wept again. So here it is. The last chapter.

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**Chapter 39**

It was almost midnight, and the tides were just about to turn, when they finally walked down to the harbour to get on their ways again, as differently as they could only be.

Bill knew how she suffered. He watched every move, every look and every gesture that was aimed at her son, and it hurt his own heart to see that much pain in her eyes. And he was still expecting her to back out on her words and refuse to let him go, even if in the very last moment. And it was not that he could really blame her, for what mother would willingly give up her child? Watching her, however, caused him almost physical pain.

He had to admit that he had had serious doubts about her abilities or her feelings, and he had judged her not really capable of coping with a child. But he had been proven wrong. Standing at the pier now, he watched her face again as she held the sleeping child in her arms, hugging him to her shoulder with her eyes pinched shut. He wished he could do something for her, or say something to make her feel… not better, certainly, but maybe a little less bad.

From the direction of the lower quay came another two sets of steps, one the heavy footfall of boots, the other the soft steps of someone small wearing light shoes.  
Morgan stepped out of the shadows, followed by a young woman carrying a large bag, wrapped in a cloak. She stared down at her feet and nervously tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.  
„Gentlemen, this is Louise O'Reilley", Morgan said. „She has agreed to be the wet-nurse for little Josh."  
Jack took a step towards Morgan and nodded, then looked the woman over. „Where's your own child?"  
She looked up at him. „I lost her. She was weak when she was born, and she died two days ago."  
„I'm sorry to hear that."  
Louise just shrugged.

Jack exchanged a worried glance with Morgan who sighed. „I expect you to treat her respectfully, Jack. She came here as an emigrant from Ireland, but all of her family died on the way. She was stranded, alone, and was forced to become a whore. I know ye don't really need more to take care of right now than the wean, but if ye take care of her, she'll take care of the mite. Aye?"  
„Aye", Jack said and looked at Louise again. „That ship, miss."

She nodded mutely and walked up the plank to board Jack's ship that no longer looked like the Black Pearl had looked. The designs on deck had changed, there was less space and more rigging now, and there were only half the hatches for cannons left, as well. She was no pirate ship any more, she was just a normal brigantine, a merchant vessel, but as he looked at her, he knew she was still his. And he, hers. Despite their makeovers, they knew each other.

Jack turned again to look at Bill and Imogen who stood on the pier, facing each other mutely.

He slowly walked over. „Imogen", he said gently. „It's time."  
She nodded and pressed another kiss on the top of Josh's head. „I know." Tears were trickling down her cheeks as she peeled him out of the crook of her arm. „Bye now, my love", she whispered and slowly held out the child to Bill. „Be good, aye?" She wiped her face as Bill took the child and wrapped his coat around him.

„Imogen", Bill said softly and she looked up at his face. „What shall we tell him about his mother?"  
Imogen sobbed softly and wiped her eyes again. „Tell him… tell him she's dead."  
He looked at her in dismay and she shrugged. „Tell him she's dead. Tell him she died giving birth to him, because she wanted to have him so much that she died so he could live. Don't tell him that his mother is…" she swallowed and wiped her eyes again. „…that his mother is a privateer, mercenary and a cold blooded murderess."  
„Imogen…"  
"Billy please", she said. „Please don't tell him about me. Let him imagine his mother as a woman who loved him and not as a woman who has killed more men than she cared to remember."  
„If that's your wish", Billy said and she swallowed and nodded. „Aye, Billy, that's my wish."  
He nodded as well. „So be it." Then he looked down at Josh's sleeping face and shrugged. „Well", he looked up at Imogen again. „Farewell then."  
„Farewell, Billy." She leaned forward to press a last kiss on Josh's forehead and straightened up again. Her face was a stony mask, despite the tears that still spilled from her eyes, as she watched him go.

Steps behind her made her turn, and she looked around into Jack's face watching her with sad eyes. She swallowed and shrugged. „I'm sorry, Jack."  
„What about, Imogen?"  
„Everything."  
„That's a lot", he remarked dryly and reached out to touch her shoulder, gently closing his hand around it.  
„I'm sorry about not having believed ye."  
"Believed me what?"  
„About how I could have made ye a better man."

Jack took a small step forward to look more closely into her eyes. „And now ye do", he said, and it wasn't a question.  
„Aye, now I do", she replied, fresh tears welling up in her eyes and trickling down her cheeks.  
„It's a good thing ye're doing", Jack said gently.  
„I know", she said. „I couldn't have him harmed. It's not a place for him, where I am. Really… I don't know any more whom of us two... is the bird of bad luck, Jack." She she looked over her shoulder at her ship and back at him. „I won't have any of that on him. And there's no need for him… to turn into another me. I'd rather die."  
„Or cut out yer own heart", Jack said in a whisper, and she bit her lip, blinking more tears away, and nodded. Both were silent for a while.

„Jack… Dad?"  
„What is it, luv?"  
She swallowed. „Do ye forgive me?"  
„Everything", he said simply. „And ye know why, aye?"  
„Aye, I do."  
Watching her face with a sore heart himself, Jack suddenly pulled her close, locking his arms around her in a tight embrace, and kissed the top of her head. „Ye're s strong one, me little dolphin. We'll be thinking of ye. Maybe we'll meet again."

Imogen pressed her face into his shoulder for a second and then slowly took a step back. „I'd rather not", she said. „Not as long as ye fly the english flag. Or don't ye?"  
"I do", he said.  
„So ye're not flying yer own flag any more?"  
„I do", he said again. „Living in Port Royal, I've made the english flag my own."  
"And Roger?"  
„Lies in his sailor's grave somewhere north of here and south of the arctic circle."  
„So neither of us is a pirate any more", she said, looking at him, but he smiled slightly.  
„Oh, you definitely are. Plundering ships under the Jolly Roger, that's piracy, aye?"  
„But being a merchant isn't." She wiped her face again.  
"No, but then I report to no one but meself."  
"True", she said in a toneless voice. „Well then, farewell." She turned around and walked up to the plank, but he called out to her and followed her. She stopped and turned around at the foot of the plank leading on board the Albatross.

He grinned and held out his arms. „Here's to ourselves, and hold your luff", he said and Imogen finally managed a tiny grin, wiping her eyes. „Plenty of prizes and plenty of luff", she said, then hurried the three steps distance between them towards him and threw herself into his arms again. „God, Jack, I shall miss ye fiercely!"  
Jack hugged her tight before letting go of her again with a smile. „And I shall follow your career with interest", he said and she smiled again and wiped her eyes for the umpteenth time.  
„Take ye good care of me little one", she said before boarding her ship and Jack nodded before taking a step back. „Promised."

The two ships left the harbour together, sailing alongside for a while before the Albatross leaned into the wind and made southwards to head for Curacao, while the Jade Star made southwest, towards Port Royal.

x x x x x x x x

Standing at the bow with his son hugged to his chest, his coat wrapped around them, Bill watched the Albatross lean into the wind and change her course, and felt that his eyes were strangely dry as he watched her disappear, and with her, the woman he loved.

_The past is so familiar  
__But that's why you couldn't stay  
__Too many ghosts, too many haunted dreams  
__Besides you're built to find your own way...  
__But after all these years, I thought we'd still hold on  
__But when I reach for you and search your eyes  
__I see you've already gone... _

But even though the thought of never seeing her again caused him pain, he knew that it had never meant to be. It did nothing to ease the pain, but somehow, it made the pain easier to bear.

_That's ok, __I'll be fine  
__I've got myself, I'll heal in time  
__But when you leave just remember what we had...  
__There's more to life than just you  
__I may cry but I'll make it through  
__And I know that the sun will shine again  
__Though I may think of you now and then... _

He had tried everything he could, he knew. He had nothing to blame himself for, except maybe his naivety. Otherwise, he had done everything he was capable of, had tried everything he could, and yet, it had not been enough. He was just not the man for her, a good man perhaps, a good man to have, but not a man for her. And probably not even due to the fact he was unable to kill for her.

_Can't do a thing with ashes  
__But throw them to the wind...  
__Though this heart may be in pieces now  
__You know I'll build it up again and  
__I'll come back stronger than I ever did before  
__Just don't turn around when you walk out that door... _

Hugging his son to his chest, he stared at the horizon, empty now, and took comfort in the feeling of a warm body in his arms, his son, and he carried with him the last remainder of his love, and the woman he loved.

_That's ok, __I'll be fine  
__I've got myself, I'll heal in time  
__But when you leave just remember what we had...  
__There's more to life than just you  
__I may cry but I'll make it through  
__And even though our story's at the end  
__I still may think of you now and then... _

He would never forget her.

x x x x x x x x

As Imogen stood at the stern and watched the Jade Star of Barbados disappear, she didn't bother to hold back or wipe away her tears any more, bidding her last farewell to her son, and the man she had loved.

He would never know his mother. And thus, he would never know what kind of a woman she had been. He would never know his mother had killed countless men, had sunk ships and had his father flogged down to the bones.

_When the dark wood fell before me  
__And all the paths were overgrown  
__When the priests of pride say there is no other way  
__I tilled the sorrows of stone_

Maybe he would be told the truth someday, when he was old enough to understand it, although she preferred him never to know. But Billy had promised her not to tell him, and he wouldn't. He was a good man, Billy.

_I did not believe because I could not see  
__Though you came to me in the night  
__When the dawn seemed forever lost  
__You showed me your love in the light of the stars_

_Cast your eyes on the ocean  
__Cast your soul to the sea  
__When the dark night seems endless  
__Please remember me_

Too good for her, she knew that much now. Yes, he had been a boy she fancied. Yes, she had been madly in love with him. But even as she had tried so much to hold on to the feeling, after she had been cut down by Barbossa, no feeling inside her had survived the flash fires that had devoured her. And no noble phoenix to rise from the ashes.

_Then the mountain rose before me  
__By the deep well of desire  
__From the fountain of forgiveness  
__Through the ice and the fire_

_Cast your eyes on the ocean  
__Cast your soul to the sea  
__When the dark night seems endless  
__Please remember me_

And after that, she had not been able to admit her defeat. Morgan had been right. Had she been able to admit she had been defeated, she would have been able, maybe, to keep him. Or maybe not. It wasn't as if there had been much of a choice in the matters about the letter of marque. But even though…

_Though we share this humble path, alone  
__How fragile is the heart  
__Oh give these clay feet wings to fly  
__To touch the face of the stars_

The sad fact was that she had never loved Bill the way that he had loved her. It hurt. It hurt her, and yet… this wasn't even her fault. She had been in love with him, and he had loved her. She couldn't change the way she felt. She was sorry… but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't change the past, she couldn't turn back time.

_Breathe life into this feeble heart  
__Lift this mortal veil of fear  
__Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears  
__We'll rise above these earthly cares_

Staring into the empty air, she asked herself if these feelings would mean she had finally arranged herself with her inner demons, and maybe even beaten a few. Time would tell. And maybe time would make the lies told to her son true, as well. Maybe she would die anytime during the next few raids, and then it wouldn't even have to be a lie that she was dead. There was a strange comfort in these thoughts.

_Cast your eyes on the ocean  
__Cast your soul to the sea  
__When the dark night seems endless  
__Please remember me_

_Please remember me_

Tears still streaming down her face, she stared at the empty horizon where her father's ship had vanished. _„Please remember me…"_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

…THE END…

… OR THE BEGINNING...?


	40. Credits

**CREDTIS**

**Some notes on the historical background**

Pirates of the Caribbean is set somewhere in the mid-seventeenth century, meaning 1650 onwards, or roughly so. This, at least, is what I make of ships, houses, wardrobe and armaments. But maybe I'm mistaken... so don't nail me down on that.

Thus, my story is set these roughly twenty years later, and into a context that I can underpin with some historical facts.

Curacao was dutch at that time, Port Royal english, yet even if this was the headquarter of the english navy, the presence of the english navy was, until 1702, only four ships. Not more.But due to military drills, mercy on the pirate ship who encountered them. They could load their rows of canons in a about a quarter of the time of the pirates.

Tortuga was initially french, was alternating english or spanish, but started off as a french colony. The french, on their side, have started their presence in the new world as privateers and pirates, namely, the bucaniers, fur hunters who attacked passing ships with small and agile boats when they where not hunting. Thus the name buccaneer. And thus the city and island of Tortuga being the perfect pirate headquarter and hideout.

On to the dutch. There was no dutch kindom at this time, it was a republic, and it had a stadholder, a regent, who lead the republic but was no king.

The first dutch presence in the new world, the west india trading company (does sound familiar, doesn't it), had privateering (paid and organized piracy) in their statutes. Thus the notion of the dutch having the letters or marque to give to promising candidates.

Wilhelmus van Nassauen-Oranje was stadholder from 1672 to 1689, when he finally overcame the english whith whom the dutch had been in war since several decades. He was crowned king of England then.

Having educated myself, I am also pretty sure that the Black Pearl is a brigantine, not a frigate, for a frigate was a large and heavily armed ship of war. There have been four pirates in the whole of history, ever, who had been able to call a frigate their own, most did with shloops and barks. The Albatross is a bark, I'm also pretty sure of that.

But all this is just from a bit of reading, I am no woman of a nautical profession and might be wrong.

And finally, it is sad but true that Port Royal was destroyed by an earthquake and the following tsunami in 1692, and 4000 of the 6000 inhabitants were killed.

_Information mostly taken from wikipedia.  
_

**Credits**

_Pirates of the Caribbean_ and all those characters belong to Disney, for what good it'll do them since they so obviously have no idea what potential this story had and what it could have been… in any case, I used their setting to write for my personal entertainment, I did not make any money nor do I intent to do so.  
(Charitable donations in the form of bottles of Woods 100 are greatly appreciated, however.)

The following characters are mine and belong to me. In alphabetical order:  
_Aaron, Annie, Billy Turner, Eleanor Larousse, Elmer, Garbutt, Gavin, Heather, Henningsen (Niels, if you ever read this, sorry for borrowing your name but it's just brilliant), Imogen Sparrow, Iron James Rackham, Little Joshamee, Margaret Wallingford, Martin van der Vegt (Karel, if you ever read this, the same goes for you, yours is just so wonderfully dutch), McLeith, Meersen, Melville, Red Morgan, Stevenson, the two nameless hags in Curacao and Lucas van Huuiten. (oh, and Captain Gutburner of course).  
_I have invented them and only placed them into the borrowed setting mentioned above.

Chapter 03: _„The Drunken Rat"_ is taken from _„The Bard's Tale"_ and was made up by Ubisoft. I only borrowed the name because it's cool. _„Get off yer backside ye drunken lout"_ is taken from the same setting, said by the _widow Mary McRary_, owner of aforementioned establishment, owned by Ubisoft, as well.

Chapter 04 and following ones: All the _piraty pickup lines_ Imogen (and Billy) uses I have plundered from Sadly enough, my brain wasn't able to come up with something as brilliant as this. Oh, and the one with the _barnacles_ that Annie uses and Morgan's _I've crushed the skulls of seventeen men between me thighs_, as well.

Chapter 11: I have found several references of _how people survived hangings_ in the past, some were listed as legends, some as the truth. I picked out the one I thought best, but I forgot to note the source I used. If anyone ever stumbles across the story of the man who had a brass tube fitted into his windpipe to enable him to survive a hanging, please let me know.

Chapter 16: _Tea…_ haha, no, I'm only kidding ye.

Chapter 21: _Red Morgan _belongs very specifically to me, she is my piraty alter ego. You can find pictures (soon to come!) of her on my deviant art account, the link to there is in my profile. _Iron James Rackham_ is the piraty alter ego of me best mate Ben, but we don't have pictures of him. Yet!  
And no, I don't smoke a pipe. I gave it up.

Chapter 21: _Little Kate_ is my invention, although I hereby officially dedicate all parental rights to Kate, and she knows who I'm talking about. Maybe she wants to continue the generations issue with this char? The name _Captain Kate Capsize_ is borrowed, however, I think from Monkey Island. If anyone knows for sure, let me know.

Chapter 26 and onwards: I have read Treasure Island at this point and have started from then on to use some of _Long John Silver's piraty catchphrases_. I don't particularly care to point every single on out, though, but if anyone recognises them, I don't claim ownership in any way, I just borrowed them. E.g. _„…and no bones about it."_

Chapter 29: _„I thought luck had smiled at me, but it has a glass eye on the right and the eyepatch on the left side"_ is copyrighted by Funny van Dannen, a songwriter and true poet, in his song _„Weinende Piratenbraut"_ (Weeping Pirate's Bride) on the CD _„Herzscheisse"._ It fit in well there, or so I thought.

Chapter 30: _„You… insubordinate… pig."_ I can't possibly claim ownership for this, my mate Ben has made that one up. I think it's just bloody brilliant in this context. Too bad I didn't come up with it, but there you are. He was pretty well into his drink by then. Ben, that is.

Chapter 32: _„If my last words aren't I love you, it's just because I didn't have the time, aye?"_ is a slightly adapted version of a sentence taken from one of the books by Diana Gabaldon_. Jamie Fraser_ said it, but I can't remember which book in the series it was in. If you know it, let me know, please. It was just too beautiful a sentence as not to use it in this context. I almost cried when I read it the first time and I just had to use it.

Chapter 33: _„…in drunkenness and sobriety…"_ I read that one in one of the fanfic stories here, yet I can't for the life of me find it again. But this is such a brilliant Jack-Sparrow-Line that I couldn't resist borrowing it, as well. Let me know if you recognise it, and I will name the author here. Bloody brilliant, mate.

Chapter 39: Billy's song: _Now and Then_ by Blackmore's Night; Imogen's song: _Dante's Prayer_ by Loreena McKennitt

Chapter 41: _Hoist the Colours_ belongs to Disney, as far as I'm aware.

I have listed all the credits to my best knowledge and awareness. If anyone spots anything in addition to that, I have either overlooked or forgotten it, or I just plain wasn't aware that it wasn't mine. Because, sometimes, it can happen when you read so many things that something comes up in your mind that you have read but just can't remember you did, so you think you've made it up yourself. In any case, please don't sue me but let me know, so I can amend my credits.I have not done it on purpose because I take intellectual property very serious.

**Soundtrack:**

REM with _Automatic for the People_, a bloody brilliant CD that I listened to almost all the time, helpful especially when it got emotional. _The River_ is one of the most, if not the most beautiful songs ever written.

Loreena McKennitt, with _Book of Secrets _and _Mask and the Mirror_. Her enchanting music that helped me write the hardest bit towards the end, which that was picking up the pieces.

Apocalyptica, with _Cult_, the background music for the parts where I got really nasty (The leg-eating orcas, that is. I've stopped listening to Apocalyptica while writing after that…)

Garmana, who supplied me with background music where it got really heavy, like the abbey and Imogen's nightmares. (The CD was a copy I got from a friend so I don't know what it's called. And the songs are in swedish, so I can't look them up. Anyone the wiser out there?)

Lack of Limits with _Geigentanz_, the music for the first few chapters, where everything was still funny and easy-going. (I probably should have stuck to them…)

**Thanks**

My thanks goes out to

My mateBen, who was my beta-reader, coffee-supplier and idea-kindler. He also helped me out when I got seriously stuck in my plot once and helped me fine-tune van Huuiten.  
In so many words:  
_Let me venture a wild guess, Mr…McGuyre. You haven't hurt your wrist.  
__Touching.  
__We don't hang pirates any more. We shoot them.  
__I will have this letter back in two weeks and it will be signed by Captain Sparrow.  
__I hope your wrist gets better.  
__She would regret this. Maybe_.  
Everything else that van Huuiten thinks or says is entirely the product of my own weird brain.

My friend Florencia7, without whom this whole thing would never have existed. Had she not told me to make a multi-chapter story out of the little one-shot that is now chapter one, all this would never have happened.

Fanfiction, for enabling me to publicly indulge in my hobby and make my dreams become the tiniest bit more real.

My reviewers and fans, (Yes, you! You rock!!) for keeping me going and brightening up my boring workdays with the little grey alert window popping up saying „Review Alert" in the header. Always made me happy.

Disney, for inventing Pirates of the Caribbean, although they could have done a slightly better job in part 2 and especially 3. They should have let me write the screenplay…

_And last but most certainly not least:_

**Johnny Depp,** for bringing alive one of the most wonderful figures of imagination that has ever existed.

Wish I could kiss you for that.


	41. Epilogue

**- Epilogue - **

„Jack! Josh! Oh, if I catch you two silly buggers, I swear I'll whack both yer backsides!"

Stomping down the path to the bottom of the garden, Elizabeth was fairly angry. She had told Josh several times to keep his dirty paws of the pastries, and would he listen? She had given him a spanking several times as well, but had it helped? And this time, not only were _two_ pastries gone, but Jack as well.

Snorting angrily as she reached the tree with the hanging branches, she wrenched the twigs apart to stare into two guilty faces.  
Jack and Josh slowly turned their heads to face each other, two pairs of brown eyes looking at each other in the knowledge of certain doom.  
„Oh bugger", they said in unison and then both blinked.

Elizabeth suddenly held her breath as she watched the two faces look back at her. And suddenly she saw that it wouldn't have mattered who had fathered Josh, there was no denying he was a Sparrow to the bones with the long, straight nose, the high cheekbones, the black hair and the chocolate eyes. Especially now, when both of them grinned embarrassedly up at her, glancing at each other from the corner of their eyes.

„Lizzie", Jack said while getting up and brushing sugar and pastry crumbs off his shirt. „I can explain…"  
But Elizabeth, suddenly too taken aback, took a step back and let the branches drop.  
„Lizzie?"  
But she didn't listen, she just turned and walked away in what was almost a run. She couldn't even say what had upset her so much as she had discovered the ultimate likeness to Jack, the Sparrow-ness, in her grandson.

Only when she reached the cliffs above the fort did she slow down, and standing at the edge of the cliff, she hugged herself against the winds and blinked the tears out of her eyes. The circle had closed. Or just begun. But whatever would happen, something of them would remain. They would never die. Never be gone completely.

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth held her face into the wind and suddenly, from her deepest memory, a melody rose up that she had all but forgotten in the last twenty and seven years.

She hummed the tune for a while, and then the words come back to her, and she sang.

_"The bell has been raised  
__from it's watery grave...  
__Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?  
__We are a call to all,  
__pay head the squall  
__and turn your sail toward home!"_

The wind carried the notes from her lips away towards the endless sea.

_"Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colors high"_

Wiping back her tears, she stared into the setting sun, unawares of the steps slowly coming up behind her.

_"Heave ho, thieves and beggars,"_

She spun around as she realised that another voice had joined her, a deep and husky voice, and she looked into Jack's softly smiling face as he slowly walked up to her, his steps falling in time with the song. He had undone the ribbon holding back his hair and his silver-streaked black mane was flowing freely in the wind.

Jack stepped behind her and laid his arms around her, and both of them stared ahead into the sunset, Jack's singing resounding in her whole body with the deep timbre of his voice.

_"Never shall we die."_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Six years later, in the year of our lord 1692, the city of Port Royal was completely destroyed by an earthquake and the following tsunami. More than 4000 of the 6000 inhabitants died within a day._


End file.
